


so it goes

by elle_ish



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adoption, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Keith (Voltron), Bottom Shiro (Voltron), Canon Compliant, Endgame Sheith, Eventual Sex, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Smut, Found Family, Honeymoon, I'm Salty, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sex, Keith (Voltron) Whump, Keith adopts Lotor without realizing its Lotor, Kosmo is the best pupper, Long-haired Keith, M/M, Pining, Post Season 8, Proposals, Protective Shiro (Voltron), S8 fix-it, SO MANY TIMES, Season 8, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Team as Family, They aren't there yet, Top Keith (Voltron), Top Shiro (Voltron), Weddings, and Keith saves Shiro, as many times as it takes, everyone goes to a therapist it's great, healthfully talk about their issues, injured keith, mostly bottom keith tho, shiro saves keith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2019-10-02 19:34:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 140,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17269799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elle_ish/pseuds/elle_ish
Summary: Five years after the death of Allura, the group of once found-family had become strangers, and Keith was alone once again. After finding out that Shiro was planning on the 'Next-Big-Step' with his husband, Keith couldn't take it anymore. So Keith does what Keith does best: he runs. Luckily for Keith, he has a cosmic wolf who can temporarily transport him to alternate dimensions to get it out of his system.Unfortunately for Keith, he has the worst luck in the entirety of all universes, and stumbles upon an abandoned child who he ends up adopting. It just so happens that this part-Galra toddler is none other than the heir of Daibazaal himself, Prince Lotor.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone I'm salty af about s8 so this is my sort of fix-it fic. I'm going based on canon details, but I have not watched more then two full episodes and skimmed the rest in like, 10 minutes, due to the fact that I saw the leaks and was praying they wouldn't happen... so if I get any details wrong I apologize. However, the anger I felt from this season brought me out of my disparaging hell-hole that is school to pick up and write again, so thats nice.  
> This is also mostly just going to be Keith as a new parent and the fun that can be. I thought it'd be adorable, as well as trying to realistically understand why Shiro pushed everyone away the way he did (y'know, instead of just saying bad writing. There's angst there, I can sense it).
> 
> I hope you enjoy this first chapter. I haven't written any fiction in a long while, so my writing is not up to speed. Let me know of any mistakes, since I beta all my own work!  
> #theyalldeservedbetter

“ _But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human. So she was turned to a pillar of salt. So it goes. People aren't supposed to look back. I'm certainly not going to do it anymore_.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

Five years. It had been five years since Keith first ran from Earth. Since he forced himself to watch his a man he cared for so deeply wed another he barely knew. He left Earth immediately after, taking ever job and mission sent his way. He didn't rest, because resting meant thoughts that kept him up late at night. It was best to sleep exhausted when all he could see and feel was black.

He still made the mandatory yearly visits, but it always fell.. flat. He didn’t know them anymore. These people he spent so much time with, and there was now- nothing. Since the lions flew away, their connection to them and each other was lost.

Keith became lonely. The presence that had always stayed with him, that blanketed him even during the worst of his lonely nights with the Blade of Marmora, or on the space whale with his estranged mother, was gone. The little kind voice that made him feel safe and secure had vanished.

It was a feeling he was all too familiar with and it sent Keith reeling. He became a hull of the successful image he displayed, digressing back to the lonely shell of a boy he’d once been.

It had been almost six years since Allura passed and Lance couldn’t let go. Five years since the Holts began their engineering empire. Four years since Hunk became a universally known gourmet diplomat.

Five years since Shiro hastily began dating and even marrying someone from his crew and retiring.

Five years since Keith crossed his arms and bared the pain, watching from the side as a best man, as his best friend, mentor, love-

Five years since Keith left and ran away, admittedly half-assed, from being unable to watch the collapse of his friendships any longer.

Five years that had felt like so much more.

 

* * *

 

Landing on Earth really should have been his first indication that something was off. He never should have come. But tradition is tradition is tradition and Allura deserved it so - whose he to be a dick and ghost the memorial. Lance would probably have him by his blade before he let Keith skip out on the dinner.

Or maybe he’d rightfully chop his dick off. Lance could be a man of surprises...

But Keith was nothing if not if not a man of honour; even if he needed a bottle of Jack to get through the evening.

God, did they even make Jack anymore? If not, he knew he had a bottle of something alien from the Zkqaw’li system, tucked away on his ship. It wasn’t the best stuff, but it was potent enough to kill any possible illnesses, and also get Keith plastered enough to forget memories every other night. Keith didn’t like to admit how he used the bottle much more often to get drunk than to stop an incoming foreign sickness, which, y’know, was why it was made and bought in the first place.

Kosmo, the giant sweetheart he is, nudged Keith’s shoulder, whining as he pushed him forward towards the small shack, his father’s run down old home. It looked old, dirt covered, and in desperate need of a good spring cleaning. But that’s what happens to old homes in the middle of a desert when no one is there for years at a time.

Kosmo pulled Keith away from his thoughts with another whine.

“Alright, alright. I’ll clean up inside and then I’ll feed you before we go, huh?” Keith scratched behind Kosmo’s ear. “Sound good?” The wolf made a noise, seemingly of lackluster confirmation, but also a bit more subdued now that they had landed on Earth. He’d been in a frenzy stuck on the ship.

Keith just counted his lucky stars that the wolf didn’t transport him to an alternate dimension. It had happened before when the wolf became jittery and antsy.

Keith hefted his bag further up his shoulder, making way for the dusty porch where the sand covered chair still rocked from the wind.

Surprising. Keith was sure the termites would have killed the wood by now, eaten away at it just like the beams holding the rotting shack together.

He pulled at the door, the slanting piece of wood swinging open too easily. He looked inside and could see the entire room from just a small twitch of his neck. There it was, in all its lonely glory, and Keith felt his shoulders drop.

Maybe he should listen to Lance, finally move on, find someone to fill it up, redo the upper floor that had once stood and burned to a crisps, redecorate and make some extra rooms. Maybe think about settling down, having a family….

Keith tsked at his own thought. The only family he could imagine himself settling down with was perhaps an entire family of cosmic wolves. It’d fill the place with love and joy, their barks and large tufts of loose fur that Keith had to constantly clean would be bouncing against the walls.

Keith shook his head. One Kosmo was enough.

So for now, Keith just had to come to terms that it was nowhere close to the warmth and laughter and happiness it once held. Instead it was lonely, cold, and rotting. And no one could be seen for miles. Of course, what’d else did he expect?

No one ever came around these parts, especially just to see Keith land safely.

Home sweet home, he guessed.

 

* * *

 

Keith showered, cleaned, dusted and did the laundry in record time. Kosmo was left to run off some steam around the acreage. The wolf finally settled after getting a meal, chewing at a tender bone with contemplation on the patio. Just after Keith set up the bed, he noticed the setting sun, telling him what time it was. He stupidly didn’t have a clock in the shack yet, never did after the fire, no need, but thankfully he always had trusty fallbacks.

The welling feeling in his chest extended tenfold. It was nearing time for his departure that he was truly not excited for.

Sighing, Keith quickly changed from his Marmora clothes into something more suitable. It wasn’t anything nice by any means, just an older leather jacket and black jeans, the collar popped out, reminding Keith of Shiro’s old leather jacket he used to wear while riding.

Keith tried to lie to himself that it wasn’t the reason he’d bartered it while on a swamp moon, that it hadn’t reminded him of a better time when someone trusted him, believed in him, was the only one to do so while teaching him to run off cliffs-

Of course not. No connection whatsoever.

Keith pulled the jacket tighter around his waist.

Kosmo came bounding to the doorway just as Keith finished braiding his lengthy hair. The tips fell just past chest. In another year, Keith was sure it’d be to his waist. He wondered if he’d still get made fun of by Lance for once having a so called ‘mullet’.

He almost hoped so.

Brushing himself down one last time, Keith shut the door, petting Kosmo. “Ready boy?” Traveling between long distances was now an old skill, but one that still required a large amount of energy from the wolf, but he did so proudly.

Kosmo made a noise of displeasure, but little bits of blue quintessence began to sparkle, and Keith found himself landing at a table, Allura’s statue raised high above on the planet of Altea.

“Good boy,” Keith smiled, looking over the creature to make sure he was doing okay. Kosmo usually needed food or a nap immediately after traveling like that. But he seemed fine, and barked loudly, running towards the table in interest. He picked up his front paws and landed on the table, hoping to pick up anything meat heavy prematurely.

Keith tsked him away, the wolf listening and backing up with an unhappy whine.

The table, circular, was large and already full of food that Keith wasn’t even sure he could name. It was all so many foreign fruits and vegetables and weirdly cooked…. Carb...things.

Keith looked around the otherwise empty table, surprised to find himself to be the first to arrive. He almost began wondering if he got the date wrong when he heard a familiar voice coming around the corner, quizzically carrying a tray of warm baked goods.

“Are you sure this is twice baked? It looks more like its quadruple baked, but Sperjis tasted it and said they were good, so maybe put it to the left of the table, near Coran and Kei-K-Keith! Oh hey, man! You’re early!”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Am I? The place I’m staying doesn't have a clock.”

“Ohh. The shack? Are you staying at the shack?” To Hunk’s question Keith only nodded.

Hunk put down the plates of food and began shuffling the arrangement around, finishing up how he wanted everything to be presented.

Keith hummed. “Am I too early? I can come back later if I’ll just be in your way-”

“Oh no no no no no no nooo!” Hunk waved him off without looking at him. The universally renowned chef seemed more interested in how one of his stacks of butter...cup… what the fuck were those things?! Keith shook his head, his braid falling over his shoulder as he pinched between his brows.

Either way, Hunk was more interested in making sure that the whatever-the-fuck-cups were pyramiding in an aesthetically pleasing way. “Everyone should be here soon. You’re not that early.”

Keith blew out a breath, sitting himself down in his seat.

Soon enough, the paladins would all be there; details of their new lives away from Voltron would come out, lives so far away from each other...

Keith truly hated it and also hated himself for hating it. Ironic, isn’t it? Alone once again. He was a damned lone wolf. Lance was right. Pidge was right.

No amount of life experience and traveling on space whales with estranged mothers would change that….

He felt a small nip to his hand, Kosmo’s way of letting him know his ‘teenage angst’ and ‘emohood’ as Lance and Pidge liked to call it was coming out tenfold. Keith laughed before a heavy, familiar hand landed on his shoulder.

Keith heard himself gasp, his heart speeding up just a little as he turned, and-

“Number four! How are you? How’s the Lupitians treating you?”

“Oh, hey Coran.” Keith smiled honestly. “Haven’t been there for a while. I actually just got back from the Zkqaw’li system.”

“Oh!” Coran stated excitedly, hands on his hips. “On Thsyala?”

“Nah, just the moon this time. There was a sudden spike in quintessence, so Mom and Kolivan wanted to check it out just to make sure.”

Coran nodded, tweaking his moustache with closed eyes. “Well that does tend to happen around this time of year! With it being the Thsyalarien Equinox of the Tstanthrom after all!”

“Uh, sure, Coran.”

“So how’s things going on-”

“Well, well, well!” A voice interrupted from behind Coran. “Look who decided to show up first for once. Just trying to beat us to the punch, huh, Mullet?”

“Thought we were done with that, Lance.” Keith sighed, smile tugging on his lips. Keith pulled himself from his seat, rising as Lance pulled him into a one armed hug, Pidge waving from just behind.

Pulling back, Lance jokingly patted at Keith’s stomach. “Man, why aren’t they feeding you up there, with all that running around? I swear I have more muscle than you and that’s a feat considering my profession,” Lance smiled, but Keith couldn’t help but wince. “You’re going to be skin and bone again at this point.”

Keith blinked. “Uh- again?” Lance ignored him as Pidge came up to hug Keith as well, both of the new arrivals then quickly eyeing the assortment of food.

“Man, Hunk really outdid himself this year.” Pidge said in awe. She was rarely fascinated with food the way she’d always been with robots, but Keith has seen that gleam in her eye many a time.

Lance snickered. “Yup, might just really be trying to hit the nail on the marker this year.” Lance whispered loudly to no one.

“I think you mean coffin…” Pidge quipped, obviously annoyed.

The Cuban man clapped his hands together loudly, ignoring her. “So! Is everyone here? Can we get this show on the road? I’m starving!” Keith watched his movements. Since Allura’s passing, Lance always acted more cheerful than he ever was, couldn’t let anyone know how much it had hurt him. Still hurt him.

Lance was like that though.

Hunk came blazing around the corner, shouting at Lance and Pidge to step away from the food.“No no no! Not yet! Not until everyone is here!” His hands were full with main dish of the evening, a large, silver platter with a hearty Maple Glazed Ham, setting it proudly in the middle of the table.

It smelled amazing, and the rest of the Paladins including Kosmo all moved closer closer to it subconsciously.

“Went with an Earthen classic this year, Hunk?” And there it was. The voice that, no matter how many years passed, always managed to set a pause to Keith’s heart.

In contrast, Keith noticed from the side how Lance’s demeanor shifted. His over-the-top, happy eyes became truthful, for only a minor second.

Lance, unlike everyone else, never quite forgave Shiro for completely shutting them out after returning from the Black Lion. Lance saw it as only marrying a stranger and leaving behind the one person who had ever truly cared for him, who brought him back from the dead and everything.  But if that love was never returned in the first place, how could they force Shiro into something that wasn’t right for him? How could Keith ask that of Shiro?

This is also considering the completely false information that Keith _loved_ loved Shiro, like that true, romantic type of bullshit love, which is completely false information, and not at all accurate. At least now it wasn’t. Maybe back in the good old days, Keith may possibly admit, but-

As for shutting them out and moving on, Keith assumed it had been from needing to heal, to be able to look somewhere that didn’t constantly remind Shiro of his past; to remember a time that hadn’t caused Shiro unnecessary shame, of having to force his guard down, needing help and displaying open vulnerability during all those months it took to return to Earth. Keith understood how hard that was for Shiro. The man had never done that before, and truthfully, Keith figured he was still adjusting. Shiro never liked others knowing his pain, instead wishing to hold onto it himself and himself only.

Lance said Keith was just making up excuses, anything to make himself and his heart feel just a little better about the situation.

So when everyone got the wedding invitations, not even a full year after Allura’s death, asking to come to the marriage of Takashi Shirogane, and that guy from Atlas’ crew which the team had never been properly introduced to-

Well, it was a scandal. Both to Team Voltron and all the magazine articles worldwide when they found out.

Keith had been so sure it was a joke too, had dreamed of it every other night: “ _Of course it’s a joke, Keith. Do you really think I’d give up my career, my teammates, to marry this guy I’ve been seeing for 5 months? A guy that isn’t you? Because it’s always been you, Keith. Always and forever and however many times it takes. It's always been you, Keith. You...”_

Keith tended to wake up from _that_ particular daydream right before it got good.

“Oh, hey Shiro. How’s Curtain?” Lance stippled, elbowing at Shiro’s waist as the older man finally reached the table.

Shiro looked less than pleased at Lance’s attempt of humour.

“Curtis.”

“Gesundheit.”

Sighing, Shiro moved to the side, offering Hunk and Coran a hug, and saying a few words to each. He was making his way down the line, stopping just before Keith, causing the black haired man to go stiff.

Kosmo tilted his head at the strange body language.

“Hey Pidge. How’s the engineering going?” Shiro asked, having reached the youngest paladin.

She shrugged. “Oh y’know. Some days are easier than others but what can you do when you’re raising the next generation of pilots, am I right?”

“I get it.” He chuckled, reaching downwards and pulling her into a hug.  “Curtis has been wanting to have a family dinner again, since last week was a hit. Think we can arrange anything?”

Pidge briefly glanced at Keith, who was happily petting Kosmo and pretending to not be eavesdropping. Though it was obvious he needed to work on his acting skills. “I’m sure we can figure something out, Shiro. My parents love having you two over, anyways.”

It was true, the Holts loved them together. Sam Holt even officiated the wedding.

“Keith,” Keith stalled and turned slowly, looking towards the man he’d once called his best friend. Shiro smiled, glasses lighting up from the evening glow. He had slight stubble, and he looked older. More tired, somehow.

From the way the light hit him, it made him look ageless and a thousand years old all at the same time. An abandoned memory of a planet's reflection hitting his face as they fell formed immediately in Keith’s mind.

He swallowed at the sight. Keith always found him beautiful.

“H-how have you been?” Shiro asked, scratching behind his ear. His eyes never reached Keith’s. That was the other thing, he never could look Keith in the eye since they had fallen from the sky after Sendak, and never visiting Keith in the hospital.

Keith shook away his intrusive thoughts, adjusting to Shiro in front of him. Maybe the glasses were annoying, Keith knew how they must take some time to get adjusted to, how new they were. The fact that Curtis helped pick them out since there was multiple magazine photos of it and-

“Uh, good. Good.” Kosmo came bounding up from behind, almost knocking Shiro over and straight into Keith. He pawed at Shiro’s side, begging for a pet.

Shiro laughed, lifting his hand and scratching at behind wolf’s ears.

“I heard you were in the Zkqaw’li system?” He spoke after a moment of taking in Kosmo’s new size. He wasn’t too much bigger, but Keith hadn’t brought him in the past few years, so it still must have been a shock.

“Yah. Quintessence pick up. Had to go investigate.” Keith reached for his long braid, fingers running over the plaited strands to calm himself. It was a nice safety blanket, having it there to have something to play with. He noticed the older man staring at his figure.

Shiro blinked. Once. Twice… Thrice before clearing his throat, his face slightly flushed.

“Your hair. It’s longer.”

“That’s what happens when you don’t have scissors… Or work for the Garrison.”

Finally catching his eye, for just a moment before turning away,  Shiro smiled. “You look good, Keith. I mean it.”

Keith couldn’t help but reciprocate, and he swore he heard Lance choke. “You do too, Shiro.” He hoped those words remained between only the two of them, a moment they hadn’t shared for literal years.

“And now that everyone’s here, we may commence the feast!” Hunk yelled too loudly, Lance having to cover his ears as he scoffed.

Well, here goes nothing.

 

* * *

 

“Oh yeah, so you didn’t answer. How is Cory doing again?”

Shiro, it seemed, had to give himself his own words of advice. ‘’ _Patience yields focus’_ _my ass,’_ Keith would laugh if it didn’t mean disrespecting Shiro’s decisions.

“ _Curtis_.”

No one else really spoke openly about the man after that, it was still a sore spot. But Keith was sure Hunk or Pidge or maybe Coran would ask a little something about Shiro’s lover as the meal went on. It was the respectful thing to do after all.

As they all sat down, stomachs rumbling and food still warm, Keith noticed that to his right a patch of orange sat down beside him after filling his plate.

Keith blinked, looking around the table in question. Shiro had taken Coran’s old seat, beside Hunk. And Keith suddenly felt his stomach sink. He swallowed, brushing away his mild shock with a wipe to his lips with a napkin. Any feeling of friendship he thought he may be able to recreate was gone, just like that.

No one else seemed to notice the intrusive thoughts.

Coran sat beside Keith, going on at length about the new colony and how everything was going, perhaps not noticing when Keith or anyone else wasn’t listening. He kept up conversation when it swayed into the awkward, no-one-knows-what-to-talk-about territory, when the silence became deafening. It surprised Keith just how much had changed in six years.

Lance added in his own tidbits of information, here and there, but remained subdued beside Keith. It was driving Keith nuts.

These weren’t the people he once knew. Did Allura’s death separate them that much?

Kosmo nipped at his wrist gently, blinking himself back to the present. Keith took a piece of the toasted sesame bun, splitting it in half and giving some to Kosmo, who was happily still chewing on a piece of bone Hunk had given him, but extra food never hurt.

“-earch going, Shiro?”

Shiro placed his fork gently onto the delicate china, folding his hands together as he regarded Hunk. Everything he did was so precise, soundless, graceful. Keith once swore it was rehearsed, practiced, but no. That was just Shiro. “It’s going well, all things considered. It’s a very difficult decision and process, so I’m just happy we’re finally starting it.”

Process? Decision?

“Yah, anyone that catch your eye yet?” Lance asked, surprising the rest of the group.

Shiro chuckled, a sound that made heat rise to Keith’s chest. “Uh, yes. Actually. But we’re not sure yet. There’s a little girl who Curtis and I fell in love with during the interview process. But she’s so young, and sadly the war didn’t end discrepancies of gay men having kids through adoption.”

Knife. Stab. Directly to his heart. He’s openly bleeding over the table and everyone is standing by and watching it happen.

Keith blinked. “W-what?” He asked before he could stop himself.

The entire table fell silent, everyone avoiding Keith’s eyes. Everyone except Shiro, who turned to Keith with a small, almost painful smile.

“Me and Curtis.” He started quietly, uncertain. He approached the subject like Keith’s foster parents did every time they sent him back to the home. “We’re thinking of adopting, and have even started the process. It, uhh, it can take a few years to go complete if we’re accepted.”

“Yeah I remember.” Keith snapped, causing Pidge to startle.

Shiro’s mouth fell open, wide for all the flies to gather into.

Keith hopes he doesn’t choke, his new life and husband and maybe daughter would be left without a man they love; and Keith knows exactly what that’s like.

“Which, as established and esteemed men of the once known Atlas, this should be no problem!” Coran yelled, overly jolly, trying to raise the mood.

“Thank you, Coran. That’s what we’re hoping for.”

And Keith hasn’t been able to breath.

_Me and Curtis. Thinking about. Adopting. Little girl. Fell in love- Curtis._

“O-oh…” Shiro turned back his attention to Keith at the sound. “How long has this been a plan?” He really wished he could learn how to shove his foot in his mouth.

“Keith,” Lance tried to engage.

“We’ve been thinking about it for a few years, actually.”

Oh.

“We started the process almost a year ago.”

Oh.

“We, uhh, actually decided to try and adopt through the home that you were from.”

_Oh._

“So it’s not so new then. The decision.” Keith needed to leave and that was painfully obvious to everyone at the table. He couldn’t lose this friendship anymore than he already had.

He had to be happy for Shiro, god dammit. He hadn't even been this obvious when Shiro asked him to be his best man, and Keith cried after that. Honest to god _cried_. And Shiro- Shiro looked down right distraught that Keith didn’t seem happy. He looked worried, concerned, as though _Keith_ had any reason to be upset right now, instead of himself.

“Keith, I-”

“Sorry, just. Congrats, Shiro. I’m ha-” Keith visibly shook his head, because he could never outright lie. “You’ll be great parents. I mean it. If you want I’ll talk to Sister Anne… Maybe it’ll help...” He cleared his throat and pushed himself away from the table, something that surprised no one. “Sorry,” he coughed, “I think I have something stuck in my throat. I uhhh.. Yah.” He even waved a pathetic little wave before he rushed away, Kosmo trailing directly behind.

He didn’t notice how Shiro was halfway out of his chair, ready to make a run for it, Hunk and Coran keeping him in his half-crouched position in his seat.

It was Lance who spoke first, sipping at his wine. “Not now, man. He still needs more time.”

“It’s been five years.” Shiro pleaded.

“And it’s been almost six since Allura, and I still haven’t moved on. Keith loved you for even longer, whether or not he'll ever admit it. So for his sake and not yours, give him more time.”

 

* * *

Keith couldn’t breath.

He had to go. He had to go now. Away from here. Away from Earth. Away from a sad, burnt home, from a sad hope for a life that would never go anywhere. He needed to leave.

He needed to run away, full-assed and far far away.  And this time? He wouldn't come back.

What was the point?


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter: Toddler Lotor >:) I use it/them to describe him since Keith doesn't know what gender/species he is when they first meet.  
> Due to the hell that is school coming back into session, I'm planning on updating once a week, hopefully. I have over half this fic done, so hopefully I can keep up with updates, haha. So every Friday Night/Saturday morning (lez be real), hope to expect an update!  
> Also I beta my own stuff, so let me know of any grammatical errors I may have missed :)  
> ***Lastly, TW: graphic depiction of injuries and wounds, Keith/Lotor are in trouble. This is a rough(er) ride, but atleast next week the fluff starts?!?!

“ _Distance was a dangerous thing, she knew. Distance changed people_.”   
― Rohinton Mistry, A Fine Balance

**8 months later...**

Lotor’s first memory was of a purple: searing, cruel, glowing violet eyes that hoped to do more harm than good.

He remembered not being able to breath, fumes causing his body to feel as though he were on fire. He remembered feeling scared, begging and screaming as much as he could for someone to help him, anyone to come and take him away from this place.

_Please._

He didn’t know the names of the people he was shouting for, nor the faces they wore.

His first memory was of calling for someone who never came.

 

* * *

 

Keith accepted any and every mission sent his way. He’d left his bag back at his father’s shack, unsure of when he’d see or care for it again. He didn’t have much else with him, but such as the life of a Blade's member helping to reconstruct the Universe one lonely day at a time.

Eventually he would buy some more clothes at another swamp moon. It would be nice to full change from something other than his two outfits every once in a while.

It reminded him of the days directly after Shiro’s wedding, Keith unable to sleep or eat and instead throwing himself into his work. Weight he couldn’t afford to lose melted from his body. Though in hindsight, Keith could definitely say he was far worse off now.

He was happy for Shiro, he truly was.

But adopting a child was a final nail was it not? Keith couldn't be so selfish as to wish ill on the hypothetical kid, watching their parents break up just for Keith-

Nope. 

“Preparing for landing on Thysala’s moon.” He spoke into the intercom. Static answered him back, and Keith rose an eyebrow. This had been happening the closer he came to the moon’s orbit. But it hadn’t been until now that he lost connection entirely.

“Keith coming in, do you copy.” He called again, trying to figure out a way around the interference.

He could pick up the remnants of a voice, but he knew the airwaves were patchy at best, getting so close to the affected area. Without Zarkon and Honerva around stealing the Universe's quintessence for their own gain, the energy had been increasing, large spikes appearing across the galaxy as though they were growing.

Maybe quintessence itself was like the forests of old, Keith had thought to himself once during a mission brief, once cut down for human growth, finally taking back the land. The mess of an overgrown forest had always been beautiful and seemingly gargantuan.

It was a sigh of relief to see, but if the sudden spikes kept appearing, a quintessence field may form, which could cause a collapse to the integral system. Pidge told Keith to liken it to a black hole, but the type of black hole where people could survive and grow mad and melt like Lotor-

So. Here was Keith, trying to observe the areas to learn how to minimize this horrendous possibility. Well, analyze, scan, and take live footage for actual scientists to work with.

Kosmo perked up, growling when the ship began teetering. It was unsteady, lights flashing as the energy field overcame them.

“Easy boy!" Keith tried to calm the large wolf, who was slowly growing more and more frantic.

Keith could feel the quintessence swarm his ship, not as strong as he imagined but much heavier than the the last time they landed. The effect was instantaneous. His thrusters jammed in their place, the engine failing immediately.

“Shit.”

Last time Keith had a crew and a much better ship, so when things began failing, well, he had others to come to his aid, restart the system, work as a team to reboot against the less harsh conditions.

Keith was alone with a crazed space wolf, who was gnawing at Keith’s belt, trying to get him out of his seat. Kosmo's tail was knocking unhelpfully into everything, including Keith's face, blinding his vision.

“Kosmo!” Keith shouted, trying to unlock his thrusters. Keith could see the moon’s ground coming closer and closer and his mind began to race. They had been just outside of the the moon’s orbit when they had been breached. With the gravity's pull from the upper atmosphere and a theorized crash landing onto the planet's pan surface, going possibly thirty meters per second-

Keith didn't have time to think it through.

 _Shit_. Keith’s ship was going to make it.

“Kosmo move!” He screamed, going to unlock his belt buckle.

Except, the clasp didn't give way. Just like the thrusters, the lock was jammed. Keith was trapped in his seat.

Shit, shit, shit-!

They were falling too fast and Keith was stuck and nothing was happening and his knife, where was his knife?! He left it back on board the mothercraft, didn't he?! Since this wasn't a 'hostile' mission, according to his Mother.

The ground was only a few seconds away and Keith had to do something quick or else-

Keith saw the blue bits of energy in his frantic state before he felt it. Suddenly Keith was moving, he was out of his seat and he was flying and fuck, he knew something was off. This was a rarity, but given the effect of the large amount of quintessence and Kosmo’s abilities, the wolf had probably absorbed whatever it could, quickly allowing Keith and himself freedom.

It worked a little too well.

They landed in a barren, hot, and highly toxic landscape.

Keith fell ungracefully on his back, his feet having slipped underneath him in the sudden burst of chaos. He coughed, covering his mouth his with arm.

Keith hated traveling through alternate timelines. His body always felt gritty after arriving, like he wasn’t completely there.

Sometimes he wondered if he was part of a game in a computer, and going through dimensions was just someone transferring his data to other files on dial-up. He always figured Pidge would enjoy that reference.

Sulfur was visible in strands of grey, flowing like a hazy mist through the darkened area. The errant curls swirled around deadened, black trees, the grounds giving off an air of density that had Keith at the edge of his seat.

“Kosmo, where the fuck are we?!” Keith yelled from behind his mask. He had immediately slipped it on when he felt Kosmo beginning to transfer them, never quite knowing where they'd end up. Keith had learned  too well from experience.

Good call too, he thought as he analyzed the planet’s surface levels. He was just thrilled to learn about their readings.

“So venomous, possibly fatal fumes, huh? Great.”

He turned to Kosmo in question. “I'm assuming because you’re a cosmic animal born from the rift, that the fatal fumes don't affect you, huh?” Kosmo howled, bouncing from foot to foot like he sometimes did when he was about to be fed. His tongue hung out happily. Kosmo was just thrilled they were both alive.

“Glad to hear it.” Keith quipped.

Keith moved forward, surprised at how buoyant the sticky ground was. It felt like he was walking in one of those inflatable, bouncy castles, with heat rising at a temperature much too high for Keith’s long-term survival. Or general happiness. Keith liked quietness and heat, had learned to love it from the desert, but not like this.

This place meant death.

When Keith glanced around momentarily, stalling, he felt himself sink into the charcoaled, airy ground. Heat struck his foot and to the immediate touch it felt icy. It burned through his Marmora suit and Keith screamed in pain.

Kosmo, well alerted to Keith and having never sunk into the ground, bit at Keith’s hand and transferred them elsewhere on the strange planet. The wolf fell to its side in a huff as they landed, trying to breath after the overuse of energy. He’d used too much too fast and needed rest. _Now_.

Keith looked over the infected foot, hissing at the ripped, now bubbling skin. “Shit.” He whispered, pressing against it.

He didn’t have much in the way of supplies on him, and could only hope Kosmo would rest up and regain enough energy soon to transfer them back to their timeline.

Keith huffed a breath, growling through the pain. Kosmo whined again, nudging his nose against Keith’s shoulder.

“Rest up, buddy. We’ll go home when you’re better.”

He made an unhappy noise, ears perking up as though he heard a sound.

Keith scratched at his head. “Sleep. If anything happens I’ll deal with it.” He promised. Even if he was out a foot, he’d dealt with worse in the past. Kosmo looked uncertain, but giving a quick glance around, he let his head fall and eyes shut, falling immediately to sleep.

Keith sighed, moving back to prop himself against a collapsing, hallow tree. He picked at the ground, the sand coming up black and heavy. It was hot up here too, but nowhere close to melting like it had been before. How had the trees survived down below?

Keith looked around. They were at a higher vantage point, somewhat on a rocky cliff leading towards a larger, jagged mountain. It was either nighttime, or the sulfur was affecting the air, making it so Keith couldn’t see the sky. There was minimal smoke though, causing him more confusion.

The planet was strange.

Keith hissed through his teeth as he tore off a hidden pocket from his waist, reaching for a small pill and the remnants of an oil his mother bought him so long ago. It was a tiny package, smaller than his pinkie, which allowed him to keep it hidden on his person. Luckily it was effective and quick acting, Krolia showing him how minimal of ointment he needed to aid an injured area.

He popped the pill dry, choking it back with spit, and used the little amount of ointment against his bubbled skin. If there were leaves, he’d use them as bandages, but it looked as though there wasn’t anything alive for miles. So he wrapped up his foot with the sad piece of torn cloth from his pocket. It wasn't much, but his foot was covered, and it'd help keep Keith's skin away from the planet's harmful air, at the least.

Keith sighed, patting at his sleeping wolf's fur. It was more for his own comfort, honestly. And from the looks of things, Keith would be spending the night here. If not that then at least the next several hours. Maybe he could break apart a tree and make a sort of shelter in case anything were to happen. Luckily, Keith’s senses weren’t going ballistic. There didn’t seem to be anything predatorial here, so he’d take what he could.

Closing his eyes, Keith settled more firmly against the wood, mimicking his wolf and quickly falling asleep.

The shelter could wait until later.

 

* * *

 

Keith woke a few hours later to the ground moving underneath him. He was sweating profusely from the heat, and he had half a mind to not run his hand over his face mask. Kosmo was awake, albeit still a little tired when he nudged at Keith.

“I’m awake, I’m awake. Let’s move.” He said groggily. Kosmo began releasing little specks of light, intending to transport them elsewhere, farther away, but Keith stopped him. “No, save your energy to get back to our Earth.” Kosmo seemed to understand and backed off.

Keith leveraged himself against the falling tree, walking with a limp as they moved away from the unsafe land.

They walked for what felt like and was certainly a couple of hours. Keith licked at his dry lips, knowing he’d need water soon. His stomach rumbled too. And he wasn’t at all surprised to realize  he hadn’t needed to go to the washroom. It just meant he’d sweated anything out of his system from the overbearing heat.

Yeah, they needed to get off the planet. Soon.

Last thing Keith needed was to die from dehydration while alone surrounded by toxic fumes.

Wouldn't that just be his luck?

Kosmo looked just about ready to leave, but would probably need another half an hour due to the lack of food and sweating.

There was nothing alive on this planet, and it scared Keith a little.

It was completely silent, besides the bubbling pockets from underneath his feet, the howls of moving air in the distance.

It was disturbing.

Sighing, Keith limped around a corner of the mountain’s rocky ledge, trying to climb higher, and found himself coming into an inbrook of dead trees.

Keith stopped in his tracks.

There, perched high on a tree’s bulbous trunk to escape the ground, looked to be a child. It was a small, bruised, form of a being. They were sweating profusely, and looked to be having a hard time breathing. Their chest was puffing a mile a minute, and they cried out a little when he saw Keith. It tried to stretch out a failing hand.

What the hell.

“He… Hel..” The kid huffed, barely able to form words. The rags of clothes it wore were burnt and tattered and dirty, and had no shoes or mask to speak of.

Keith moved quickly towards him, arms outstretched. The kid, behind swelling eyes, looked fearful, so fearful, that it caused Keith to take a step back.  Keith rose his palms facing outwards toward the child to show he didn’t mean harm. The kid didn’t seem sure.

Breathing a deep breath in, Keith allowed his mask and hood to come off momentarily, so the child could see his face. He blinked against the fumes, but didn’t take a breath, hoping the effects wouldn’t be long lasting. He could feel the venom sinking into his exposed skin, lighting it as though it were on fire. He bore it, moving so he was only an arm lengths away from the kid, his braid falling against the kid’s skin.

“My name is Keith.” He said quietly, gently, because screw trying to be able to breath. He had to help this kid and get him out of here. As soon as possible which needed to be now.

The child choked, but nodded. It’s eyes widened when they caught sight of Kosmo, their shaking increasing as they tried to point towards the creature to warn Keith. “Wa.. Wat-” The kid then coughed up what sounded like a lung.

“Kosmo. That’s Kosmo.” Keith said, his voice already in ruins from the smoke. He petted the wolf quickly, to prove Kosmo was a friendly, empathic creature. 

The child nodded weakly, eyes trying to stay awake. “Ko… Kos…” They choked, head falling limp against the branches.

Strong, stubborn violet eyes still watched Keith carefully, assessing him. They tried to move forward against their own volition, grabbing for Keith’s braid and holding it like it meant something. But the kid collapsed, completely out of it and shaking. Any awareness it had was gone now that help had arrived. Keith pulled the kid towards his lap when their body toppled off the unsteady trunk. Letting the kid continue to hold onto the braid, Keith placed his mask back on momentarily, taking full, deep breaths. He knew their was a hole from his otherwise occupied strand of hair that was allowing the fumes into his mask.

This wasn’t a full proof plan.

The kid’s skin, like Keith’s foot, was burnt, bubbled and overheated. It looked like they either fell into a charcoaled, lava pocket or something vicious had attacked it…. Or the disturbing notion of both… It’s eyes were swelled over, bruising, and not a patch of skin was left undamaged. Keith couldn’t get a good look at them, nor could he even tell what colour their skin was.

It’s mouth was opened, trying to grab breaths wherever it could, looking like a fish out of water. It’s longer hair was grimy and blackened from the dirt and ash falling like from the sky.

How the hell did this kid get out here?!

“Come on, kid. Come on!” Keith begged, pressing the shaking form tightly against his chest as he rose. He couldn’t let the child die, Keith couldn’t allow it. He pulled his mask from his own face and placed it on the kid’s, hoping to improve its breathing.

The effects of the planet's fumes were overwhelming then, just as the grounds began to rise and pop with lava. Pieces of rocky flames were flying outward, and it felt like they were trapped in a geyser of fire, Keith coughed, unable to take a breath. He felt the venomous heat fill his throat, his nostrils, his lungs, burning through all of his passage ways. He stumbled, holding the child closer. He tried to call out for help, for Kosmo to take them away, but no sound came out. Keith couldn’t breath, he couldn’t see. He felt Kosmo equally as stunned and stressed beside him, unable to move.

Keith fell over an enlarged root, making sure to land on his back, keeping the kid in relative safety. The sand quickly sank over his skin, and the icy heat slammed into him, the smell of burnt flesh and sulfur rising to his nose.

“Kosmo!” Keith was shocked he could even make a sound behind his choking, let alone screaming. He was desperate. He wanted to cry when the kid in his arms, not yet surrounded by the overflow, seemed to barely hear him.

The wolf was at his side in an instance, paws safely remaining above ground, unable to sink. Blue sparks came to fruition. It took about thirty seconds, thirty long heart stopping seconds that felt like the end of the world to Keith. It could have been for all he knew. As they transferred through time, Keith was left only able to listen and watch as the child tried to choke on inhaling breaths. Keith couldn't do more than that. He was so useless.

It was still trying though, and Keith saw a survivor behind those blinking, damaged eyes. But nothing was for certain without help of medical aid. Keith felt his eyes welling with tears, he needed to help this kid. He couldn’t let them die.

As though a higher being was listening to Keith’s inner pleads, Keith fell right into a meeting at the Garrison on Earth, _his_ Earth. He stumbled blindly, falling to his knees when his injured foot gave out from under him. It stretched the burns on his back. Keith didn't even notice them. It had always took a bit to realign himself between realities. His fingers twitched and his throat burned. His back was exposed, raw, and leaking. He didn’t even want to imagine what it must look like.

The world began to tunnel and his ears began to ring. Keith blinked, shaking when he barely noticed Kosmo collapsing in a heap from exhaustion beside him.

“Keith?” He heard someone gasp.

Someone familiar.

Important.

Their blurry form rushed over, hands up in a way of help.

Keith wasn’t making anything from the gestures.

Keith tried to swallow spit, his mouth was so dry. He wanted water. The kid remained motionless. Keith tightened them closer to his chest before holding the child outwards like an offering, murmuring little sounds, begging the room but his voice wasn’t working. 

 _Help him._ Keith was pleading.

Keith’s swelling eyes were falling shut as he heard sounds of life around him, large, gentle hands finally falling over his body as they guided him and the child to safety.

The kid never let go of his braid.

Keith took a last breath before collapsing, a sigh of relief when he heard the child begin to wail, little hands desperately clinging to Keith’s chest. Keith held back tight, the smell of sulfur still in his nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for making y'all suffer, but now they've met! Keith saved an abandoned Lotor from Hell Planet! I promise next chapter is when the fluff commences. Lotor and Keith are the best  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know it was a rough ride.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heres the next chapter, with Lotor! Commence light fluff... meow!  
> Heads up: Lotor does not pronounce things properly, since's he's a tiny toddler, so I usually have Keith say it directly after, but he can't pronounce most 'R's (the big one), 'th', some 'Ls' and over emphasizes his 'T's so like Can't is more like Can-tuh, which I write once and never again.  
> And whenever he says Mr. just imagine he's saying it in a toddler way, like Meee-stuh, thats the only one I didn't write out childishly.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

“ _U_ _nless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”_  
Dr Seuss, The Lorax

Keith awoke to the sound of beeping and the smell of antiseptic. It kept him feeling ill, having always hated hospitals since his father’s untimely passing years ago. He noticed immediately that no one was around. It may be too soon for Keith’s recovery, knowing only family would be allowed in immediately. But Keith had stupidly become accustomed to waking up with someone else there in the hospital, or having a card or flowers on the bedside table. Something letting him know he hadn’t been entirely left alone.

Keith felt a shred of guilt. He shouldn’t ever expect that kindness from anyone. Just because he became used to it for a short while didn’t mean it was to be entailed. That line of thought was just arrogant and prudish.

Keith sighed, head falling back to his pillow, staring at the ceiling.

It seemed like it was night, from the way the half moon shone through his window, beneath the cracks of the curtains. He was still groggy from the drugs, noticing the heavy IV wires attached to his extended arm.

He could barely move, his back aching behind the layers of bandages.

Well shit-

The door opened suddenly and Keith’s heart piqued with interest.

“I see you’re awake.”

“Mmm.” Keith made a humbled noise. He licked his chapped lips, throat dry and jaw aching. Drugs always made him clench his teeth.

The nurse dragged in medicines and a folder with her, jotting down notes as she looked over Keith’s wounds.

“Just wake up?” She asked, a hint of a southern accent peaking through.

“Mmf.”

“Water?”

Keith nodded as best he could through the drugged haze. He knew his reaction was jittery at best, and similar to an astounding computer glitch at worst.

The nurse held up a small cup of water for him to sip at, knowing he had to drink it gentle and with caution. Or else he could choke.

And die.

When she pulled it back, Keith spluttered, coughing. It wasn’t enough, but it quenched his need for now, poorly.

The nurse moved away after adjusting Keith back into a lying position, flicking at the IV bag. “Your bandages were changed a few hours ago and are still okay. I’ll change them again in the morning.”

“Isn’t it morning now?” His jaw ached.

“Ha ha funny guy. Be careful, any more movement from your mouth and we may have to wire your jaw shut.”

Keith’s eyes widened and the nurse winked. “I can joke too. We won’t be doing any wiring. But now that you’re awake, I will have to take some blood.”

She brought out a syringe, washing Keith’s arm with antiseptic. “Okay with needles?”

Keith nodded.

“Just turn away if it bothers you.”

“So, how’re you feeling? Groggy? Tired.”

Keith just nodded, not really able to do much else. She looked over a few more wounds, moving his legs around and seeing if he could feel everything. She lifted the blanket and tucked it back around his waist.

“Where’s Kosmo?” He questioned. Start with the easier ones first, then launch into the more difficult ones, Keith thought.

“The wolf?”

Keith tried to nod and immediately regretted the decision.

“I wouldn’t nod if I were you, as you just noticed. However, from what I do know, your friends, the Holts, had him for a bit. But he began causing an uproar after trying to break into the hospital, and then eating the electrical wires at the Garrison, so they sent him to stay with your friend, Takashi Shirogane? He has plenty of property, and that wolf seems to like him. Could only calm down that thing with Mr. Shirogane around."

Great. Perfect.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Just the greatest news ever.

Keith cleared his aching throat. “How’s the kid?” His voice was wrecked, low, haggard, and gritty. Jesus. He could give a bass singer a run for his money.

“Hurt, badly.” She stated firmly, which Keith was thankful for. He’d rather not beat around the bush with something like this. “He won’t give us a name, and we barely got a blood sample to figure out his dna for the appropriate medicine…” she grumbled, changing out the IV bag with a new one.

“He’s been awake for 36 hours,” she said. “He won’t fall asleep. He won’t eat. We were barely able to bathe the poor thing, he’s so scared. Luckily he takes his medicine without a fuss.” She sighed loudly, itching her brow.

“He’s been asking for you, wondering if ‘Mr. Keef’ is okay. About all he will say to the nurses.”

Keith perked up, grabbing at the nurses wrist, pleading for more information. “For me?” It couldn’t be true. He’s Keith. Just Keith. He’s not that special.

The nurse smiled, patting Keith’s wrist before gently placing it back down. “You’re a hero to him. He’s terrified he killed you… I think that’s why he hasn’t slept. He needs to know if his hero will make it…” She side eyed him carefully, as though she knew what he was thinking.

“It’d take more than that planet to kill me.” Keith tried to chuckle, but from the nurse's glare, it was obvious the attempted humour was not well received.

Keith had almost died. Stupidly, too.

“Can you take me to him? If it’ll help him sleep?”

The nurse looked appalled. “He’s in pediatrics!”

“So?”

“Do you realize where you are?” She spoke quickly. At the shake of his head, she nodded and explained. Kindly, which was a little surprisingly. Keith was left in a dazed shock.

“You’re in the Galra ward, ICU. You were in surgery for 4 hours, and have severe third degree burns running along your spine and nearly through your latissimus dorsi muscle on your left side. Luckily it stopped just before the biceps, which is why your shoulder and the backside of your arms aren’t affected too heavily. Everything in between however… It just needs time to rest…” She quickly read over the notes in her folder. “You also passed out from dehydration and exhaustion. So, as your nurse, I am stopping any unnecessary motions that may cause more harm. You are in no position to leave this room, nor your bed. You need rest and recovery. You can see him afterwards when you’ve been moved elsewhere.”

“Please? If he’s worried sick and can’t sleep, wouldn’t that just cause more damage? Please? I need to see him-”

“Don’t give me any of those guilt trips." She said sternly, flicking her pen at him to prove her point. "I have two children at home with much better puppy eyes than you. So trust me, it won't work.”

“He’s just a child.” A child who is scared and alone on an unfamiliar planet without anyone to care for him.

Keith at least understands a good part of it.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Kogane.” She smiled honestly. “He can wait just a bit longer. I can’t risk injuring you any further…”

“I understand.” Keith admitted, falling back onto the mattress in a huff, eyes analyzing all parts of the room.

He knew as soon as she left he could use the IV as a crutch.

Nothing would stop him from seeing the kid.

Just had to play pretend  in the mean time.

* * *

   
He waited for 20 minutes, listening as the nurse made her runs down the hall. When the area became silent, Keith made his move. It hurt like a fucking bitch, he wouldn’t lie, but he couldn’t just leave the kid all alone. Keith didn’t have any real connection to his limbs at the moment, so when he got himself into a sitting position, attempting to stand, he immediately feel to his knees with a grunt. He could feel the stitches on his back stretching. Keith swung the IV closer with the attachments to his arm, using it like a ladder as he climbed up, standing on shaky legs. He moved a little forward, baby steps, and he almost fell.

Keith was already panting in exhaustion, now using the bed to hold himself up alongside the IV.

God this was going to be a trip. Keith just prayed on his lucky stars that’d he’d make it there before falling unconscious.

He stood tall then, having to trust himself.

The kid needed him.

Now.

Where was pediatrics?

* * *

   
The first thing he noticed in his shaky, heaving, deadened gaze was that the kid’s bed was moved closer to the window, obviously something by request. His head was wrapped in white bandages from what Keith could see. He laid a little on his his side, his big, tired eyes looking longing towards the night sky. His hands were bunched around  what looked to be a baby blanket. It was blue, and had ducks and bears on it, and wrapped perfectly around the kid's form over the thin hospital blanket. The kid was wrapped like a cocoon with no means of escape by the looks of things.

Cute.

The kid didn’t seem to notice Keith’s presence, so he cleared his throat. “Hey.”

The kid swerved upwards at the noise, eyes widening as Keith approached. He pushed himself backwards into his pillows, like he was afraid. Uncertain. Keith understood the feeling, so he remained where he was, hallway light bathing over him. He wasn’t sure if he could stand for much longer, though, his legs were about to give out.

“You look a lot better.” Keith tried. And the kid did, much better than Keith at the least. Most of his wounds were well on their way to healing, his swollen eyes had come down immensely, still not quite healed over though. However, this meant he could look at Keith in all his pained glory.

And now that his skin was cleaned off, Keith could see that it was- purple?

Interesting. Perhaps he was also part-Galra, like Keith. That’d be helpful to get the kid to open up.

The kid smacked his lips like a fish, just staring unresponsive.

Keith suddenly felt like a fairy godmother or Santa Clause being caught with how the kid was looking over him.

“I just,” Keith started, now unsure if this was a good idea. “Heard you weren’t sleeping, maybe cause’ of me?” Keith scratched at the back of his head, hands running down his hair and- oh! His hair. It hadn’t been cut or burnt off. That’s a surprise. He blinked.

This was getting awkward.

“So I wanted to make sure you were okay. Which it looks like you’re doing are. Doing okay, I mean. Or, better, at least.” Man, Keith was bad with kids. “I’m glad.” He legs began to shake horribly, and Keith found himself leaning against the wall, breathing hard.

The kid finally let out his own breath he’d been holding upon seeing Keith, whispering, “You awh weal?” Keith had to take a second to decipher that code.

“I’m real?” He questioned, and the kid nodded, a slight smile appearing.

Keith nodded, noticing the chair near the kid’s bed. “Yeah, uhhh, I am. Flesh and blood.” He pointed towards the chair, “mind if I sit there, my legs,” he then pointed to the shaky chicken legs that were currently not doing their job supporting his body, “are not in the best condition right now.”

The kid’s brows furrowed, obviously not grasping all the words, but he nodded none the least.

Keith almost collapsed in the chair with a huff, head falling back against the headrest.

He felt eyes staring at him and tipped his chin forward, a huge smile plastered over the kids chubby cheeks was almost directly in his own face.

“I can-Tuh, beweive it.” The kid said in awe, over emphasizing the ‘T’ in ‘can’t’. Keith could feel the kid’s breath as he said the words, he was so close.

“How old are you?” Keith asked, blinking through the dimmed lights. The kid looked around before falling back with a noise onto the bed. He brought up his hand, holding up three fingers. “Jus- jus thwee.”

“You just turned three?” Keith exclaimed, albeit in a whisper. The kid tensed his entire body in happiness, nodding. “Mhmm. Mhmm.” He nodded exuberantly.

“Wow, that’s so exciting! You’re so old.” Keith joked and the kid laughed.

“Mr. Hewo?” The kid spoke quietly, reaching for Keith’s arm. “Thank you... Fo. Saving me.” He spoke each sentence disjointed and unclear.

Keith pulled himself forward, bracing himself on the bed, the kids hand latching onto his wrist in a devil’s grip, feeling the skin with a single pointed finger. “Not Hero,” Keith explained. “Just Keith.” The kid smiled, falling back into the bed and letting go of Keith’s wrist. The dark circles were suddenly apparent as he rubbed over his eyes. “Mr. Keef.” The kid whispered, holding back a clear yawn.

“Keith is fine.” Keith tried again.

“Mr… Jus Keef... Keef?”

“There yeah go, buddy. So now you know my name, officially,” Is this how you talk to kids? Like they’re adults? Can Keith use words like ‘ _officially_ ’? Keith’s just wing it here… “Uhh- What’s your name?” Keith asked.

The kid put his hands behind his back, puffing out his chest as though he were royalty. “Low-toe” He pronounced slowly.

“Lo-to? Lowtto?”

The kid shook his head, white pieces of uneven hair falling over his ear. Most was shaved down in random areas to make way for the bandages and stitches, but others were still long in random places. It seemed to be bothering the kid.  Keith would have to ask to even it out.

“Lo.” He began, forcing Keith to join along with him before he continued. “Lo?” Keith said too.

“Toe.” There seemed to be a slight R there, which made Keith come closer, eyeing over the purple skin, white hair, violet eyes…

“Lo...Tor?” Keith said slowly, the facts dawning on him. “Is your name Lotor?”

The kid nodded, scratching at the bandages around his arm.

Keith now felt like the fish out of water.

“Oh… Uhm….” He tried.

 _Shit._ No! No way in _hell_ was this  _the_ Lotor they all knew and possibly (see: _definitely)_ killed. No way. There was probably well over a billion different ‘Lotor’s’ within every galaxy, this one just so happened to have an uncanny resemble to the one Keith just so happened to know.

And helped destroy.

“Lotor.” Keith tested the waters. “That’s.... a nice name.”

“Yo dog name?”

Keith blinked, not entirely hearing the question as his mind played a rapid fire game of twenty questions with himself. So Lotor asked again, patient.

Keith, thankfully, heard it this time and responded, the kid smiling at his weird antics. “Ohhh Kosmo? My dog’s, or cosmic wolf, actually, is Kosmo. But he acts like a puppy.”

“Kozzz-moeee.” Lotor said, giggling a little. “He-ih?! He piped up, somewhat loudly. Keith had to check around, making sure no one heard the squeal before continuing.

“No, not here. Not today. He’s at a uhh… A _friend_ ’s house. Apparently.” Keith said, trying to keep the snide sound out of his voice. He shrugged it off quickly, picking at one of his bandages, mind still asking too many questions at once. “ Hey, Lotor, I do have a question for you, though. Think you have it in you to answer? And then you’ll go to sleep?”

Lotor nodded, interested though tired.

“What were you doing out there, on that planet?”

Lotor looked down, suddenly sad. He fiddled with the blanket between his hands as he bit his lip.

Keith reeled back a bit. _Shit. Wrong question. Wroooong thing to say! Damage control? Damage control!_ “Hey, that’s okay, you don’t have to-”

“Twaining.” Lotor interrupted, still looking down on his blanket. “Fatha said I must twain, to be a good gal… gal- gal-eehh- eerrrrrr- ah.” Lotor overly tried for the ‘R’ in  that sentence, something he hadn’t done prior. It made Keith stew in his seat.

“Training? At three?”

Lotor nodded.

"Fatha wasn’t happy wit me. Said.. Said I was weak. Foe us.”

“For you? As Galra?” And Lotor once again nodded.

Fuck.

“So someone was there with you? On the planet?”

This time Lotor shook his head, sniffling. “No. They, dwopped me off. Said they’d come back. But- but.. They did not...”

“They didn’t come back? How long were you out there?”

Lotor lifted up three fingers again, this time the excitement was completely gone. “Thwee days.”

“And no water? No food?”

Lotor shook his head. “No. Part of twaining.”

“Jesus.” Keith huffed, rage coursing through him.

What the hell, were the Galrans just as cruel as the Spartans with their kids because what the fuck was this? This was too much. Sending a three year old out into the world alone, to find food, water, shelter, and to fight against the environment? What the-

“Awh you okay, Mr. Keef?”

Keith ran his hand through his own hair, gripping at its ends. “You can just call me Keith, remember buddy?” Keith was gritting through his teeth as he spoke, trying to unclench his already aching jaw. “But yeah, Lotor. Just fine…”

Lotor smiled, seemingly happily.

“Wheh awh we?”

“We’re on Earth, far away. We’re safe.”

‘Does Fatha know?”

Keith shook his head. He really wasn’t even sure if Lotor had been out for training. What if his family had just been planning on...

Shit.

What if they were planning on just leaving the kid behind? Abandoning the child to die alone?

If Keith hadn’t come- “I don’t know, Lotor. I don’t know if he does.”

Lotor huffed, shaking his head. “I hope he doesn’t.” He whispered. The words were so cruel, almost too harsh for a child who had just been learning how to pronounce Keith’s wolf’s name so joyously.

“You don’t? How come?” Keith tried to look at the kid the least pitiful as possible.

“Cause then he’ll come get me. And-and-” Oh shit, and the kid was getting upset. Shiiiit, Keith just made this hurt, tiny child locked inside a hospital cry, oh shit. _Shit._

He was  _sooo_ bad at this!

Keith forced himself upward, holding out his arms for Lotor, asking silently if he wanted a hug. The kid's eyes widened, seeming to understand. And he threw himself at Keith immediately, smashing his head into Keith’s aching jaw and neck but the kid didn’t notice so Keith figured be fine.

Keith wasn’t really sure what to do, listening to the kid sniffle away, trying to hold back tears. He never really had this, the hugging, as a kid. So he mimicked how he’d seen Lance and his family, Pidge, Hunk…

Keith pulled Lotor in closer, brushing the hair at the back of his head. “Shhh, shhh... It’s okay. You’re safe here, buddy. You’re safe. If you don’t want your Father to come get you, then he won’t. I will try my hardest, okay?” Lotor pulled back, looking at Keith’s eyes.

“Pwomise?”

“Promise. Now, why don’t you try and sleep. I have a few more questions, but that can be for later, okay?” Lotor let go of Keith to settle back down into the bedding, wiping his wet eyes. 

“You’ll be here, though, wight? Keef?” Lotor pointed to the mattress. “When I wake up?”

Keith tried to smile. He knew the nurses would find him eventually, scold him and force him back into his own room. He also knew his IV and bandages would need to all be redone, thought his stitches may have torn once or twice on the way over. He knew he was in for it… but it was worth it.

This kid needed this.

“I promise.”

“Okay.” Lotor smiled, eyes drifting closed. “Okay.” His little hand tightened against Keith’s wrist, and Keith pulled up the blankets around Lotor. Lotor immediately fell asleep, breaths becoming deep and easy for the first time in days.

Keith smiled, folding his arms over the mattress as best he could with Lotor’s extensive grip. Keith lowered his head to his hands and said, ‘Goodnight, buddy.” and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

  
Keith awoke to the sound of beeping and the smell of antiseptic. It kept him feeling ill, having always hated hospitals since his father’s untimely passing years ago. He was left in a drug induced haze, not fully remembering what exactly had happened. He tried to blink his eyes open against the harsh light of the sun.

He huffed, trying to move forward, but the scars and burns raged against the motion, so he fell back to his bed.

Keith then noticed, in his own wilting surprise, that there was someone else in the room, and memories of the night(?) before came invading back to his conscious.

Keith smiled, tightening his grip to the little boy’s hand. The kid was surprisingly asleep against the mattress, head tucked into his arms with the aid of a high chair, just as Keith had been before, with a book tossed to the side of the bed and the blankie keeping him warm. Keith felt his eyes drift close. He fell almost immediately back to sleep, a smile placed on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith’s still in hopeful denial that Lotor isn’t Lotor. He’ll come back to reality soon. Like next week.  
> In other news, anyone know a shortcut of how to do double/1.5 spaces on AO3 besides having to backspace every line manually? I've always done it manually and it's annoying. HALP


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the later update, it's just that it's my bday tomorrow/monday and its gunna be a harder day schoolwise, and this is one of my fave chapters, so I wanted to put it up now instead of the friday/saturday schedule. Regular updating to be continued next week.
> 
> ***so this chapters a bit different. Usually for this story, I like to start with a quote, but I think this time I’d prefer to end with it. It’ll make more sense. Just imagine it in Lotor’s POV.  
> ENJOY

Keith was stuck in Galra ICU for four days. Four lengthy days. Afterwards, which is where he was currently, he was to be locked in the hospital for two-to-three weeks, and then be let out, on bed rest, for the next six. 

Six whole weeks. Who the hell thought Keith Kogane could rest for six whole weeks? With nothing to do? Did the Doctor not know him? Or care? And after spending an absurd amount of time under _mandatory_ bed rest while at the hospital? Keith wasn’t even allowed to get up to pee.

He was getting antsy, extremely so, but being in the new room meant more visitors, which meant more of Lotor ‘sneaking in’ with the nurses help to pass the time. It wasn’t horrible.

Lotor was currently showing Keith all of the books the nurses read to him, showing him the pages with every moon he could find because apparently. The kid really loved moons.

“Moon!" He screamed when Keith finally got to the page. There was a moon on three of the six cardboard pages, and the kid liked the anticipation… Keith was struggling. He flipped back to the first page without a moon. “Do you see the moon here?”

“Noooo!” Lotor laughed, smile scrunching up his less swollen eyes.

Keith turned to the next moonless page. “Do you see the moon here?” His voice building as Lotor covered his mouth, holding his breath.

“Noooo!” He giggled.

“Do you see the moon…” Keith flipped to the final page, where the moon was the brightest, “here?!”

“Yes!!!!” Keith joined in on the empowering screech Lotor gave. “Yay! Good job, Buddy.” Keith laughed.

Lotor sat back on his butt on the mattress, looking curiously. He brought up his hand, tapping all of his fingertips together. The nurses had been teaching him sign language since he refused to speak openly to them.

“Moe? Moe?”

They had been doing this for twenty minutes now… But by the look  of Lotor’s face, Keith decided to go for another round. What’s another ten minutes?

“Okay. Last round. Do you see the moon… here?!”  


* * *

  
Late into the night, when Keith couldn’t sleep from the medication and pain, wondering if he should ring someone, he heard the sound of sniffling.

Little footsteps patted in with uncertainty, hovering by the opened door. Keith could see the elongated shadow.

“Lotor? Buddy?” He called, forcing himself into a sitting position. “You okay?”

Lotor shuffled in, the shadow decreasing until Lotor himself appeared, rubbing his eyes. “You okay?” Keith whispered, and Lotor shook his head.

“C’mon, the moon is out. Wanna see it? Would that help?”

Lotor nodded, running forward. With Keith’s help he climbed the bed gracelessly, holding onto his blankie with a death grip. He didn’t seem to know where to go once on the bed, but Keith opened his arms and shuffled to the side- the side furthest from the window since he figured Lotor would want to see the moon as best as he could.

Lotor jumped into the spot, bunching his hands into Keith’s shirt, cuddling in on Keith's chest and holding on as tightly as possible.

He began to cry.

“Hey, hey, Buddy.” Keith shushed him. “What happened?”

How the hell did the child sneak past all the nurses to get here? Keith was three levels above pediatrics and it was well past midnight.

“Niigh,” the kid sniffled, the feeling of snot wetting Keith’s shirt. “Nigh-maw.” He cried, easing down a little. “Bad. It was bad.”

“Oh, Lotor.” Keith said, pulling him close. “Wanna talk about it? I know I may not be the best, but-”

“It was the panet.” Lotor quickly interrupted. “It’s ah-ways the panet.”

“The planet I found you on?” Keith asked, only to have Lotor nodded against his neck.

Keith lifted the blanket from his waist, wrapping it around the both of them.

“It was a scary planet, huh?”

Lotor nodded. “The scawiest.”

“But you,” Keith poked Lotor in his cheek, “were so brave. And you survived. You did so well, Lotor. You stayed in one place, you called for help. You did everything perfectly.”

Lotor shook his head. “No,” he said. “Not pew-fect-wy. Fatha would not- not happy. Wif me.” Lotor was taking large breaths between words, working himself up.

Keith licked his chapped lips.

“Your Father?” He questioned, tensing his shoulders for any sort of response.

Lotor nodded. “Zaw-kon, my Fatha, would not be happy with me…” He whispered.

And Keith felt his stomach sink to his core. That. The final nail in the coffin.

So this was Lotor, heir of Daibazaal. There was no way around it.

“Zarkon… and your mother… Honerva?”

Lotor nodded, crying even further into Keith’s shoulder blade. Keith tightened his grip around the little boy, shushing him and cooing to soften the tears and scary thoughts that pestered the child.

Keith was just so good at this saving people thing. 

But, when he looked down at Lotor, face still slightly swollen, crying and scared, Keith couldn’t help but think differently.

This wasn’t the same Lotor as the one he knew. This was a different one. This one had a chance for a life and love the other was never able to obtain; something everyone was just hopelessly searching for, wasn’t it?

Keith tightened his grip. He whispered, “wanna hear a story, Lotor?” 

Lotor rubbed his eyes again, Keith watching to make sure he wasn’t causing more damage to the already injured skin.

“It has to do with outer space. And the moon.”

Lotor’s eyes perked up.

“The moon?”

“Yeah, the moon."

When Lotor nodded, still sniffling but a little smile working itself up, Keith began. "So… Once upon a time, there was five magical space lions-”

Lotor gasped a little. “Like Vol-twon?” He whispered, somewhat excited.

Keith winced. “Yeah, buddy. Like Voltron... So, once upon a time….”

* * *

  
Lotor snuck in most nights after that, somehow always finding a way. The nurses became used to scolding Keith for that behaviour, letting the kid get so attached. It’d only make it worse when either had to leave.

Most nights Keith would wake to the sound of screaming, long after Lotor had snuck in, cuddled and warm against Keith.

There was always shuffling and yelling out for help, for anyone.

It was always muffled, the child’s voice asking someone to stop, to help, _please._

It hurt Keith more than he let on that Lotor never once called out for his parents.

* * *

  
Lotor had basically made Keith’s room his own. Any time the nurses tried to get him to leave besides when he was already asleep, he’d have a meltdown, screaming, kicking, biting, the whole shebang. It hurt Keith’s head.

Today, without the nurses help, Lotor had had about four meltdowns, and it wasn’t even noon.

The first had been because he wanted more jello after finishing his own. Keith, still on a liquid diet, had nothing to offer.

The kid wailed, until Keith was able to calm him down.

The second time was when the nurse came in to change Keith’s bandages, and Lotor tried to fight them off, saying that they were hurting ‘Mr. Keef’. He began crying when Keith hissed as he was turned over, not liking to see the older man in pain. It took twenty minutes and a very pained nurse having to wait to attend the rest of her rounds. She was kind though.

The third was just because it was well past the kid’s nap time, but no one seemed to realize this fact until it was far too late. It’s not like a playing child is going to check the clock and say ‘oh! Time for a nap!’ and head to sleep. It doesn’t work quite like that.

They were luckily able to calm him down enough to fall alseep.

Now, Lotor was upset because his own bandages hurt.

It was just one of those days.

He tucked himself into Keith’s side, crying and punching the older man’s chest, which was just doing wonders to the tubes along Keith’s body.

“Lotor, c’mon Buddy. I just need you to relax. Please don’t hit there- Ow!- Shi- Ffffu-tha-that hurts.”

That set the kid off more, realizing he’d hurt his ‘hero’. He jumped off the bed immediately, sobbing and tucking himself into the far corner where there were some handmade toys and books, laid out in a perfect circle. Lotor hid himself completely underneath his blankie. Keith couldn’t see a hint of skin or (now thankfully) fully shaven hair.

Of course, this was the time when Keith’s first real visitor had come to see how he was doing. Arriving through the door, with a basket of freshly baked goods, had surprisingly been Hunk. Apparently he’d tried to come before hand, but no one (besides the needy, crying, and screaming toddler) had been allowed in ICU. How Lotor was allowed had apparently caused a stir in the hospital, but it had done wonders for both of them, so the Doctor somehow allowed it (or looked the other way, Keith was guessing).

According to Hunk, he’d seen what happened on the News, with Keith falling straight into the middle of the very important Garrison meeting. He was hurt and in need of medical aid with a bruised and burnt child in his arms, and a large, limping, and growling cosmic wolf, which half the world had been never seen before. Keith had never been the popular one on the team in the media’s eyes.

Thankfully.

The meeting had been recorded like it was cabinet meeting, live on all cable television and for every world to see. Apparently everyone thought from the ash covered bodies, it had been another alien invasion due to the suddenness and streak of blue that fell over the screens.

So… Good to know Keith almost started another war from fear and panic.

He had always known how to stir up a ruckus.

“It’s on the news?!”

“Oh yeah, CNN, Fox, BBC, CBC, every channel you can think of. All day and all night. Heck, you even made it on ESPN for a brief moment.”

“Great.”

Hunk smiled, trying to find a place to sit. He noticed with an increase to his brow that the one chair was currently used as a pseudo-bed, blankets and pillows and toys filling it up. It didn’t look comfy. So Hunk, unsure of what to do with his hands, continued standing.

“Krolia asked me to come check on you, by the way, since she couldn’t be here. Y’know, still working on the wormhole thing apparently and the Blades are too far out to have made it back in time. She’s coming, though. Soon.” Oh, Keith thought, sinking a little into his bed... If Mom hadn’t been able to make it, would Hunk have come at all?

Also why had Mom asked Hunk? Interesting choice. Maybe she knew he’d come with food. She did know how much Keith hated hospital food.

Keith groaned. “We have, like, eight wormhole activators here. We should just give one to the Blade.”

“Yeah good luck with that one. You know how the Garrison and the Holts feel about their valuable resources-”

“- _With all that invested time and money, they will stay on Earth_.” Keith and Hunk parroted together, laughing quietly.

“You look good, Keith. Better than what I expected, honestly.” Hunk said so genuine that Keith couldn’t help but look elsewhere, embarrassed. “It’s nice to see you.”

Keith cleared his throat. “Yeah, you too.”

“Your hair is even longer, too.” He made a face. "Somehow." Hunk pointed to the long raven locks, currently in a desperate need of a wash. It was getting oily. Keith hadn’t been doing anything with it, leaving it down and wild, since spending any time on himself or on moving was much too difficult. Lately, his energy was focused purely through his eyes, watching the kid. Trying to lift his arms to braid his hair just seemed-

Ooft.

Yeah. No. Too much exertion. It honestly hurt to think about.

Keith felt like his body weighed about the same as a metal ton.

“Yeah, eight months will do that to you.” Keith tried to laugh after an awkward moment of silence, but ended up making it into a cough when he noticed Hunk’s glare.

“Nine, actually.”

“Oh.”

Well then.

They heard a small cough from the corner of the room, still remaining in an attempted self-exile.

“Soooo…” Hunk began, moving from his toes to his heels. “Gunna tell me about the other pink elephant in the room that’s probably much easier to talk about then the fact that we haven’t heard from you at all since, y'know, running off? Cause I think that-” He pointed towards the hiding child, behind the blue blanket with ducks and fluffy bears, “would be an easier place to start.”

“Oh, uhh-” Touche and good point. Keith was in the hospital, he could continue using that as leverage against the other elephant so to speak.

For just a little longer.

Keith wondered briefly: should he tell the truth? Right away? To Hunk of all people? The big lug was never the best at keeping secrets, especially the big kind of secret… and could be kind of loud and judgmental….

Looking between Hunk and Lotor, he decided to play it cool. “He’s just the kid I saved. He won’t leave my room without a meltdown. Apparently only eats and sleeps and talks around me, so.” Keith shrugged coolly.

“Oh! So he’s become attached.” Hunk didn't make it sound like a good thing.

“You could say that.” Keith agreed. “Hey, buddy.” Keith called towards the sniffling blanket. “Wanna come out here and say ‘Hi’ to Hunk? He’s an old…” Keith looked at Hunk, unsure of how to describe him, especially so that a three year old could understand. Co-worker? Acquaintance? He doubted Lotor would understand that word. “Friend. An old friend from work. And he brought baking, lots of yummy food to eat.”

The blanket shuffled in interest at the mention of food.

“I promise, nothing is poisoned.” Hunk tried to joke. He turned to Keith as he tried to whisper between the two. “Does he speak English? How old is he? What is he? You saved him from Space, right? Also it’s a he? I’m assuming? You did say he but he’s an alien so like gender? It’s a construct I know but I mean-”

The kid peaked up from underneath the blanket, yellow eyes piercing and Hunk visibly gulped. “So, Galra-boy then.”

Using the blanket to shield his entire body besides his eyes, Lotor shuffled from the wall back over to Keith, lifting himself onto the mattress and hiding behind Keith’s body.

“Ohmygod that’s too cute. He’s like a little kitten! Snuggled right in.”

“Hunk.” Keith whined. “The kid isn’t like a kitten.”

Lotor’s eyes went from critical to fearful at Hunk's booming voice, trying tuck himself further into Keith. He hid his face into Keith's shoulder as Hunk grew closer. Keith hissed when Lotor pressed onwards, kneeing straight into his bandaged wounds on his back. His doctor and nurses would have a field day after this visit.

“What’s your name, kiddo?” Hunk asked gently, though slightly impatient and inattentive to the kid’s obvious fear.

Lotor looked at the suddenly and suspiciously paling Keith. Keith wasn’t sweating, was it hot in here? No. Maybe it was just him, but maybe also if they turned down the temperature a bit. Yeah. That’s it. Keith cleared his throat, fingering his collar and stretching it out.

Lotor looked confused as he moved his blanket to uncover his mouth, staring at Hunk intensely. When he moved the piece that covered his mouth, the bit of blanket over hit head fell too, showing off his white, shaved head.

“Low-toe….” He whispered, Hunk coming in closer with hands on his hips, smile large and warm as he listened to the kid speak. He hadn't quite gotten a good look yet, since the blanket fell.

“Low-toe? Your name is Low-toe?” Lotor nodded, pressing back into a very wide smiled Keith.

“Awwhh how cute, kind of sounds like Lo…” _Oh no_. “Torrr… Wait-” Hunk eyed Keith, than the kid, just to look back at Keith once again and then the kid. There it was. “Loooooooomygahd that’s Lo- Lolo- Lotow, Lotor, Lotor, Lotor?!!?! Ohmyggoddddd, Keith, buddy, pal, my buddy, dude, uhhh, Keith? Can we have a chat, man? For just a quick little second, y’know, Lotor-less, or something, cause I, uhhhh-” Hunk’s hands began fidgeting immensely. Keith was surprised Hunk hadn’t jumped from his boots he was shaking so badly.

“Hunk,” Keith exclaimed with his eyes rolling. Lotor remained panicked and hesitant from behind, due to Hunk’s sudden outburst, burrowing in and further digging into Keith’s crippled back. His hands latched onto Keith’s arm, the elder hissing through the nails being embedded into the skin. “You’re scaring the kid, Hunk.” He chastised, trying to remove any further wounds from his skin via Lotor’s fingertips. “Hand me a cookie, will you?”

Hunk did so, holding the tip of the cookie out to Keith like it was something dirty. Keith sighed as he took it, showing it Lotor as an offering.

“Do you know what a cookie is, Buddy?” Lotor looked at it with an ounce of confusion and complete awh. He shook his head.

“It’s a really yummy treat. Something you give yourself once in a while when you’ve been good.”

“Like Jello?” Lotor whispered into Keith’s shoulder.

Keith whispered back. “Better than Jello. Feel it, it’s still warm.”

Lotor reached out for it slowly, unwrapping himself further from his blanket of safety. He eyed Hunk once more, gaining a minuscule gasp and shuffling backwards from the older man, before grabbing the large, perfectly golden treat. He felt all around around it, fingers glossing over every perfect, melted chocolatey imperfection.

With a whiff, Lotor took a bite.

Hunk held his breath.

“Mmmmm!!” Lotor exclaimed, biting into the cookie again before swallowing.

“Ah, ah, ah. Chew first, remember?” Keith chided. Lotor pouted, cookie crumbs making a moustache around his mouth. Keith wiped them off with his own hand. But Lotor begrudgingly did as he was told, looking like he’d met God himself from how happy he was with the cookie.

When it was done, Lotor looked at his empty hands in surprise, then back up to Keith like it was Keith’s fault the cookie magically disappeared. After a quick moment of pure observation, he tapped his fingertips together, saying, “Moe? Moe?”

“He can’t really pronounce ‘R’s yet,” Keith explained, reaching for another cookie that Hunk had waiting, still leveraging it as far away as humanly possible from his own body.

Keith lifted a finger towards Lotor, holding him back with the cookie just out of perfect reach from the kid’s grabbing hands.

“One. You get one more, okay?”

“One.. moe cookie…” Lotor agreed, fingers clutching onto his own shirt, pouting.

It was half-hearted, but it was an agreement so Keith let it go.

“And what do we say, to Hunk, before eating it?” Keith began silently mouthing the words before realizing Lotor wasn’t getting it. “The magic word is…?” He tried again, Lotor immediately understanding.

Lotor turned to Hunk with a full gasp, little hands pressing against his chubby cheeks. “Oh! Tank you, Mr. Hun-ck.”

“Perfect, now go eat somewhere else. Your getting crumbs all over my bed.” Lotor squealed, hurting Keith’s ears, and pranced back to his little station in the corner of the room, showing his cookie to his opened books and circle of toys.

“It’s a coooo-keyy!” The child exclaimed exuberantly, over and over and over again.

Hunk shuffled closer to Keith, back pressed against the wall.

“Keith, uhhh, buddy, we need to talk. Asap.” He whispered.

“After.” Keith reached for his own baked good from the basket. He felt his stitches extend and winced at the shooting pain. His back was already dying, what was another stretch? He fell back against the cushioned pillows with some difficulty. “After this muffin.”

“No, no. I really think now would be-”

“Mmm, Hunk, you outdid yourself this time. The sugared icing on top is so perfect! It’s crumbly and browned… how’d you do it again.”

Not a question.

“Ahh well, y’know, just brown sugar, butter, mix it in a- hey! No getting off the subject, man. What the heck-” he pointed none to politely to Lotor, who noticed. “Is that?!”

“Hunk it’s rude to point. And ‘it’ is a boy, and ‘it’ has a name, which is Lotor. Let’s start with what we know.”

“But like, is that THE the Lotor? Like the one we fought? The one we know? His hair is white, I think? Is it shaven? It looks shaven. I think it’s shaven?”

“It’s shaven,” Keith said taking another bite.

“Besides the point. His skin is purple. He’s part-Galra, isn’t he?”

“He may be part-Galra.”

“Keith….”

“Hunk.”

“Keith.” This time was more of a warning. Keith sighed, putting the half eaten muffin down. Time to explain himself.

“When I found him, he was dying from this planet's venomous fumes. Since he’s part-Altean, it took more time to affect him, y’know? Kept him dying longer…”

“Mhmmm?” Hunk rolled his hands, asking Keith to hurry up and continue on.

“He was on a cliff side, up on a base of a tree, trying to get away from the ground. It was like sinking sand, but with lava. Kosmo could walk on top of it, but we couldn’t. He was burnt, swollen, and I think he had a run in with something wild. He had a bunch of scratches and bruising, specifically around his eyes. You can see how they’re still swollen.” Hunk looked, his own brown eyes beginning to fall in sympathy.

“When I saw him, he was just ash covered, bruised, bleeding and swollen. Couldn’t even tell the colour of his skin or hair.” Keith sighed again, looking towards Hunk, who’d yet to look him in the eyes.

“I didn’t know it was Lotor, Hunk. But even if I did, I couldn’t just let the kid die alone, could I? You saw how our Lotor ended… this one has a chance to do something great.”

"Doesn’t change the fact that his parents are psychos.”

“Only due to the rift. You know Zarkon and Honverva weren’t originally like that.”

“But still, he could-”

“He could. And he might. And he might not. Give the kid a chance before deciding his fate for him.” Keith took a deep breath, looking at Lotor laughing and playing with his handcrafted toys, obviously made quickly with socks, rice, and a hot glue gun.

“Hunk, I think they abandoned him, left him to die on purpose. He’d been out there for three days without food and water. He said it was ‘training…’, but I don’t know. Even for the Galra that’s… that’s a suicide mission.”

“He wasn’t just left to go train…” Hunk admitted, looking at the smiling kid, trying to eat as little cookie as possible to save it. He was pretending to feed it to his things, piece by piece before eating it himself. Every time each toy or book had a piece, Lotor would rub his belly and do a little pseudo dance, exclaiming ‘Mmmm!’ before moving onto the next individual toy or book. It wasn’t a dance, more of a body shake of excitement, Hunk figured.

“He’s a cute kid.”

"Yeah, smart too. You’re the first person besides me he’s spoken to…”

“Actually?”

“Well, besides the screaming meltdowns with the nurses when they try and get him to leave? Sure. But actual words? You’re the first.”

“Huh.” Hunk smiled, watching Lotor play. He moved slowly towards the other, like Lotor was a deer caught in the headlights.

Hunk approached the boy, and when didn’t move away in fear, Hunk put out his hand, right palm open.

“Hello, Lotor. I’m Hunk.”

Lotor blinked, looking wide eyed towards Keith, mouthing as much as a toddler could, ‘what-do-I-do?’

Keith lifted both his palms, mimicking a handshake. Lotor looked at the gesture oddly, but grabbed both of Hunk’s and shook them vivaciously. Keith died laughing. Lotor did too.

Hunk just spluttered.

Even if Hunk wasn’t supposed to come, wouldn’t have come without Krolia’s asking- Keith was glad he did.

“So… what are you going to do with him?” Hunk called out, Lotor still swinging his arms.

That- well. Keith was already having thoughts.

And he was honestly a little scared of what they meant.

* * *

  
"Keef?” Lotor began one day, playing with a newly made toy bunny sock of rice, by Lotor himself. (Lotor was in awe with rice, and loved the feeling of it… he especially loved to throw it everywhere, much to the nurses joy).

“Yeah, Lotor?” Keith questioned, trying to nap. The back pain was immense today, every movement feeling more painful than the last. Maybe it was the rain, it was a downpour today. Lotor had been upset since he couldn’t see the moon the night before, during bedtime.

He always liked to wish it good night.

“Who is She-wo?”

Keith wasn’t sure, but he knew the world loved to fuck with him so. Why not. Who else could it possibly be?

“You mean Shiro?” He sighed, eyes hurting as he tried to open them. His head pounded against the movement.

“Mhmm.” Lotor nodded, quiet. He was typically really good whenever Keith was napping, instead keeping to himself and playing with hushed sounds.

“Shiro’s like… Hunk. An old work friend. Why?” Keith listened to his body, letting his eyes fall shut again. Maybe his meds needed to be increased.

“Cause he keeps twying to visit. He said that Kwo- Ko- Ko-lee-ah?”

“Krolia.”

“Mmm. Yah. Kwolia sent him, but you were always ass-leep, so he sent Mr. Hun-ck. She-wo’s been here a lot... He looks sad.”

Shiro had been here? More than once? To visit Keith?

“Next time, can I pay with She-wo too? Like Mr. Hun-ck? She-wo seems fun. He was nice to me...”

“Sure, buddy… anything you want.”

Shiro? That’s odd… Maybe it was just the drugs, and this entire conversation had been a dream.

Lotor smiled, and went back to quietly playing with his toys. Keith was fast asleep anyways. He could ask more questions later.

* * *

  
“You’re very good with him.” It was Lotor’s social worker, ironically one of the ones Keith himself broke in at the beginning of her career. She looked much more hardened now than she ever had with him, back in the days when she once held onto hope.

Years in the business will do that to people.

She held a large folder against her chest, against her perfect blue blazer and black, pencil skirt. Her hair was in such a tight knot, it was a wonder how her hairline still existed.

“Mmm.” Keith was to be let out in within the next week. Lotor wasn’t quite healed, and still hadn’t found a place to go, but was only a few days away from being released himself. So the question came up: what was going to happen to the abandoned trans-dimensional child? Keith was almost concerned the Garrison wanted to get their hands on him: a Part-Galra from another dimension? The scientific experiments they could undergo… Keith shivered at the prospects.

The hospital assigned a social worker, immediately sending her on visits to orphanages around the area for open availability, and back to Keith specifically. They said he’d been the one to find him, after all, so for now? He was the pseudo guardian of the kid, in a way.

“Once he’s out of here, we’ll be taking him over to the home you stayed at for the meantime. If he wishes, he’ll come for visiting hours and visiting hours only.”

Keith tilted his chin towards her. He’d been watching CNN, knowing how his little drop in on the live meeting with the child was making headlines. It was a creation of a novel case for courts and social workers, an excitement of how to proceed in these unlikely but now possible circumstances.

“What’s going to happen to him… after he’s better?” Keith was almost scared to ask the question.

She hummed, lifting the blanket over the sleeping kid’s shoulders. He was curled on the side of Keith’s bed, sleeping away. “The government and Galaxy Garrison are unsure of what to do with a nameless abuse victim from another reality. But him being here hasn’t brought on the destruction of our timeline, nor do your friends the Holts believe it will. So, it seems as though the government will allow him to stay.”

“And he still hasn’t given you names of his parents?"

“He hasn’t spoken to anyone but you, Mr. Kogane. You know that.” She hummed, but there was an underlying harshness there, one trying to cover up with faked authenticity. Keith reached to hold Lotor’s hand, noticing him beginning to twitch.

The signs of an oncoming nightmare, it seemed.

She noticed it too, as Lotor began to immediately settle under Keith's touch.

“You’ve made quite the appearance on the little guy.”

“Tend to have that affect on people you save.”

“I guess…”

“Listen-”

“You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” She interrupted. Her gaze was harsh, stern. Knowing and all encompassing.

Keith mirrored the image back.

“Yes.”

“Well. Let’s look at the specifics.” She began walking around his bed, opening the folder. Her slightly heeled shoes clunked loudly against the flooring.

Lotor stirred.

“Single-parent household. You have enough funds from saving the world but you haven’t retired from the Blade of Marmora, according to the Paladins of old.”

“You’ve spoken to them?” Keith spoke up, interrupting. He moved forward in his seat, needing to know.

“Interviewed anyone I could.”

“So they know?”

“No. Simply said you were in the Hospital, needed information upon release since no one came to visit and you were still too hurt to respond. Lies, purely, but only Katie Holt and Captain Shirogane.’ Keith winced at the use of the old name, “seemed to take notice.”

“What about a patient non-disclosure agreement? This is going completely against the book-”

“Just as you always have, Mr. Kogane. Ever seen a visitor in ICU? Let alone a shaking toddler? Nightly? Me neither. Your case isn’t normal, and neither is his. Quite high profile actually. And people are scared. So. I looked into it. It’s obvious there’s-” she gestured between the two, “something there. However, the Garrison wants him to live at the facility, and the Supreme Courts are unsure.”

Keith stared at her, glare as cruel as the day they first met, eyes burning with fire. “Don’t I have a choice? I found him, this is unfair and unusual, and I for one-”

She raised a palm, forcing Keith back to the days of his old foster homes, stomping and crying as they shut the door behind him on the doorsteps. They tossed him out like a piece of trash, when he had been so sure this time would be different. He’d been good. Why? What did he do to deserve it? Nanette was always there, waiting, tall and looming and raising a palm, effectively shutting him up as she brought him back to the place he loathed so much.

“Be nice to me, Mr. Kogane. I’m on your side. And though I may have seen more than I ever care to admit after Sendak landed, I do want to help you. I’m not a cruel person, and I do not wish to try and take him away. But adjustments would need to be made. So.” She dropped the folders onto Keith’s lap, somehow not rising the sleeping boy beside him.

“Make your war efforts and humanitarian work into a part time position for now. Finding a suitable partner would be great but that’s probably out of the question.” Keith scoffed. “And find a better place to live than that shack. Make plans, and then we can talk about writing on the dotted lines.”

“What’s wrong with where I live?”

“Please, Mr. Kogane. That wolf of yours can barely fit in that room you call a home. A single sofa? No kitchen? It’s a Garrison outpost now, not a home. No matter how much you try to hold onto it as such.” So she’d already investigated the area… “Also, the hospital really doesn’t want to release you if _that’s_ where you’ll be recovering.”

Keith grabbed at the folders, flipping through them all. It was all the up-to-date transcripts about Lotor’s ongoing custody battle, where he would go, between the courts, Garrison, and hospital. When had this all been happening?

“If I- we stay at hotel, or the Blades headquarters, while I look into buying a suitable home... If plans were to be made, and there was enough room, and I limited time with the Blade work wise, I could sign for adoption? As long as the long-term goal was to be spent on Earth?”

“Yes, that’s the agreement everyone has come to, if you do as well. However, maybe look elsewhere for recovery purposes, the Blades have been attacked twice this week by rebellion bases. The hotel may be a more suitable option. Or you have friends, Takashi Shirogane-”

Keith drifted out of the conversation, flitting through the papers. So the Blades had been attacked. Maybe that’s why Mom hadn’t come to visit, yet…

“Mr. Kogane.” She called, forcing Keith out of his temporary reverie. “Being a saviour of the Universe has unique benefits, to certain individuals." She had a look on her face, like on of regret almost. "This is one of them, and you have friends in high places.”

“Like you.”

She nodded. “Like me. And the staff here. They’ve helped out too, immensely. But after speaking with them and dealing with his separation anxiety induced tantrums from being away from you, which is unhealthy and I recommend a psychologist-”

“You recommend a psychologist for everyone-”

"Not everyone, you just needed it.”

“... Thanks.” He replied, a little irate.

“I believed it would be best, and just in case you thought the same, I put in your applications and got them approved. Just follow what I say: get a better house, a better, maybe more local and preferably stable job, and if he wants, he’s permanently under your care."

“Thank you, Nanette. I mean it.” Keith held onto the folders tightly. He could never misplace a single one.

“I do want what’s best for people, Mr. Kogane, even if it means my job is on the line with this case… Though you’ve never been much for rules anyways, so I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

“No, no I wouldn’t-”

“But if you wanted to set me up for a date with that Doctor of yours, I’d accept that the compensation.” She laughed, yellow tinged teeth showing.

"Nanette, he’s like 35.”

“And I’m 58, Keith. I’m getting too old to not appreciate this world’s true blessings.”

Keith laughed, he couldn’t help it.

Things seemed to be working out for him for once.

* * *

  
When Keith was allowed to walk out of bed on his own initiative, without a nurses help, Keith headed straight to wherever a phone was.

Which was of course at the receptionist office on his floor. Luckily it wasn’t too faraway, but it was still embarrassing knowing he’d be overheard.

So Keith dialed the only person he knew had a fuck ton of space, and was good with children and wasn’t Shiro… wait- he still had his wolf...

Shit. Right. Grand. Anyways back to the point at hand.

Phone Lance. Ask if they had have space on Altea until his recovery was over, then they could peace out, look for another home to buy. There was also enough room for Kosmo for the time being on Altea, which great. Perfect. Fantastic.

Keith wasn’t freaking out. Not at all. The facetime barely picked up with Lance yawning out an exhausted ‘ _Hello_?’ before Keith breathed out in one full sentence,“SoImayhavedonesomethingindreciblystupid.”

“ _Wha- Keith?! Is that you?!_ ” Lance pulled himself closer to the phone. Keith could only see his right eye and a single nostril. “ _You- it’s been nine months! You just left! And then you appeared in the news?! You just fell, with a kid, like, like_ ,” Lance made some sort of noise that didn’t translate well. “ _Outta thin air! What do you have to say for yourself?!_ ”

Keith’s heart was beating too fast, and he didn’t want to be put back on bed rest for something so trivial.

“I may have done something stupid.”

Lance sighed loudly. Keith could see him pinching between his brows, eyes closed. “ _And this is new_?” He dragged his words slowly.

“I need somewhere safe to stay during my six weeks of recovery and the Blades are being attacked.”

" _O_ _h_ -”

“And I may be adopting a child.”

“ _Oh?!_ ”

“It’s the kid I accidentally saved from the other reality.”

“ _Oh!_ ”

“And it may be possible the kid is Lotor.’”

This time Lance stopped in the midst of his newest ‘ _Oh_ ’, needing a full fledged minute to recuperate before shouting, “ _H-how in the goddamn hell-_ ” He stopped himself to take another breath of air. “ _How the fuck is that a ‘_ may be possible _’ situation_?! ”

“Well, he kinda said you know who were his parents, but his speech is bad so I may have misinterpreted and they could really be anyone?”

“ _Okay, besides_ that _point, any other glaringly obvious reasons why this might be Lotor?_ ” Lance whispered harshly into the phone.

“He’s part Galra, he’s purple, has white hair, knows about Voltron and the lions, and he said his name is Lotor.”

“ _..._ ”

“But also it sounded more like ‘Low-toe’ cause’ the kid still can’t pronounce his ‘R’s so it’s anyone’s guess, really.”

Lance facepalmed.

* * *

   
Really, the home should have realized that forcing Lotor away from Keith would be a terrible idea. The day Lotor was to be sent from the Hospital to the Orphanage, that Keith used to oh-so-lovingly reside at, was a bad day, with bad ideas all around.

A horrible, heinous, stupid idea, that involved a lot of biting, kicking, crying and screaming.

As such, the kid was currently kicking and screaming his way through the doors, and Keith could barely look. Lotor was being shoved down the hall with three sisters latched onto him, nurses and doctors surrounding them. He was frantic. He was scared, frightened, and he needed to breath.

Keith was so concerned, and he wanted to cry too. Seeing the kid being wretched away with the sisters...

Their grips, so tight on his little, just healed wrists, he’d bruise… just like the way Keith used to bruise.

‘No! No! No! No! I don’t wanna! I don wanna! Keef! Keef! You pwomised! You pwomised!!!” Lotor was in hysterics and he wasn’t even down the hallway yet, snot and tears running down his face.

Keith was watching through the openings of his fingertips, eyes and mouth covered with his hands. He was still in his hospital gown, trying to breath as well.

Listen to his own advice he was trying to send out to Lotor.

His nurse was beside him, shushing him, telling him Lotor would be fine, he’d be back the next afternoon for visiting hours.

And… and Keith couldn’t.

He couldn’t let this happen.

“I can sign myself out anytime, right?” Keith said through a pained gasp, still hiding his face.

“I’m sorry?”

“I can sign myself out. Right? I’m over twenty-five, I’m no longer in ICU, and I only have a week left, right? I can sign myself out?”

“What? Keith, you’re not healed-”

“That’s fine. Uhh, just send me the bill, you have my information. I gotta-” he pointed, breathing hard towards the area where the child’s screams could still be heard.

“I gotta go.” He ripped the remaining IV’s from his arm and took off, blood trickling down his skin.

“Keith!”

Keith ran down the hall, still in his horrible, stinky, hospital robes. His hair was all over the place, either sticking to his sweating skin, or flying everywhere as he ran as quickly as possible with bare feet down the cold stairwell

He followed the screams down to the first floor. He was panting, tired and exhausted. He’d lost too much energy and weight from being on bed rest.

He stopped when he ran outside, impressed to find Nanette standing there, the nuns directly behind. His own luggage was in Nanette's hand.

... What?

“Took you long enough.” She said, Lotor sniffling as he watched between the two. “You pwomised.” He whispered with a pout, heartbroken. “You pwomised.”

“I’m sorry, Lotor. I did. I know I did, but-” He turned to Nanette. “Wait, what?” Keith breathed.

“I needed to know that this is what you wanted. It killed you, didn’t it, hearing him like that?”

Keith panted, holding onto his chest. He fell onto his shaking knees, no longer able to hold himself up.

Nanette let the kid go, Lotor running into him, hugging him tightly.

Keith nodded as best he could with Lotor nuzzling into his neck.

“Just like it has for me all these years.” She stepped forward in her high heeled shoes, handing him the folders over. It was his own release forms.

“Sign there and you’re free to go.”

“But- the house-”

“You’re staying with Lance McClain on Altea until you’re better. The phone’s are all wired, nice try by the way. You’ll find a house and report back to me in sixty-one days. However, in the meantime,”

She handed him a larger file- the one from earlier. Lotor’s file. “The courts and the Garrison accept the temporary terms of you staying on Altea with the child in your custody, while you recover and find a better home. Sign the dotted lines, Mr. Kogane. And he’s yours under the circumstances.”

Keith blinked, pressing Lotor more into himself.

“Lotor?” He whispered quickly. They hadn’t really had this discussion yet. Keith hadn’t really thought of it as a viable option.

He was shocked by how quickly it was all going.

Perhaps being an alien toddler from another dimension was too novel a case to go through the courts slowly, with so much fear from the public surrounding it, or maybe it just had more leeway.

Either way, Keith wasn’t questioning it.

“Lotor, buddy, look at me for a minute?”

Lotor pulled back, wiping his eyes with his now stolen hospital blankie.

“Would you like to live with me?”

Lotor sniffed. “Wike… Fo-eva?”

“Forever, as long as you want. Yes.”

“Well, yah, but…” He looked between the two adults. “Did you not want me?” He whispered.

“What? Lotor, of course- it’s just. This is a big decision. One you get a choice to decide, too. You have a say here." Keith eye's were frantic as they searched Lotor's face.

"Do you want to live with me?” He whispered.

Lotor hiccuped, holding back the tears that were wanting to fall. “Will we still wead books about moon? An-and pay games? And will you still wead me stowies?” Lotor was obviously tired and panicked, Keith noticed sadly. His language always decreased when this happened. 

“Every night.” Keith promised. “And I’d make you meals, too. And we’d play with Kosmo. I’d make sure you’re okay… And happy.”

“You won’t…” Lotor stuttered over his words, looking like he was definitely going to cry again. “You won’t make me twain, will you? Leave me alone and twain again?" Lotor sniffed away the snot that was starting to fall, brushing it off with his arm. "I don’t wanna be alone anymoe.”

“No, no, never. I’d never make you do that, Lotor. Okay?”

“Pwomise you won’t go?”

“I promise.”

Lotor smiled so widely, more so then Keith had ever seen. The entirety of the kid’s face lit, his smile so wide it took up most of his face, scrunching his eyes. Keith was suddenly trampled with thirty-two pounds of child on top of him.

A pen slipped into Keith’s hand, and he quickly wrote out all the signatures while on the ground, unable to move with the kid on top of him.

Looking up, Nanette was smiling.

“Congratulations, Keith. You’ve adopted your son.”

That’s it.

Keith was a father.

  
  
_“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”_  
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, so I know that isn't adoption works, but, meh. It's how it happened here. See yah next week!


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter, less painful chapter today, Keith goes to pick up Kosmo. I hope you enjoy!!

_"You only need one ray of light to chase all the shadows away,"  
_Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove

 

So, the unimaginable has happened.

Keith has been forced to return to Earth long-term, which, he said he’d never do again, and was basically forced (but honestly not at all) to adopt a toddler. A very needy, handsy, loud toddler who just happened to be the heir of Daibazaal from another Universe….

For some reason to Keith, the first of those things seemed the most unimaginable..

Actually hold up, whatever is currently happening is the most unimaginable thing Keith could think up.

They were permitted through a large brass gate, entering the Shirogane acreage. And man, did they have acreage.

The house, which took another five minute drive through completely unnatural gardens and large trees brimming the dirt drive, is… well, yeah, that’s a damned nice house. Keith had never imagined Shiro in a mansion, but fuck. That was a mansion, complete with some fancy ass white columns lining the three story, colonial house.

Acreage? Brass gate? The trees, the gardens, were those maids cleaning the front yard?! The greco-roman columns?!

What, had Shiro become Miss Scarlett O’Hara all of a sudden?! Jesus Christ.

Lotor’s hands were dirtying the Garrison’s vehicle as he pointed to everything he saw.

“Keef! What’s that! Wha’ts that coloe??? Keef? Keef! Wow!”

Keith tried to keep the child calm as they parked in front.

Shiro was on the patio, patiently waiting. Nanette and Lance had apparently gotten a hold of the other, telling Shiro to have Kosmo ready so as to help speed up the process of letting Keith get to Altea and rest.

Keith had to sigh, looking out of the car. His body had taken a hit, and every move felt difficult. Just looking at the door handle seemed like a lot of effort. He’d lost a lot of muscle mass, and Keith was already excited to exercise and get back to a routine which included getting out a hospital bed every day.

Keith was so sick of hospitals.

Keith had asked Lotor to stay behind in the car, stating it was completely adult business, and it’d be quick. The little boy listened, falling back onto the leather seats, playing with the tips of his blankie.

Shiro stood, tall and proud on his patio. His glasses were off, stubble and all, and Keith had to force down the welling that began to stir in his chest.

Shiro kindly ran up to the vehicle, opening the door before Keith could even reach the handle. It swung open and Keith tensed for two reasons:

1) Shiro stood outside of the door, smiling and offering his human hand to help the injured Keith out of the vehicle. Keith swallowed, and

2) Was because of the loud squeal emitted from the tiny child behind him.

“She-wo!” The boy screeched.

Oh yeah. So apparently not a dream then.

They’ve met.

Shit.

“Hey, kiddo, how’re you?” As Lotor went off on a rant that no one understood in the backseat, Shiro turned to Keith, still smiling.

“Hi.” Shiro whispered with a sad wave.

Damn. Fuck. Feelings still there.

Alright, Keith could do this.

Maybe animosity was the best way to get through this, rather than acceptance. Maybe eventually the feelings would just… melt away? That’s how it works, right?

Rolling his eyes with a heft ton of theatrics that would have even Lance shaking, he let Shiro help him out of the vehicle. Landing with a trip from the uneven terrain, Shiro held onto him from his bare arms, keeping him upright. “How are you feeling? The hospital gave me the run down.” Shiro said, voice low and filled with concern.

Keith breathed. His hands. Were on. Shiro’s. Chest.

And it was still big and doing wonders for Keith’s less drugged brain.

He immediately pushed himself away, feeling the strength of Shiro's... well, pecs.. possibly nipples, underneath his fingertips, whamming his back into the cars closed door. “ Good.” Keith winced. He rubbed his shoulders instead, trying to keep up appearances. Keith could totally continue to pretend to be suave, here. No feelings at all. Just gotta believe it. Keith cracked his neck. “Thanks. Where’s Kosmo.”

Shiro furrowed his eyebrows but followed along. He wasn’t about to push at Keith’s buttons. He knew better after the past few years of silence.

So, Shiro turned to the backdoor instead, ignoring Keith’s question. He opened it with jolly smile, waving to Lotor.

“Hey, Lotor.” Shiro said and Keith spluttered. He almost tripped over his own feet had the car not been pressed against his now aching back.

“You know his name, too?!”

Shiro hummed, helping Lotor out of his seat. “Not exactly a secret, is it? It’s obvious-”

“She-wo! She-wo! Is this yo home?! It's so pwetty! And big! And the dwive! I saw so many things! I did not know a lot! But- but, Keef! Keef told them to me! Earth is so pwetty!”

Lotor turned to Keith excitedly. “Keef! Does this mean I can pway with Mr. She-wo now!?”

Keith shook his head. “Not this time, buddy.” Keith needed a shower, and painkillers, seeing as though he’d been sent straight from the hospital to Shiro’s place.

Keith had to even change in the car, the driver having taken precarious, near wanting looks his way that Keith just scoffed at.

Keith moved forward, grabbing Lotor’s hand and holding him close. Keith looked around at the acreage as the kid continued to ask Shiro a thousand questions at once. Shiro was having obvious trouble keeping up.

Keith’s eyes almost jumped from his sockets when he noticed the pool near the tennis court (when the hell did Shiro ever play tennis?), noticing two boys clad in only swim shorts, laughing as they cleaned the pool’s top with nets.

“You have pool boys?!” Keith screeched.

This was unbelievable.

Did Keith land in another universe? He knew for a fact that he hadn’t, but that seemed like the most plausible outcome.

“Only when we need it.” Shiro said, in between answering some of Lotor’s questions. Shiro bent down, a little stiffly on his knees, to be at the same level as the kid. Shiro was always good at being a patient, whole-hearted listener. He gave the other his full, undivided attention, making the world collapse, so it was only Shiro and the other person.

It's why Keith had come to hold such an appreciation for the older man.

When Lotor quieted down, Keith continued his own questions, not wanting to interrupt.

“And how often is that?”

Shiro caught on quickly. “About twice a week.”

Keith was miffed.

“Where’s Kosmo?” Keith tried again.

“In a rush?” Shiro questioned.

“Kind of. I’d like to shower.”

Shiro looked up up and down, noticing that Keith’s long hair didn’t look a tad greasy. “Have hospital smell all over me…” Keith rolled his eyes. “Also have to take my medication soon and I’d rather be on Altea than here.”

Shiro stood back up, wiping off the dirt from his most-likely-Armani-pants. “Ahh. There we go. What are you taking?”

“Well they weaned me off of the the morphine, so just on oxies right now.” Keith said, turning and looking back to Shiro.

“Odd.” Was all Shiro said.

Odd indeed.

“Something to do with me being a part-Galra, I guess? And being able to take such drastic changes of medication? Or maybe it's the reason why I have to go from morphine to oxies...”

Shiro shrugged noncommittally, looking back down as Lotor pulled at his shirt, asking Mr. She-wo another question.

He hated this. He hated playing mean. Keith knew, on some level, that Shiro had his reasons, and there’s things Keith knew he could never bring up.

Shiro couldn’t and wouldn’t talk.

He just wished he had the guts to move on and finally be happy for him…

“They said I can hopefully transfer over to just T3s soon, pain depending.”

Shiro didn’t seem surprised. Keith said as much and Shiro shrugged. “It looked bad, Keith, when you fell during the meeting. I won’t lie. Kosmo was the best out of you three. It was almost worse than after Luca…”

That's-

That wasn’t good then. “Where is he?” Keith asked, swallowing hard.

Shiro nodded back towards the mansion. “He’s out back. C’mon, we can go grab him.”

They followed Shiro through the mansions ten ft entrance- “Twelve, actually.”

“Size matters to you, then.” Keith remarked snidely, and Shiro gave a small chuckle. “Never. Maybe to Curtis though… Likes to keep up appearances.”

Okay. There was the name. Keith’s breath stuttered. He could do this. He could try and not to be a dick. Shiro did take care of Kosmo after all.

“Uhh, where is he? C-curtis?” Keith’s voice cracked over the name, and Keith winced.

Shiro stopped in his tracks, blinking back towards Keith, who folded in on himself with a fake cough, pointing to his back. “Sorry, pain. How’s uh- Where’s Curt...is…?"

This was just shameful.

“Oh- he’s. Out." Shiro cleared his throat, turning his back towards Keith as they continued to walk. "Has another mission.”

“Is that normal?”

“You could say so, yeah.”

Lotor, completely and unequivocally oblivious to everything that was happening between the adults, thank god, was just astonished by anything and everything. He was pulling on Keith’s arm, tugging him in every direction he could. “Look! Keef! She-wo, what's that? Ohh- or that?! She-wo! Keef! Keef?!"

“You can let him go. Everything is harmless, and the stairways are blocked off. So he’ll just be stuck on the main floor.”

Keith didn’t believe this for a second. “What about breakables?”

“We live in earthquake territory, Keith. Everything is secured. Trust me.”

“And we’ll be able to find him again in this maze?”

At that moment, Lotor screamed happily, looking into a room with shelves upon shelves of books. It was the library, which the two husbands also used as an office. The windowed doors were locked shut, and Lotor huffed with a pout, unable to get in as he tugged on them forcefully. They shook the walls.

“Yeah I think we won’t have a problem finding him.” Shiro laughed. “But, if you want, I can stay with him, or go grab Kosmo. Whatever works? You guys do need to go soon. And I think Lotor wants to run around.” By the pull of the screeching child on Keith’s arm, he definitely did. So Keith let go, kneeling down in front of Lotor.

“Okay,” Keith sighed. “I’m going to go grab Kosmo out back. My wolf, remember?"

Lotor was jittering in his place, wanting to run around and look at everything. Touch everything. Understand and experience what they feel like underneath his hands. “Can I come?! Outside?! I wanna see Kossmooo!”

“Not this time, sorry, Buddy." Keith bent down to be at Lotor's level, patting his head. "But we need to be quick. I need to take the pills to help my pain.”

Lotor suddenly settled in his place. “The pills that make you sweepy?” Lotor asked. He looked over Keith, checking for signs of pain. Keith was incredibly thankful for how intuitive the kid was.

Keith nodded.

“So, how about Shiro looks after you, and I’ll go grab the wolf, and then we’ll leave. And then you can play on Altea! There’ll be so much space to play, you won't even know where to begin! Okay? You just have to wait a little longer.”

Lotor sighed, making his way towards Shiro, reaching for his hand. “Okay. But be fass-t You need yah pills.”

“You’ll be good for Shiro?”

Lotor nodded calmly. “Yup. I’ll be good fo She-wo!” he exclaimed.

“Okay.” Keith sighed, pausing. “Okay…”

“The backdoor is just just down the hall, down the stairs, turn left, then a right, enter through the door, down the hall and it’ll be right there. That’s where Kosmo is.”

Uhuh.

Damned maze.

“What, you don’t have balcony from your main floor?”

“Not with stairs big enough for Kosmo. And he refuses to teleport for me.”

“And there’s no way to just... Go around the house?”

“It’s the quickest way, trust me.” Shiro offered sheepishly.

“Damn it.” Keith bit at his lip. “Fine.” He pulled himself upwards, batting away Shiro’s shooting arm to help him, the concerned look that came with it…

“I’m fine.” He said with a wince. Keith turned back to Lotor. “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay!”

As Keith turned down the hallway retracing the directions Shiro gave him, he gave a thought.

That was the easiest time he’d ever had leaving Lotor.

Huh.

* * *

  
Grabbing Kosmo happened to be more difficult than it appeared. The door outside led straight into Kosmo’s makeshift pen. The silver gate surrounded the area underneath the porch, and was large enough for Kosmo to run around and play in. Keith noticed the large bowl of water, the bone, a toy, and even a little dog house with his name attached. Keith smiled.

It was sweet.

What wasn’t sweet, however, was the fact that Kosmo was nowhere to be seen.

So that was great.

Pain spiking, Keith closed the door and moved further into the pen. “Kosmo!” Keith called. He heard people running around upstairs, could hear Lotor’s distanced laughter.

Keith tried again, cupping his hands over his mouth. “Koossmooo!”

He went up to the gate of the pen, opening it to the entire back yard.

In the far, far distance, he saw a large tuft of blue chasing something around a pond, ducking into a bush

This time, Keith screamed as loud as he could, which apparently from the yell and immediate splash of the pool, he scared one of the pool boys into accidentally falling in.

Whoops.

Oh well.

He saw Kosmo stop in his tracks, half hidden behind the fluffy, green bush. His ears perked up, and with a sudden smoke of light, Kosmo disappeared, only for-

Keith was pushed, face straight into the ground, a large weight landing directly on top of him. Keith flew downwards, hitting the ground hard.

-And he was on top of Keith.

Licking his face.

Keith would usually love this.

But his back.

Damn that was painful.

“Kosmo! Kosmo!” Keith couldn’t help but giggle. He was kicking his legs out, trying to get a grip from under the wolf who suddenly wanted to be a lap dog. Kosmo’s tail was flapping everywhere, ears tucked back, and whining loudly as he surrounded Keith, taking in his scent and licking him every place he could.

“I’m okay, boy, I’m okay. But I have a surprise for you. So you need to get off me!”

Kosmo perked up, sitting back on his hind legs, begging. “No. It’s not food.” Kosmo whined, ears dropping.

“Remember the kid we saved?” Kosmo nodded, wagging his tail with a pant. Keith turned onto his back, leaning onto his elbows. The stretch was not the most accommodating, nor were the rocks squishing themselves to become one with his back bandages.  “He’s going to live with us. You’ll have another playmate.”

Kosmo panted happily. Well, as happily as a cosmic wolf could about something that wasn’t food. His tail began wagging joyfully again, and Kosmo pranced forward, nudging at Keith’s face gently. He nosed at Keith’s neck, making a noise of content as he relaxed into the area. 

“I’ve missed you too, Kosmo.” Keith said, latching onto the Keith’s fur, holding him close. They curled around each other as they hugged.

* * *

  
As to not strain more of Keith’s exhausted and pained body parts, Kosmo teleported them straight back into the living room. Shiro was holding Lotor on top of the leather sectional, pointing to things and explaining as they looked out the glass wall.

Even being a colonial styled house from the front, the house itself, Keith thought, was cold.

Modern-styled, in side, metal, concrete, with all the up to date technology, high ceilings, and kitchen area with a perfectly cleared island. But, the walls inside were bare, tones of greys and shades, and the walls of the backside of the house were all glass.

It looked like a strange mix of history and future blending together, and it wasn’t working doing so well. Honestly, Keith felt like he was back at the Garrisons inspection facility with how cold it seemed.

This wasn’t a home.

Keith just wondered if Shiro shared the same thoughts.

Shiro noticed the two behind them, helping Lotor who had yet to look away from the window.

Shiro patted Lotor’s back. “Hey, kiddo, Keith is back. With Kosmo. Wanna say hi?”

From the reflection of the window, Keith saw the exact moment Lotor noticed Kosmo.

The kid screamed.

So loudly.

Keith almost covered his ears.

Shiro did.

They needed to work on that.

Lotor flung himself from Shiro’s grasp and shimmied off the couch, running straight for the space wolf.

He was making grabby hands at his side, wanting to pet the fur, but he still approached with caution, looking between Kosmo and Keith carefully.

“Is it… is it okay to pet?” He asked Keith, who smiled. Keith scratched behind Kosmo’s ear. “Why don’t you ask him? He understands.”

Lotor gasped, shimming forward, closer to the wolf.

“Mr… Mr. Kosmo, can I pet you?” Lotor asked, reaching out an opened palm. Kosmo moved forward over Keith’s shoulder, sniffling the kid’s hand. Lotor began to laugh quietly, apparently ticklish on his palm.

Suddenly Kosmo opened his mouth, and Keith was scared for an entire second before realizing Kosmo was licking at Lotor’s arm gently. Lotor continued to laugh at the foreign feeling, and Kosmo grew more bold, nudging his muzzle against the kids chest. He eyes were probably about the size of Lotor’s head.

“Just be gentle,” Keith whispered, unsure exactly who he was speaking to.

Lotor nodded, never taking his eyes away from Kosmo. He held up both hands, smacking them into Kosmo’s fur.

Kosmo rumbled as Lotor felt around his neck, cuddling into the puffy fur.

“I luff him!” Lotor exclaimed into Kosmo’s neck, muffling his words.

Blue bits of energy began to appear, and Keith was about to reach out, starting to yell ‘Kos-’ when Kosmo and Lotor disappeared.

“Mo!... Uh-”

Shiro was smiling, hiding his laughter behind a raised hand. He pointed directly at Keith.

or, past Keith, it seemed.

Keith blinked, turning towards the front door.

Lotor was on top of the wolf at the entrance of the mansion, Kosmo literally trotting in circles, very exuberantly and obviously putting on a show.

Lotor shrieked happily as he held on, Keith silently hoping he was being gentle.

“I luff him!” Lotor yelled and Kosmo yipped.

Well, that for one was the best introduction so far.

“So you know who he is?” Keith asked, still looking towards the happy kid riding the wolf.

He felt Shiro’s presence behind him, walking close.

“I do.”

“How?”

“You fell directly in front of me, Keith.” Shiro said.

Keith whipped around. “You were at the Garrison meeting?" Shiro only shrugged.

"Why? You haven’t worked there for years.” Unless he picked it up again, which could be plausible.

Shiro shook his head. “No, but they were discussing future missions, and needed information about Voltron specifically...”

Shiro’s eyes shifted then, and Keith felt himself tense. No news was good news, and Keith felt afraid to ask.

“What is it?” The pain was heating up, and Keith crossed his arms, leaning against a counter top.

With a sigh, Shiro stated, “they want to try and find the lions, Keith."

Keith huffed. “They’re with Allura, now.”

“That’s what me and Pidge said. But we were the only ones at the meeting, so we didn't have much authority.”

Figures. But Keith never had the offer, and he doubted Lance would step foot in one of those meetings, knowing what it was about.

It would just cause him more heartbreak.

And the poor guy had dealt with enough.

“I carried him to the hospital, but he woke up, begging me not to let you out of his sight... I got attached, I guess, and started visiting.”

“After or before Krolia asked you to?”

Shiro looked away. “Before.” He said, sound low. “I was worried… At first he didn’t talk to me at all. Until he started staying with you. That’s when Krolia contacted me, Keith.”

“Ahh. He said you’d always come by when I was asleep…." Keith shifted in his place, self-conscious. "Was that planned?”

Shiro shook his head vehemently. An astounding ‘No’ then. “No, it wasn’t planned. But the more time that went on, I just- I felt like that’d be hard for you, knowing how the last time-”

“Stop.” Keith pleaded, eyes drifting shut. He pushed at his temples.

“Okay.”

A headache was rising, and Keith was already past his time for pills.

“Anyways, that’s when Lotor noticed me. I came in, we talked a bit, finally. I played with him.”

“How many times was this?”

“Sorry?”

“How many times did you come to the hospital?”

“Not including signing you two in? Five times, Keith.”

Keith hummed.

So he did still care.

In his own way.

Maybe… maybe they could grow past this.

“Thank you, Shiro. For Kosmo.” There was no heat to his voice, Keith seeming to be running out of all energy.

He could sleep for a million years. But Lotor was still having fun. He pointed back to the couch, grabbing the pills from his fanny pack. “May I?” He shook them.

Shiro’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t mind?”

“Lance just knows we’re coming today, we never said a time. And. I’m past the time for my pills and I’m feeling it… Is it alright if we stay for a little bit? Lotor likes you… and I’m a bit afraid to introduce him to Lance, and Coran, and the Alteans, and Lance’s entire family so soon with me incapacitated…” Keith shrugged. “So...”

“Please, go ahead. I’ll go grab blankets.” Shiro ran upstairs and Keith could hear him shuffling about. Shiro quickly came back with a literal pile of pillows and blankets as Keith finished taking the pills dry, settling against the couch as Kosmo trotted up to him. He let Lotor down and tilted his head at Keith. He sniffed the air, curling up at the end of the couch, Lotor joining him.

“Do you need help with your bandages?” Keith shook his head. He’d be damned it he let Shiro help out with that. Touch his naked skin, see his scarred back....

No thank you.

A few minutes passed and Keith was curled up comfortably, sipping on water that Shiro retrieved. He was thankful.

“I get what you mean though,” Shiro started, falling on the other side of the section. He spread his arms across the backrest, his human hand slipping over the side. If Keith was propped up just a bit more, he would feel the fingertips in his hair… Keith could already feel the phantom movements, and they weren’t even touching.

“It could be overwhelming for him, today. Lance is a lot, so is Altea... Especially since he’s a pretty recluse kid so far.”

Keith nodded.

“This is a... nice place, Shiro.” Keith changed subject. He moved to his back, pressing the palm of his hand over his closed eyes, yawning. “Maids and all.”

“Yeah… Curtis...” Shiro always said his name around Keith like it was a curse. When Shiro noticed no sign of the reaction he expected, he breathed a sigh of relief and continued. “Didn't want me to spend all my time keeping the place clean, y’know?”

“Didn’t want you to become a proper housewife, you mean?” Keith mumbled into his chest.

Shiro, luckily, didn’t catch it. “Sorry?”

“Curtis must make a lot at the Garrison, huh?”

“Yeah,” Shiro said sullenly. “He makes a good amount.” Keith eyed around the room at the ‘good amount’ he must make.

“And what about you? You miss it?”

“I’m moving on,” He said. “I'm writing now.”

It was true. He mostly wrote nonfiction essays about the Galaxy Garrison, war efforts, or how the increase of alien persons on Earth would help economically throughout the Universe. The essays, though, were so unlike Shiro. The man craved adventure, which Keith could tell from some of his lengthy intervaled rants. The words went into too poetic of prose, obvious longing behind the sentence structure. They weren't clear and concise pieces of information. They were stories of what had passed, and a mourning of what had been from the author’s life.

There was a definite longing through Shiro's words.

Shiro missed it all. That much was evident.

(Keith may or may not own all of his published work…)

According to the Paladins, Shiro was contemplating writing their story, especially knowing how the market was dying to get their hands on that particular novel.

Keith hummed. “Writings not like you…”

“No," Shiro agreed softly. "But I think I have to do things that aren't very much like me, now. I have to think about others, instead of just myself, and what I want.”

Keith noticed the new arm then, hidden underneath the heavy maroon sweater. It looked heavy, with the Earthen metals. The floating arm was no more, instead a completed hunk of movable metal took its place.

“You're never going to move on if you don't accept things that have passed, Shiro.” He said quietly, dropping his palm back over his face. Keith began fully passing out, body starting to relax as his breathing became heavy.

“When did you become so wise?” Shiro whispered instead.

Lotor came bounding up to Keith, nudging against his blanket. “Keef?” He whispered. “Keef, they have a giant woom, and comfy chairs. And- and there's a TV the size of our bedwoom wall!” From the hospital's bedroom, Keith figured.

“Ahh,” Shiro tested, moving up from his spot on the couch. He reached for Lotor’s hand, pulling him away from the slowly fading Keith. “He means the movie theatre. Maybe I’ll go take him there now, leave you to rest.”

Keith nodded. He would be super okay with that, actually.

“Go pick out a movie,” Keith began, slowly, mouth dry from the chalkiness of the pills. Their taste was still in his mouth. “And after Keith rests,” yes, Keith was talking about himself in the third person as he spoke, thank you, drugs. "We’ll head for Altea, okay?”

His eyes were closed and he didn’t make out Lotor’s reaction, but from Shiro’s happy whispering, it was a good one.

“Have a good nap, Keith,” he heard two voices whisper as a door closed in the distance.

Keith sighed, tucking himself further into the couch. Kosmo shuffled closer towards him, protecting him from the cold floor. His tufts of fur further blanketed Keith, providing him more warmth and comfort then Keith had felt in a long time.

As Keith slipped away, he couldn’t help but think that this was probably the most inconvenient time to ever (be forced to?) adopt a child.

But honestly? He was okay with it.

His life had always been a mess, why not just add something else on top of it? It's how Keith Kogane had always worked, and will always work.

Keith fell asleep, warm and happy as the pills did their job, listening to the wading sounds of a child's muffled laughter from behind the closed doors.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> while writing this I wrote the word ‘mahogany’ and went on a downward thomas sanders vine compilation spiral for approximately two hours so…. Glad this got finished eventually. I have so much homework to do…
> 
> Hope everyone enjoys this chapter, Lotor finally meets ALL of the Paladins ;)  
> Also, question - Does Lance's mom have a name?? I need it but refuse to watch s8 to find out.

**“** _Y_ _ou’re my very best friend, and we’ll always be friends forever… won’t we?_ ”  
Fox and the Hound.

  
Keith awoke in what felt like a blink of an eye. He batted his eyelashes against the harsh light of the setting sun blanketing over him. Kosmo was snoring softly on the floor in front of him, seemingly protecting him from the rest of the world.

Kosmo could be a guardian with how giant he’s grown to be.

Keith felt small bits of sweat make their way down his face, his arms shaking a little.

His back and muscles didn’t feel any better. Honestly they almost felt worse.

Keith heard a little kid laughing from a short distance away. It remained muffled from the ringing of his ears.

With a huff, Keith shimmied himself out of the blankets and off the couch, careful not to wake Kosmo. Every movement caused a bone to crack, arching his aching back as he walked towards the noise. His vision was blurry, but it usually was right after waking lately from all the medication.

He jutted open the closed mahogany doorway.

Lotor was standing on one of the large movie theater lounge chairs. Shiro was lazing back, watching him silently, hands up to catch the child in case he fell. The air was one of ease, and Keith felt himself relax.

Lotor seemed hypnotized by whatever was on screen. He jumped a little, mimicking some of the moves from the animated characters. At one point during a song, a dog was sniffing the ground curiously while a fox tail appeared behind him. The dog noticed in surprise and the two crashed animatedly into one another.

Lotor seemed to love that part, Keith watching as he asked Shiro to replay and replay the scene, seeing it as so humorous while he giggled away at their antics. He’d then proceed to describe what he just saw _again_ with such excitement that his words were mixing and it was obvious Shiro was no longer understanding, instead just nodding and smiling, keeping up appearances for the young boy.

It seemed to be working well, Lotor continuing to use his arm as a pseudo tail, pretending to be the fox walking into the puppy.

Finally, Keith took the plunge, his heart sinking a bit as he waltzed into the room.

Waltzed as much as he could after waking up from a drug induced state, still in pain.

Lotor whipped around, noticing Keith stalking forward, using the chairs as a crutch while he approached the two.

“Keef! Keef! She-wo had cookies! Like, like, Mr. Hun-ck! Not as goooood but still good.”

“That’s only because Hunk’s were freshly made, Lotor. Can’t get that store bought.” Shiro explained, removing the blanket from his own legs as he began to get up. Shiro's eyes instantly took in Keith's appearance. He stilled, no shock on his face. He seemed to figure this would happen.

“Keith, do you need to sit down?" Shiro offered kindly, moving towards the other. "We’re not quite done the movie, you could-”

“That’s alright, Shiro. You’ve done enough.” It was harsh, quick, Keith knew. But from the dizziness and having to be around Shiro…. Keith was struggling.

Lotor looked between the two, then, confused.

Keith sighed loudly, rubbing at his head, long hair falling greasy over his shoulders. Keith was sure he looked crazed.

“Sorry. Not- it’s just.”

“No, Keith, I get it-”

‘ _No you don’t_!’ Keith truly wanted to yell, yet only knowing it’d cause Lotor panic, so he gripped the seats edge tighter. He remained quiet.

“You should get going to Altea, get set up sooner rather than later. I’m sure Lance is getting worried.”

Shiro and Lotor worked their way towards Keith, Shiro opening an unused water bottle and passing it to Keith silently. Shiro was watching every little twitch and shake Keith couldn’t stop himself from making.

Keith peaked through his closed fingers, past the blanket of bangs.

“I’ve been there, Keith. It's okay.” Shiro said, both of their eyes drifting to his arm. They weren’t talking about the same thing, but from the look in his eyes, Keith guessed that maybe they were.

They weren’t talking about Keith’s injuries or Shiro’s prosthetic.

Shiro was just an expert at hiding it.

Shaking his head, Shiro steadied his human hand and offered the water more aggressively, near shoving it at Keith’s chest.

“Drink, it’ll help. Trust me.”

“Yah! Dwink Keef! It’ll help!” Keith tried to smile, the artificial lights of the paused, bright movie caused a whole string of nausea to the pills settled in Keith’s stomach.

The smell of microwave popcorn didn’t help it either.

Shiro came closer, watching him.

“Maybe we should phone Lance. Let him know to have things ready.”

Keith could only nod, falling into a movie theater chair as Shiro left with Kosmo, gathering their things. Keith pressed the palms of his hands against his pounding eyes, his elbows indenting his own knees.

Lotor watched Shiro leave, and turned towards the burnt out Keith. Scared but trying to be brave, he waddled forward, blankie always like the back of a bride’s veil as it moved behind him on the ground.

Lotor reached for Keith, pressing his tiny, cold hands onto his knees, petting them.

“Sorry, Buddy. I haven’t been much fun today.” Keith whispered. Lotor petted harder, trying to be reassuring, it seemed.

“This help me, back in yo woom. You petted my back. So I’ll pet you. Does it help?” He smiled, voice low as he continued to pet Keith’s knees and calf. Keith didn’t answer, just trying to stay awake.

Eventually Lotor forced his hands towards Keith’s hair, hands running through the stringy strands, playing with it. He wasn’t doing much besides gently pulling and crossing certain parts of it together. Keith wasn’t sure, but it felt nice and he wasn’t complaining, so…

Shiro came running back in then, turning off the theater's projector and shoving Keith’s pills into his hands with more water. He looked flushed and sweating.

Lotor reached for his hand, tugging at it as the two watched Keith take his pain killers. One he forced them down, he ungracefully flopped backwards onto the chair, his eyes still closed.

“Thank you...”

Lotor made a sad noise but otherwise didn’t move, huddling closer. He didn’t let go of Shiro’s hand either, the older man stumbling forward, catching himself against the arm of the seat, sitting on it.

“Aw you okay, Keef?” Lotor whispered into the skin of Keith’s arm, holding him tightly. Shiro reached to place his human hand against Keith's forehead, but stopped the notion completely.

Keith felt the wave of air pass as Shiro pulled his hand away in guilt.

Keith tried to nod, a wave of nausea running over him.

“I will be.” He eventually was able to say.

Kosmo came trotting in, wearing a sad saddle with some of their luggage.

The important stuff anyways. For now.

“Me and Kosmo can make a few trips. We need to get you to bed.” Shiro said.

They weren’t traveling timelines, so jumping from planet to planet would be easier on the pup.

Keith tried to nod.

“Ready?” Shiro said, holding onto Kosmo’s fur after typing a quick message on his phone.

Keith peaked out from a pained eye.

“You’re coming too?” He croaked.

“Gotta make sure you get there safely. It’s going to be bright… Hey Lotor, could you put your very special blanket over Keith’s eyes?... Thank you.”

The world became more black behind the child’s blanket and Keith felt himself being transferred, holding onto Lotor’s little hand.

Really. Keith should have figured he’d pass out immediately afterwards, Lotor’s shouts the only thing he’d heard as he fell onto the uneven terrain, arms wrapping around him as they tried to hold him upright.

* * *

  
Altea was beautiful, there was no doubt about that. Keith especially liked that they hadn’t quite figured out that glass can be used inside their homes, and not just for military machinery.

Or whatever the Altean equivalent of glass was.

So when he woke, there was no red, hot sunset stifling the room, reminding him of the desert.

Or let alone to tell Keith what time it was.

He only had to lick his lips, asking the internal system aloud to find out: _6:00 pm, Earth time/_ _Something completely incoherent in Altean._

Keith hummed and blinked his eyes open for the third time that day. Now his pain was extremely manageable, and when he moved to sit against the wall from his bed, the stretch of his stitches didn’t bother him. He sighed with relief.

Lotor was pressed against the wall of the bed, asleep and tucked into Keith’s side. He looked like he’d been crying from the red rimmed puff of his eyes.

Keith smiled, realizing it must be time for or just past dinner. He rubbed Lotor’s shoulders before leaving the bed, enjoying how his bones cracked under the weight of his stretch.

He was about to enter the hall when the attached bathroom came into view, his eyes widening.

_Shower time._

And while the sting and mist of the hot water caused Keith more pain as it dripped over his still newly scarred back, he was thrilled to finally rid of that… dire hospital smell.

He always hated the smell of antiseptic.

There were Altean robes hanging on the door, Keith quickly tying one around himself.

He doesn't understand how the Alteans are such a complex, innovative species who can create the softest, warmest wonders that is the cloth that is currently pressed around himself, have magical space lions, and bring people back to life with space magic, but have not invented glass for aesthetic purposes, like for homes. Everything was hunky pieces of cold metallics and kind of reminded Keith of the inside of Shiro’s home-

Wait. Shiro came to Altea, didn’t he?

Was he still here?

He guessed there had been weirder things in the Universe than the Alteans never using glass for other reasons than military purposes.

Keith hummed, literally tossing the thoughts out of his mind as he dried off his hair with the Altean towels and, for the first time in weeks, braided it out of his face.

Checking the steamed covered mirror with a smile, he was finally starting to feel like himself again. It was a miracle.

Keith checked Lotor’s sleeping form once more before heading out. He didn’t exactly know where he was, but he had been there enough after the initial construction to figure his way around.

He heard two whispering voices, the sounds echoing down the metal halls.

It didn’t do much to whisper here.

Keith began to tread lightly on his feet, hoping to move past the gossiping indiviuals and towards the kitchens when-

“- have any idea?”

“Doesn’t seem to, no.”

It was Lance and Shiro. They were talking about something private, something Keith knew he shouldn’t interrupt. Keith knew he should back off. Knew he should step away.

But this was the first time in years he heard Lance talk without the shrill animosity stuck in his voice. Lance almost sounded all right. Keith figured he was permitted to eaves drop. It was nice to hear.

“How much longer?”

“A few weeks, hopefully. It’’ll all be done by the end of the month.”

“Dude.” It was Lance. And he sounded happy, ecstatic. “I’m so proud of you. You did something really amazing this time.”

Keith could here the skepticism in Shiro, surprised at Lance's words. “Thanks Lance…. You don’t- you don’t think he’ll be upset again… do you?”

Lance openly sighed, folding his arms across his stomach. “Honestly I don’t know. It’s for the best though. We’ll just have to wait and see. The guy can grow up eventually.”

_Grow up. Eventually._

Keith just knew they were talking about him then. It had always felt nice, having Lance in his corner.

Things seemed to have changed, switched. Lines drawn suddenly. It hurt. But Keith did leave, providing no way of contact for those who never wanted to contact him in the first place until it became impossible. And Shiro needed a friend, especially if this conversation was about Shiro’s hopeful adoption. That's the only thing Keith could come up with.

It didn’t seem like Curtis was ever home to be there with Shiro, so Keith could at least be happy for this.

_The guy can grow up eventually._

“Maybe we should go check on Keith. It’s been too long, c’mon.”

Keith was already fading into the shadows, his room’s door falling with a silent shut before Shiro and Lance even turned the corner.

* * *

  
“Well, well, well, look who’s awake, Mr. Sleeping Beauty.” Lance said, arms crossed as he entered Keith’s room.

Keith was pressed against the headboard wall, not really doing much of anything. It was eerie.

He did, however, press a single finger to his mouth.

Lance sighed, shouldering the doorway.

“Dont 'Shh' me! You’ve been out for three days, we had to eventually use the pods!" He exclaimed enthusiastically, albeit somehow also quietly. "Not for long, though, since Lotor freaked out and sent himself into a panic attack, which is why you still have stitches. But you’re way more close to healing than before.”

Keith jumped a bit, looking between Shiro and Lance for confirmation as he reached the sad conclusion.

Three days and a healing pod.

_Shit._

He reached for Lotor, comforting the child in his sleep.

“Wanna come and eat? Lotor hasn't done much of anything besides cry and sleep.”

Shiro shifted beside Lance. “I read him books that my grandfather left for me. He really liked the ones with the moon.”

Lance humphed, unperturbed. “Shiro and Kosmo were the only ones allowed near the kid without being attacked.”

Keith swallowed loudly. “Has he eaten? At all?”

“Only a little,” Shiro provided unhappily. “I tried, Keith, but he was too scared.”

Keith nodded. "He can get like that." He explained and Lance rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well. It's not an excuse. That's isn't healthy."

Lance was right. It wasn't healthy, and the kid needed to eat now, more so than Keith. He was sure the others would disagree based on the being asleep for three days thing, but Keith was an adult. Lotor was a child.

He moved off the bed and bent over the mattress, slowly shaking Lotor awake.

“Hey, Buddy. It’s Keith, can you wake up? We need to go eat some food.” He said lowly, just for the two.

Lotor mumbled in his sleep, pressing closer to his blankie before blinking his eyes open, crinkled from the bleeding light of the hallway coming into their room. “Keef?” He whispered. “Is it you?”

Keith smiled, pulling the grabbing child into a hug. “Yeah, Buddy, it’s me.”

“Keef!” Lotor screeched right into Keith’s ear, hugging even more tightly than Keith. Keith was slightly choking. “You- you! You would not wake up! And- and. She-wo said you needed to sweep so I was quiet, I pwomise. I was good cause I... I thought If I was good, you would come back! And you came back! Juz like She-wo said!”

“I did promise, Buddy. I wouldn’t leave, right?”

Lotor smiled, nodding his head.

“So, wanna go get something to eat?”

Lotor shook his head into Keith’s shoulder, and Keith sighed. “Oh well, too bad. You’re eating. Come on.” With little struggle, Keith pulled the kid onto his waist and lifted them both upwards. He was finally almost better.

The kid was less than pleased to be leaving the warmth of his bed though, wiggling in discontent on Keith's waist.

“Wai! Wai!” Lotor yelled, almost out of the bedroom. He pointed back towards the bed from Keith’s shoulder.

“Bankie! We can’t weave Bankie!”

Shiro was immediately there, handing Lotor the requested blanket. Lotor smiled, reaching and pulling himself over Keith’s shoulder. Keith held on tighter and the Child dangled over his shoulder.

Lotor grabbed at Shiro from over Keith's shoulder, pulling him for a quick hug as thanks.

This was not an intelligent thing to do.

From the sudden pull that left Shiro blindsided, he fell forward and straight against Keith.

“Woah!” They both tripped over the other, catching themselves just in time from Lotor’s strong grip.

Shiro was pressed against Keith’s back as Lance laughed at the scene. He stopped himself from whamming into Keith by holding onto his hips. Keith did fall a little less than gracefully into a wall, smacking into it. He shot out an arm, using his one okay hand to leverage them all and regain his balance. One imminent danger was no longer upon them, Keith tucked Lotor more safely into his chest, trying to pull the still hugging child away from Shiro.

It was no use.

Now here they were, stuck, with a clinging child holding onto both of them.

Great.

“Tank you, She-wo!” Lotor yelled, falling back into Keith’s shoulder and chest with a ‘whompf’. Shiro stayed in his position a second longer, jumping backwards, hands tugging away from Keith’s small waist.

“To the food palace!” Lance yelled out,  Lotor parroting along.

Keith continued to feel the flush on his face as he walked.

The phantom hands against his hips never left either.

* * *

  
Within the first week on Altea it was becoming blissfully apparent to all that Lotor did not want nor did he know how to play with the other Altean children.

He was stuck against Keith’s hip, on Keith’s lap, always at Keith's side, or playing with Keith’s hair at all times.

It was concerning.

Lotor finished putting a thick strand into another sad attempt of a braid shrouded with Altean flowers, showing it to Keith happily before starting on another piece.

Keith found a piece of enlarged canvas, using it to draw the Altean flowers scattered on the table. He wasn't sure if he wanted to do line work, shade, or make this into a painting. But it was nice, getting back into it after being away from drawing for so long. It’d been forever since he was able to do this.

Keith sighed.

The other very apparent thing was that something was up. With everyone. Coran was acting weird. Lance was acting weird. Romelle was acting weird.

And it wasn’t… welcoming.

And Keith’s instincts were exceptionally good. So when he felt more than saw Coran sneaking past him behind a line of trees while the group was out eating lunch at an Altean picnic table, Keith turned, eyes sharp and suspicious.

He figured from Lotor’s small gasp that his sclera was bleeding yellow.

It was easier to control now.

It was also a great intimidation tactic to use… like now, for example.

Coran yelped, dropping the pile of large logs he had been caring when he felt more than saw Keith's harsh glare. There was a crash, and Keith eyed him warily.

“Oh, worry me! Seems like I dropped the vartonian lump for the festival of the ancient Loqotizt’s! Oh dear, me, looks… like I’ll have to get another bundle! Yes, that's right! Since they like purity. And not dirtied… uhh, vartonian lumps. Yes, be back in a spifgy!” He ran away into the forest, leaving his pile of chopped wood on the ground.

Keith raised a brow turning back to Lance, just in time to catch him metaphorically slicing his throat. Lance noticed the catch, eyes dashing away as he began to whistle, hands falling straight to his sides.

Things were getting beyond odd.

“What’s going on.” Keith said and very much did not ask, letting the yellow sharpen in his eyes. The charcoal pencil in his hand almost broke.

Lotor stared from his lap in wonder, tugging at the braid loosely. “Gal-wah too?!” Keith only nodded quickly, turning back to Lance in question.

Lotor seemed to sense this wasn’t the time for this conversation and picked up another flower from the picnic table.

The purple one would look nice next to the big yellow one, he thought, looping the root through Keith’s hair.

Just like Lotor's own Galran colours. Lotor laughed to himself.

“What’s going on is that your adopted child from another dimension has too severe separation anxiety to play with the other kids! And leave you!” Lance chomped, grabbing a bun from a plate and eating it whole.

He almost choked.

Fine.

Keith would let the real issue go. For now.

He loosened his grip and continued to draw.

“My Mami had so many kids," Lance said after he swallowed some water, still chewing loudly. "And had many different stories from their first days at nursery school. Many stayed and cried and didn’t want her to leave, some ran away saying ‘bye!’ like they didn't care.”

“Were you a crier?” Keith joked, haughtily.

Lance looked unimpressed, crossing his arms. “No! Of course not. I left my mother on the doorstep of that pre-school and made friends with everyone, and I mean everyone!”

“He cried for three days straight.” Veronica whispered, walking by with some cut up fruit, laying the tray onto the table. It was Saturday, so the McClain’s were making their weekly visit, a new occurrence starting over from the last few months, according to Lance.

Keith was happy for the other. Lance hadn't been seeing his family much, after Allura, instead shying away and rarely talking with them.

“Hey! Shut up!” Lance shouted. Lotor glared immediately when Lance continued to shout loudly in Spanish. Lotor did not appreciate loud and unruly noise levels. He held onto Keith’s hair tighter, making the older man gasp from the sudden tug.

“So,” Lance turned back to Keith, chewing at another bun, pointing towards the otherwise occupied kid. “Why is that?”

Keith shrugged, bouncing Lotor slightly on his knee unconsciously. The child was now giving him a dirty look from where he was making Keith’s hair into a picasso masterpiece. Keith was ruining the job, so Keith stopped his knees from bouncing.

The art that was Keith’s hair was abstract, nothing defined, and pieces were everywhere seemingly meaninglessly. Some were loose and falling in over his shoulder in lengths, some were tightly wound braids, others were loose and small and filled with flowers.

Kid had an eye, according to Lance.

“He was fine playing alone with Shiro and Kosmo the first day out of the hospital. It’d been the only time at that point he even talked to someone else, or was left alone with them, or played with them. I’m just happy he’s able to talk to you guys. He doesn’t like crowds.”

“Was that not a thing before? Talking?”

Keith was careful with how he shook his head. “No. He never spoke to the nurses, and he only used the sign language they taught him.”

“So he only spoke to you?”

“Mhmm." Keith agreed. "Until Hunk came along and the kid seemed to see I trusted him.” Keith acknowledged. “Still doesn’t explain the Shiro thing and not the-” Keith gestured to Lance and then the group of playing kids in the field, “thing.”

“I can. And it’s called sep-ar-a-tion ANXIETY. Got it? Like you used to have with Shiro.”

“Lance-”

“It’s true, dude, you fell into depression the first two times you thought he died, right?”

“L-lance,” Keith stuttered, shocked by Lance’s bold statement. He shifted his eyes, careful not to move his hair. “That’s different. A-and, he has abandonment issues, he’s a scared, lonely kid, and he sees me as his saviour, like someone more familial he can trust, and I-”

“Saw Shiro romantically, rather than family-oriented. Just say it so we can all move on, including you.”

“I have, alright?” Jesus, where was this coming from? Acceptance? From Keith? Maybe having a kid around was forcing him to be more adult. “In the past.” Keith admitted, slowly and carefully. He tasted around each word before he let them out to the world, letting them be heard. “At first… At first it was a saviour complex, y’know? He saved me, so I looked up to him. But then, when we became equals…. I did- see him, as a romantic interest…” Keith immediately shook his head, noticing Lance’s roll of his eyes. “Not now though. Not anymore. Because Shiro is more than that. He deserves better, so I can move on, act...”

_He needs to grow up eventually._

“I can grow up eventually, right?” Keith said, wincing at the sound of his own voice cracking.

“I noticed.” Lance spoke, taking a theatrical chug of his drink. “You can say his name again, and look him in the eyes and not look like you want to cry or chuck a dagger into someone’s specifically nameless chest…”

Keith hummed, ignoring him, continuing to draw on.

“Shiro said you stayed at his place longer than he expected because Lotor was having fun.”

“He was.” Because it was that simple.

“Proud of you, my dude.”

Keith smiled.

“Now what I’m not proud of is this little rascal not doing anything fun! He’s three. And he’s the royal equivalent of Ben Stein…. Or Alan Rickman.. Actually that reminds me, why does he have an accent? You can kind of hear it whenever he talks. But only slightly.”

Keith shrugged, reaching for a better pencil, moving on from the lines and into shading. “I figure he’ll grow out of it, since neither his biological parents or me have that accent. But maybe it’s innate? To him? He’s become obsessed with old film-noirs since Shiro showed him his movie theater and you brought a television into our room. I swear he’s watching them just to practice.”

“He’s three.” Lance said, dry-pan.

“Yup.”

“Why is a three year old watching film noirs?”

“Cause he likes them, and they’re so old, nothing bad will happen and there won’t be any graphic violence. It all happens off screen. Any implied sexual stuff and kissing goes over his head. I think he just likes hearing them talk.”

“Then put on the Great British Bake-Off or something Altean, not that shit!”

“Lance, he likes it!”

“How’d he even see it?”

“I dunno, I was up late one night, it was on, I was watching it, he woke up, starting watching too- bam!- he likes film noirs and requests it before reading his books during bedtime.” Keith really wasn’t sure about screen time and its repercussions on growing children. A half an hour seemed okay, though, since Lotor was otherwise outside and with Keith during all other times.

Keith was honestly winging this parenting thing.

“Jesus. Christ. Whatever. Fine. Not a big deal.” He narrowed his eyes at Lotor.  “Maybe.” Keith did roll his eyes, bouncing Lotor on his lap again, making the kid giggle now that he was closer to finishing Keith’s braid. “Anyways, we gotta teach him how to play with other kids and not be so serious.”

Keith knew this. And from conversations with Lance’s mother after Lotor was asleep, he knew there needed to be a routine. Leave Lotor with the kids, and just leave, but come back. Watch from a distance if Keith had problems with it too.

It was equally hard on parents, according to Lance's Mom, and Keith stupidly promised the kid he wouldn’t ever leave.

This, in hindsight, was a stupid thing to say.

As well intentioned as it was at the time, it may have been completely wrong.

And with Keith being so hurt through all of their time together, he understood Lotor’s fear of Keith leaving. But the stitches were out, and Keith no longer had to bandage his back. He had scars, yes, they were still sensitive and in slight pain without his pills, yes, and they would cause problems later in life, yes, but right now Keith could move with only a little degree of pain. So now Keith needed to begin working with Lotor, his own bodily issues be damned.

Keith dropped his pencil, fingers blackened with the charcoal shades. He elbowed at Lotor, getting him to look at Keith.

“Hey, Buddy. Lance was just telling me about a really, really fun game we thought you’d like. Wanna try?”

Lotor bit his lip in contemplation, dropping a flower into his lap. It was obvious he was interested in the idea. “Uhmm, would you pay too, Keef?”

Keith shook his head. “Not this time, Buddy. Still can’t with my back.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie. He wasn’t _supposed_ to do anything physical for another week just to be safe. It didn’t mean he _couldn’t._ But, hindsight, he needed to do this for the kid.

Lotor smiled and reached for his flower instead. “I’m good.” He said, continuing to play with Keith’s hair.

Lance groaned. “He was interested! He wants to! You saw that!” He whispered in a hushed tone aggressively at Keith. “I know!” Keith responded in a similar manner.

“Just- one more try.”

Keith sighed and turned back to Lotor. “It sounded fun, though, right? A game with Lance?”

Lotor shrugged.

“Would you like to play with Lance at some point, without me? He can be really, _really_ fun.” Keith wasn’t selling this.

Lotor shrugged.

“Do you _not_ want to play with Lance?”

Lotor hesitantly looked at Keith, then ignored him to pick up another flower.

“Hey, Buddy, drop the flower for a second.” Keith wiped the charcoal from his hands onto his silky pant legs of the Altean wardrobe. With a finger underneath his jaw, he forced Lotor to look at him. “Why don’t you want to play with Lance? I _promise_ you he’s fun, and you’d be very safe with him around. And I'll be right here, watching if you want."

Lotor shrugged again, biting his lip. “Do you not want to pay wit me, Keef?”

“No! No! I just, can’t right now. And haven’t been able to, and that’s not okay. You deserve to have some awesome play time, playing and having fun after being so brave for so long. And not just sit here and taking care of me. We’re just trying to think of some things that doesn’t involve me, but makes you-” Lotor wasn’t listening, dammit.  “You liked playing with Shiro.” Keith swore he wasn’t pleading as the kid bounced on his now shaking knees.

“Yeah. But I wike Shiro.” Keith had to bite his lips to stop himself from choking due to the brutal honesty of that statement. The face Lance made was priceless, and the poor kid was none the wiser, still playing with Keith’s hair in perfect, childhood bliss.

Lance slammed his hands forward, near crawling across the table to get into the kid’s face. “Wait what?! You don’t like me?!”

Lotor turned to Lance, eyes narrowed. “Un-cal Lans is loud.”

This time Keith did laugh, ripping his braid out of Lotor’s hair mistakenly, causing the kid to have a tantrum. 

Worth it, though.  
 

* * *

  
It was later the same day, closing in on dinner time and well after Lotor’s nap when a wormhole opened, Pidge surprisingly walking through and holding a bag of… something.

“Pidge?” Keith called out, looking at her in shock. Hunk followed behind her, holding, you guessed it, a bag of food and cookies, specifically.

Lotor narrowed in on those from a mile away, tugging at Keith’s hand to go and get the cookies with him until he noticed Pidge, front and center and now directly in front of him.

“Heard there was a kid and I’m not good with kids so here I am and I brought toys…” She said nonplussed, dumping the bag onto the picnic table, right over Keith’s drawing and the unused flowers.

Lance cleared his throat.

“As per Lance’s request.” She sighed.

Lotor immediately shimmied away from the new person, shying into the crook of Keith’s arm. Keith held him closer.

“What are you guys doing here?!” Keith asked, looking at Lance in question.

The Blue Paladin didn’t seem at all surprised.

“Just been working a lot lately, so I haven’t had a chance to meet the youth yet. Lance thought today would be the most appropriate time.” Pidge was wearing large, bug-like sunglasses, and even through the specs, Keith noticed when she zoomed in on Lotor.

“Holy-”

“Don’t say it.”

“Is that actually-?!” She whispered. From everyone’s wayward gazes, she got her answer. “Well…. That’s an interesting turn of events...”

Keith could see her mind working behind her sunglasses.

Without asking, she sat down beside Lotor, and he shied away even more. “I just can’t believe it.” She whispered. “I just- sorry. Hey.... Lotor,” she reached out a hand to shake. “My name is Pidge, me and your uhh... Dad?” She looked at Keith who just shrugged. They hadn’t had that conversation yet, if they ever were. “Used to be work buddies. Really good friends, too.”

Lotor pushed out his lip before turning completely and hiding into the columns of Keith’s loose shirt.

“He doesn’t like new people.” Keith spoke, folding his arms over Lotor in comfort.

Hunk smiled, waving as he sat down beside Lance. He started bringing out all the dinner food he’d made noticing Pidge’s gesture. He pulled out the box of cookies first, handing them over towards her. Lance rose a brow at the silent conversation, knowing he had missed something.

Pidge opened for the box of just baked cookies, the smell wafting over the table, pulling one out. Lotor shuffled, sensing it, but stayed hidden anyways.

Pidge took a theatrical bite. “Mmmmm!” She exclaimed. “Hunk! These _cooookies_ are the best things you’ve ever made! They’re perfect, and golden, and chocolaty.” She took another bite. “Mmmm, oh well. I’ll just have to have another one. I might eat them all at this point, I'm so hungry!" She gave a stern look to everyone at the table, the old group of Paladins immediately falling under the feared spell and reaching for their own cookie. They all began to take part in the skit.

“The cookies!”

“Amazing!”

“Oh no! We’ll eat them all at this point. But we’re getting so full, but they need to be eaten!” It was Pidge.

“I think we need help!”

“I do too! The cookies need to fulfill their life goal of being eaten!” Hunk yelled. Keith winced, thinking that took a turn. But it seemed to work. He noticed Lotor peeking out from his shirt, staring at everyone chewing away.

Lotor gulped and Pidge noticed. She reached for another one from the box, holding it out towards Lotor.

“Heard they were your favourite. Want one, little guy?” She asked, swaying the cookie in front of his face.

He smiled a little, and brought up his hand worryingly slow as he grabbed at it. He brought himself more into the open, allowing his full face to be shown when he took his first bite.

“Mmmmm!” He exclaimed.

Everyone parroted the sound back, and Lotor began to laugh.

“Thanks Pidge,” Keith said honestly as the kid settled down.

“Anytime. So anyways, wanna tell us more about how all this happened? Seems like quite the story!”

“Sure,” Keith spoke easily for the first time in months. He reached for his last cookie, breaking it in half for himself and Lotor to share. “Well, after I ran off, I just started taking blades missions, y’know?” 

* * *

  
After putting Lotor to bed after their lengthy bedtime routine of bath, toothbrush, watch a few scenes of any film noir with Lotor’s new toys from Pidge, any book with a moon (they only had Altean bedtime stories and Keith did not speak Altean, so he found himself making up the words) and finally tucking Lotor away, Keith left the room, seeking out Pidge.

She’d be staying the night, according to Lance.

Apparently she’d been very concerned after all the News stations and radios told the story of Keith falling mid-Garrison meeting, striking fear into the hearts of all the Universe. Perhaps she had heard of the concerns first hand, of allowing Lotor to stay. That was what Nanette had said.

He knocked on her door. “Hey, Pidge. It’s me.”

Without any seconds in between, the door opened with a swoosh.

Pidge hadn’t even been here for five hours and the room was already a pigsty. Her clothes were everywhere, as was Pidge’s materials all over the desk. She was writing something down from a textbook as she looked over graded papers. There was a lot of red ink.

She was muttering angrily to herself, her hair a mess and looking more like a birds nest.

Hunk was also in the room, folding his own clothes back into his suitcase on the opposing bed.

“Oh, hey Hunk. Are you guys sharing the room?” Keith was rather shocked, but not surprised.

“Yeah, figured it’d be easiest to just share the one, have less of a cleanup for the Alteans when we leave, y’know?” Keith nodded in understanding, turning back towards Pidge. “Hey, Pidge, could I talk to you for a second? It’d be really quick?”

Keith knew how she got in the middle of her experiments... or grading. Whatever she was doing that took dire concentration. 

Any disruption and she became a loose cannon, and it was getting worse with age. Which was saying a lot with her being the youngest Paladin, barely in her early twenties.

Her eyebrow twitched, but she forced herself away from the desk, completely overtaken with loose leaf papers.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she got up, turning towards Keith as she crossed her arms. Besides the interruption she appeared otherwise alright.

“What’s up?”

Keith wrung his hands together, knowing Hunk was nonchalantly eaves dropping.

“I just, my old social worker, Nanette? She was assigned to Lotor. She uh.. She said you had a lot to do with making sure he ended up with me, and not the Garrison.”

Pidge straightened her glasses, falling back into her chair. She was watching him, every movement, analyzing every minute detail.

Keith suddenly felt like he was her experiment getting gutted.

“You know this is novel, right?” She spoke quietly.

Keith nodded, understanding. “He’s an abandoned child from another dimension, hoping to live here long-term. Earth already had issues with allowing aliens onto the planet, despite causing wars over opening certain borders for our own kind. The idea of bringing even more there for refuge? And from another dimension? A lot of people are protesting.”

Keith figured this, remembering the rage certain people showed when aliens were allowed to live and stay on Earth. It had been a huge issue.

“Not to mention, a child. From another dimension. The experimentations that the Garrison wanted to conduct were horrible, Keith. They made even my stomach churn, and I don’t like kids… But Hunk told me about meeting him, and Shiro was the one who told me you’d been hospitalized after returning. He said that the kid was in hysterics in fear of you leaving. I’m a scientist, Keith. But I’m not cruel. So I got involved, talked often with Nanette, and yeah, we worked hard and fast but… maybe we thought you needed this. It’s a life changing event, but when Hunk talked about you after coming back, saying how he noticed you seemed happier, somehow showed more relief even while hurt in the hospital than he had ever seen? I put two and two together. If you’re angry, I’m sorry but I thought-”

“No, never Pidge." Keith interrupted quickly. She needed to know he'd never be angry over her assumption. "I couldn’t be mad about this. It was surprising, sure, but I had a choice too. I didn’t have to adopt him, but with your interference, you helped make it happen. I just wanted to thank you. I hope one day Lotor knows what you did too.”

She had her hands folded in her lap, a look of concern falling towards him.

“We.”

Keith stalled. “We?” He asked aloud. Keith could feel Hunk tense from the side of the room.

What did she mean ‘we’?

“Me and… Shiro, Keith... This was all his idea.” She said the words slowly, kindly, knowing hearing it may hurt him, somehow.

Keith had no response.

“He's the one who carried you to the hospital, helped the kid calm down when you were carted away. He visited when you slept, and Lotor talked to him… mentioned hoping you’d be okay, because he wanted to see you okay for a long time and be with you for an even longer time. He said he really liked you and the nurses always told Shiro that you were really good with him. So Lotor planted the seed, but Shiro was the one who made the first calls, got me involved, Nanette, started talking to the Garrison, the courts. He pulled most of the hours for this application… I helped, did the majority of the actual arguing and writing up the proper forms with Nanette- But, Keith. Maybe talk to Shiro too… 'Cause I thought you should know who should get most of the credit here. And it's not me.”

Keith still had no response.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this has been a super shitty week, with a bunch of breakdowns, and im kinda tipsy. So sorry for any editing issues  
> hope everyone enjoys, Keith and Shiro finally start to talk, kind of. It's the commencement of it all.  
> Also still don't known Lance's moms name, so I named her myself!

_“I didn't go to the moon, I went much further--for time is the longest distance between two places.”_ \- Tennessee Williams, The Glass Menagerie.

“Lotor, how about Uncle Lance throws the ball, and you catch it. I’ll be right here, I won’t move. I’ll watch you, I swear. Wanna try it out?”

Lotor made an unpleasant sound, petting Kosmo underneath the table. “I’m good! I wanna pay awht with Keef!” He smiled waving a pink crayon in his hand.

Keith had quickly become obsessed with art now that he was more stabilized, throwing his free time away into his drawings. Lance luckily had a lot of materials that kept Keith’s sudden obsession happy, and Lotor intrigued too. The child never had this sort of thing on Daibazaal, and he loved it; but only when Keith was helping him cut and glue stuff together, not Lance.

Never Lance.

Otherwise, Keith was spending the majority of his time trying to get Lotor to play with others. Give him a little nudge in the right direction of learning how to be social, which Keith felt bad about. He had never been the best role model for that sort of skill set. It felt rather ironic, now.

And honestly? It wasn’t working well.

Luckily Lotor was no longer fearful of the adults, and would speak up sometimes during dinner. Any progress was progress in Keith’s mind.

“You know, the best thing to do is to just pick him up and leave him with the kids for a while. Romelle and myself have them all handled.” Lance’s mother tried again and again, sitting at the table as she folded a sheet of paper into a flower, handing it to Lotor who looked at it with enthusiasm. He turned to Keith, expecting him to be able to do the same thing and teach Lotor too.

He didn’t understand yet that Keith did not, in fact, know how to do everything.

He humphed his discontent from his place on Keith’s lap.

“I know, I just. He has such abandonment issues, I don’t know if I could. He’s been through so much-”

“Keith,” she stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder. She was a woman of many talents. She was directly across the table and could still fold her arms around everyone… or poke them in the middle of their back to make them sit straight. She was as extraordinary as she was intimidating.  “You have the best intentions for the child, but from your worrying, he won’t ever grow.”

“But he’s only three." Keith squeaked out in response. "Maybe when he’s four?”

“Keith-”

“Fine. Maybe tomorrow. I’ll just.. Hand him to you? And come back? And he’ll be fine, right? He won’t get hurt? You know he’ll cry and bite, right? Maybe wear long, durable sleeves? He loves his blankie so he’ll need that, and he’s a good eater, but he’s not a good napper, you have to make sure-”

Lance’s mother ran a newly developed daycare on Altea, traveling with the use of the wormholes easily to and from. It made Lance’s work much easier, too, having at least one familiar face around.

Before Keith’s departure after the last anniversary, his Mother had rarely come to visit.

It seemed most all the Paladins were beginning to make strides.

All in the name of the children, it seemed.

Everyone was still acting odd, though. Shiro, for one, would come by every so often, looking like he’d been working under a car, or at the gym, sweating beautifully. It made Keith angry, but he kept it formal for Lotor, who had become quite taken with the other. The old group of Paladins would have dinner together, and at night, Keith would hear the whispers through the halls.

If he used his Galra senses to help pick up on those echoes, well, he wasn't going to tell anyone. They would be none the wiser.

It was immoral, for sure. But eavesdropping was sometimes an unavoidable necessity, and if someone has lived the life Keith Kogane has, it's more than a necessity.

It's a way of life.

‘ _Ju_ _st a few more days, I promise.’_ The voice was too far away for Keith to get a good grasp on who was speaking. He expanded his senses.

_‘No need to freak out, dude. Everything is going good. Coran and Hunk are getting antsy, but that's them.”_

_‘I know. I know, but I promise. Just a few more days. There were some issues and-’_

_‘Shiro. Anyone ever teach you how to breath_?’

Shiro was an innately good person, one who just was dealt a few wrongs and suffered the consequences, but it seemed that Lotor saw past all that, just as Keith once had. Shiro was staying the night, apparently on the request of Laura, Lance's Mom, as to help calm Lotor down the next day.

And here was Keith, unable to sleep, listening in on his friend’s private (but totally not private because Lance never learned how to whisper) conversation. He promised to drop off Lotor with the others the next day with Lance’s mom at her daycare. He tried explaining what would happen to Lotor.

Lotor was left heavily in denial, seeming to think that Keith would be coming along. No matter how much Keith explained otherwise.

The whispers grew dense, and Keith felt himself become uncaring to them, instead focusing on how the next day would go for the sake of Lotor.

Keith could do this, couldn’t he?

* * *

  
Keith could in fact not do this. It was the hospital all over again. Lotor was screaming and crying and biting and kicking and throwing the world’s worst temper-tantrum.

Keith’s heart was beating too fast, guilt heavy in his gut. He held his hands over his mouth, trying to breath.

Shiro was currently trying to soothe Lotor, using calming words to the screaming child. Shiro had come along at Lance’s Mom’s request. She seemed to understand how hard it’d be for Keith to deal with the situation alone. They had tried asking Lance, having known about the tension between Keith and Shiro, and quickly discovered that Lance was not the right person to ask.

Which left Keith, once again, stuck with Shiro in guidance and aid and everything shitty like that while he himself was dealing with a panic attack, unable to help his kid who sounded like he was being tortured to death.

The world just loved to laugh at him.

Keith could hear Shiro explaining everything gently, kindly. Lotor wasn’t stopping, though, and he needed to breath. It was only three hours. Keith would only be gone for three hours. Keith would be back.

Keith had explained the same things himself.

Lance’s Mom, had guided Keith around the corner and away from Lotor’s view, after Keith promised he’d come back in three hours and showed Lotor what time that would be. The big and little hand both on the number twelve, and Keith would be there again.

It hadn’t worked, of course, so here was Keith, having a panic attack in a kiddie corner where the kids' cubbies were.

“This is natural, Keith. Trust me. Give it a few days. He’s been through so much, and you know he’s a tough kid. We’ll keep a good eye on him here.” Keith trusted them, he did. But hearing Lotor throwing a fit and crying and calling for _him?_

It was completely destroying Keith’s heart.

“Just breathe, sweetheart.”

Keith was trying, honestly, he was.

Shiro came around the corner, Keith now bent over his knees, hands covering his ears.

“Hey, Laura? I got this. Romelle has Lotor, he’s not calming down. But I’ll handle Keith.” She understood and Keith felt her soothing hands drift away from his back.

Shiro reached down and grabbed Keith around his waist, running out of the daycare's door right before Keith began to sob.

“I can’t leave him in there,” Keith choked. He ran his hands through his hair, holding onto the Lotor-styled braids tightly. “I promised him I wouldn’t Shiro. He just needs more time. All of this has been happening so fast and I- I-”

“Alright. C’mon, we’re getting out of the grounds first before you break down and Lotor sees us.”

Shiro practically picked Keith off his feet as he ran out of the gates, other parents watching with sympathy. ‘First day problems,’ he had called dismissively, waving off a group of concerned women aliens, trying to laugh it off.

Shiro let Keith down when they reached the gate to Lance’s farm, about five minutes away from the daycare.

“Keith, breathe.” He said, setting Keith down onto the dirt path. It was a nice day, sun shining. The grass was green and long, the air pure.

Keith was having trouble noticing anything besides the emptiness in his lap or against his side.

“I promised.” He whimpered into his hands. He hadn’t shed any tears, but they were there, rimming his eyes, wanting to fall. Keith wouldn't let him. He was the adult here. He had to be strong.

God he didn't feel strong enough for this.

Shiro kneeled down, holding onto Keith’s shoulder as he looked over Keith's panicked features.

“You did. And you’re keeping your promise. You’re going back in three hours. Lotor isn’t training. He isn’t being left alone. You didn’t break your promise, Keith.”

In some sense, Keith knew this, he did. He swore he did.

It  didn’t lessen the pain, however.

Keith fell onto his back, finally removing his hands from his face. He breathed out, watching the idyllic clouds pass.

He shuffled his way upwards, off the quaint dirt road and against the grassy hill, out of the way of any vehicles or people walking. It was mostly unused, but it was the thought that counted.

Or, subconscious bodily movements. 

Keith wasn't really in any state of mind right now to think properly.

So he closed his eyes and pulled in a breath, letting his racing heart beat itself into oblivion. He tried to pull any calming techniques he may know to his mind.

He was left empty.

He could hear the cows and animals on the hill above him, the gate holding them in as they ate the grass, eyes glazed over.

Keith wondered, briefly: if he got up, would he be able to see Kaltenecker? The girl apparently ran her own cow pack, according to Lance.

Keith still hadn't introduced Kaltenecker to Lotor.

Lotor would like her, Keith thought. He should introduce them.

... Keith missed the kid, and the shame came crawling back tenfold.

Shiro watched Keith silently, still standing with his arms crossed on the path, white hair flowing with the wind, bangs obscuring his glasses every so often. He pulled them out of his face and looked the other way, avoiding the wind.

He was wearing another sweater, grey this time, which was strange as they were coming up to the Altean summer months. Keith himself was sweating, he noticed, in his own maroon t-shirt and jeans.

Maybe it was because his new robotic arm could barely be seen underneath the loose fitting material.

Lotor liked the arm, always found it to be cool, had even asked Keith a billion and one questions about it. Keith winced when he tried to answer them to the best of his abilities, hopefully respecting any wishes of Shiro's unbeknownst to him, as the man had always lived a private life. And it's not like they spoke enough for Keith to straight up ask- 'hey, the kids asking, what can I say about your new arm from Earth and not Allura or the Galran one, remember how that little story went?'- Keith quashed those thoughts down into a tiny little box and threw that box into a river, far from his mind.

Keith shook his head, noticing the sunlight catching on the metal of Shiro's thumb.

Lotor loved the arm, and so maybe, one day, Shiro would too-

Keith decided to bite the bullet. “It’s so hard, Shiro.” 

“Leaving him?” He asked softly.

“Just... everything.” Keith admitted, pained. “I fucked up a lot of things in my life. I don’t want to fuck this one up too. And I feel like I just did. That’s irreversible and I'm... I'll be honest, Shiro, I'm scared. Will Lotor forgive me? Afterwards? Or trust me again after that stunt I pulled?”

Keith heard Shiro shuffle on the dirt, breathing in deep. "Go back to the daycare when you said you would, Keith. Keep up the routine. It’ll get easier.”

“Will it? Most other things haven’t.” Keith was so drowned with emotion he was left empty, body floating on top of it all. He was numb, so fuck it.

“I... “ Shiro didn’t seem to know what to say.

“I fucked us up.” Keith's voice carried somehow, Shiro hearing the broken, whispered words.

“No, Keith" Shiro shook his head, "No, you didn’t. This- It’s not a single road. I’m just as much to blame… Probably more, actually. I know that’s why you left, because of, ” he cleared his throat, Keith watching the large clouds pass, “us…”

“I won’t force you to talk, Shiro-”

“Not now.” He interjected too quickly. Keith would have rose an eyebrow if he cared more. “Maybe... Maybe one day. I’d like to try and explain, maybe, what I was- what was going through my-... But- but not now. I just-”

One day then. Just a little more time.

Keith turned to his side and began to nap.

* * *

  
It was Shiro who woke him up, Keith jumping up from his spot. Was he late? How long was Lotor waiting- oh god, oh god-!

“Keith, calm down. We just have to start walking. We’re still early for pick up.” Shiro claimed, pressing Keith gently against the grass.

Keith breathed out, huffing as he fell onto his back.

“What time is it?” He asked, voice dry and cracking as he licked his lips.

“Quarter to twelve.”

“Just say 11:45, Shiro. It’s so much easier.” Keith chided, shoving past Shiro as he got up and began walking down the road.

He hoped for everything that Lotor wasn’t so angry that he now wanted to leave, no longer trusted Keith. Wouldn’t that just be Keith’s luck? The kid choosing the right option of leaving Keith, knowing Keith wasn’t fit to parent.

Leave Keith all alone again...

Keith wasn’t sure if he’d be able to survive it this time.

Kosmo came running down from the house when he noticed Keith and Shiro passing by, quickly falling into a trot behind the two, nosing at Keith from behind.

Kosmo was an empathetic creature, always picking up on Keith’s worries. He braced himself over the other, forever Keith's protector.

When they finally arrived at the gate, Keith stalled for a minute as he crossed his arms, holding himself.

“Shiro?” Keith asked, looking down. Kosmo stood tall beside him, and Shiro was further ahead, stopping to turn when he heard the small voice.

“If he doesn’t trust me-” Keith could hear the tremble in his own voice. “If he wants to leave me, now… Would you take him? Please? You’re the only one so far he likes and I…” His arms tightened across his stomach, hair still tied weakly in a braid falling over his shoulder.

Shiro watched on, kindly, eyes gentle. He fell back to stand in front of Keith, hiding him from the eyes of other arriving parents.

“If something ever happens to you, Keith. I’ll look after him, I promise. But this isn’t one of those times.”

“How do you know?” 

“Because you came back. You always do.”

The school bell wrung and Romelle and Laura opened the doors for the kids, getting the younger kids ready to leave and letting the older ones out to play during their lunch break.

Lotor remained huddled beside Romelle at the doors, holding onto his blankie like a lifeline. His eyes scanned the area, looking around.

Keith watched as Romelle bent beside him, pointing towards Keith -

Keith was suddenly thirty-five-ish pounds heavier as he found his arms surrounded with child.

“Keef!” Lotor screamed, hugging him tightly. “You came back! Juz as you pwomised!” He yelled happily.

“I promised, didn’t I?” Keith said, voice shaky. He stood up, holding Lotor to his chest.

Romelle walked towards them, holding out Lotor’s bag and dropped blankie. In his rush to get to Keith down the stairs, he had accidentally dropped his blanket and hadn't even notice.  
  
Shiro took them, thanking Laura and Romelle as Keith remained shocked.

“He went mute, Keith. He did sign for us, and he calmed down eventually.” Laura joined beside Romelle, hand on her hip. “It’ll take some time, but he was good and will continue to get better. He sat beside Romelle and participated in crafts and music. He didn’t talk, but I think we can work on that.”

“Music was so fun!” Lotor told Keith, still hugging tightly to other's neck. He looked and finally saw Shiro, waving to him as much as he could without letting Keith go. “Hi, She-wo!” His voice was small, still uncertain with the unfamiliar surrounding and so many new faces. But he knew and trusted Shiro, so he felt okay speaking to him openly in public.

“You liked music, kiddo?” Shiro asked, Laura coming up to rub both Lotor’s and Keith’s backs. Keith finally breathed a sigh of relief.

He seemed to be doing a lot of that today, his heart finally leavening down to a good pace again.

“You did?’ Laura asked as she looked at Lotor. “Excited to do music again tomorrow? Maybe you can hold the drums next time.” Laura promised, at which Lotor perked up. He stared and and remained silent, but Keith noticed the excitement he was hiding. 

Laura stood back, Romelle taking over. “So what did you do with yourself, during your first time alone in daylight since the adoption? Get up to anything fun?” She smiled.

Keith tried to say yes, wanted to say yes.

He felt ashamed.

He admitted this with only a shake to his head.

“He felt too guilty.” Shiro explained for him. “He needed some time to think, after worrying about Lotor and all.”

Romelle understood immediately. “The first few days is almost always harder for the parent than the child. Your feelings aren’t unorthodox, Keith. Actually quite natural. But you’re doing the right thing, I am sure of it!”

“So, same time tomorrow?” Laura asked. Keith tightened his hold, feeling Lotor nod, whispering in excitement about getting to play the drums into Keith’s ear.

* * *

  
It happened during the evening, a few weeks later. It was closing in on the end of their first month on Altea. The sun, as everything else, was so beautiful, setting in the distance. It felt warm, even at this time. The Altean Summer festival was coming up, Coran making all the preparations to ring in the warmest season properly. Lotor enjoyed watching the man walk all frazzled in the distance, pulling out his own moustache hairs he's had since birth.

Keith hoped they grew back.

Currently, Keith was sitting under the tree close to the picnic table on the hill, watching Lotor running around with Altean children, laughing. He still wouldn’t talk, but he was easing his way into things. And he would play with others now, after school, as long as Keith was in his viewpoint.

“You’re lucky, you know?” Shiro said, finally. Close by.

He’d been visiting much more often, and had arrived late this evening. Sweaty. Dirty. Unclean. Unshaven.

But mostly hurt.

Curtis, it seemed, was rarely home, and Keith could always tell the days when Shiro arrived after a fight, face puffy and eyes red.

Tonight was one of those times. “He’s a good kid.” His voice was wrecked.

Keith gulped, tightening his clenched hand.

“Yeah…” Noticing the black circles under his eyes, Keith couldn’t help it.

He needed to cheer the other up.

“Pidge told me, Shiro. Told me how much work you put in to all this, with me and Lotor. So, I guess what I really wanted to say was thanks.” Keith pointed to the laughing kid just down the hill, running around giddily as he was chased alongside Lance's niece by Kosmo. “That wouldn’t exist without your help, and I basically owe you everything for it, don’t I?”

Lotor was making strides. He still cried every morning during drop off. But now, as long as Keith could be seen from wherever Lotor was, he could playing with the other Altean children. It wasn’t for long, the playtime, but it was a start. 

Lotor had even spoken his first words to Romelle and another young girl in his class, named Mane. She happened to be Lance’s niece, a year older then Lotor, and had taken the young child under her wing, making sure he was never hurt when playing with the other children. She even asked Keith some signs to help out her Grandmother and Romelle during the day with Lotor.

It was slow. But, Keith was seeing so much progress in the child already.

He was proud.

Shiro shook his head. “You’ve done enough for me, Keith. I just knew I needed to finally pay you back… It’s not the same but I… I knew Lotor also wanted this more than anything else, but I had a feeling this is what you wanted more than anything too. ”

It was. And Keith was so lucky. Lotor was lucky. He’d been given a future, a chance he never had.

And so many others would never be given the same option, just like Nanette had said.

Keith eyed Shiro, then.

He could do this, right? He could ask? About it?

He was still mad at Shiro for what he did, for never talking about himself or his feelings or thoughts, never opening up to anyone when he was struggling, for moving on, leaving them behind, pushing them away after the Lions-

Keith would never forgive him for that, sure, but what he hated more was what they had become. Mere acquaintances after everything. It hurt. But with Lotor being around now, they started talking again. They too were making strides.

Who knows, maybe they could be all poetic, just forget it all and start over.

What a wonderful concept. Too bad this was reality.

And despite his own feelings, Keith really just wanted his friend back.

So maybe Keith could accept that there’d always be an ache in his chest, his heart striking every time he saw Shiro, whenever he had passing thought, hoping Shiro was having a good day.

That’s all he originally wanted, was it not? Shiro's happiness?

Shiro may have broken his heart, and Keith had to realize in some form or another, he’d still always love him.

Keith could accept that now, moving on was hard, sure, but… he wasn’t in denial anymore, running away.

He could face this. For Shiro, who was trying so hard to appease… whatever had happened between them.

He cleared his throat.

“How’s- Did you adopt the little girl you and Curtis liked? I didn’t see her at your place when we were there, or anything for a kid, really...” Keith made sure to look at Shiro when he asked this, trying to show he was pushing away their self-created animosity.

Shiro was obviously taken by surprise.

He didn’t seem to know how to respond, now squirming more from his standing position than Keith.

Keith saw the sad shake to his head.

“That’s why you’re lucky.” Shiro whispered, looking down at his hands. “They- the orphanage had trouble knowing his hours, knowing we were openly gay. But you-... you just come bursting into a room like the bright supernova you are, sexuality still unknown and you’re handed a child… We had to fight, and we lost- we-” Shiro was struggling to complete his thoughts, looking pale, stricken.

Shiro fell beside Keith, knees folded and looking like he was just about given up.

“Shiro,” Keith said, reaching up to hold his shoulder. Like how Shiro had always done for him. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s, it’s fine. I swear. I just-” He shook his hands, confused. “I just thought it’d help.”

Keith nodded, though unsure. He knew it was better to pry, especially from Shiro.

Shiro wouldn’t give him information unless he was comfortable, which, by his body language, he was not.

He looked to be mourning.

“It’s, we- I haven’t,” Shiro bit his lip, shutting down. Keith could swear he saw Shiro’s soul leave his body behind. Shiro wasn’t there right now.

So Keith held onto his shoulder, listening to Shiro try and even out his breathing. Keith could be his support.

Even if his heart didn’t stop fluttering, didn’t stop breaking, that didn’t mean Keith couldn’t have this.

He didn’t have to lose his friendship with the one man who meant more to him than anything else in the world… Keith turned to Lotor running around. ‘Uncle’ Lance had joined in on the game, all the kids jumping in a dogpile on top of him.

Lance was laughing, smile wide. And Lotor climbed to the top of the dog pile, one of the older kids, one of Lance’s many nephews, were holding onto him securely to make sure he didn’t fall.

Keith looked between Shiro and Lotor.

No. It's not how it used to be.

Shiro would always be a priority, high up on his list, but he wasn’t at the top anymore.

Lotor was his priority now.

But Shiro had always been considerate of Keith’s feelings, so now it was time to return the favour, listen, understand why Shiro pushed himself away. And maybe one day Shiro would open up enough and let himself to explain. 

Open up and trust someone again, something that he’d closed off and thrown away the key for years now. It’d take time, but, that’s all they needed, wasn’t it? Just time to move on, grow up, love, learn, and live.

Keith didn’t have to lose his friendship over this, from his own unrequited love.

Keith realized he didn’t have to run anymore.

He accepted it.

And from the red rimmed eyes that Shiro was trying desperately to keep hidden from underneath his glasses, it seemed like he needed a friend now more than ever.

Keith suddenly felt content with where he was, sticking by Shiro's side to support the other silently. To just be there for Shiro, even if Shiro hadn't asked him to be, while he watched Lotor run around, giggling the evening away. None the wiser.

It's as it should be, Keith thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope everyone enjoyed it  
> see y'all next week, for my second fave chapter! It's a long one!


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this chapter, along with the next two. They were so easy and fun. So much fluff and cheese. Heads up ;)

_“For if the world treats you well, Sir, you come to believe you are deserving of it.”_ \- Margaret Atwood, Alias Grace.

Lance woke Keith up the next day, early, and exuberant. It was Saturday, and Lotor had begun enjoying spending his weekend mornings watching classic film noirs with Keith as Keith drank his coffee before breakfast.

Of course, this was _after_ he woke up.

When Lance came in loud with pots banging, Lotor was less than enthusiastic. “No!” He yelled at the older man. “ Go way. We sleeping!” He called angrily from behind Keith.

He’d had another nightmare of threatening purple skin, waking up yelling and screaming. So Keith opted for Lotor to sleep with him that night instead of his own bed after having an accident.  
  
It usually happened once a week, typically on the weekend and after the full week of school when Lotor’s stress just melted away, rising in the form of a nightmare of vibrant glowing eyes and cruel claws.

Keith was always there to hold him through the nightmares, reading him stories about the moon to ease his fears.  
  
Now, however... “Well, too bad, Pal! We’re wasting daylight!”

Keith rubbed his eyes. “What’s going on, Lance.”

“I have plans, and we need to leave soon to complete these plans. So come on!”

“Can I at least shower first?” Keith yelled as Lance left, literal pots still banging away. “Lance?!”

“You have twenty minutes!” He shouted back.

Fuck.

Why had Lance not told him about these ‘plans’ to begin with?

* * *

  
Lance stood at the gate of his farm, smile wide and inauthentic. Keith saw straight through it.

When Pidge, Hunk, Coran, and Shiro had come through a wormhole, Keith’s confusion extended tenfold.

Lotor was in an Altean sling, tucked against Keith’s back. He was chewing at a small piece of candy, Keith letting him have the tiny, sugary piece due to Lance’s rude awakening and because Lotor ate all of his porridge. And porridge was the one thing he hated. Keith tried putting banana slices and peanut butter to make it better, but as he pulled out the peanut butter, he turned around to see the banana gone, rind and all… Lotor loved bananas, and Keith assumed from the Galra heritage, he didn’t mind the rind  at all, and it left Keith appalled. Which made Lotor laugh, which made Keith having to give Lotor a stern talking to about eating the rind and how it wasn’t good (he honestly didn’t know if the rind would affect a part Galra-Altean, but… better safe then sorry?)

Of course, it then became a struggle to get him to eat his _actual_ breakfast, so Keith extracted the piece of candy and began his bribe. If Lotor ate all of the porridge...

Business deals were business deals. And sometimes kids just needed a little persuasion.

Lotor chomped it down and luckily hadn’t choked. And after an extremely quick clean-up and swallowing down a granola bar himself, Keith set off to go find the Blue Paladin of old.

And here they were. All confused.

“Everyone ready?!” Pidge grumbled, holding onto her umbrella. It wasn’t even eight in the morning, but the sky was already blue and the sun was already high and her skin was already reddening. Shiro had helped Keith lather up Lotor with sun lotion before putting him in the sling, a white hat strung over his head.

It was cute, Keith admitted after Lance just _had_ to take a picture of the two. Lotor’s hair was finally growing out, and the colours of the hat and his hair mixed in the sunlight, making it look like Lotor just had very frazzled, weird hair that day.

“Laaance!” Pidge complained, stomping her feet. “Where are we going?! You know my allergies act up when-”

“Which is why I told you to take your reactine before coming, jeez! Onwards and upwards, folks!” Lance called, walking away. “How long will this take!” She yelled, hiking up her own backpack. “Lance!”

Coran joined him up front as Lance began to sing loudly over Pidge’s incessant questions.

The two made quite the pair in their ridiculous get ups, Lance in a horribly tacky old tourist outfit who looked like he'd just gotten back from a short vacation in Honolulu. Flip-flops, a backpack with a packed ukulele case, hanging from a carabiner, a Cuban hat, and loose basketball shorts. For some reason.

Coran was in a similarly strange get up, white short shorts and a flowing, handmade scarf for a top, with a huge hat with what looked like tassels rimming the sides. They both had the same had and sunglasses, singing away as they departed on the uncertain adventure. The biggest difference was that Coran had no shoes at all.

“Lance!” Pidge tried once again, only to be ignored by louder singing.

She didn’t know what was worse.

* * *

  
The hike itself was almost two hours into the Altean mountains. Keith watched as Shiro stalled at the back of the group. The older man reached out at a point, slowly, gentle as he touched a beautiful leaf. He hummed at all the greenery, watching it thoughtfully.

“Reminds me of my grandparents temple back in Japan.” He said when he noticed Keith's lingering form.

“Oh yeah?” Keith asked, hitching up the sleeping Lotor a little higher. The straps were beginning to make Keith’s pants fall from the constant pull. “Where were they from again?”

“They owned an onsen in the Nagano prefecture, northwest of Tokyo. It’s extremely mountainous, so it's lot like this, actually. We used to spend summers there.” Shiro sighed, holding onto the leaf and examining it.

The cicada like bugs were throwing Shiro for a loop, chirping their wings in the background of the Altean forest. His eyes sparkled as he took in everything, and Keith for one, hadn’t seen that excitement, that nostalgia, or that blissful look from Shiro in such a long time.  
  
Too long, if Keith thought about it.

Shiro seemed like a robot, lately; never emitting much emotion, his eyes dead and heavy.

Now? Keith couldn’t take his own eyes off of him and his contented energy.

“Just realizing how much I miss them.” He said to Keith and only Keith. No one else heard.

Keith knew Shiro’s widowed Grandfather passed away during their years in Space.

Keith had only hoped for Shiro’s sake that the elderly man had passed away before Shiro was announced dead.

Keith had no idea. He was given no information about Shiro’s family, with the Garrison saying they seemingly lost any information once the war commenced and bombed the original structure.

Shiro looked wistful, brushing the leaf before moving away.

They followed closely behind Coran and Lance as they went off path. Lance had apparently strung together cloth beforehand, stating he liked to come up to this place to relax every so often. He told the story about how he got lost one time, and ended up having to stay the night sleeping on a boulder, hoping nothing would attack and eat him while he slept.

The team crawled over stones and climbed on top of boulders, used strong tree roots to climb onto the higher ledges.

It was rugged for sure.

Lotor awoke when he heard the sound of water.

“Keef?” He chirped through a yawn. “Whats dat?”

Keith was about to answer when they came into the area.

A large, deep blue pool was set before them, steam rising from its place. Almost directly behind yet never crossing paths was where the sound of water could be heard. With Lotor on his back, Keith walked around the hot spring, seeing the cold, running stream, apparently from the mountains melted snow, rushing into the river. It flowed daintily over the large, sturdy rocks and pooled below before the current picked up and continued its way down the mountain.

Hot and cold pools, one beside the other.

And the cold pools current wasn’t strong, so Keith wasn’t too worried about Lotor swimming with him.

What a perfect scene.

When Keith turned back, Lance was already jumping into the cold pool, splashing Keith.

“Hey!” Keith shouted. “I’m with child!”

“Awwh, now that Keith is a Dad he doesn’t know how to have fun?” Lance prompted shaking out his hair, specifically aiming the cold droplets at Keith. “Oh right, Keith has never known how to have fun. Childrearing just proves it.”

“Ohhh, that’s it!” He took Lotor down from the sling, and quickly changed the boy into the swimsuit Lance had sneakily packed away into the bag. He helped Lotor into the more shallow parts of the water where it just went past Lotor’s waist.

The kid seemed thrilled.

So, now with the protection of the child, Keith swung his hand into the water, continually splashing Lance.

“Not fun, huh?!” Keith yelled. Lotor joined in too. Or tried to. He was more just whacking at the water, causing splashes that hit Keith more than Lance.

Shiro, Hunk and Coran sat in the heated pool, which was apparently not overly warm. Pidge sat on a boulder over the spring, reading her book with the umbrella over her head.

She didn’t need it, the forest provided the perfect amount of shade themselves.

The old team of Voltron spent hours together in those pools, laughing, and chatting away at ease.

It was perfect.

What a perfect day.

* * *

  
It was a little after lunch when everyone finished eating Hunk’s meal.  Happily now, they all were lounging around against the rocks, enjoying the steam from the hot pool.

Lance got up from his star pose, stretching his back with a crack.

Keith was surprised to see that he still had that first scar, from the night with Sendak, clear as day against his back.

He’d been a hero then too, Keith thought.

Lance grabbed for his pack, movements slow as he got up.

“Alright, well, I gotta hit up a washroom, all that walking and wonderful food finally hitting, y’know?”

Hunk opened a lazy eye. “Just do that in the cold pool, Lance, it’ll drift down and no one would be known the wiser.” Pidge snorted in agreement, the two clapping their hands from where they were lounging together.

“Don’t gotta go no.1, Hunk. I’ll be back in a bit. I think this one’s gonna take awhile.”

“Gross.” Pidge yelled after Lance.

“It’s human nature!” He called back, disappearing into the woods with his backpack.

With Lances absence, the group began to stir again, regaining energy from the power nap after digesting Hunk’s food.

Lotor ran over to Hunk when the big guy called him over, wanting to show him something fun.

Keith pulled himself up, legs dangling into the cold pool. Shiro was behind him, his own toes slipping into the hot pool. His eyes were strained, feet in the clear waters.

“Allura would have loved this.” He whispered.

Keith tensed, eyes going wide.

_Shit._

It was the anniversary, wasn’t it?

“I-”

Shiro was there, talking to him before his mind could take off by itself. “We figured you hadn’t fully realized it, still on the painkillers and all. But this was all Lance’s plan, said that this year brought so many changes, and the one meal under her statue was always such a downer…. Actually, Lance admitted to me a while ago that it sometimes caused him to fall into a depressive episode, afterwards.”

“Lance?”

Shiro nodded. “Before this year, his family rarely saw him, Keith. He separated himself away from them as much as he did us. And Lance feels so much, more than he lets on.” Keith hummed. He knew someone else who felt much more than he ever let on.  
  
The irony of it all. They just never saw it themselves.  
  
“I’m not surprised about it. Just glad he finally said something, and decided to change the event for the better.”

“If I had known-”

“We wouldn’t have done the suppers? I know, I said the same too, Keith. But we are where we are now. We can’t change it, just gotta live with it and be better in the future.”

“I promise, next year I’ll remember.” Keith had never forgotten before. He felt a pit in his stomach, feeling sick with himself.

“Hopefully next year you aren’t coming off forced leave and months in the hospital resting.”

“Or adopting another child.” Keith laughed.

“Or adopting another child, yeah, that too.” Shiro said in agreement.

They turned to watch Hunk on top of a tall rock where it was safest. Lotor was on his shoulders, holding onto his chin.

“Hold onto your nose!” Hunk yelled. Lotor grabbed at his nose, not really understanding the mechanics of pinching it instead.

“Ready!” Pidge screamed.

“Set!” Hunk and Lotor looked so serious getting into position.

“Go!” Everyone yelled together.

“CANNON BALL!”

The ‘splash’ was so large that the actual wave tossed itself over everyone. Keith’s hair was left drenched as the water lifted him into the pools from its power, since the rocks underneath him were slippery. He cried out and just allowed himself to be pulled in. Shiro followed with a laugh, swimming towards the others.

Hunk and Lotor came up for a deep breath.

Lotor shook his head, tossing off the drips of water. He patted Hunk's head.

“Moe? Moe?”

“Yup, 10-4, little buddy! Cannonball 2.0 coming at yah!”

Lotor was thrilled.

* * *

  
It wasn’t until a little later, when Pidge was showing Lotor how to make a rock castle with Hunk, and Shiro and Coran were chatting between themselves when Keith realized Lance had never come back. It hadn’t been too long, but he was still concerned.

Frowning, Keith toweled himself off, walking through the break of the trees.

“Where are you headed, Keith?” Shiro called. Always had to know where everyone was.   
  
He was good like that.

“Just need to walk a little, Shiro. Be right back.”

Keith found himself mindlessly walking, since he wasn’t entirely certain where Lance had gone. He climbed over the rocks in the opposite direction from where the entrance was, over trees and their roots. The trees were full and luscious and green, birds chirping, the sound of whatever the Altean equivalent of cicadas were making.

Keith saw a bush of vibrant, enlarged, pink and yellow flowers. He picked one quickly, running the root through his hair, tucking it safely behind his ear.

He figured Lotor would like it when he returned.

It was a beautiful day, Keith thought to himself as birds sung around him.  
  
No one should be left alone.

He climbed over another few rocks and up a hill when he heard the soft lull of music.

Keith saw through a small dent in the woods, that Lance was on his blanket, perched against a large stone. He strummed thoughtlessly on his ukulele, singing something in Altean. His reddened eyes were front and forward, facing what looked to be a photo. Keith could hear the shake to his voice when he noticed the tears from the distance.

Keith suddenly felt wrong, overhearing the intimate scene.

This wasn’t for Keith to see.

This was something purely private, innocent almost. Mourning still.

When Lance finished the song, he grabbed the photo and pulled it to his chest, crying softly.

He said words, between the object and himself, that Keith was glad he couldn’t hear.

Keith left then, allowing Lance the privacy to mourn Allura on the day of her death alone.

Lance seemed to need this one day to himself, before moving on.

Big words, bigger heart.

Keith left without a trace.

* * *

  
When Lance came back the sun was starting to fall behind the treeline, the group having already eaten their afternoon snacks. His face showed no signs of crying, and he looked perfectly okay. His bag was slung over his back, and that horrible Hawaiian shirt was left unbuttoned, crinkled and loose.

“Lance where were you? We were getting worried!” Hunk said.

“Sorry, guys! Guess I fell asleep! It was just too peaceful out there.” He smiled.

Hunk suddenly chucked the other a sandwich from his bag, pelting Lance straight on his naked stomach. Luckily the sandwich was wrapped as it fell onto the wet rocks beneath Lance's feet. “I saved you your favourite. I mean, I had to fight off Keith and his Mini-Companion from the depths of hell, but I was able to save it for you.” Hunk joked, picking up Lotor and giving him a noogie. Lotor made a delighted sound, playfully fighting Hunk off. Lotor pretended to growl as he showed off his ‘muscles’.

“I awh-most won too!” Lotor announced, Lance patting him on the head. “I’m sure you put up a good fight, and I know that next year you’ll be able to take on the Great Hunk and win.”

“Yeah! Hear dat, Keef?! I’ll fight the Gweat Hunk next year, when I’m oldah! And I’ll win too!”

“I heard him, Buddy.” Keith said, grabbing Lotor from Hunk and getting him prepared in his sling with Shiro's help.

“Alright, everyone packed and ready to go for dinner?”

Pidge groaned, upset about having to walk all that way back.

“Can I just take Kosmo? Keith can you call Kosmo to come pick us up?”

“No can do. If I can do this walk after having to rest for six weeks and with a moving toddler on my back, you can make do.”

“Ughhh!”

* * *

  
“It’s already been another year.” Lance muttered. They were around Lance’s wood table, fire burning in the background. A different scene, from the usual. They had eaten a beautiful meal, Hunk going for everyone’s classic 'Earth' favourites rather than picking something exquisite and alien.

They had all helped prepped, besides Shiro who was left on Toddler and Wolf duty due to his ability to burn any and everything.

Shiro had been okay with that result.

It was only six pm, but Lotor was fast asleep beside Keith, having spent so much energy today with little naps in between. He’d been able to sleep a bit during the hikes, but he was too excited to sleep well. Keith knew the kid was in for a bad night.

“Mhmm, so much has changed this time.” Keith said lying across the couch. Lotor was cuddled beside him, his toy and blanket in hand.

Lance was at the opposite end of Keith, also strewn out, his feet purposely in Keith’s face. Keith growled, showing fang. Lance grinned instead.  
  
Keith needed to find a better tactic.

Hunk was on the loveseat with Pidge, sipping at their hot chocolate. Shiro and Coran completed the circle in front of the fire.

They were back in their original placements, Keith thought mindlessly.

“We were all at a standstill, for so long.” Pidge said, looking at nothing, just relaxing for the first time in forever.

Keith noticed how she reached for Hunk’s hand, squeezing it. Hunk smiled to himself, holding her hand back. “None of us moved forward, huh? We’re were all just…. Alone, bearing the weight of it by ourselves. After the lions…” Hunks voice cracked. “I didn’t want to admit it, that they left… But they did, and I just wanted to pretend none of it happened. So I did. And I built my Empire! And I had some of the best years of my life, career wise, but man. They were some of the worst years for my personal life. They were so lonely…”

“But then Keith dropped into a meeting, in typical Keith like behaviour, making the entire world watch. The Supreme Courts and the Garrison started freaking out… and we started talking again.” Lance said.

“Because of Lotor.” Keith admitted. “We came together again for my son… I’ll… I’ll never be able to thank you all for that.”

“It takes a village, Keith.” Shiro stated simplistically.

“I’m just glad we’re talking!” Hunk yelled.

“It seemed like this year we’ve finally started pulling ourselves up and began walking forward, for the first time since-..." Lance winced at his own words, but continued on. "We’re getting better, guys.” 

“To Lotor.” Coran said, raising his own glass of Hot Chocolate, still shocked by the primitive use of cows from Earth.

“To Lotor.” Responded everyone, taking their sips.

* * *

  
Before the day completely finished, Lance promised there was one more 'small' surprise awaiting the gang. He was jumping in his sneakers, a small backpack over his shoulder yet again.

Keith now did not trust that backpack by any means.

Lotor was awake, barely after his napping, once again unhappy at the startling sounds Lance was making.

“Neooo!” He cried out. “Sweep!”

They had come full circle.

“But, buddy! Kiddo! Lotor!” Lance bounced towards Keith and Lotor, gently poking at Lotor’s chubby cheeks. Lotor tried to smack the invading hands away.

“This surprise involves you!”

“It does?!” He perked up then, stopping his attempts at hitting Lance.

“It does?” Keith said, unenthused.

He was definitely in for a horrible night.

“Last stop of the day is to Earth!” Lance yelled out. “To Earth!” Everyone yelled as well, Lotor too. Keith was left confused.

“Uhh- why?”

Kosmo appeared in Lance's living room, with his straddle and some luggage hanging off the belt.

 _Their_ luggage. What was going-

Before Keith had a chance to even ask, to even move off the couch, Lance and the gang jumped through a wormhole created from Pidge’s device, Kosmo taking care of Lotor and Keith. Blue bits of quintessence fell from the wolf and suddenly-

“Hey, wait!”

Keith landed on Earth on all fours.

It was the desert. He recognized the area. It was his desert, right outside his home. He was looking towards all the hills he’d called home as a kid.

Why did they take him back to the shack?

He huffed in anger, Lotor riveted by the wolf’s ability to travel.

“Moe! Moe!” He shouted happily.

“No more, please. For the love of God. Maybe to home. To bed. I’d like to go to bed...” Keith groaned.

He felt the others arrive after him, from behind.

He made another loud huff towards the group of ‘so-called-friends’.

“Guys, I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I’d really- Oh.”

Keith turned.

Lance, Shiro, Pidge, Hunk, Coran, Kolivan, Krolia, and some other members of the Blade stood proudly in front of the shack.

Well.

What was left of the shack.

Lotor ran forward, hands waving around enthusiastically as he took in the view. “Woahh!”

Woah indeed. Keith could barely talk he was in such a state of shock.

In front of him, stood a two story house. The exact same structure as his Father’s, just with more windows for walls on the second floor.  
  
Definitely a Shiro decision.

The chimney was in use, smoke piling away in soft plumes, the errant curls twisting towards the evening clouds.

What was new was the dog pen for Kosmo beside the tree, a new tire swing hung up high on the branches. Beside Kosmo’s new hut, there was a large amount of prepared wood. Keith recognized the wood as the ‘vartonian lumps’ that Coran had dropped that one day, already cut and ready to stoke the fire inside during the cold desert nights.

“We knew Lotor’s adoption was possibly temporary under certain factors.” Lance started.

“As long as you lived on Earth, with a home, you could keep him.” Pidge said next.

Keith, still on his knees, pulled his hands over his mouth.

“So, we got a hold of the blade.” Hunk was next.

“We used a mix of Altean and Earth resources. The best of the best, especially since those pesky desert bugs and Earth vermin kept wanting to enter during production! We quickly realized they hate the smell of vartonian wood.” Coran was enthused, rubbing his moustache with pride.

“The inside isn’t the same by any means, but we figured it was close enough to what it used to be.” Shiro spoke next.

“Shiro helped find the blueprints, and he worked with us and the Blades to build the structure while you were on Altea.” Kolivan spoke.

“Much to Curtis’ chagrin…” Lance rolled his eyes, whispering to himself.

Keith turned to them. “Is _this_ what you guys were whispering about!? Every night in the halls?”

Lance stepped back, hand on his chest, an Oscar worthy performance detailing his wounded pride. Shiro at least had the decency to act embarrassed, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. He flushed as he closed his eyes, eyelashes brushing against his glasses. His unshaven cheeks and chin were turning pink.  
  
The thing about Shiro was that when he was angry or embarrassed, his entire body turned red instead of just his cheeks. It was almost humorous.

“What?! Us?! You- you were using your Galra senses to listen to us, weren’t you!” Lance yelled with a point.

“It’s not using my ‘Galra senses' when you suck at whispering and are standing just down the hall from my bedroom.”

Shiro stepped between the two as Keith lifted himself into a standing position.

“So, you heard us, huh?”

Keith looked down to the dirt. “Yeah,” he flushed. “Sorry, it’s just. I know, too. I agree- I have to… grow up eventually, right lance?”

Lance tilted his chin in question.

“What?! That wasn’t about you.”

Keith blinked. “It wasn’t?”

“No that was about…” Keith noticed how Lance tinkered off as he pointed to the man standing closest to him, Shiro looking away.

“Oh…”

“He hasn’t been thrilled I’ve been spending so much time out here, helping build.” Shiro admitted then. “Was getting angry, when he came home to surprise me and I wasn’t there until the next afternoon. Got me flowers and everything… But we wanted your adoption process to go through, since that was the priority, so. Here I am. It’s been nice, using my mind and body again.”

Keith smiled then, was about to respond when he noticed her walking towards them, leaving the house from the final touch ups.

Krolia moved forward, arms out. Keith fled straight into her, holding on tightly. He was shaking.

She ran her nailed hands through his hair, so gentle.

His mother was back.

“Hello, Keith. I missed you.”

“I thought- I thought the Blades were being attacked!” Keith said into her shirt. “I thought you couldn’t make it for months! I swore-”

“We were, but we’re the Blades, Keith. We fought them off. And then Pidge and Shiro got a hold of us, told us what had happened after your mission… We talked to Nanette. And we helped build up your new home.” She spoke.

She pulled away from the hug when she felt a small hand at Keith’s pant leg, tugging.

Keith pulled away too. “Lotor, this is your grandmother. Nana, noni, granny, grandma, Krolia, You can call her whatever you like.” Keith explained, falling to his knees to be at Lotor’s height. Krolia bent down too.

“Gwand-ma? What’s that?” He questioned.

“She’s my Mom, meaning she’s your Grand-Mom. She’s related to you through family.”

“Gwand-ma… you awh the one who She-wo was talking about befoe, wight? In the hoss-spit-all?”

“That’s right, Lotor. I’m that Krolia. It’s so nice to finally meet you.” She was smiling kindly and Lotor was instantly compelled.

“You look wike Keef!”

“Well, he is my son.”

“I wike you, then.”

“I like you too, Lotor.”

Lotor pulled her and Keith in for a hug, Krolia stating how proud she was of Keith before they let go.

Kolivan walked up, key in hand.

“So, wanna see your new place?”  
  
Keith didn't know where to begin.  
  
He didn't think he'd ever see his home again after the fire.

* * *

  
The patio was new and unhinged; his father’s old rocking chair still squeaked from the wind, still alive and well despite the termites.

When Keith opened the door, the first thing he saw was the homey kitchen a few feet away.

There was a coat hanger beside the door, a small bench with a place for Keith to store shoes, and a welcome mat for Keith and Lotor to kick off the dirt. The house was one big room, essentially.

To his immediate left was the stairway leading up to the bedrooms, with two doors on either side: one for a bathroom, and one for laundry and cleaning supplies. Already stalked with broom, mop, and anything chemical to clean anything and everything.

“Everything is the newest and best appliance money can buy.” Pidge said as Keith looked over the laundry machines.

He turned back, flushed, to look at the kitchen.

It had concrete countertops, durable and easy on the eyes, built on white painted wood. The cabinets had glass doors, and Keith could see the already stocked pantries and dish wear.

Hunk jumped right in.

“All the appliances are the best tech out there, and super easy to use!” The fridge was placed right before the hallway, the 'L' shaped countertops following the wall. Hunk gave a quick overview of the oven and stove, microwave. It was easy, and the stove was too heavy for Lotor too open by himself.

And even if they were all ‘new’ Keith noticed the old style. They weren’t modern or with the latest, minimalistic trends. The kitchen was homey, with more of an older feel.

It was like his Dad’s old house.

Keith liked the island in the middle of the room with the sink. There was a bowl of fresh fruit behind it, easily in reach from where chairs aligned on the other side.

Keith turned towards the compact living room, just behind the kitchen table.

There was a large couch on the left side of the room, right against the wall, blanket sprung over the material. There was a small table behind it with a lamp, emitting a gentle light into the room.

A coffee table was placed perfectly in the middle over the carpet, on the otherwise wood flooring. A loveseat and a chair, just like Lance’s set-up in his own home in Altea, completed the perfect circle around the fireplace. The fireplace, already stoked with a fire, had mantle over top with a large screen TV. Empty bookshelves lined the walls of the living room, and there was a large space behind the chair for Lotor to play.

Keith especially liked the lamp at the end of the couch.

The entire set up had Lance written all over it. The comfy cushions, the colours, the blankets, the compactness of it all.

It was small and squished together, quaint. Comfortable.

It was perfect.

“Has that homey, cabin in the middle of the woods feel, doesn’t it?” Lance asked moving forward as Keith continued to stare at everything in awe.

Keith nodded, unsure of what to say. What could he say?

“C’mon! We still got upstairs! Not as exciting as down here, but still!”

The stairs were large and circled upwards with a railing. Empty pictures lined the wall, Keith figuring this was Lance’s way of telling him to take more pictures of his family.

Keith and Lotor walked hand in hand together. The first thing Keith noticed was that the wall of this hallway was lined with glass. There was no balcony, and it gave Keith a sigh of relief that he couldn’t open them.

“Purely aesthetic, my friend! I know how much you hated the ‘no glass’ thing on Altea. This was mostly revenge against your poorly choiced words.” Lance said with a smug grin.

Keith gulped. The first door opened to a child’s bedroom. A desk, a dresser, a chest, another bookshelf,  and a single bed lined the room. The bed was filled to the brim with toys and blankets. There was a rocking horse in the middle of the room on a kids toy carpet, underneath the window.

It was Lotor’s room. And the kid was unsure of what to make of it. Keith brought Lotor forward, bumping his butt forward. “I’m confused.” Lotor admitted, picking up at one of the toys, analyzing it.”

“This is our new house, wight?” Lotor asked carefully. Keith nodded. “Is this my woom?” Lotor whispered, running his hands over the blankets, feeling them.

“Yes, if you want it to be.” Keith said.

“We can always move rooms, too, kiddo.” Lance spoke beside Keith.

Keith, personally wouldn’t mind that. He didn’t like Lotor’s room being right beside the stairway. It was the first room by the door.

What if someone came in. A robber? A protestor against Lotor's adoption?

“Trust me, I see your mind working. This place is linked with the Garrison. Anyone tries to get in will be killed on spot.”

Keith paled.

“Not actually, but you get my point. Their social lives will be killed on spot because their asses will be sent to jail.” Lance said, patting Keith’s back.

“Keef?” Lotor asked, pulling at Keith’s leg. He made the gesture for ‘up’, and Keith bent over to pull Lotor against his chest.

“Can I still keep Bwankie? And the toys Pidge bwought me?”

Keith looked confused. “Of course, Lotor. Those are yours.”

“And if I have a night-maw, I can still sweep with you, wight? If I’m scahwed.”

“Of course, I think my bedroom is just down the hall. Anytime you’re _scared_ at night, I’ll be just there.”

“So you awn’t leaving me hee, alone?”

“No, no! Lotor.” Keith dropped Lotor down onto the ground.

“This is our new home, to live in forever. Together. Altea was only temporary. This is for me and you together..” Keith promised repeatedly. “We’ll still go and visit Lance all the time, and you’ll still be going to school with Laura and Romelle on Altea. We’ll just use Kosmo as a sort of… school bus.”

“School bus?”

“I’ll explain later.”

“So… this... Woom, is all foe me?” Lotor began smiling again.

“Yup.”

“Those toys are mine?”

“Yup.”

“And the books?!”

“Yup!”

“And bwankie, and Keef, and Gwan-Ma, and She-wo?!”

“Sure, buddy!” Lotor hugged himself against Keith’s pant leg.

“I luff it here.” He whispered.

“Wanna see the rest?” Keith asked, and Lotor let go, running down the hall, suddenly confident again. He pulled for Shiro’s hand, looking around at everything.

Keith and Lance closed Lotor’s door. The next room was a standard bathroom, with the one after that being differently shaped guest bedroom. Smaller than the others. Closet, bedside tables, queen bed looking out the window. It was smaller, but cute.

“I’ll be staying here for the next few nights, Keith.” Krolia spoke, pulling her son into her side, holding him proudly.

“Figured you may need help. And I’d like to get to know my new grandson.” She smiled.

“I’d like that.” Keith admitted. “Kolivan isn’t joining? He asked then, turning back to the group who was watching.

Coran had a fucking film camera in his hand, Keith just realizing as he got right into their faces.

“Where did that come from?!” Keith quite literally squeaked.

“The camera?! Why, it’s been here all along, Keith! Right from the moment we went through the wormhole. I’ve recorded everything!”

“Ugh,” Keith rolled his eyes, pushing the Altean and the camera out of the way. He turned to look at Kolivan. “You aren’t staying too?”

He shook his head, sadly. “Not this time, Kit. We’ve been on Earth too long, and I’ve been called back by Acxa to come help them with a relief mission.”

“Ahhh, nothing too troubling I hope?” Keith asked, skin itching to one day get back out.

“No, not right now. Just needs a little back up eventually. Nothing dire.”

Keith hummed, and turned to open the last door. It was the center of the hall, the first door you’d see when you came up the hall, perfectly straight. He opened the wood door, and came into his own room.

It was big, for sure. Bigger than most anything else in his home, and more bear.

Keith had his own ensuite through a walk in closet on the side of the right side of the room, which Keith now guessed was the reason why the guest bedroom was shaped differently. It was built indented into it.

The bed was king sized and took up a large portion in the middle of the room. The headboard, the columns of the poster bed were all obviously hand made, carved and almost as high as the ceiling. Keith ran his hands over the wood, noticing little knicks in it.

“All the furniture here are made from pieces of wood from the old shack.” Kolivan said then. “You liked to carve your walls, we noticed. And we felt bad tearing them apart and destroying them, but there were few and far between. So we did this instead.” He smiled.

Keith looked over every piece then, the two, too short, bedside tables, the poster columns, the small drawer with a TV on top of it, between the door and bathroom, the perfect distance from Keith’s bed.

Keith could see his own carvings, drawings or broken hopes scratched into the wood. He ran his hands over them

Things were so different now.

The bed, he then noticed, had far too many pillows. And too many blankets.

What was Lance thinking?

“Six pillows on each side! All different comfort levels since I didn’t know what you liked.”

Keith shrugged, honestly not knowing there was different sizes to _pillows._

“Yeah, figured you wouldn’t know. I did the same with Lotor, so the kid can learn about luxurious quality comfort from a young age.” He quipped.

Keith turned, grabbing Lance into a tight hug.

“Thank you.”

He felt the hug be returned. “Of course, Keith.”

Keith moved away, noticing another fucking handmade rocking chair (was this a theme?) under the window. There were two smaller ones, aligning the opposites side of the room. So no matter where the sun was, there’d always be light.

Keith smiled, falling into the chair, which was, also, aligned with a pillow and blanket.

He had to sit and take it all in.

Lotor came running back into Keith’s room and jumped onto his lap, carrying a new book.

“Keef! She-wo was just reading it to me. But he does not do voices wike you. Can you wead to me instead?” He asked.

“Ouch, the burn there Shiro.” Lance laughed, moving forward. “We have one more thing for you, Keith.”

Lance pulled out a small, wrapped gift from his bag, handing it to them.

Keith was almost appalled to take it.

“You’ve done more than enough.” He whispered.

“Not yet. This isn’t quite a home yet.” Lance blinked.

“What is it?!” Lotor asked, very intrigued.

Keith grabbed to gift, everyone gathering around and sitting on the wood floor or the bed as Keith held the gift. Kosmo pulled himself through the doorway, his fur being the majority of the issue. He laid himself out at the end of the bed, licking his paws, content.

“Lotor, want to rip it open with me?”

Lotor was confused by the custom, but did so anyways. With Keith’s help, they ripped open the present, looking at the contents.

There were two frames inside, Keith holding them preciously.

These were treasures.

The first was the one from today, just before the hike. Keith laughing and looking away, Lotor smiling so wide his eyes were crunching, holding onto that stupid hat that looked like hair.

The second, though, gave Keith a run for his money and took his breath away. Lotor noticed.

“You okay?” He asked.

“It’s the only photo I kept of your father and I.” Krolia spoke up when Keith gave no answer. “He insisted after you’d been born. I’d never… I’d never had a photo of myself before, didn’t see the point. And if the Garrison found out well.. I was worried about your Father. But he took it, and I kept it. Pidge helped blow it out.”

The original had been old and tattered, obviously. But the image was still preserved. It was himself in that old, red, baby blanket, just a few months old.

Krolia held onto him closely while sitting on a couch, his Pop holding his arm around her while taking the picture. It was a selfie, which Keith had to laugh it since it went against everything his Pop stood for. There was so much love in their eyes, happiness, youth

Keith was just beginning to see how young his Pop had been when he passed.

It was a startling thought.

“Thank you.” Keith said, looking at everyone in the room.

“It’s, this place is perfect. Like a cabin. Kind, comforting, warm… Quiet.” He spoke, looking down at Lotor. “It’s exactly what it needs to be."

Just how Keith liked, because it was truly the house of his Father’s dreams.

They made it come true.

Keith wanted to cry.

So he did.

And so did everyone else, wrapping their arms together and laughing and telling stories into the late darkness of the night.

It was perfect.

Keith was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its so fucking cheesy and fluffy and not realistic and so many things need to be said but fuck i love writing a good cheesey plotline >:) Keith has a house!  
> also, 1) i suck at math, its why im doing law, but i did all the math and it SHOULD equal out be have been a year since Keith left the last time. Let me know tho? or dont. I enjoy living in blissful ignorance with perfect math calculations.  
> also 2. im entering midterm week and the last month of hell that is school before exams and will be doing interviews for the summer, so I'm going to try and stay on schedule of posting but if I can't find time/energy to finish writing/editing, we may be taking a break. Sadly, school/work comes first :/ just a heads up!


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is mostly just Lance and Keith friendship/finally talking about shit, angst, hopefully heartwarming parts to ease any pain, and Keith!parenting problems, because I, an unmarried graduate student in a lesbian relationship (kinda???) with horrible reproductive health and very little possibility of ever having biological children can 100% understand the hardships of being a parent.  
> Proceed.

_“But when we are searching for an example of what we no longer have, we see it everywhere.”_ Michael Ondaajte, The Cat’s Table

  
The hot desert sun was falling through the windows in waves, light falling over Keith’s face.  He expected to have trouble now, falling asleep so completely alone. But Kosmo found a great spot on the other half of the bedding, yet still practically asleep on top of Keith.

Keith laid on his side, head resting against the massive amount of inane fluffy pillows. As he blinked awake, the pictures on the too short bedside table looked at him.

His family.

The creature’s tail whacked Keith in the face, somehow knowing Keith's thoughts, and he snorted. Okay, so he needed another picture of Kosmo.

He had an entire wall lining the stairway of empty hanging pictures he needed to fill. 

Maybe he just should buy a stupid, cheap disposable camera. Did they still sell those?

After showering and getting ready, allowing his hair to fall down loosely since he was too tired to do much else with it, Keith wandered downstairs. He smelled the ground coffee emitting from the kitchen, Keith following the alluring fumes as he moved half asleep. Krolia was awake and moving around the kitchen, finishing up the coffee in the coffee machine, while simultaneously cooking something delicious in a frying pan. Keith looked over her shoulder, noticing as she flipped pancakes. To the side was a full plate already cooked food: scrambled eggs and bacon and cut up fruit.

Keith was drooling.

“How-”

“Hunk taught me how to make the ‘Great-American-Breakfast’, as he called it.” She said quickly, shoving the coffee with a bit of sugar into his hands, kissing his head. “Morning.”

“I was actually going to ask how you were doing, since this is kind of a big adjustment for everyone, but I’ll take the breakfast first.” He joked.

She slapped his shoulder with a towel. “Go, set the table… Maybe wake up the sleeping Altean while you're at it.”  
  
“He’s part-Galra, too.” Keith grumbled pathetically.

“Oh, not him. Your friend.” Krolia pointed with her used flipper, grease flicking onto the countertop.

Keith turned to the living room. Oh yeah.  
  
Lance was snoring and drooling away on the couch, a heavy multitude of blankets surrounding his sprawled and starfished position as he hugged even more pillows than Keith knew what to do with.

Where was he going to put them all?

Lance ended up staying the night prior, since he didn’t want to make Kosmo do the long trip to and from Altea again. Keith and Kosmo wouldn’t have minded, the creature being in his prime and having the easy ability of doing so, but Lance was already practically asleep on the couch, wearing Keith’s own shirt and sweatshorts at the time the decision was made.  
  
Keith knew better than to pry.

“He’s not Altean, just a ‘chosen’ one to bear the marks… Don’t mention it to him, though. He’s still not over it.” She hummed, holding out plates and cutlery for Keith to take. “We never grow past it, Keith, we just learn how to live with the pain.”

Keith knew that all too well as his arms were suddenly filled with the easily breakable assortment.

“Hunk said we also need apple and orange Juice to complete the breakfast, and Mimosa’s for when your son is older.” She said, moving to rummage through the fridge. She was taking this considerably well.

She _had_ known for the past few months, Keith guessed. “Dilute Lotor’s please, only a little juice and mostly water. Or else he’ll have cavities and it’ll hurt his teeth. And in a small glass.” He called, setting up the table.

Krolia gave him a look, shaking her head.

Lotor was apparently already awake when Keith went to go check in on him. He was laying on his rocking horse, holding onto its neck as it rocked back and forth, his blankie huddled over him. He moved his head away from where he was laying his forehead between its ears, and looked up at Keith happily when he came in.

He looked a little flushed.

“Hey, Buddy.” Keith said. “Want some breakfast?"

Lotor seemed to be having trouble deciding: continue rocking or eat?  
  
It seemed to be a tough decision for the three year old.

“Yee-ah. I tink I wanna eat.” Lotor finally said.

Keith hummed, crossing his arms. “Feeling okay, Buddy?”

Lotor nodded stiffly, huddling next to Keith and hugging his leg.

Keith bent down, feeling his forehead. A little more warmer than usual, but nothing huge. He’d just have to keep an eye on the kid.

Together they walked down the stairs, hand in hand, Lotor tiredly talking about his dream the night before, saying how much he loved his new bed, that it was so much nicer than the metal one on Altea… He said a lot through his mumbled bursts down the short distance of stairs.

“Ko-lia! Hi!” Lotor made his presence very well known, very loudly.

“Hi, Lotor." Krolia turned with a smile as she bent down to his level. "How’d you sleep?”

Lotor went into the exact same rant with Krolia, Keith leaving him with her as he moved towards the living room.

He looked around and grinned as he picked up the only unused pillow in sight. Lifting it up above his head, Keith whammed it down onto Lance. “Wake up!”  
  
He continued his assault against the other, Lance instantly waking and spazzing out, trying to take cover when he realized he was completely knotted up in the blankets surrounding his legs. There was no escape.

“Surrender! Surrender!” Lance yelled, hiding his face with his arms like a soccer player during a match.

Keith laughed as he backed off, falling over himself when Lance grabbed the pillow from behind his head and chucked it at Keith. It hit him in the arm, Keith chuckling as he grabbed it before it fell to the clean floor.

“Go clean up, breakfast is ready and Lotor needs to eat.” Keith was almost in tears from laughing.

Lotor was watching them in interest on the counter, very confused but equally intrigued.

“Keef! Can we pay that?”

Keith grabbed the little boy and placed him into a random chair. “Nope.”

“But Keef!”

“No buts. Now we’re eating. Orange juice or apple?” He asked.

Lotor sighed, bored. “O-wan-ge, please."  
 

* * *

  
As the day went on, it was obvious Lance was having trouble leaving.

“You can stay longer, man. It’s alright. You did furnish this house, it’s the least I can do for you.” Krolia was outside, playing with Lotor on the swing. Kosmo was watching carefully as the two played, ready to pounce and catch him if he ever fell.

Lotor was quickly growing to like Krolia and admire her. He hadn’t yet used the name ‘Grandma’, but Keith hoped with time that Lotor would see her as such.

This was only the first day of knowing the woman. So Keith was happy with the fact that Lotor even let himself be dissuaded to play with someone who wasn’t Keith, and without Keith having to stand near and watch was something else too.

The fact that Keith was a near replica of his mother may have been a helpful factor in all of this.

Lotor seemed to have picked up a bit after breakfast, but his head was still a little warm. After playing with Krolia, Keith was going to force him down for a nap. No questions. But in the meantime, Keith sipped his coffee, leaning against a kitchen chair as he watched his friend.

“Nah, man, it’s okay. Your Mom is finally here to bond and shit with Lotor and you. Make memories and all that cute stuff.” His voice sounded rough as he waved his hand in a disparaging manner.

Lance, unlike Keith, was sitting on the couch, hovering over himself with his head in his now singular hand.

“Today is Sunday, right? So none of your family is on Altea. Just stay here,” Keith spoke, collapsing onto the couch beside Lance. The other looked like he was slightly shaking.

“Listen, I know yesterday was a lot for you. It was a lot for all of us. And you’re handling it so well, Allura-”

Keith instantly felt the air shift, having uttered _her_ name around Lance.

That's was a big no-no.

“Oh, please, you didn’t even realize what day it was yesterday. Don't give me that leader type bullshit. You're not the Black Paladin anymore, hot shot...” Lance gritted through his teeth, shuffling away from Keith.

Keith was stunned. Yeah, he wasn’t sure what day it was, fine. Keith feels his haunches raise, wants to take up the defensive; Keith’s been out of it and on pain killers for months since the going to the other Universe. He barely even knew what day of the week it was, let alone a full year had already passed in a true blink of an eye.  
  
But that isn’t what Lance needed to hear.

“Sorry, sorry…” Lance sniffled, running his hand through his hair. “You don’t deserve that, I know-”

“No, it’s fine Lance. I get it.”

“No it’s-”

“After my Dad died I blamed everyone I knew. It was never his fault, in my mind. I yelled at a lot of people, never made friends, and would just blow up at any person who tried to talk to me. What right did they have, you know? Saying that my Pop wouldn’t want to see me like this, that he would otherwise be so proud with how I was dealing with his death. They didn’t even know him.”

Lance sighed, finally looking towards Keith. He looked so old and tired. Allura’s death changed him. He never looked at another woman, never flirted again. The last little bit spent with Lotor had really brought out the old Lance, but they all knew he’d never be what he was. The same exuberant, loud boy that loved adventures and wanted to fly.

He learned and lived and loved in his mind. And for some reason, he felt that was all he needed to do, that was all he ever wanted to experience, and could die happy any day now...

It was quiet for too long afterwards.

Keith hated it.

“.... _It’s hard._ ” Lance finally said aloud, lulling his head backwards against the couch's cushion.

“The anniversary?” Keith asked, unsure.

“Every damned day.” Lance muttered. “I have to look in the mirror, and look at these fucking marks that she _gave_ me, in hopes that I could live a life that she never could. She lost so much and then lost so much more. She deserved so much better. And we couldn’t give her that. I know these marks are her wish to bring me happiness, to continue on with life, but it’s just a constant reminder of what I failed to do: save her, like she did for me.”

"It’s a reminder of your own guilt.” Keith spoke. It was the same with Shiro, whenever he looked towards Keith, catching the sunlight's glare from off of his cheek...

“I wanted us to have a life together. We got Daibazaal back. We got Altea back. Allura should be here with me. I hoped we’d have…” Lance looked out the window, watching Krolia with Lotor and Kosmo, laughing and smiling.

“All my siblings have that. It’s what I wanted more than anything, since I was a kid.” He whispered. Lance placed his head back in his hands as he began to cry.

The tears themselves were so silent, so unlike Lance.

“And you still can, Lance. You’re only, what, twenty-four? Twenty-three? It can still happen-”

The glare that caught Keith's eye made him lose all his words, stuck now in the pits of his throat.  
  
Lance was _sneering_ at Keith. “You’re saying to just move on from Allura? The _one_ woman I’ve ever _loved_ more than life itself?! She deserved my love then, and she deserves it now, more than ever." He was shouting now, voice getting louder and louder. Keith tried to interject, tried to stop him from his yelling, so Krolia and Lotor wouldn't hear them going at it. But- "How _dare_ you even try to tell me to move on, when she did so much for us! You wouldn’t be here without her! You’d be _dead_! Shiro would be dead! We’d all be dead! Someone needs to be love her for what she’s done, instead of just forgetting about her and moving on like the rest of you have!”

Keith got right back into Lance's face as they both rose off the couch. “And you’re worshipping her, living with the love for a ghost that’ll never return! It’s been six years, Lance. You can move on; you are allowed to move on.”

“Shut the fuck up, Keith, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lance's shoulders tensed, jaw set, looking as though he was ready to hit Keith if that's what it took. Let him, Keith thought.

Lance was enraged.

And yet, surprisingly- “I think it’s best if I go.” Lance stated in a short, small voice. He shoved Keith as he walked past, moving towards the door. Keith followed and caught his arm as they rounded the kitchen table, holding him firmly in his place. He may still be weak, but Keith was determined. 

“No, you’re not leaving. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“That’s rich coming from you, _Lone Wolf_."

“ _Lance-”_

Lance pulled back, throwing a poorly aimed punch at Keith. He ducked in time, but it still hit his shoulder's side. Keith hissed and through the jostling pain, he grabbed Lance's arm, throwing Lance onto the ground over his hurt shoulder, pinning him down in an instant.

“Just let me go, Keith!”

“No!”

“Why not?! I’m an adult, aren’t I?! I have a right-”

“Because you’re finally talking about it!”

Lance stopped his wayward attempts of trying to get out of Keith’s grasp. His body fell sullen.

“You haven’t spoken about her since she left, Lance. You only talk about her to your tour groups, about what she did for all realities. You never talked about what losing her did to _you_ , alright?! Never. And it’s the day after the anniversary, your parents aren’t going to be with you. I _get_ it! I know what loss is like!”

“Bullshit.” Lance grunted from his position on the ground. Keith let him go, moving to rest against the white cabinet of the island. The door of the shelf creaked against his weight.

Keith was out of shape and his shoulder now hurt like a bitch. Lance moved to follow, resting beside Keith, panting.

“The one love of your life is still alive.”

“And he chose someone else.” Keith quipped back, rather angrily.

“And can’t even look you in the eyes.”

“He can-”

“He’s worse than you. His guilt is so palpable that we all feel it, dude. He looks at your hair, your arms, your nose, your lips, your cheek, your ears. Everywhere but your eyes. If he does, he shifts and has to glance away. We’ve all noticed it.”

Keith had to agree then. Shiro hadn't been able to keep steady eye contact with him for... so long now. “Something’s going on in that head of his; it’s just that he won’t talk to us about it.” Keith tried to argue back weakly, trying to stand up for the original Black Paladin.

“To anyone about it, not just us… Never has actually. The idiot.” Lance stated brashly, banging his head against the back of the cabinet. “Heartbreak is a real and valid pain. I wish more people would understand that.”

“But you’re mourning, Lance. That’s a bit different than my six year long heartbreak.”

“Seven. Now. But Shiro- he knew you better than anyone else did, right? Probably still knows you better than your Mother does.”

Right on the fucking nail. Keith didn’t feel obliged to dignify Lance with an answer. “So you lost the one person who was your best friend, the one person you turned to for help when you needed it. The rock that supported you, and was the only person you felt like you could completely be yourself with, am I right?”

Keith looked away, long hair dragging over his shoulders.

Lance smacked his lips. “Then your heartbreak can compare. The only difference is that he’s still alive, and has chosen someone else and decided to push us all away, including you. And honestly? I don’t know what’s worse.”

“We really are alike,” Keith joked, feeling the painful emotions he'd thought he repressed into oblivion begin to stir, his throat suddenly dry. He ran a hand through his hair. “Never able to move on.”

“Seems like it… Keith?” Lance sniffled, voice low. “Can I stay here, again tonight? I- I don’t want to be alone right now.” Keith pulled Lance to his side, letting his head rest on his shoulder.

“Of course.” Keith continued to rub at his friend’s shoulder as he cried, telling Keith everything he’d been missing about Allura. Keith would chime in, bringing up his own stories, thing he too missed. 

It was hard for both.  
  
But it helped, Keith hoped.  
 

* * *

  
Lotor came in about half an hour later after the conversation ended, noticing Keith and Lance sitting against the island cabinets on the cold hardwood floor. They were laughing, but also crying. Keith was crying.

“Keef?” Lotor whispered. “Aw you okay?” He climbed over Lance’s legs, sitting himself right into Keith’s lap, hugging him tightly. Keith wrapped his own arms around Lotor to hug him back. “Yeah, buddy. These are happy tears.” He admitted. “We’re okay.”

Lotor’s head felt a little more warm, and Keith grew concerned. “Hey Lotor, it’s time for your nap.” Keith remembered as he patted Lotor's bum, lifting him upwards. He gestured to Lance, ‘be-right-back’, before carrying the warm child upstairs. It was even more odd when Lotor didn't argue Keith over nap time.

“Can I sweep in yo woom?” Lotor asked quietly, still holding onto Keith when he noticed the other opening up the door to his bedroom. Keith stalled.

“Sure buddy... Of course.” Keith quickly grabbed Lotor’s blankie and toy rabbit before heading down to his own room.

“I wike Ko-wia,” Lotor said through a yawn as they entered the bedroom.

“Do you? I’m sure she’d love to hear that.” Krolia never had a chance to play with Keith as a child. She was probably thriving now. Keith was surprised though, she never seemed like the nurturing type. Her love was abundant, but she was forever a fighter more than anything else. Her love was there, but it was tough. Hard and not easily noticeable.

Keith understood it better now.

He set Lotor down on the bed after getting the kid ready. He tucked Lotor tightly in with his blanket, just how Lotor liked, and puffed up a pillow behind Lotor’s head, Lotor having to touch and feel every single new pillow first before finally deciding on the ‘perfect’ one.

Fucking Lance. 

After doing so, Keith patted Lotor’s cheek, looking over the child, unsure.

“Are you sure you feel okay, Buddy? You can tell me if you don't, y’know?”

Lotor chewed on his lip in obvious contemplation. He then gave Keith a half smile. “I’m okay, Mr. Keef.”

Keith immediately raised a brow. “You haven’t called me that since the hospital.” His admittance was filled with obvious concern that Lotor didn't seem to pick up on as he yawned again. Keith tickled under Lotor’s chin, trying to get some sort of a reaction. The kid was getting warmer.

“I’m Oh-kay, Keef. Pwomise.”

“Okay.” Keith said. “Okay.”

“Can you wead me a book? Keef? The one She-wo gave me?”

“Of course, Buddy.” The book was in Lotor’s room, on his bedside table since it was used during bedtime the night before.

“Just give me one second.” Keith tucked Lotor in a little more before moving from the bed and heading down the hall.

“Wait- Keef!” Lotor called from behind. “I moved- Woah!” Keith heard a loud crash and a bang, followed by hysterical, pained crying.

Keith ran back down the hall, his eyes running over the bed. The sheets had all fallen off with Lotor’s pillow. Lotor wasn’t there either.

“Lotor?!” Keith cried, moving around the bed to where the cries were coming from.

Lotor was crouched on the ground, holding his head and his eye. There was blood coming from a deep scratch. From the way the table moved, Keith quickly guessed that Lotor slammed his head against the side of it.

“Lotor!” Keith panicked. The kid had never been hurt under his care before! Wh-what did he do?! What should Keith do, now!?

Keith was frozen in his position, hovering over Lotor.

There was blood everywhere.

Keith moved to grab Lotor’s little hand away from the wound, going to inspect it. But in his panic, he moved too quickly. Lotor gave a terrified scream.

“GeT aWAY FrOM ME!” He screeched, panicked, trying to become one with the bedside table. He was hunkered so low, shaking, and th-there was blood.

So much blood.

Keith didn’t know what to do.

He couldn’t do this.

He didn’t know how he could do this.

He wasn’t meant for this-

“What happened?!” Lance ran into the room, Krolia quickly behind. Lance skidded beside Keith, falling to his knees.

He noticed the frozen Keith, the shivering Lotor, begging for someone to get away from him...

“Lotor, kiddo? Hey, it’s me. Lance.” Lance began singing a song, softly in Spanish, an old lullaby from the sounds of it. His voice was low, the sound carrying over the shaking child.

Keith couldn’t stop staring at the spots of red, how Lotor tried to move away from him-

“ _Arrorró mi niño, arrorró mi sol,  arrorró pedazo de mi corazón._ ” Lance sang peacefully. Krolia moved behind Keith, holding onto his shoulders.

Was Keith shaking too?

“ _Este niño lindo que nació de noche. Quiere que lo lleven a pasear en coche_ …” Lotor began to stop shaking, but his cries were still hysterical, still hurt, his eyes still unseeing.

He looked over at where Lance was standing as he sniffled. Lance, taking the queue, gently placed a hand over Lotor, rubbing at the child's chilled skin.

“ _Arrorró mi niño, arrorró mi sol,  arrorró pedazo de mi corazón…_.” Lance finished up the song, Lotor seemingly back in this reality. He was crying, still bleeding. He looked more flushed, through the drops of blood falling down his forehead.

Lotor moved closer to Lance, grasping onto his bare knees.

“H-hospital.” Keith spoke shakily. “He needs a hospital.” He wanted to reach out to Lotor, to hold his son. But- he caused that fearful reaction, didn’t he? He didn’t want to cause his son more fear.

He did this. 

“You take him, Lance.” Keith commanded.  
  
“Wha- But Keith!”

“Take him!” Keith almost screamed back

Lotor began crying even more. 

Keith wasn’t meant for this.  
 

* * *

  
The trip to the hospital was quick, the ER allowing the crying, bleeding child to jump ahead in line.

Lance had to hold him for most of the trip, exchanging him with Krolia every once in a while.

Lotor never asked for Keith.

Keith remained quiet, silent besides talking with a doctor. He barely even noticed the smell of antiseptic. “He’s a very resilient little boy,” the Doctor said. “His head will be fine. But we did notice that he had a slight fever.”

Keith winced. He knew something was wrong. “Now no worries. But we wish to keep him over night. With the kid being from another planet, it makes sense for him to pick up something quickly here, his immunity hasn’t been built up against Earth bacteria and viruses, unlike when he lived on Altea- they have a similar strain of flues he’s already dealt with and is immune to. Here? Not so much. So just to make sure, it’s best if he stays, with your consent.”

Keith nodded. They were currently in Lotor’s little room in Galra pediatrics. It was much smaller than Lotor's last room. Only an overnight stay will do that, Keith supposed.  
  
Lotor was fast asleep, a long line of stitches running on the right side of his forehead, above his eye. Any closer and-

Keith shook his head. It didn’t get to that point.

“After that, I’d highly suggest starting vaccinations.” Keith nodded then too, agreeing with the doctor.

The Galran sighed loudly, patting Keith’s shoulder. “He’s a tough kid. And you did the right thing by bringing him straight here.”

“You didn’t see him…” Keith admitted, lowly. “His reaction, I didn’t know what to do.”

The Galra moved away from Keith then, observing the little boy. “Your friend told me what happened. If you want, I can give you a list of child psychologists. There’s evidence that he may be suffering from PTSD, since his previous history before you is unknown. If there’s likely to have been abuse, well… And, uhh, Lance?” He turned to Lance who made a little wave at the whispering pair. “Yes, your friend Lance mentioned that Lotor has separation anxiety? Even after weeks of going to pre-school?”

Keith nodded, Krolia and Lance sitting in chairs, watching the exchange with folded arms. Lance seemed to be taking in the conversation with delight, given his expression.  “Yeah. He still cries for the first two hours of me leaving. And he won’t play with the other kids unless I’m in sight. He’s getting better, he wouldn’t even play with them at first, but…”

“Then let me get you that list, Mr. Kogane, and a recommendation letter. It’ll be helpful, I believe.” The Galran doctor shook Keith’s hand, his own claws lingering from where they were placed just a hint too long.

Keith barely heard Lance clear his throat behind the two.

“I’ll have it all ready before you depart tomorrow morning.” The Galran smiled warrily, beginning to leave the room. “If you need anything, just give me a call.” He left, and Lance scoffed.

“Jeez, could the guy be any more obvious?”

Krolia snorted.

Keith rose an eyebrow, still looking over the sleeping child.

“I’m not meant to be a father.” Keith spoke, so lowly Lance and Krolia had to literally move forward in their seats to hear him.

“What? Keith, you did great. You calmed everyone down, got everyone up and moving, and got Lotor to the hospital immediately. It was exactly like our good ole' days of forming Voltron. You were great, man. Honestly.”

“I couldn’t calm _him_ though.”

“And you were supposed to? Keith, he had a flashback. He would have calmed down eventually.”

“Eventually isn’t soon enough. What if that wound had been deeper?! If you hadn’t been there-!” Keith almost yells, voice going high with panic. “What if that happens again next time? I turn away and he gets hurt again!? And he freaks out when I try and help!”

“Keith-”

“I’m a horrible father; a good parent wouldn’t have let this happen to begin with!”

Krolia grabbed her son, pulling him to her chest. She held onto the back of his head, petting through his hair as Keith pressed his nose towards her neck, hiding himself childishly away.

“When you were starting to crawl, I was so exhausted. You never slept and you had terrible colic. We loved you, but you were a frail child. One day, your Father was out at work, and I was warming up your food. I had the stove on, since dinner needed to be ready. Your father was so helpful, always, but I just wanted to have dinner ready for him once, and I still wasn't entirely used to Earthen technology. I wasn’t entirely focused on you, turned my eyes away for a few seconds, and you tried to get up on the couch. You fell, and you hit your head. Nothing horrible after everything settled, but Keith. Things like this happen. One second, that’s all it takes. And you can’t watch and hover over them of every second of the day. You were getting his book, he was tucked in bed, you thought he was safe. You brought him to the hospital-”

“I knew he was warm, too…”

“I’m sorry?”

Keith’s mouth just began talking all on it’s own, all of his fears flying off the handle. “I kept asking and kept asking, because he looked a little flush, and he was kind of warm, but nothing overly warm, right? It just wasn’t normal. I kept asking, and he didn’t tell me. He kept saying he was okay, it was alright. I thought after the nap, it’d be better, maybe more orange juice, soup for dinner, water, I don’t know. But it’s obvious he doesn’t trust me, so what right-”

Lance interjected as Keith moved slightly away from the tight hug Krolia had him in, his anxiety getting worse. His fears were probably tangible at this point, easily seen and noticeable by all. “Keith, buddy. You can’t blame yourself for every little thing that happens to him."

“I’m his parent, aren't I? Isn’t that my job?” Keith asked from the crook of his Mom’s arm, still hiding.

“My Mom had five children, and the shit that used to happen to us? Veronica pushed me down the stairs, I broke my arm, my Mom took me to the hospital. It was fine. Rachel got pneumonia when she was a little girl, and was hospitalized for two weeks, and my Mother felt guilty because ‘she didn’t catch on soon enough’, but she did! She caught it and noticed it at the perfect time, with five children around and so much more stuff on her back. This shit happens with parenting. Your kid isn’t going to die, you did as best as you could. It’s a learning curve, for yourself and for Lotor.”

“But that doesn’t help with the fact he didn’t tell me. I just wanna know why.”

“Maybe he didn’t even realize, dude. Maybe Earthen sicknesses are different than Galra, or Altean. Maybe he was embarrassed. He looks up to you, and I think he doesn’t want to make you hate him, with being needy, or something. So maybe that’s why...”

“That’s… oddly specific Lance.”

Lance had the decency to look embarrassed.

“My Mom may have told me...”

“Your Mom?!” Keith moved away from Krolia then, moving to sit down tiredly in one of the chairs.

“Yeah, Lotor was talking about you one day, and how he felt bad about always needing you, but felt more scared to let you go. He was worried that one day, you’d get sick of him and just drop him off somewhere, like-”

“Don’t say his name, Lance.” Keith was tired. Keith wanted to go home, sleep in his new, warm bed with his wolf and his child.

Was that too much to ask?

“What was with the spanish song?” Keith begged the question, not wanting to deal with anymore of reality's bullshit. This day could go fuck itself, for all Keith cared. His body felt as heavy as he felt tired.

Lance and Krolia gave each other a look before Lance understood. “Oh- that! I’ve used it for some of the Altean Children… and Allura, back when-” Lance gestured randomly with his hands. Ah, that time with the dark magic, then. Before…

“And it helps, when you’re in a bad place, I guess? Hearing another language can bring you back, make the pain lessen. So that’s what I did for him.”

Keith pulled Lance in for a halfhearted hug, knocking his own head into Lance’s stomach... “Thank you, I don’t know what I would have done if-” Fuck, Keith wasn’t going to cry again. His emotions were wild lately. “If you guys hadn’t been there.”

“Hey, it takes a village. And no crying on my nice sweater, I think we’ve had enough bonding moments in our lifetime.” Lance patted Keith awkwardly, unsure of exactly what to do.

“Can you sing it? Again? My mind is just-” going a million miles an hour and it’s all about how horrible he is and how he failed and what if Lotor hated him and didn’t want him around and- 

 _“_ _Arrorró mi niño, arrorró mi sol,  arrorró pedazo de mi corazón._..” Keith shut his eyes, allowing the simple words of the lullaby drown out all else.  
 

* * *

   
Keith was the only one to be allowed to stay the night, after much begging on Keith’s side. He also professionally dissuaded being asked on a date.  
  
His child was sick. The guy could have had better timing. 

It was obvious by the middle of the night that Lotor did have a fever, a simple flu that would pass quickly.  
  
And when he began to get sick, in need of a bucket, it was Keith's name he called.

* * *

  
Carrying a sick child home from the hospital wasn’t fun, even if the carrying bit was from the door to where Kosmo was sitting just outside. Lotor was sweaty, needing a paper bag every few minutes, and was still crying from the shots Keith forced onto him. It'd help in the long run. Short term pain, long term gain.  
  
Still hurt Keith's ears to hear Lotor's cries, however.

Lance and Krolia carried the bag of Lotor’s belongings from the hospital after signing out.

He honestly didn’t know what he’d do without them. He didn't have enough arms.

Getting home was an endeavor, and everyone went to work. Krolia set up a bucket and grabbed books and toys, and Lance ran out with Kosmo to pick up the needed cough syrup, children’s advil, soup, more orange juice, pop, and anything else he could think of. 

Keith stayed beside Lotor on the couch where the child was falling asleep, between intervals of getting sick. He was huddled in blankets, and books were splayed over the coffee table from where Keith had been reading to him previously. The child was only calm with Keith around. If Keith tried to leave- a meltdown was to be had. And Keith really didn't want that.

With a tired sigh, Keith leaned back into the couch, letting his muscles finally begin to relax as Lotor was finally rested.

Krolia came back downstairs, having taken a shower. She had been in the unfortunate, perfect proximity of Lotor when she was setting down his bucket.

Keith felt terrible. “Nothing I haven’t dealt with before, Keith. You were a baby once too, remember.” She said, sitting in the large chair beside Keith. She reached for his hand, rubbing at it in comfort. “You’re doing great, you know?”

He wanted to scoff. He also wanted to sleep. He’d done none of that since Lotor injured his head. “I’d be doing a lot better if Lance could hurry up and get back with the supplies. How long does it take to pick up groceries?”

Krolia smiled at her son’s worries. “It takes a while, Keith. You have to read in between the lines for the medicines and canned items. Also I’m sure he’s having to go to multiple stores. They don’t just sell everything in one place anymore.”

“I know. I’d just feel better if he got back soon.”

Krolia nodded in understanding. “When you hit your head, your father brought you to the hospital, since I wasn’t allowed to go... Imagine how I felt in your position.”

Keith shook his head, looking back at the sleeping Lotor. “I couldn’t even imagine.”

“It was horrible, not being there for your child when they needed you most. Lotor’s lucky, that he has someone who cares for him now.”

Keith wondered if the other reality’s Zarkon and Haggar ever went back for him. Did they care? Were they concerned? Did they feel the heartbreak?

Keith assumed not.

“Would you like a coffee? You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“That’s cause I am.” Keith nodded with a whisper.

“Maybe you should take a nap then.”

“I- I can’t. I don’t want to leave…”

“Coffee, then.” She smiled.

Keith smiled back. “Coffee then.”

When Lance got back, Krolia had a home repairs show on in the background, for noise, while browsing through one of Shiro's books. Keith was beginning to nod off, the coffee unable to affect him. The door opened with a bang, and Keith noticed with a jostle the multiple bags in hand. Apparently Lance phoned Hunk to help him finish grocery shopping via their communicators, since Lance hadn't shopped on Earth for quite a long time.  
  
Keith really shouldn’t have been surprised to see another stuffed animal in the mix.

He was going to scold them after, tell them off for spoiling the kid rotten. But Lotor woke up, and the look on his face from seeing the new stuffie filled Keith’s heart, as though he still wasn’t used to receiving gifts meant just for him.

Every toy that Lotor was given always looked like he was meeting God. Like the child could never believe these furry, nonliving, comfortable little creatures were for him and him only. He’d never had anything like it. And he remembered to say goodnight to each and every one, since every single one was important and special in Lotor's eyes, even the rice made sock rabbits from the Hospital made back in the early days.

Keith could let it go on for a little longer.  
 

* * *

  
Keith didn’t sleep in his bed that night. Lotor was cozied up and happy on the couch, so that’s where Keith would remain. His fever had broken, and the last time he got sick was many hours ago. He’d been able to keep down his dinner, and Keith could finally sigh a breath of relief.  Keith was too scared to leave him alone though, instead using the love seat on the opposite end of the living room as his bed quarters. Lance and Kosmo took Keith’s bed for the night.

Keith had to tuck his body in as much as possible to be able to fit, but this was one of those moments he was happier to be on the shorter, leaner side. And besides, Keith spent literal years using a dirt floor as his bed. He could live a night on a small yet comfortable cushion to sleep on.

It was nearing one am when Keith rolled over, eyes wide awake and heart racing. He couldn’t sleep.

He looked over to Lotor, noticing the little boy's eyes wide awake and staring.

Keith blinked.

Lotor did so too.

Keith cleared his throat, sitting up. “Need anything, Buddy?”

Lotor shook his head and Keith sighed, hand trembling. “You know, if you need something, you should tell me. It’ll make you feel a lot better, and me too. I’d feel really good knowing that-” Keith wasn’t sure how much Lotor could grasp, and how much he needed to lay it in. He wasn’t mad, and shouldn’t come off as such. And he couldn’t force the kid to speak. That would just be cruel.

“I’m not going to lie, Lotor. I want you to trust me, and that means telling me if you’re scared, or in pain, or upset. You shouldn’t keep everything locked up. That’d make me really happy, to have you talk to me.”

“But I talk to you all the time.” The little boy questioned with his quiet, night-time voice.

“Not like this, Lotor. This is about if something is really, really worrying you, or really scaring you, like it’s always on the back of your mind. You do sometimes come to me, and that’s great, but you won’t say why. And that’s okay, too. When it’s really bad, you don’t have to tell me, I understand. But I’d really like it if you if you tried. As your-” Keith swallowed deeply. “As your Father, I have to know these things. Because I promised  you, remember? I’d make sure you’d always be happy, and okay. And I want to be able to hold up that promise."

“As my… fatha?” Lotor said lowly. He looked like he was in disbelief.

“Yes. I want to do so much for you, I want to be the best I can be. And I don’t know what that means-”

“So, this is off-eesh-al?”

Keith was left perplexed. “Uhh- yeah- yes? I mean, I promised. This is forever and always official, Lotor. I promised then and I still promise now, I will never leave you. I may be gone for a few hours, like with daycare with Romelle and Laura, or a few days when you’re older and I go back to work for the Blades, but I’m promising. I won’t leave you. I’m not like... I’m not like them, Lotor.”

Lotor began sniffling into his pillow from Keith’s room and over his blankie. “So, if I tell you, you won’t be m-mad? Or get annuh-noy-ed? Wit me? I don’t wanna annuh-noy you. I’m…” Lotor looked around unsure, grasping at his blankie tighter. Keith came over to his side of the couch, sitting close to the little boy.

“Go ahead, Lotor. You won’t be in trouble for telling me.”

Lotor was quiet for a bit longer, playing at the tips of his blanket still. “I’m scared that if I annuh-noy you too much, you’ll hate me, like… Zaw-kon did… And I wike you, a lot. I don’t want you to leave… I am weally scawed for wen you know it too. That I’m bad and annuh-noy-ying, and you’ll leaf me!” Lotor was full on sobbing by then, Keith grabbing him and pulling him into his lap, holding the kid. “Shhh, shhh. Buddy. It’s okay. I won’t ever do that, okay? I know you don’t believe it yet, but I won’t let that happen. I won’t ever find you annoying for being scared, or talking about your day, or about your thoughts, okay? I want to hear about them. I love hearing them, and it scared me when you stopped.”

“I did not want to tell you that I did not feel good, this moaning.” He sniffled into Keith’s collarbone. Keith could feel the snot against his skin. He hugged Lotor more.

“How come, Buddy? If you tell me that you don’t feel good, we’ll figure out a way to make you feel better. And that’ll make me feel good too.”

“Weally?”

“Yeah, it will..”

“Zawkon didn’t like it… when I told him if I hurted, a lot. He was ne-" Lotor hiccuped. "Neva nice to me, and it made it hurt more.”

Keith patted Lotor’s back, keeping the whispering child close.

“I’m scawed you’ll do that too.”

Keith pulled Lotor away then, holding him within an arms distance away. He shook his head vehemently. “No, it won’t ever be like that again, okay? I won’t ever treat you like that.”

Lotor didn’t seem entirely believing. Keith was just happy he had that list the flirtatious doctor gave him. “There’s someone I know, who maybe can help us, Lotor. Talk to you, about some stuff about Zarkon. Because when you hurt yourself today-” Keith thought it over and guessed it _was_ yesterday, but that was just petty semantics to a sick and scared and crying child. Who cared, anyways. "You saw him, didn’t you? Or someone? Who’s hurt you before?” Keith was very gentle as he spoke, making sure to not let his voice become filled with the anger he felt.

Lotor nodded. It was jutted and obscure, the motion, but it was a confirmation. “Okay, that’s good. Thank you for telling me.” Lotor went in to hug Keith. “I’m glad you told me. But when you were scared, that scared me too, and it showed that I didn’t know how to help you.”

Lotor sat back, his big owl-like eyes obviously confused. “But you aw Keef! You know eva-wee-thing!”

“Not everything, Buddy. Very little, actually. But I think I know someone who could help us. So you won’t have those scary flashes anymore, and so I know how to react when they happen.”

Lotor hummed, nodding his head. “It would be nice, not seeing them any-moe…”

“And this person can help with that, but it’ll take time, okay? I think it could help.”

“And you would be tha? Wit me? And this pew-son?”

“Yes, I’d be there too. Every step of the way.”

“Pwomise?” Lotor brought out his pinkie, which Keith pulled against his own.

“Promise.”

Lotor snuggled back into Keith then, beginning to fall asleep through a sniffle, this time just due to his sick stuffy nose. He held onto the collar of Keith’s shirt at his chest. “Thanks, Papa.” Lotor whispered.

“P-Papa?!!” Keith’s voice cracked as his eyes flew wide open and his entire body tensed.

This was brand new and entirely shocking information. Did he actually hear that right?!

Lotor looked worried for a minute, noticing Keith’s heartbeat picking up.

“Is... That alwight? Keef?”

“Uhh- yeah! Yes, actually. Papa is perfect! You can call me whatever you want. I just- wasn’t expecting it. It was a surprise...”

A shocking surprise, to say the least. 

“Like Lans with his soup-pwise with my new toy?”

“Yeah, like that. And the surprise of our new home. That was all them, too. Lance, Pidge, Hunk, Kolivan, Krolia-”

“She-wo.”

“Yeah…” Keith’s heart skipped a beat with that name.

Today had been emotional.

“Hey, Lotor,” Keith questioned after a few moments of silence, settling down together. “Where have you heard that term before? Papa?”

Lotor shrugged. “On Altea. The kids were laff-ting at me, because I call Lans ‘Un-cal Lans’, but you as just Keef, even though I wive with you. And they laff-ted at me, because I called you Keef, instead of Dad, or Papa, or Fatha, or Baba, or Bapa, or Apci, or Papi, or Appa, or Babo, or Oto-san, or-... ” Lotor was stuck. He couldn’t remember anymore of the Earthen names the other kids and Laura and Shiro had taught him. “So I asked them what to call you instead.”

“You did that? You talked to them?”

Lotor nodded his head, very proud. “Yah! That night! When you were unda the twee! With She-wo! He wooked sad, though… But I asked then! They were nice! And help-ful!”

Keith was motionless, unable to speak.

“Papa Keef, I wiked that one best. You wook wike a Papa… Can I call you that?”

Keith smiled, proud and so happy in that moment. “I’d love that. And you’re right, Papa Keith. It has a ring to it.”

It suited him.

Lotor settled back down after Keith got him tucked back under the blankets on top of his lap, bringing over the bucket just incase. Keith was sitting up, guessing this was how’d it be for tonight.

Still beat be squished on that loveseat.

“Papa?” Lotor said after a long while.

“Yeah, Lotor?” Keith whispered back, eyes closed.

“Can I call Ko-lia 'Gwan-ma'? Or Nana?” 

“I think she mentioned that to you when you met, but yeah, Lotor, I think she’d love that.”  
 

* * *

  
The next morning, when Krolia was getting Lotor’s juice and medicine ready, watching as Keith aslept sitting up on the couch, Lotor blinked awake, waving at Krolia from his place curled up against his Papa. “Morning, Nana.” He whispered. 

Krolia dropped the spoon of the cough syrup, closing a hand over her mouth and tearing up as the medicine died the carpet red.

Keith didn’t wake up during the commotion of cleaning, Lotor laughing and continually calling Krolia ‘Nana’ to get a rise out of her as he leapt up from Keith’s side and dashed towards her.

Keith slept on soundly, a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PAPA KEEF! FINALLY! THE STRUGGLE HAS BEEN REAL!


	10. Chapter Ten

_“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”_ \- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Half a year had past since Lotor had first called Keith ‘Papa’. The Paladins were still in contact, trying to get together once a month in preference over their old once-a-year routine.

Hunk and Pidge had come out and finally said they were together, officially, Hunk wringing his hands together while Pidge just looked smug, saying the words so casually.

Lance stayed over every Sunday night, unable to handle the loneliness that Sunday evenings brought on Altea. Coran joined sometimes too, which Lotor always loved.

Every Monday, Lance would take Lotor to school with his Mom through a wormhole, while Keith and Kosmo would go and pick him up.

Lotor and Keith had begun going to a child psychologist to help with the early onset child abuse Lotor faced, while Keith also took parenting classes. The psychologist made multiple references, more than once, quite frequently actually, that Keith too should see someone, due to his own personal... issues.

Keith honestly preferred others coming to him to solve their own issues, and trapping his own feelings inside instead.

It had worked well so far.

Krolia had left back to Space after a month of staying on Earth, helping Keith finalize everything to secure the adoption under Nanette’s rules.

And now here he was. Everything was signed and printed and officiated months ago. But Nanette had gotten a hold of him, stating there was one minor (see: _major_ ) detail missing. The adoption would still go through, since the limitation had long since passed, but to create the official papers, she needed one piece of information.

It was a key necessity.

He provided all necessary information except for…

“You don’t know his birthday?” Nanette spoke extremely unenthused. “You’ve known the kid for how long now? Almost a year? Had him under your name for temporary adoption for how many months? I assumed you would have picked a random date! Have you given it any thought at all?”

Keith remained painfully still.

“Keith, how do you not-”

“It’s been a while, alright? I guess, I don’t know. Also he’s three, he doesn’t know his own birth date! How should I know?!”

“Well, how did you know he’s three?”

“He told me, a few days after we met.”

“And he said he was three back then.”

Keith looked around, embarrassed. “Well, he said he _just_ turned three. So I assumed his birthday had just past.”

“And how long ago was that?”

Keith gulped. “... Almost a year?”

“Is that a question.”

“Nope, just realizing-” Keith did not miss his own son’s birthday, did he?! His first birthday on Earth?! Did he miss it?!

Birthday's had never been a celebration for Keith. Even when his Pops was alive, it usually meant there was a minor difference in parting messages when he left in the morning and maybe a piece of candy when he returned.

Shiro had been the only one to every really celebrate, and well- after Shiro disappeared.

It's been a long time since Keith had thought about the Earthen birthday, and what it all meant.

He didn't want Lotor missing out on what Keith never had. 

“What was the date you two met? Do you know that?” Nanette was getting quippy. Keith didn’t like it when she got quippy.

“Uhh, November 16th.” It was on every headline in the Universe. People were still claiming that there was some sort of conspiracy, that the Garrison was hiding a truth, and that it was all an experimentation of social situations or something stupid like that.

No, nothing quite so exciting.

“So, given that he said his birthday just passed, we can conclude he was born in the early month of November.”

“I mean, I guess. I could try and ask him but I’m sure he wouldn’t-”

“He doesn’t know what a birth date is.” Nanette sighed deeply. “I asked, beforehand while you were out talking with Cynthia-” Cynthia was Lotor’s extremely knowledgeable Child Psychologist who kept offering Keith references for himself. That’s probably the scenario Nanette was meaning.

“Lotor just knew how old he was from his biological parents. They had a declaration the day he turned three." Lotor had reprised the scene once for Keith, pretending to be Zarkon, standing tall over Keith on the couches arm as he declared his son no longer two years old, but instead three. An old boy, in Zarkon's mind, which meanit training could begin...

“Lotor was out on that planet for three days before I found him.”

“Do you assume they would have brought him out to the planet, starting from day of his birthday? For the training?”

“No,” Keith shook his head. “I think they would have mentioned it, let him know the day before, giving him some time. I’d say just a maximum twenty-four hours, though. Nothing more.”

Nanette hummed unhappily, looking over the papers.

“So, November 12th, are we in agreement?”

“I guess?”

“Fantastic. Lotor’s information will be updated immediately and you will get the officiated papers soon.”

Keith blinked as he glanced over at Nanette's daily, tear away calendar.  
  
He shuffled in his seat, back so straight it hurt.

“Today is November 5th.”

“It is.”

“Lotor’s birthday is in seven days.”

“So it would seem.” She had a glint in her eyes.

The bitch.

“I haven’t done anything.”

“Nope, but I’d move quickly. Kids birthday parties are all the rage now a days.”

Shit.

Lotor’s birthday was a week away.

_Shit._

* * *

  
The rest of Keith's day was pretty much spent in a hysterical frenzy, standing outside of Nanette's office as he tried to figure out a plan.

Lance couldn't do anything, as there was some diplomatic mission and ceremony taking place on Altea for a week or two, Lance having to sadly deny Keith's request to help him out.

When the anxiety became too much, well-

“Shiro I need your help!”

“ _Woah, Keith, what’s up? Are you okay? You sound out of breath._ ” It was almost noon, and Shiro sounded like he was just waking up. Odd for the early riser.

“Lotor’s birthday is apparently coming up and Lance can’t hold it next week on Altea since apparently there’s a diplomatic alliance treaty or something happening over the course of the week. He said he could come but he couldn’t also throw a birthday party with everyone and their mothers coming to Altea.” Lance's words. Not Keith's.

“ _Okay_?”

“CanweuseyourhousetothrowLotorabirthdayparty _please?!”_

Keith could hear Shiro chuckling over the phone. Bastard. Enjoying Keith’s pain. He was spending too much time with Lance, or Curt...is… whatevershisnutsnameswasCoryorCurtainor- honestly, Keith just no longer gave two shits.

Truly.

“ _Can you say that as a proper sentence?_ ” Shiro asked politely over the phone.

The bitch.

“Can we _please_ use your house to throw Lotor a birthday party,  _please?”_ Keith gritted through fanged teeth. He had to go pick up Lotor from preschool soon. So if Shiro could hurry this conversation along, that would be fantastic.

“ _Ahh, see isn’t it better when the other person can understand all the words you’re saying_?”

“Shiro-”

" _Enunciation is truly the key to verbal communication_ -"

"Shiro..." Keith was gritting now.

The white haired man laughed again, low and hearty, deep from his chest. “ _Yeah, Keith. I’ll run it by Curtis, but it shouldn’t be a problem. When is it_?”

“Uhh…”

“ _Please tell me it isn’t tomorrow…_ ”

“No! Definitely not... Next week, though, but not tomorrow! November 12th. Apparently. That’s what me and Nanette decided anyways, fit with the timeline of Lotor’s story…”

“ _Ahh, yeah, I guess it was November 16th that you three made headlines, freaking everyone out… including me._ ”

“Shiroooo!” Keith whined loudly, taking a page from Lance's book. He gained a few stares from where he was leaning against his wolf outside of the facility. He let yellow sink into his eyes as he glared the people away. Keith huffed. “I said I was sorry!”

“ _I know you did. Always feels nice hearing it again._ ” Shiro chuckled. And that voice, the way it went low… It sounded like he was right beside Keith, pressing against him, breath hot and heavy into his ear and-

“ _Keith? You there buddy?_ ” Keith was tossed out of his daydream.

From the looks and the happiness filling his chest, Keith almost swore he was purring.

“Uhh, yeah, sorry, Shiro. Just out in public. You were saying?”

“ _Right, no worries._   He could hear Shiro shake away the confusion. "I _was just saying no worries about Curtis, he’ll be gone from this Thursday on until the Holidays, possibly even until the New Year._ ” That’s… a damn long time.

“Didn’t he just get back from a mission?” Keith asked, perplexed. He swore he remembered Pidge saying they couldn’t get together just last week because Curtis was _finally_ (and with an extreme emphasis on  _finally_ ) back and Sam wanted to get together for their monthly dinner.

Keith could hear Shiro shuffling around on his feet, Keith guessing he'd finally risen and stumbled out of his bed.

“ _He did, but he’s needed back out there._ ” It seemed like he was convincing himself more than Keith.

Shiro cleared his throat, Keith hearing as he scratched behind his ear. “ _So anyways, birthday party next week. I’ll get everything needed for the party! All the games, food, birthday gifts for the kids when they leave, and stuff, you just worry about invitations and getting Lotor over here._ ”

Keith stayed silent.

 _“I guess I should probably figure out a time... One pm? Is that okay?_ ”

“Yeah, Shiro. One pm is perfect…” Shiro hadn’t even used military time… “Are you sure? Shiro? I mean-”

“ _Oh, yeah, Keith! I’m certain. This will be fun. It’ll give me something to do. It’s so big here, I just- it’ll be nice to fill the silence, a bunch of kids running around. It’ll be something to look forward to!_ ” Shiro sounded overly cheery. Like he was hyping himself up.

Maybe Shiro needed this, this small, tiny purpose now… And wasn’t that a sad, pathetic thought. The once great Paladin of Atlas and Voltron, sanctioned off to forever stay on Earth. The one who once ran across the stars, defeated evil, and stayed alive through it all? Now forced to remain a lonely housewife in his mansion?

It made Keith sick.

“I’ll get the cake, though. And Lotor’s presents. I’ll get those too.”

“ _Oh, c’mon, Keith. You know that everyone else will be buying him gifts!_ ”

True. “Fine, but the majority will be from me. The kid is spoiled enough at it is.”

“ _Consider the contract signed. Let me know if you have any big ideas._ ”

“Nah, just organize however you want. I don’t care. Just don’t cook anything. That is my only request.”

Shiro whined over the receiver, obviously pouting. “ _May I chop up vegetables for dip?_ ”

“As long as a stove is not turned on, that is fine.”

“ _You drive a tough bargain, Kogane._ ”

“It’s what I’m known for.” Keith laughed. His ringer went off just then, Kosmo perking up from where he was laying on the sidewalk, trying to sleep. People kept walking by, whispering and pointing, and Kosmo was not taking it lightly. He actually hated the attention he received, as usually it was surrounded with curiosity, confusion, and an assortment of negative emotions that Kosmo always picked up on.

Jeez. It was like no one had ever seen a cosmic wolf before, of his stature nonetheless.

Keith rolled his eyes as he noticed a woman's pointed disgust, her long finger nail striking right towards himself and Kosmo as she entered another store.

Keith humphed as the ringer went off again.

“Oh, shit. Gotta go pick up Lotor now. But yeah, just do whatever you want, I trust you, you’ll kill it.” Keith was astounded by the sincerity of his own words. Being rushed to pick up his child did wonders to him.

“Y _eah, of course Keith. I love the little guy, it’s the least I could do._ ”

“No, thank you, Shiro. This will really mean a lot to him since he missed Halloween.”

He heard Shiro's little ' _oh no_ ' over the line before Shiro pressed right back into the phone, asking Keith questions from his concern. “ _Oh, no- he was so excited! Was it anoth_ _er flu_?”

Keith nodded even if Shiro couldn't see him. “Yeah, been having a bunch since coming to Earth, new sicknesses and all. But Hunk and Lance built fake house sets on Altea, and we walked around one night pretending to each be a new person to hand out candy, so he got the gist of the Holiday and still got candy… Just with a lot more effort on our part.”

Shiro smiled over the phone. Shiro's laugh was always something genuine, low, coming right from his soul. Keith had always loved the sound.

And he felt his nether region begin to stir from it...

Fuck, it had been awhile. Keith needed to get reacquainted with his right hand again…

“ _What was he again?_ ”

“Kaltenecker.” Keith scoffed, pulling away from his head's stupid, needy, useless, inane fantasies. “Imagine! Having everything at your disposal, and you choose to be a cow!”

“ _A cow that was abducted to Space._ ”

“Still a cow! But anyways, did you get any kids?”

Keith could hear Shiro falling quiet. “ _Uhh,"_  He coughed, Keith reeling from the complete one-eighty in Shiro's demeanor. " _W_ - _well, funny story. I opened the gates, and had help with decorations_ -”

“Yeah, Pidge sent me a picture. It looked great!”

“ _Yeah, took days of work as usual, but anyways. Bought all of  the candy, had everything ready and uh..._ ”

“No kids?”

“ _No, guess the property just looked too scary this year. Or was probably too far out of the way, and parents just couldn't make the drive for once_.”

“Well you usually get all of the kids, don’t you?” Shiro's mansion usually had a newspaper spot after Halloween from all the attention it brought, especially when they hosted the Haunted House, which Shiro had opted out of for the first time in years.

“ _Yeah, we usually get a lot. They love the decorations._ ”

“That’s… odd.”

“ _Yeah, but no big deal. Next year, right?_ ” Shiro laughed, a sad hope, and Keith quirked a brow. He was hiding something. This wasn’t the full story.

The phone rang again.

“Shit! Sorry Shiro, I really need to go, thanks again, and I’ll get in touch later. Bye!”

He had to cut Shiro's half goodbye off as he grabbed onto Kosmo, the two making just in time as Romelle walked outside, Lotor holding onto her leg before flying down the stairs into Keith’s awaiting arms.

* * *

  
Keith quickly sent out a message to the rest of the Paladins and the Blade members, letting them know about the party details. One pm, the upcoming Saturday, while profusely apologizing. He didn’t know the kid’s birthday, all right? And after a little bit of canoodling, he realized that Nanette was in fact correct, and Lotor had no idea what a birthday was, and did only know his own age due to Zarkon’s declaration.

Since Pidge knew how to use every aspect of a computer, she placed herself on Invitation duty. She had them done up, holographed, and sent out to all the Altean children’s families from Lotor’s preschool, including Romelle and Laura, and even Nanette.

Keith didn’t want to think about it.

She only sent Keith the time and information, and the fact she was making it into a surprise party, since Lotor still had no idea what a birthday party was.

Lance was less than thrilled that he’d been demoted from the awesomeness that is Invitation-Card making.

He said he could have made it into an afternoon crafts for the pre-school after Lotor left. 

Keith rolled his eyes at that.

Pidge sent the number of possible people coming to the party over the Shiro and not Keith, probably to save him from the anxiety and stress of it all.

He'd never been the social butterfly.

All he knew was that everyone quickly responded to Pidge or was bombarding Lance, asking about gifts, what Lotor wanted, what he liked, which made Keith realize: he hadn’t told Lotor. Was it a good idea not to tell a high anxiety child that he was having a surprise party with all his friends and family and having all the attention on him?

Should Keith tell him?

Keith dropped down his communicator over the onslaught of messages as he looked over from where he was cooking dinner. Lotor shuffled around the living room, having set up chairs from the kitchen and placing certain animals on them, pretending to be an astronaut, flying to the moon with each other from the front of his pretend space-ship.

Keith decided then that no, he wouldn’t. He’d say it was a party, Lotor would love it, and all his family and friends were coming.

He didn’t have to say it was for Lotor specifically.  
  
A surprise could do the kid some good.

* * *

  
The day of the party, and Keith was rushing around, extremely stressed. He’d snuck out of the house the night prior with Kosmo while his Mother watched over the sleeping Lotor, helping Shiro set most everything up. Shiro said there was some minor adjustments he had wanted to do, and Keith needed to get home. But otherwise, all the gifts were in place, the cake would be picked up in the morning, and everything looked pretty good at that point, if not a little bland and normal for a birthday party.

Now he just needed to get Lotor there.

“Remember? It’s that party I told you about? It’s really important, and everyone would love if you went!” Keith wasn’t against begging in this situation.

"But-” Lotor pouted, biting at his lip. He was very upset at the idea of having to leave his game. “I was about to get to the moon.”

“Well, you can get to them moon when you get back, it takes a while to get there anyways. We need to go, Lotor. So please, let's go get ready.”

Lotor put up a fight, wanting to stay- couldn't he stay here alone with Kosmo while Keith went to the stupid party? Keith had to essentially beg the upset child out the door after cleaning him up, getting him in his ‘nice outfit’ that Lance picked out. Little black pants, with a white dress shirt that made it look like he was also wearing black suspenders, susceptible in the fabrics. Lance bought him a small black bowtie, and a white cuban hat to put over his ever growing hair.

The kid was reduced to pouts and arm crossing when Keith grumbled to Kosmo, the three landing right outside Shiro’s house. Keith knew they were the last to arrive from Shiro’s (and everyone's) overload of texts.

Keith stood at the door, holding onto Lotor one last time as he quickly explained what was going to occur.

“Okay, Lotor, there’s going to be a lot of people. Are you going to be okay with that?” Keith asked for the upteenth time that morning, his breath heavy as he panted.

Was Lotor going to be okay- Jeez, was Keith going to be okay? He felt like he was about to have a heart attack, suddenly unsure if the surprise party had been a smart move.

Everyone including Cynthia and Pidge and Nanette and Laura and Lance and Shiro and Coran and just- anyone who was anyone with meaning in Lotor's life thought it was a good idea! But now Keith was extremely hesitant and freaking out.

This was what he deserved for trying to do something nice for his child and going against all instincts.

“I’ll be fine, I guess.” Lotor huffed with attitude. He was still forever upset about being taken away from his game.

Keith huffed, standing with stiff shoulders as he rang the doorbell, Lotor in his arms and hanging on his hip. It was awkward with Lotor's bag of supplies hanging over his shoulder- most of which would remain unused. But Keith could never be over prepared with a child, so...

Shiro opened the door almost immediately, looking flushed.

“Hey, Kiddo! How’re you?!” Shiro asked, overly hyped and embarrassed. He looked like he ran to the door and, like Keith, was out of breath, face beat red.

He was about as good at lying as Keith was. They all needed acting lessons from Lance.

Lotor quirked a brow. “Fine…” He admitted, uncertain. “I wanted to pay Ass-tero-not, but Papa said it takes a long time to go to the moon, so after we get back tonight, to home, I’ll be weady to land!”

“Well, your father is a very intelligent man," Keith flushed even further, turning his face away as Shiro continued on, oblivious. "-so I think he knows best. You’ll be landing in a few hours.”

Shiro went to go grab Keith’s stuff on his shoulder. Keith, in his anxiety, thought it was something else, and went in for a side hug.

The outcome was awkward, and Shiro's red look became even darker, Lotor weirdly trapped in the middle of the two. The child wiggled in between them both, Keith dropping him down onto the floor. He looked over the hallway, noticing the curtains were down, blackening the room, devoid of all light.

Lotor held out a confused hand to Keith.

“This was supposed to be a paw-tee, wight, Papa? Lotor asked, stalling for a second to grab Shiro’s hand too, leading the two men into the living room.

Keith could hear the quiet giggles of the other toddlers, having to be quiet.

He heard an expectant 'shhhh!' from a parent, apparently hiding behind the couch.

Lotor didn't seem to notice a thing. “It is a party, Lotor,” Keith spoke up.

“Then where-”

“SURPRISE!!!” The lights turned on and the curtains went up, filling the room with light. Everyone was there, running up to Lotor. People were singing Happy Birthday, and there was a custom banner that had not been there the night prior. Keith could see all the custom moons, stars, and rocketships over all the birthday items, and stickers and streamers attached to walls and the windows.

It was a space themed party. With lots of stickers and photos of the moon.

It was perfect.

And a total surprise to even Keith himself.

Now he understood Shiro's rush to get him out of there last night.

Lotor was in shock, standing with his hands over his mouth. Keith bent down, rubbing his back.

“Happy Birthday, Lotor.” Keith whispered. Lotor was reading the ‘Happy Birthday Lotor’ custom banner, running over the windows, that somehow attached to the ceiling. The kid still couldn’t read the English roman alphabet well, but he knew his name.

He could read that any day.

“For me?” Lotor whispered to Keith, looking at him with wide, puppy like eyes.

“All for you. It’s your birthday. So we did a surprise party.... Do you like it?” Keith questioned, unsure.

“Wike it?” Lotor turned back to the living room, exclaiming with wide arms, “I luff it! Thank you, Papa! Thank you, She-wo!” He hugged both of their legs tightly, before running from Keith, making rounds of the room, hugging everyone once and then twice again.

The little Altean girls a year a head of Lotor found it adorable.

Lotor’s smile never left his face, and only grew ten times larger when Hunk brought out the two-tier, Space themed cake, complete with a picture of a wolf and a boy riding a star towards the moon.

Lance caught it all on camera as Keith held Lotor on his lap, Lotor holding Shiro’s hand as everyone sung Happy Birthday. Lotor, with the help of Keith, blew out all of the candles in one go.

“Ohh, no girlfriends!”

Keith rolled his eyes.

“Lance!”

"Or boyfriends, I guess?"

Keith huffed, Lance grinning as he knew he got under the other's skin.

* * *

  
Lotor apparently loved Hunk's cake, almost as much as he loved Hunk's cookies. He wanted another slice, to share with Keith, which Keith had to sadly put his foot down on. The sugar and the excitement would not be a good mix for Lotor later on, and the one piece was good enough for now.

Lotor was on Keith’s lap as everyone sat at the table, Keith bouncing him on his knees as Keith dipped a carrot slice in ranch dressing, his arms shaking a bit from everyone trying to talk to him. He was crowded. And it had been a continuous thing since the party had began. There had been no free time to take a breather.

If Keith was a smoker, this would be a the time to run out and do so.

“Everything alright, Keith?” It was Shiro, suddenly, a saviour in the dark coming to his rescue. Keith felt himself breathe. “You’re looking a little anxious.”

Keith gave a half-hearted chuckle, excusing himself from a conversation with Romelle and Lance’s niece, Mane. He turned to look at Shiro. “Just a bit overwhelmed, I guess.”

“Maybe go splash some cool water on your face, that always helps me.”

Keith had considered that. “Yeah, I should, but the bathrooms on the main floor are in use.”

Shiro looked around the room, noticing the two closed doors on opposite ends, a short line beginning to form.

“Ahh, well, why don’t you give me Lotor, and you go upstairs? There’s one just down the hall, and if that one is in use too, the master bedroom is open. Just for you though, no one else.”

Keith smiled, beginning to get out of the seat. “Thanks, Shiro. It’s been a lot today, being the center of attention all the time... Don't know how anyone does this.” He admitted. He knew Lance loved it, Allura even having her moments when she was alive too. But Keith-

“He loves it, though.” Shiro said. “But you, however, don’t. And I know you. You'll stick it out if it means he has a good time. But, I think a quick break will do you good.”

Lotor went happily into Shiro’s arms as Shiro took Keith’s place at the table.

Feeling the anxiety of being around so many people hitching, Keith stretched his limbs, and quickly dashed up the stairs to get away from all the noise as he saw a few more Alteans beginning to approach him, wanting to talk from the peripheral of his eye. Keith had escaped just in time, Shiro now taking over on talking duty.

It was instantly quieter, and Keith felt himself take a relax, muscles loosening as he held his chest. His braid fell from over his shoulder and he banged his head back, hitting the archway of the lengthy corridor. He leaned against the wall, taking in the moment of peace.

He couldn’t find the other bathroom in the maze, but Shiro’s room, the master bedroom, was to the immediate right, so Keith quickly went there and did his business, splashing his face with cool water. He took a few extra moments to try and bring energy back to himself before returning downstairs.

Children could be so loud.

He didn't understand how Laura and Romelle did it every day.

Walking out, he took notice of Shiro's room. The bathroom and the bedroom, much like everywhere else, was up to date, modern, cold and minimalistic.

It did, surprisingly, have some Japanese traditional looks to it, the bedding and the closet space within the walls, but the scheme didn’t mesh well with the tech, Keith thought. 

He left the room and closed the door. As he walked down the hall, going back the way he came, he noticed a room he hadn't noticed before, the door slightly ajar.

The light pastel blues of the bedroom caught Keith’s eyes, being the only room with colours and not shades in this weird ass, futuristic house.

He wanted to move away, but he felt frozen to his spot. The blue was intensifying under the lights.

So pushing his hand out, even knowing against all better judgement that he shouldn't, Keith opened the door.

Inside was a brown, wooden crib on white carpet.

There was a changing station on the other side, with drawers underneath. Keith could see the overflowing assortment of  diapers and wipes and clothes and soothers and swaddles.

There were a few packages of baby linens on the crib, with a blanket and stuffed toys.

A book shelf, already filled with an assortment of books, and a banner that said, ‘Welcome Home Baby’.

The faint blues of the walls were covered with rainbow and animal and shape stickers beside the crib. There was a mobile above the bedding with toy lions and tigers and bears and zebras. It stayed completely motionless.

There was a rocking chair beside the shelf, and behind the rocking chair was a window and a curtain, with painted trees and animals around the window sill, making a sort of idyllic scene in the bedroom.

The rocking chair had papers on it, and from his place, Keith could already see the red stamped ‘rejection’.

He noticed the dust that blanketed over the furniture then, and Keith closed the door, hating himself for seeing something so intimate and secretive.

He should have known.

It was obvious.

This was who Nanette was talking about.

 _'Not everyone gets a chance…_ ’

He went back downstairs. He hid behind the wall from where the stairs met ground, secretly watching Shiro, seeing him so relaxed and happy, Lotor telling him something with a smile while on his lap. Shiro had to bend down a bit to hear Lotor's words, happy as he did so.

The two made a nice picture, as though it was how it should be.

Keith left them together a little while longer and went back up sit on the stairs. Keith held his head in his hands, anxiety still there but for entirely different reasons.

Now Keith was contemplating whether he should even bring it up or not.

Shiro looked so happy, but Keith knew, had always known, the facade of Shiro's mask always kept firmly in place.

Shiro liked to pretend to be a hero, maybe for himself and his sickness, maybe from his own inner stubbornness, his need to show off and determination to prove that he  _could._

Either way, it was obvious: Shiro wanted to be that hero for someone else, had been a hero for everyone else, and in Shiro's eyes, hero's never broke.

Especially in front of their peers.

Never.

* * *

  
A while later, and Keith managed to calm himself down enough to return, just in time for presents.

Keith was quickly handed back his child, Shiro's grin tight as he did so. Keith grimaced when he turned away, back to the living room.

Now wasn't the best time, Keith reminded himself.

Presents, it turned out, was an overwhelming affair. There was no way Lotor was going to be able to get through them all. There was well over sixty people here, each who brought one or two gifts, most of which was luckily food based, since Keith was slowly losing housing space.

Keith would have to thank Pidge again for not showing him the guest list, but figured he’d have to ask for it now to do up _Thank You_ Letters like his Pops always wrote after Christmas.

That seemed like the adult thing to do, anyways. 

They did gifts in small assortments instead, from the Blades and then the Altean guests, the humans, and then deciding to do Family members and Paladins later, probably a few days after the party anyways, or even perhaps later that evening. Who knew. Keith had to help Lotor open the presents, ripping the wrapping papers of the boxed gifts.

Lotor felt initially bad, saying that with all the hard work that went into wrapping the gifts, why would they want to ruin them? He almost cried at first, not understanding the concept, but with the help of Shiro, they managed to dissuade the tired meltdown. Shiro showed Lotor away to rip it ‘neatly’, tearing along the seams to only remove the tape instead.

It took much longer, but it kept Lotor happy.

When Lotor got to the last gift from the Blades, just one gift from the entire group, Keith was a little surprised to see the size of it. It was a small one, in a ‘Happy Birthday’ bag from the Blade as a whole. Lotor chucked the paper wrap instantly. He reached in, bringing out a dagger the size of Keith’s Blade, sheathed in a type of leather.

Keith stilled. “No-”

“We figured, when you’re old enough, Child, you may begin you’re training with the Blade of Marmora, if you wish to do so." Keith became taut. "You’ve shown great intelligence and integrity.”

Lotor was barely listening, eyes wide as he ran his small hands over the bound sheath in awe.

“No way!” Lotor screeched, and Keith had half a mind to rip it out of his tiny little fingers.

He didn’t, but no way was this right. “Kolivan, I can’t allow-”

Lotor unsheathed the dagger with intense, dazzled eyes, turning to Keith happily, swinging it. “Lotor be careful of that! Kolivan, I-”

The dagger lengthened in Lotor’s grip, just like Keith’s in battle, and it turned directly towards Keith. It was growing larger and Lotor could barely hold it.

“Lotor!”

Lotor stabbed Keith-

And it’s rubber. Or a Galran type of rubber. For all intents and purposes it was fake. It was a fake fucking sword with magical space powers.

Great,

The Blade of Marmora and Coran all found this to be the funniest thing, laughing at Keith's stunned expression.

“It’s a pretend sword, Keith. We do not believe in training children to fight in wars, especially so young. But Lotor has made some comments about wanting to be like his Papa, so we thought this could be fun.”

Lotor turned to the group of Altean children, all laughing at the antics. “We can pay Pwinces and Pwincesses fo weal now!” Lotor yelled, running towards the children. The group of Alteans screamed, running away as they began to play.

“I get to be the Pwincess this time!” One little girl yelled. “And we have to save Prince Lotor!” Another called out. “From the fire breathing beast, the Yacaa,” Another round of gasps and screams could be heard as they darted off.

Lotor handed the pretend sword over to the girl, and they all dispersed, Lotor pretending to be in danger and in desperate need of saving. There’s another girl with him, human, who also pretended that she needed to be saved. She’s one of the older of the children of the preschool bunch, making sure the youngest is okay and having fun, especially on his birthday. Awaiting saving is sometimes a boring endeavor.

Lance’s niece, Mane, was definitely the mother of the group.

“The sword is not sharp and will never bring any injury.” Kolivan explains. “It’s a simple child’s toy, Kit”

Keith humphed loudly, Krolia coming up beside him, patting his back. “It’ll be fine. It’s something that was given to us as children, too. A Galran toy of the ages.”

“That’s like giving a child on Earth a gun as a present.”

Krolia laughed as Keith crossed his arms. “It happens, doesn’t it? It’s pretend; it’s make believe.”

“It’s the precedent, Mom.”

She turned to him, eyes critical. “Are you not okay with the gift?” She asked carefully.

Keith watched as the group of Alteans slayed the fire breathing Yacaa, Kosmo slumped down with a faked pained howl, tongue hanging out as he pretended to be dead. The kids climbed over him, saving Lotor and Mane from the beast’s lair.

Keith let out a sigh. “It’s fine, I guess. Just- let me know? Next time? I thought it was real.”

“Next time it might be.”

Keith turned to Krolia and Kolivan.

From their faces, he knew this wasn’t a joke. “I meant it." Kolivan said with a sturdy pose. "He displays a great level of intelligence and integrity. When he’s of the age of majority, and if he wishes to do so, the Blade would love to bring him onto the cause, make him an official member. The invitation will always be open, Kit.”

“For when he’s older.” Krolia reiterates. “When he’s eighteen, or so. Like you, and myself, and your Grandparents before us.”

Keith remained silent, Kolivan coming to sit beside him, a beverage in his hand.

“We have a favour to ask of you, Kit.”

Keith turned to Kolivan, still upset about the gift.

“The Blades numbers are limited right now, with the attacks.”

“They’re still happening?”

Kolivan nodded, uncertain. Krolia grew tense as she too takes a seat beside Keith, placing him in the middle. It was comforting, surrounded by those he loves.

“There’s a mission, solely intel based. Talking to people.”

“But we’re unsure where exactly he’s located.”

“He?” Keith asked, putting the bag and wrapping paper into the pile of other deserted paper wrap to recycle.

He’s keeping the bows and cards, though. Lotor liked those, and the cards, well. That’s just an obvious thing for Keith to keep, he thinks. 

“His name is Lyxius. He’s on a planet around Alkya. We have evidence that he knows something about the continuing quintessence spike on Thysala.”

Keith hums. He knows that Thysala’s moon is beginning to worry Pidge, due to the growing readings.

Her theory was that there was a power behind it, likened to the rift.

But Allura made sure that’d never happen again, had saved the Universe and sacrificed herself to do so.

Keith didn't understand how there could be something so similar now appearing.

“We can’t be sure, but you’re simply their driver, in a way. You’d be set up on Alkya, look around, talk to the people. There’s a few scientist there who we’re in touch with, who’d you speak with.”

“So I wouldn’t go after Lyxius?”

Kolivan shook his head. “No, too dangerous. We would otherwise send you as you’re the best at gaining intel, but-” Kolivan glanced towards Lotor, then, look fond and caring. Keith had never seen his eyes soften that much. “We know that you must be based here due to your adoption papers, until Lotor is old enough to take care of himself.”

Keith nodded. “How long is it? The mission?” Keith hated the little racing in his heart from excitement, at the hope of exercising and moving,  _finally._

He did hate himself a little at what that would mean for Lotor, due to Keith's own selfish desires.

“Unsure. No longer than seven days, but we’re hoping for five. Tracking Lyxius down has been a difficult procedure. And we’ve gathered the help of your Katie Holt, but she has done little to aid us.”

“So Pidge is involved in this?” 

“She’s concerned, Keith, as we all are. With this spike, it’s-” Kolivan shook his head, clenching on the small, plastic cup a little too tightly. "Something is happening. We’re just unsure of the speed and duration of whatever it is that’s happening.”

“Or what.” Krolia said then, having kept quiet for the duration of this conversation. “We’d love your help, since we have no one else to ask. It’s a time crunch, and we just need any and all information that we can find, and we believe those on Alkya could be of use.”

“And you two? You’d go after the other?”

“Along with the help of Axca, Zethrid and Ezor, yes. Everyone else is simply out of commission, or out of the system and too far away.”

“I just have to talk to these scientists and other civilians on Alkya, and not Lyxius, and wait. That’s all?”

Krolia nodded. “You may be the best at extracting vital information, but we can’t place you in danger right now. You don’t have to even go, we understand things are different for the time being, with Lotor as young as he is. But we wouldn’t have asked if we didn’t believe this wasn't a good plan otherwise.”

“And Alkya is beautiful. You’d spend time in the city as opposed to the forests, but it’s a beautiful planet. Large, with the uses the canals as its main source of transportation, in the capital.”

“Sounds nice.” Keith agrees. “And I won’t be in danger?” He asks again, quietly.

Both Kolivan and Krolia shook their heads, now standing in front of Keith.

Keith bit his lip. “When would it begin?”

Hook, line, and sinker.

Kolivan smiled. “We head in three days. Figured that’d give you time to set everything up for Lotor. Talk to him, get him ready.”

“We know he’s anxious, Keith. But this may do some good. And you’d be coming back.”

There’s no doubt about that.  
  
“So, seven days at most, but most likely five….” Keith looked over at Lotor, happily playing, now on top of Kosmo’s back, waving the pretend sword, playing the bad guy. Lance’s niece was watching, making sure Lotor didn’t get hurt.

Keith nodded, accepting Kolivan’s mission.

It was a good start, he thought.

It may do Lotor some good.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funfact: this was like the second or third chapter i wrote for this fic. Have at er'  
> Uhh - implied sex, implied rough sex, and introduction of the Keith/OC part of this fic. I think thats all?

“ _We accept the love we think we deserve._ ” Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Keith’s morning had pretty much gone like this:

_“Sorry, bud! But the treaty is still taking place on Altea! I could ask Romelle or my Mom, but you know Lotor isn’t a super big fan of that. Maybe ask Shiro?”_

_“Sorry, man! Me and Pidge are taking off to go to the Kyzla system. Apparently the Olkari picked up on possible materials of ancient Altean tech, so we’re gonna go check it out! And they have the best alien cupcakes, want me to pick some up for you guys? Good luck on the mission and finding a babysitter. What about Shiro?”_

_“-Why are you phoning me? You know me and Hunk are heading to Kyzla. He said it was ancient Altean?! That idiot- It’s ancient Althycean, a close ancestor of the Olkari! Call Shiro! And have fun on the mission._ ”

So once again, Keith found himself standing around, twirling his hair, waiting for Shiro to pick up… to effing come to his rescue once again in the name of his son.

It took one too many rings, Keith about to hang up when Shiro groaned into the receiver.

“ _H-hello_?”

Keith had awaken him this time. He heard Shiro rolling over, trying to wake up.

“Hey,” Keith started quietly, watching as Lotor danced around to some children’s show on TV. “It’s me.”

“ _Keith_?”

Keith winced. “Yeah, sorry. _That_ me.”

_"Oh, no. Don’t apologize. I just- wasn’t- Everything okay? Did Lotor forget anything else?_ ” He meant the gifts, specifically the Paladin’s gifts. Shiro got him some sort of gaming system that Lotor was excited to play. They just hadn’t had enough time to bring everything back to the house quite yet.

Keith was becoming persistent with his hair twirling.

“No, uhh. I had a favour, and I understand if you can’t.”

“ _What is it_?” Shiro sounded hesitant yet hopeful.

“It’s kind of big, the favour. But, the Blade-”

“ _Asked you to go on that mission, due to lacking members?_ ”

“Yeah, just intel- but not dangerous intel! Just have to track down and talk to some people about Thysala’s moon, and the quintessence happening there and stuff.”

“ _Still spiking_?”

“Incredibly quickly. The Blade think they have some ideas, but we want to keep an eye out. So Kolivan asked if I could head out, not for long. Said I was good at talking to these people…” Shiro laughed at that. “Okay, he said I’m the best at extracting information.” Keith chuckled too.

“ _And you really want go_?”

“I know I said I wouldn’t go out on missions until Lotor was much older, but they’re desperate and need help. And technically, it’s still within the rights of the contract, with part-time work. And Kolivan wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t necessary and-”

“ _Keith…_ ”

“And it’s five days, a full week at most. That was my limit. Only a week. Lotor knows, we’ve had a lot of discussion, we’ve talked to his therapist, we think this would be a good next step, y’know?”

“ _Aaand?"_

“And… could he stay with you? He really, well you heard at the party. He really likes you, Shiro. He trusts you and you mean so much to him. And I mean, yeah, Laura loves him too and offered, but that’s… loud.”

Shiro laughed then. “ _And Lotor doesn’t like loudness._ ”

“Right! And I know... I know you won’t say it, but I know you’re lonely, and I know Curtis will be gone for a long while, so I thought….”

“ _I’m the last option?"_

“No! N-not the last! Coran was next. Romelle after that.” Keith was being just a tad too truthful. “So… is it okay? It’d mean a lot… to everyone, Shiro.”

“ _Of course. Keith. I’d be more than happy to babysit Lotor. Would I go over there, or would he_ -”

“Cynthia, his therapist, thinks it’d be best to go elsewhere, not be home where he expects me to be.”

“ _Okay, yeah. That’s fine. I’ll just… Go get a kids_ -”

“I’ll bring everything! Books, games, toys, his blankets, pillows, whatever, don’t worry about it. You’ve done so much, I’ve got this.”

_"Keith-_ ”

“I’ve got it.”

Shiro sighed, loudly. “ _Okay, when does the mission start?_ ”

* * *

  
By the time Keith dropped all of Lotor’s stuff off with Kosmo, a couple hours had past. They’d set up one of the many guest bedrooms near Shiro’s room with Lotor’s stuff.

It was right beside the room that Keith shut the door on. Still unopened, it seemed.

Keith’s heart ached at the closed white paneled door.

Lotor, blissfully unaware, was riveted.

“A whole week! Wif She-wo!” He sounded too excited. Keith wasn’t sure he fully understood what was happening. Probably wouldn’t until Keith tried to leave.

“Yes, Lotor, a whole week. Just with you and Shiro.” He told Lotor as they walked down the stairs, the child sitting against Keith's hips as Keith held him. They reached the counter top and Keith pulled out a blank sheet of paper. Lotor was still in his arms and was still somehow able to make it all work. He turned back to Shiro firmly. “And Cynthia’s appointment is at One pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays, she knows you’ll be taking care of Lotor.” Keith was hastily writing down last minute details before having to head out with the Blade. He was already running late, even after starting his morning early, too. He woke up at four am for christ sake, in his worry he would forget something or miss some crucial detail.

Parenting life.

“He’s allowed half an hour of screen time, sometimes a full hour, not consecutively, a day. He likes it right before bedtime, after his bath. He watches ten minutes of any British film noir he wants, don’t worry, anything bad has already been censored by the 1930s. He then reads about four books before finally falling asleep. His favourites are the-”

“Wif Moon!” Lotor shouted suddenly.

“Moon!”  Keith shouted back, before looking again at Shiro. “So yeah, the moon. Anything with the moon. That’s also a bedtime ritual: he needs to go outside, walk around after dinner to exercise off the last bit of energy he has and say goodnight to the moon.”

Lotor was smiling at the mention of his favourite thing. Keith was still hastily writing.

“So, he loves playing astronaut. His favourite toy is Rabbit, and he doesn’t go anywhere without blankie, even to daycare. Just fold it into his bag.”

Keith shuffled Lotor on his hip, starting to place the pre-made lunches for the week into the fridge. They were still neatly organized in the grocery bags that were left on the counter from the last haul.

Keith had made prepared lunches both of the individuals... since Shiro couldn’t cook to save his life.

“He will pick out his own outfit, Lance has seemed to have passed on _that_ trait.”

Keith began arranging the lunches in daily order. Would Shiro get that? Not everything had the same expiration date, and would need to be eaten sooner. Should he put stickers on the food of the days that the food should be eaten by? Like, 'Eat by Tuesday, cooked Mac n Cheese doesn't last as long as Chicken Noodle soup, you idiot'? Did that make sense? Keith’s brows furrowed.

“Drop off at daycare is nine am, go with Kosmo. Pick up is at twelve on the dot. Lotor freaks out otherwise. I’ve never been late, so don’t know exactly how he’d react.”

Keith then placed Lotor onto the counter, having found a pack of unused notepads. He picked up his pen, writing down the dates for the food, and placing them on the containers in the fridge. Hopefully they’d stick, Keith didn’t exactly have time to make proper stickers.

He noticed Lotor making a grabbing gesture with his hands, and grabbed the milk bottle from the fridge, handing it to Lotor.

“Any food you buy, just send the receipt to me. Lotor eats a lot, and he only drinks organic milk. Homogenized. He will not drink anything else. I’ve tried.”

Shiro curled his hand over his jaw on the counter, shaking his head with a content smile on his face.

Keith huffed. “Are you listening?”

“I can pay for his food, it’s no problem.”

“He eats a lot. He’s not picky, but he doesn’t love his greens, peppers especially, which is fine. He loves steamed broccoli though, put a little butter and he eats it right up. But if he’s being too fussy, which he can be on some days, just make a green smoothie if that’s the case. For breakfast. The recipe is in his folder.” The one stacked on top of five others in Shiro’s hands.

“If he gets sick, contact Dr. Belxor.”

“The one Lance said was flirting with you?”

Keith rolled his eyes as he turned back to the fridge, giving it a once over. “Wasn’t flirting.”

“He asked you on a date.”

“I mean, yeah, sort of. Doesn’t matter now. Anyways,”

“Whas flur-ting?” Lotor asked, sucking on his milk bottle. Keith looked up briefly. “Nothing. Shiro- If he gets sick-” he gave Shiro a stern look, “He gets half of a children's advil, twice a day, with cough syrup at night. Make sure he’s eating and that it stays down. Soups are the easiest, or broths. Pop, too. Not tea, he hates it. If a fever lasts longer than a day, call doctor Belxor. I wrote down his number,” Keith tore off the piece from the notepad, shoving it onto Shiro’s chest, “here, with his email too. You know all my information?”

“Yes, Keith...”

“And Lotor is allowed _one_ cookie after dinner, that is all, nothing else. It’s a treat for a reason, and Lotor loves and will go psycho for sugar. I think it’s the Galran or Altean side, not sure, but his can't process it like we can. He will be up all night telling stories and his emotions will be all over the place… So one! And maybe a half if he’s been really, really good, or if he did something big at school. He will beg for more. He will throw a tantrum. No.”

“Cookie?” Lotor asked.

Keith pointed at Lotor sternly. “No.” Keith then pointed to Shiro who already looked like he was about to cave to Lotor’s request. “No! If he asks, if he begs, what do you say?”

Shiro held his hands up in surrender. “No.” He laughed a little along side Lotor.

“Good,” Keith declared. “He also loves vitamin C, so be careful. He will eat the entire bottle. Oh, and the rind from bananas, okay? He just loves eating-”

Shiro shook his head as the other continued to talk through his anxiety.

Keith was never leaving.

* * *

  
After another hour, multiple hugs, a few tears on Keith’s end, and approximately five hundred more notes sprawled over Shiro’s modern kitchen counter and his own chest, Keith was finally set to go. He was dressed in his Marmora suit, breathing hard. His hair was braided, with the help of Lotor, tucked safely behind his hood.

“You wook pwetty, Papa!” Lotor declared, holding onto Rabbit and blankie at Keith’s feet. Keith’s small bag of luggage was at the door. The Blades, too, were just outside, waiting for Keith.

Keith kept looking between Shiro, his son, and the door.

This was never easy.

“It’s only five days, Keith.”

“Possibly a week.” He admitted with the ever pestering guilty.

Lotor looked unsure, so Keith picked him up for one last, tough hug. He walked over to the door, looking over the calendar one last time.

“So today is….” Keith started, pointing at the dates.

“The sis-teen-ff!” Lotor said happily, pointing to the square that boldly said ‘16’.

“That’s right, and what day should Papa be back?” Lotor pointed to the square that said the 21st. “That’s right. That’s five whole days. A whole week of school, and spending time with just you and Shiro, okay? And if it goes longer?”

Lotor pointed to the square that said the 23rd, this time shoulders falling, looking sad. He started fiddling with his hands, shuffling around in Keith's arms like he did when he was getting anxious. “But it wont dat wong, wight?”"

“It might, Buddy… I’m sorry, but I’ll try my best, okay? I promise. I’ll call so often, it’s like I won’t even be gone!”

“Weally? You'll call? Maybe wif Nana?”

"Ehhh-" Keith made a face. Krolia, as much as he loved her, was not the most reliant for phone calls. Quite a difficult woman to get a hold of, actually... "Maybe. Hopefully. Not a lot though. Probably tonight, and before heading back down, but yes, once or twice, with Nana. I'll make sure of it."

“And Kowi-van?”

“And Kolivan too.” Keith smiled, kissing Lotor’s cheek. “I promise, just these days, and I’ll be back. Can you be a big boy, and behave for all that time, for Shiro? You’re four now, that means you’re older…”

“I can do it.” Lotor whispered, hugging tightly. “Juz call a lot. A-and when you get back? Can we go for ice cweam? Like we had for my birfday? Or cookies?”

“Yes, we can, and you can even watch a full movie, with lots of screen time.” Lotor lit up. “You’ll be spoiled rotten when I get back. But-” The Blades rang the horn from their vehicle again, Shiro and Lotor laughing, Keith shuffling from foot to foot.

“Okay, I do. I have to go.” He hugged Lotor once more, before putting him down. He ran a hand over his growing hair, over his cheeks, his nose and back up again, tapping at the longer, white bangs. “Ugh, and maybe when I get back, we’ll cut that mop, huh?” Keith joked, grabbing his stuff.

“No!” Lotor yelled, instantly appalled by the mere idea of cutting his hair. Keith was taken aback.. “I wan long har, wike Papa!”

“Y-you do?”

“I wanna be wike Papa, when I gwow up! Save the wold, fight evil! Have long, pwetty har! I luff Papa’s har, just like I love Papa.”

“You, you love me?!?!!”

"I luff you, Papa.” Lotor hugged his leg, letting Keith go when the Blades rang the horn again.

Oh god, what a time to start a mission, with Keith tearing up from Lotor being heartfelt.

“I love you, too, Lotor.” Keith whispered, patting his head. God Keith was frozen, what did he even do in this moment?!

Lotor had never said this before!

He loved Keith! "I-"

Shiro stepped in then, holding Lotor’s hand as he simultaneously opened the door, getting Keith set to leave. Lotor waved. “I’ve got it from here, Keith. He’s in good hands.”

Keith smiled, looking at Lotor, who was barely taller than Shiro’s knee, smiling at the two. Kosmo was playing out back near the pond happily, having also to stay with Shiro for the time being.

Keith was happy, even if his eyes were a little wet.

“You’re right. Thank you.” He turned, finally leaving.

“Byeee, Papa, I wuff you! Be safe! Call Me ! Byyeee Papa! Wuff you!”

“Be safe, Keith, call later! We’ll be waiting!”

“Bye Shiro! Bye Lotor! Be a good boy for Shiro, I love you, Buddy!!” Keith continued calling words until he was in the Blade’s craft, hanging out the window, still waving and yelling as they flew away and through the atmosphere.

He kept calling to them even when they were long since gone.

Lotor never cried during this departure. It wasn’t at all like the hospital, or the first day of daycare.

Kolivan grabbed Keith's shoulder, settling him back into his seat and keeping him from staring off out the window.

He arched a brow. "Doing okay?"

And Keith smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah, Kolivan. I actually feel really good about this."

* * *

  
Keith met him in a bar on Alkya, a beautiful planet filled with riches and resources. Keith was on a short hiatus after spending days alone and extracting intel from the general populous. He was set to play a waiting game, bored and waiting to hear back from the other Blade of Marmora from their own, more dangerous mission. This was a rendez-vous point, since it was so filled with people.

Hiding in plain sight.

Keith had finished collecting his own information he’d come for, everything mute and nothing at all necessary or helpful. A complete waste of time, honestly. And now he just… had to wait… For who knows how long before they came back. And then he could go back home, pick up Lotor, and maybe just have a Jack and play with his kid.

…

Was it too early to call again? He did just get off the phone with Lotor and Shiro, Lotor still too excited from feeding the koi in Shiro’s koi pond to really have a good conversation with Keith.

_“Papa! Papa! She-wo said that some- some of the koi fish? They’re so old! Older than you! And Nana! And,” Lotor leaned in, whispering like Shiro wasn’t the one holding the kid in his lap and the phone in his prosthetic hand. “And even Coran!”_

_“I’m sure that’s exactly what he said.”_

God he missed the kid.

Keith sighed, stirring around his cocktail aimlessly, hand on his jaw, bored to the world.

There was so much life here. So many people just bustling and talking merrily. There was a bright festival of some sort going on, and it reminded Keith a little of Christmas, with all the glowing, shimmery lights. There were even vibrant, turquoise wreath like objects hung on every open space that smelled something like lavender and cardamom. An interesting mix.

“It’s always hard leaving them,” a deep voice stopped Keith in his thoughts. Not moving too much, Keith tilted his chin in his hand, looking towards the being.

He was large, muscular, and definitely Galra. His eyes were the typical bright yellow, but with a light blue iris, so blue it almost looked grey. He waved around his glass of something red, the beer equivalent on this planet, though much higher in alcohol content that Keith knew he'd probably pass out from having a sip.

Being strong is knowing your own limits. And Keith knew his...

Had learned from experience just the other night, to be quite honest. Keith shivered in disgust at the memory. How he got home, he wasn't even sure.

But all had ended fine. But looking at the red liquid made Keith's stomach flip.

Keith ignored his stomach, running his eyes instead over the Galran's bare arms and large shoulders, the intermix of scars laying upon the lavender skin, and those piercing grey eyes were found to be difficult to move away from.

“Would you mind answering me before you finish eyeing me up?” He chuckled, low and guttural and rough. 

An old smoker's voice with the way it rasped.

Keith flushed, turning back, face forward. “Sorry,” he said, honestly. “Part of the job.”

“Understandable. You’re the young one they wanted to lead the Galra Empire, are you not?”

Keith hummed, taking a sip. He could still feel the heat in his cheeks. “Yeah, but it wasn’t exactly for me.”

“But as the old paladin of the Black Lion, I’m surprised to hear you say no.”

“Leading a small group of interconnected space lions and my use-to-be friends is vastly different then running an Empire that is based through every Galaxy in the known universe.”

The Galra lifted a fuzzy eyebrow.

“You can’t please everyone. And I prefer a quiet life.”

“Ahh, a quiet life with your son and your boyfriend?”

Keith spluttered, almost choking on his drink. The Galra moved forward, checking to make sure Keith was okay.

“Apologies, I just, you were on the phone for so long. It was hard to avoid seeing them every once in a while.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend.” Keith coughed over himself.

“Oh, I'm sorry to have assumed.” He said kindly, large palms up. Even from the angle, his lengthy claws could be seen. 

They could cut straight through wood.

Keith shook his head at the thought and shrugged instead. “No, Shiro is- was… my best friend. Him and his husband are watching over my son while I’m out.” Keith chugged the remainder of his drink, the Galra laughing.

“Is there a significant partner to speak of? Must be hard, otherwise, rising a young boy alone, especially with your line of work.”

“Nope.” Keith said indignantly.

“Well,” the Galra seemed to purr, his long, tied dark grey ponytail falling forward. The Galra held out a hand, waiting for a hand shake. "My name is Meidax. And, how about, as a thank you for saving my planet and people and many others, I buy your next drink?”

Keith was hard pressed to say no.

It had been so long... and just a while ago Keith  _had_ been considering becoming acquainted with his right hand again.

But this? 

This could be so much better.

... For now, Keith realized, but unwanting to think about the effects or consequences of the situation.

Keith was Keith. And Keith wanted to feel again.

“Keith. And it’s a Melaphan Drudge, on the rocks.” Keith purred back, turning completely towards the large male. “So, Meidax, what exactly do you do?”

* * *

  
Keith woke in a dodgy hotel room, the two large moons reflecting a ray of blue through the windows. Workers could be heard paddling through the running canals below. Keith stretched on his stomach, his hair a complete knotted mess from Meidax’s heavy gripping. His claws seemed to love to wrap themselves around Keith’s locks, his waist, his neck. He was sure he had some bruises already appearing.

Keith shifted with a grunt, the lower half of body still numb and wet from the nights endeavors.

There was still no message from the Blades, and Keith still had a half a phoebe to go through before searching.

Meidax’s body shifted beside him, snoring. His claws scratched at his naked waist, the white sheets of the bed scrunching around his groin.

Keith smiled, moving away, deciding to finally clean himself up from the sweat and cum still inside him.

His legs shook when he stood, just another piece of evidence that last night had been as loud as it had been wonderful.

It had been exactly what Keith had needed.

Keith grabbed his phone, and near ran to the bathroom, his legs wanting to give out where they stood. He showered quickly, enjoying the warmth it provided, and then huddled himself in a robe he found in the closet as he brushed his hair in front of the vanity. Just as he finished running the comb through the cleaned pieces, his communicator flashed awake, Lotor’s smiling face appearing on the screen. Keith accepted the call, smiling widely at the sight of his son. He was on Shiro’s granite countertop, Shiro in the background doing something at the island. It looked like he was very focused.

“Morning, Papa!”

“Hi, Buddy.” Keith answered, a little more quietly than he would like, worried he’d wake the Galra still resting in the other room. Lotor waved to the camera, bringing his phone to show Shiro mixing a yellow bowl of something. The older man looked up then, noticing Keith over the call and waved happily.

“We’re making pancakes!” Lotor screamed excitedly.

“Are you now?” Keith smiled. “With lots and lots of peanut butter and bananas?”

“Nope!” Keith was scandalized. “She-wo wanted me to try something else, but he said,” Lotor tried to lower his voice down an octave, imitating Shiro with a pointed finger and a hand on make believe glasses. “These are fluffy, Jap-pen-aize pancakes. And these pancakes get Ice Cweam! Or Sy-rup.”

“No ice cream for breakfast!” Keith scolded half-heartedly, laughing.

“Okay, okay. Thought I’d try.” Lotor pouted.”She-wo said if you said yes, I could have ice cweam instead of the maple stuff.”

“Maybe for dessert,” Shiro called from behind. “I’ll let you try it one day. Just not first thing in the morning.” Shiro compromised.

“Okay, just be careful. And don’t burn the house down, please. It’s beautiful and worth more than you and me combined.” Keith was looking pointedly at Shiro when he said this, knowing the man couldn’t cook to save his life. He had prepped food for a reason.

“Papa? You’re coming home tomorrow, wight? I wanna int-twoh-duce you to the fishies! To Kola, and Beadie, and Jazzie, they’re my favourites!”

Keith smiled, a little sadly.

“Hopefully, Buddy. I have to wait another full day for the Blades message. If I hear from them and get a brief, I’ll be home tomorrow, but if not-" Keith felt himself frown a the implications. "I’ll have to go search, just like Papa said before, right? But no matter what, I’ll be home on Sunday.”

Shiro wiped his hands on his pink apron, moving towards the phone in Lotor’s hand.

“Still nothing from the Blades?”

“No, not yet.” Keith shook his head, running a hand through his damp hair, tossing it back over his shoulder. “Hopefully in the next few hours. I’d like to get home.” He sighed.

“Papa, why are you talking so quietly?” Shiro looked from Lotor quickly to Keith, eyes staring knowingly. Damp hair, white robe… this wasn’t Keith’s normal attire.

Actually, it was pretty obvious Keith had never been in something like this outfit before.

Relaxation and luxury weren't exactly 'Keith-esque', as Lance liked to put it.

Relaxation and luxury were actually 'Keith-off's' as Lance liked to put it....

The idiot had a point.This type of thing did make him uncomfortable, something Shiro knew all too well, and from the gleam in his eyes, Shiro knew Keith was up to something.

Even if that something had nothing to do with the Blade mission which is why Keith was here in the first place. 

Keith bit his lip. “Uhh-” He stuttered. “Because Papa was asleep since it’s nighttime here. And there’s a lot of people sleeping around me. It would be rude to wake them.” Lotor’s eyes grew concerned.

“Papa, are you okay? Were you in a fight?”

“I wasn’t in a _bad_ fight. Nothing bad at all. I’m okay, just as I promised.”

The fight had been between Keith and a pole, and between Keith and the hotel door when trying to get into his room the other night after the Red Beer incident. But- Keith didn't think he had any bruising from that.

“But why is your neck all hurted? It wooks wike its bwuising!" Keith went completely red as Shiro coughed, trying to hide a laugh.

“Papa’s fine,” Shiro quickly interrupted. “But he’s right, we don’t want to be rude and wake the _others_. And what if the Blades are trying contact him? We should go and let Keith… continue to not fight.” Shiro’s smile fell, patting at Lotor’s back.

“The pan should be ready now, wanna help me spoon out the batter?”

Lotor didn’t seem to be falling for their words, but went with it anyway.

Bless him.

“Fine. I’ll help.” Lotor sighed, waving at Keith. “Luff you, Papa. See you soon.” He blew a kiss at Keith, Keith catching it and blowing a kiss back.

“Bye bye, Buddy. Love you too, have fun with Shiro.”

Shiro sighed. “You too, Keith. Just… stay safe.” He said.

Keith nodded, understanding the underlying words.

“I will.”

“Bye!” Lotor screamed.

“Byeee!”

The phone shut off, Keith laying it back down with a sigh.

The door opened then, Meidax leaning against the doorway. Keith felt a tremor rush down his spine as he looked at Mediax from through the reflection of the vanity. “Hey.”

Meidax gave a low chuckle, a deep sound Keith enjoyed hear. He entered the area, moving his hands to Keith’s covered waist. Their eyes locked together in the mirror.

“I woke up to a cold bed,” he whispered, moving Keith’s hair out of the way to nip at Keith’s already bruised neck. Keith shivered, eyes falling shut. “I was worried.”

“S-sorry, father duty called.” Keith was shocked he found his voice.

Meidax hummed, claws growing. “Have the Blades contacted you at all?”

“No, not yet.”

“How much longer until you have to go searching, if they do not make contact?”

Twelve hours. Keith had twelve hours before he had to go.

“Half a phoebe.” He stuttered, face growing warm from Meidax’s wandering hands.

“Then I wish to have you through all of them.”

Meidax slipped Keith’s robe off, hands wandering to places that were still puffy and sore and loose from the night prior.

Keith’s legs shook.

“Then have me.”

Meidax took him right there, Keith shouting as he tried to find a grip against the vanity’s counter.  


* * *

  
The Blades did contact him, with only an hour left before Keith had to depart.

He was tired, sore, and a complete mess again.

Having sex and napping with damp hair was never a good idea.

Meidax moved over Keith’s body, grabbing at his communicator.

“It appears your members have returned.” He said, kissing at Keith’s neck.

“I guess that means I have to go.” Keith sighed. He was love-drunk, and wanted to sleep for an eternity.

“You look so peaceful like this. If I could, I’d keep you like this forever.”

“Nothing would ever get done.” Keith whispered, opening a single eye.

“Perhaps not, but you would be happy.”

Keith hummed, unsure, his communicator going off once more from another message from the Blades.

“I do have to go.” Keith struggled but eventually managed to get up, grabbing haphazardly to put on his suit.

Meidax remained laying on the bed, looking like a specimen from a Michelangelo painting, his own body littered with bruises and nail marks and plain beauty.

“Will I hear from you again?”

Keith turned slowly. “You want to keep in touch.” It wasn’t a question, and Meidax almost looked offended by the response.

“I was hoping so. Yes.”

“With me.”

He smiled, little fangs showing.

It was dark, and it was difficult to see beyond the light of the communicator and Meidax's glowing eyes. “It is why I’m asking.”

“Uhh-”

“You’re surprised I’ve taken an interest in you?” He chuckled, moving from the bed, still in all his naked glory. He reached Keith, grabbing at his waist to pull him into an embrace. Meidax ran a clawed hand through his hair, kissing at his head. Keith pressed his cheek against Meidax’s chest, returning the embrace.

“Is it so surprising to take an interest in someone so beautiful and strong?” Meidax asked.

“We just don’t know much about each other, is all.”

Meidax pulled back, grabbing at Keith’s communicator and tapping away. “My name is Meidax, I live on Daibazaal, and this is me saying I’d like to get to know you, Keith Kogane, former Black Paladin of Voltron and Coalition leader.”

Keith tried to keep his own smile at bay. “Are you asking me on a date?” He wasn't getting his hopes up.

Not again.

“I am. How about it?”

Keith smirked instead, glancing at Meidax through his wavy bangs. “Only if you’re buying.”

Meidax pulled Keith in for one last, rough kiss, claws squeezing at Keith’s clothed ass. Keith hissed into the kiss, sore, his hands pawing at Meidax’s bare chest as Meidax tongued his opened mouth.

They pulled back eventually, Meidax looking incredibly pleased with himself from where he stood. “You drive a tough bargain, little one. It is a date.”

Keith did smile then, unable to keep it contained any longer.

He had a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sike. Y'all thought shit was gunna go down now huh? All the Keith leaving Lotor or the blades not coming back at all possible foreshadowing? haaaaaaaa  
> It's only just begun *cracks knuckles*


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> while transferring this chapter from my google doc I accidentally uploaded it, and I'm praying no one read it or got the link before I deleted it cause it was not edited. SO. Apologies y'all  
> Also - The Meidax love I got last chapter was REAL o.O im shocked  
> Warning: I dont think this would qualify as child abuse, but not so nice things and threats happen to Lotor during his POV at the end, heads up. Also implied sexual content

_“It is true that those we meet can change us, sometimes so profoundly that we are not the same afterwards, even unto our names.”_ \- Yann Martel, Life of Pi

Keith found himself just days later attending a dinner along the waterfront. It's a large, towering beast of a building. It's beautiful with it's height and structure, but Keith feels so small in front of its metal doors.

He gulped, looking at his communicator just one last time before turning it to silent, just in case Romelle was having any issues in the mere twenty interval Keith had been gone.

Romelle said that she could stay the night and babysit Lotor, so as to not let the other Paladins know what he was up to. 

He didn't have many other people to ask, and lucky for him, Lotor really liked Romelle.

Meidax had picked the spot, having been generous enough to come to Earth upon Keith’s request, since Keith had a kid he had trouble leaving for more than a few hours.

It’s fancy and certainly not Keith. Keith is more of a 'pick up burgers and go for a hoover bike ride through the hills and over steep cliffs that could potentially kill us' kind of date. Easy going. Quiet. Surrounded in the boonies and nothing that is as remotely luxuious and socially constructed high class as this building.

But Keith is trying to change his view point. Maybe it could be nice to play dress up for a bit, pretend to be someone Keith isn’t. Someone who enjoys things other normal people do...

It brings sudden wave of anxiety the moment he walks through the large entrance way in his suit, a doorman greeting him with a bowed head as they open the second set of glass doors into the restaurant.  His hair is down and flowing which gains compliments from the hosts. Lotor braided it into three parts the night prior, and helped Keith brush through the tangled mop. With Romelle’s help, they braided the two side pieces together and formed a tie in the back, making it into (as Romelle called it) 'an Allura look'. The sentiment did not make Keith feel any better, but Lotor liked it, saying Keith looked like the ‘weally cool vikings from that one show' they watched sometimes. So, it was an eventual win in Keith’s book.

Lotor was certainly displaying a talent esthetics and hair. Lucky for Keith since he didn’t know how to do more than a simple braid, sometimes a quick bun if he was in a rush.

Lately he just kept it down, easier, honestly.

But Lotor loved playing with it and Keith could never stomp down on that interest. Keith just felt bad it wasn't the type of skill Keith had to further his son's knowledge. 

That's why they had Lance.

Meidax was already seated at the table in a back corner, tucked away and over looking the view of the ocean. His large clawed hand was placed over his mouth, staring out the window. Dressed in an Earthen suit warmed by the single lit candle on the table, his dark grey hair was high up in a tight braid, and his glowing eyes were staring outwards, taking everything in.

His clawed fingers brushed against his chin in interest when the waves take the shore beneath with power, and he watched with something of fascination, admiration.

Want.

He barely turned as Keith shuffled forward, his eyes growing happy.

“Hello, Keith,” he purred, and Keith felt the shiver roll down his spine, throughout his entire being.

He knew Meidax could see it. Keith is left bare open, for all to see.

Keith’s never really been like that with anyone, not since Shiro, but-

Keith needed to get out more if he was suddenly going soft, everyone able to see every bit of himself. Lance was the one who wore his heart on his sleeve, not Keith.

Meidax sat up then with a stifled laugh and growing smile. “How are you?” Keith finally asked as Meidax helped him shimmy out of his suit jacket. It was harder then it looked, but Meidax was patient, taking care of his clawed hands as they pulled the fabric loose from Keith's tense shoulders.

Meidax only smiled when it was off, tossing it over Keith's chair as he pulled it from beneath the table before sitting back into his own.

Was this normal?

Should Keith have done the same for Meidax? His suit jacket was still on maybe-

“I can see your mind working from here, Keith." Meidax purred, that rusty voice lulling Keith into a false sense of security. "Sit, I am fine."

With a nod of his head Keith took his seat and Meidax chuckled, placing his chin back into the palm of his hand, his eyes always locked onto Keith's.

He was like the Mona Lisa; no matter where Keith was, his eyes followed.

"So, uh... How are you?" Keith tried again once slightly more settled in.

"Well,” Meidax spoke, handing Keith the drink list and menu. “I believed the jetlag would have been much harder to become accustomed to, however that hasn't seemed to be the case.”

“Well, that’s good. Rare too.” Keith remembered the time years ago when he and his team had just made it back to Earth in their lions for the first ime, months after travel, he remembered how hard the jetlag hit, how tired he'd been, wishing for sleep but having to pull through, just a little longer and-

“That it is. Must have been my excitement to see you.”

Oh.

Well then.

Meidax watches Keith flush with a fanged smile. After sometime he seemed to finally take pity on Keith and stop the compliments that had the man stuttering out incoherent words and phrases. He turned open his own menu, smug, sitting back in his seat as he peered over it.

“The menu looks divine, though I don’t know where your interests lie,” Meidax licked at his lips, “but the maple salmon sounded fantastic; however, the seafood fettuccine is a fascinating delicacy that I can’t keep my eyes away from.” Meidax dropped his menu suddenly on the table, encircling his fingers into a tight palm, laying his jaw to rest against them. “So that’s most likely what I’ll be getting.”

Keith still scanned, but found the pages to be overwhelming. Usually a simple burger and fries would do the trick, take some home to Lotor, but would it be rude to not go for the salmon now, since Meidax suggested it?

Keith let his menu down, taking up the drink list instead. His eyes popped at all the strange names and descriptions. He was on Earth and he still felt like an alien, unintelligible to the way these people worked. “Yeah, maple salmon. Sounds good.”

“Exquisite.”

“The salmon?”

“No,” Meidax said easily as the waiter came over to the table. “You.”

Keith blushed mad and stuttered over his words as he ordered a glass of wine to go with the salmon, based on the server’s recommendation. Mediax did the same, the server instead recommending an exotic cocktail from a far planet since Meidax’s Galran taste may not be suitable for an Earthen wine. Keith knew shit about nice wines and proper food pairings, and was feeling embarrassed at how much knowledge there was still left to discover in the world.

He knew so little. And to be honest, food and wine pairings wasn’t something he wanted to spend an exorbitant amount of time learning. That was Hunk’s lane of expertise.

Luckily, Meidax didn’t seem to mind.

“I’ll be right back with your drinks,” the waiter took the menus and walked off.

Keith’s flush was still heavily apparent.

They remained in comfortable silence then, Keith watching the waves while Meidax stared at him, still laughing lowly at Keith's demeanor.

“I can tell you’re nervous.”

Keith shuffled in his seat feeling out of place.

He looked around at all the done up women with their heavy jewelry and form fitting dresses, the men wearing suits with gold watches that were probably more expensive than Keith's damned house.

They all knew what they were doing. What all the different utensils meant and how to use them.

They had the chauvinistic power and money and the need to show off their luxuries that seemed necessary to enjoy a place like this.

Keith bit his lip feeling both the guilt and tumultuous anxiety rising. "This isn’t- I’m not exactly…” He made an uncertain gesture with his hand around the restaurant. 

“This isn’t you?”

“Yeah…”

“My apologies. I only asked around and did feint research, if there’s something else-”

“No! No!" Keith shouted and moving forward, elbows on the table. He noticed people starting to look at him in pause at the rise in voice. Breathing heavy he brought himself back into place. "This is great, honestly. It’s just, very very fancy, and luxurious." Keith bit his lip again, looking out the window as a seagull dove into the sea, emerging with its prey. "I feel like it’s above me, if I’m being honest.” He muttered.

Meidax didn't seem to understand. “Yet you’ve saved all the universes.”

Keith winced. He wasn’t the one to have sacrificed himself. He should have tried though. It’s a regret they all have, he knows.

“Saving the Universes involves fighting and battles and living on a space whale with your estranged Mother for two years with no showers.” Meidax lifted a fuzzy eyebrow, but asked no further questions. “Stingy and grimy and quiet is me. This,” he pointed towards the lit candle as the waiter came back with their wines. Keith grabbed the neck of his after thanking the waiter, swirling it before sipping. He knew that much at least. He set his wine back down, looking at everything with contemplation. “This is much fancier than anything I feel like  I’m deserving of.”

He feels uncomfortable here. But it was Meidax’s pick, and he doesn’t want to make a wrong impression. He’s happy with whatever date he planned. It’s very sweet.

It’s just not Keith. But Keith can make do for the meanwhile.

“You are deserving of it though. I wish to prove that to you.” Meidax picked up his glass, swirling the blood orange liquid and watching the legs run down the glass. “Mmm,” he thought out loud. “Quite nice," he then sniff at it, nose moving like a kittens. "Smokey.” He took a sip, continuing to stare at Keith as he dropped down the glass.

“So... estranged Mother on a space whale. How did _that_ come about?”

Keith took another sip of his wine. Conversation. Concentrate on Meidax and the conversation. He settled back into his seat, smiling a little.

The seagull from before seemed to drop its food for the evening, Keith watching with amusement as the bird dove from the sky through the tunnels of light, streaming through the broken clouds.

“Ahh, y’know.” Keith chuckled, hiding behind his bangs. “Wanted Shiro back. Got Shiro back. Tried to prove Shiro was still the right Black Paladin, kinda backfired. Joined the Blade instead.”

The wine begins to hit and Keith feels himself sink a bit. It’s such a short sentence, and it leaves out so much of the details. The aches Keith felt, every night.

He wanted Shiro back, more than anything. He wasn’t a leader, he didn’t want to be the Leader. He was forced, because Shiro wanted it-

And when Shiro came back, finally got Black back...

Keith was the useless member. Always had been. The abandoned, useless orphan to be tossed aside.

Keith is angry. Keith is reactive. Keith is, Keith is, Keith…

Keith can be left behind again and again, he’s done it before, he can do it then. Now, too.

He could cry himself to sleep every night, having just lost the closest thing to family since... well, since his Father.

… He’s glad he didn’t die at Naxzella, but he wondered, sometimes, if they would have missed him.

If 'Shiro-not-Shiro' would have missed him.

How different the Universe may have been.

But perhaps not at all. Just, one-less Keith.

“I apologize.” Meidax said suddenly. “I didn’t mean to-”

“No, again. Not you. Me. Just painful memories, I guess.” Keith huffed, surprising himself. He was shocked that they still hurt him, something so far in the past.

He cleared his throat, looking at his wine.

It was quite strong.

“War tends to do that. Leave scars no one else can see.”

Keith hummed, growing bolder, finally glancing at Meidax's grey eyes and the glowing yellow orbs as Keith took another sip of his fruity white wine. Keith sighed, and Meidax straightened his back.

“Another topic then,” Meidax said. “Something happier.”

“Alright.” Keith agreed, smiling. The white wine and all it’s sugar was truly beginning to hit him, make everything just a little fuzzy around the edges.

It was nice.

Warm.

Comforting.

Keith could ignore everyone else.

“So, what is the story of you and your adopted son? His name is Lotor, correct?” Meidax asked sweetly, reaching out to lay his hand over Keith’s. He held on, and Keith was putty under his finger, telling him near everything.

* * *

  
The rest of dinner went on without a hitch, the meals delicious as Keith's anxiety literally melted away along with the wine. Meidax insisted on paying, having even done so in secret when he left to the washroom. Keith gaped when the waiter came by with the small mints and wishing Keith a good night while Meidax tugged back on his suit jacket.

Carrying their packed up foods, they continued talking, walking along the shoreline together. Keith felt entirely too warm and too happy as he tripped over rocks, barely able to hold himself up.

He was light.

Blissful, too.

Maybe.

Maybe he could let himself feel that.

Or perhaps it was the bottle of wine he had.

“It’s getting late.” Keith noted, looking at the spinning constellations. The moon was out tonight. Poor Romelle, Lotor probably had a horrible time going to bed. He never slept well on a full moon.

“I should get going soon.”

Meidax reached for Keith’s hand that was hidden in his pocket. Taking it out, Keith’s palm was surrounded with heat and claws. Meidax tugged Keith into his side as they walked, helping Keith stay upright.

Keith shivered.

“What’s the rush?” Meidax whispered, closing in on Keith.

“Ahh, y'know." Keith was slurring a little. "Son. B-babysitter. Parenting life.”

“I guess that is so.”

Meidax held Keith closer, letting him know he wasn’t leaving. They were walking in the moonlight over large and unsteady boulders. It wasn’t graceful, Keith tripping and Meidax holding him up from his tipsy state, laughing at Keith. Thankful for their Galra genes, Keith thought, helping them find these places more easily than the average human.

And for Meidax to lift Keith over the much too tall stones and sharp rocks in his induced state.

Meidax seemed to know where he was going, Keith just along merrily for the ride, head dazed and ears ringing.

They were walking far from the main beach, towards the cliffs. Not a person could be seen for miles in this little nook of the world.

It was both quieter and louder all at the same time.

Large, powerful waves crashed along the shore, splashing at Keith in droplets.

He laughed at the bizarre, perplexing feeling, and Meidax brought them higher up, away from the wetness of the ocean.

There was a small patch of sand in the middle of the rugged interface, a perfect viewing point for the waves and the moonlight and the stars, surrounded by the cold and wet rocks.

Meidax and Keith were not dressed appropriately, the cold water still spraying them from their position but Meidax seemed to give up his endeavor of finding a position that was both a good view, sitting area, and not wet. 

They settled down, Keith essentially flopping his head head into Meidax's shoulder, letting the other hold him around the waist.

Move him as he pleased.

“You are, you know.”

“Hmm?” Keith questioned. Keith stumbled to grab at a small, loose rock, chucking it into the waves, hoping for a skip.

Lackluster attempt really, the ocean was much to wild at the moment.

“Exquisite." Meidax was right there, whispering into Keith's ear. The sound was hot, heavy, and loud.

He enjoyed the feeling of Meidax's claw moving Keith's hair behind his ear. "The God’s made me a lucky man the day you dared look my way.”

“You know exactly what to say to charm the pants off a guy?” Keith laughed, could feel Meidax’s free hand surround the top of his thigh, squeeze it tightly

His claws tickled their way closer to Keith’s groin, yet never making contact.

Keith heard himself moan.

The teasing was excruciating in Keith’s current tipsy state of mind.

“Is it working?” Meidax asked, nosing at Keith’s neck, his claw tightening as Keith's heart skipped a beat.

Keith lost his breath, but Meidax was there to catch it, quickly surrounding Keith’s open mouth with his own, scavenging his way it’s the inner depths of Keith’s mouth, tongue forcing itself down his throat.

It was rough, hardy, and unlike anything Keith had ever felt before.

He didn’t know whether he liked or disliked it, but it felt like he was honest to god being tongue fucked. Meidax grew bolder, surrounded Keith’s body with his own, placed his large hand on his waist and pushed Keith into a lying position. His tongue, tangy and sweet and minty from the restaurant's candy was a large weight in Keith’s opened mouth as he sucked.

Keith made a sound of surprise when Meidax hit the back of his throat with the dexterous muscle, eyes widening as he found it hard to breath.

Meidax backed off, grabbing Keith’s legs and pulling them over his waist. He wiped off his mouth as he sat back, smiling.

The ocean's spray licked at their shoes.

“Now,” Meidax said as he watched Keith, raking his hands over his body, pushing his shirt up to see and kiss at the skin, “here’s what I like to see. You underneath me. Needy.”

Keith groaned loudly.

“And just for me. What a sight.” Meidax said, body laying on top of Keith, kissing him, removing his clothes so easily that Keith was sure it was magic.

But it wasn’t, and the ocean was just instead nipping at Keith’s bare feet instead of his nice shoes, now on top of his neatly folded clothes on the rock above them and Meidax bent down, taking Keith into his mouth.

His claw ran around the circle of Keith’s opening. Keith felt himself tighten, with no way of easily opening himself up with the lack of lube.

He was a little worried.

But Meidax sucked on his own fingers, using the spit from his mouth as a better substance than taking Keith dry.

At least he was considerate enough to be go slow, patient.

As Meidax continued his attempt, Keith realized he wasn’t going home for a while.

He hoped Romelle wouldn’t mind.

And when he was ready, right there on that rocky shore in the middle of the night, Keith spread his legs, threw back his neck and  _begged._

The cold water of the waves surrounded them, Keith silently crying out for a name that had long since passed.

If Meidax noticed Keith’s daydreams, he never let it be known.

It was all too soon before Keith was certain he blacked out.

* * *

  
A few weeks had past, Keith meeting up with Meidax or Meidax coming over almost every other night now. It was becoming familiar to have the other around during the nights.

It was nice. Calming.

Kosmo wasn’t thrilled, having to lose his position on the bed, Meidax sometimes even forcing the wolf outside to take Keith right then and there.

Today he was coming over in the day, and they had arranged an outing with Lotor, since the little boy was still shy around the large and hefty Galra. He’d only really seen him in passing, when Meidax left in the mornings after giving Keith a kiss on the cheek. He always waved at the child before closing the door.

Lotor was just confused, since he was usually asleep by the time Meidax came in, but Keith always let him know that Papa’s ‘friend’ would be coming over, staying with them for that evening. “ _Like un-cal Lans? Or Nana_?” He had asked.

Keith looked iffy at that. “ _A little different, but I wanted to let you know. Meidax will be staying with us, so be prepared tomorrow morning okay? It won’t just be us._ ” After breakfast, Keith had to have an extensive talk with Lotor, explain to him about Keith’s new ‘friend’, who Papa really liked.

Keith also had to then explain ‘dating’, a concept that confused the hell out of Lotor.

“ _Aw you wone-wy_?”

“ _Kind of. In a way_ -”

“ _I’m not enough?_!” Lotor yelled, hurt.

“ _No, no. You are! It’ s just- I’m not lonely, but dating, being single, it’s a different type of loneliness, Lotor._ ”

“ _I_  ' _m not enough!!_ ” Keith had to begin damage control asap.

But almost a week had past since then, and Lotor was, seemingly, growing to the idea of his Papa being with someone romntically. He at least wasn’t as sad at the idea of not being enough anymore.

Which was good, because Meidax should be here any minute.

Keith was about to check his communicator for a message when he noticed it. “Huh, no signal.” Keith looked around.

Lotor was in the living room, remote control in his hand. He tried to turn on the TV, looking puzzled when static appeared.

Keith looked around, switching the lights on and off. They worked, and the time on the microwave was still on, so they still had power.

“Odd,” Keith said as Lotor called him over to fix the TV. “The signal must be down.” Keith said, picking up Lotor.

“Signal?” Lotor asked, holding onto his blankie from around his shoulders.

“Yeah, Buddy. It’s how we get the TV to work, or keep in communication with our friends. It’s like, there’s a machine in outerspace, sending invisible signals everywhere-”

“Everywhere?!” Lotor gasped.

“Everywhere! And we have wires connected to our house, to help get the signals here for us to use. But something may have happened. It’s just temporary.” Keith said, smiling.

Lotor looked upwards towards the ceiling in awe. “Space is so cool.”

Keith couldn’t help but agree when they heard a knock at the door. Lotor tensed in Keith’s arms, holding onto his blankie tighter. “He’s here,” he whispered, looking a little less than pleased.

Keith chuckled. “It’ll be fun. We’re getting ice cream, just for you.” Keith said as he put the child down, opening the door.

Meidax moved inside gracefully. “Well hello there, looking beautiful as always, I see.” He said, sweeping his arms around Keith’s waist to place a kiss on his cheek. Lotor stood behind Keith’s leg, hiding.

“Glad you made it. I was worried. The signals down so I didn’t know if your communicator would have worked.”

“I’ll admit, I became a little lost due to the lack of signal since I was using the communicators map.” Meidax usually came only at night, and the landscape did look quite different during the hours. “-but I found my way eventually. I noticed there were a few phone poles down. Perhaps that’s the reason.”

Perhaps. Keith kissed Meidax on the cheek, noticing a small present in Meidax’s arms.

Meidax looked down at the child, waving. “Hello, Lotor. Excited for today?” He smiled, fanged teeth showing. Lotor gasped, hiding a little more behind Keith.

“He’s just shy. Usually you leave right away so he’s just a little unsure.”

It was true. Meidax had introduced himself, but the two never held a conversation.

Keith hoped this worked out.

“Like this with everyone?” Meidax asked towards Keith. Keith stared down at Lotor, who was looking back, pleading silently as he pulled at Keith's pant leg.

“A little. He’s much better, now. Right, Lotor? You love playing with Laura and Romelle and all the Altean children at school?”

Lotor nodded a little.

Meidax bent down, trying to come to Lotor’s height, but still remaining too large.

He held out the small gift he had been hiding behind his back. “For you,” he smiled.

Lotor remained still.

Keith let out a meek chuckle, trying to aid the awkwardness of the situation.

He bent down too, bringing Lotor into his arms, holding the kid towards his chest. “He brought you a present, Lotor.” Keith whispered. “Don’t you want to know what it is? I know I do.”

Keith turned to Meidax, who seemed to know what to do. He shook the gift, and Keith gasped playfully.

“Hear that?! I think it sounds like something fun.” Keith tried. “You should open it.”

Lotor shuffled forward, grabbing the present weakly. “Tank-you…” He whispered into his own chest, looking at the floor and shuffling back into Keith’s arms.

“Polite, too.” Meidax said.

Keith nodded, helping Lotor open the box.

They opened it, noticing it was a game for the video game system that Lotor wanted. Something Mario-esque that Pidge, Hunk, and Lance loved. It looked retro but fun, and was kid friendly. Easy to play apparently, which was good for Keith. He never grew up with video games to play and was still learning how to use them.

“Oh, that’s perfect!” Keith said, gasping loudly, putting on a show.

Meidax smiled. “Your Father said you got the that gaming system for your birthday? From Shiro, wasn’t it?” He looked towards Keith for confirmation, who nodded.

“Papa…” Lotor whispered, holding the game in his hands.

“Sorry?” Meidax questioned, a little loudly. “Keef,” Lotor stated. “Is Papa. Not Fatha.” There was no question in that statement.

“Oh, my apologies.” Meidax cleared his throat, standing.

“So, shall we depart?”

Keith looked at Lotor again, brushing his hair with his fingers. “Let me just put on his shoes and we can head out.”

“Perfect, I’ll go start the hovercraft.”

Meidax left after kissing Keith's cheek, and Keith placed Lotor on the little bench, helping him with his velcro shoes.

Lotor hadn’t put down the game yet.

“... Papa?”

“Hmm?”

“The gaming system is still at She-wo’s house… from my birfday paw-ty.”

Oh, shit. That’s right. Keith kept forgetting to grab it, since the two had hooked it up to one of Shiro’s many TV’s during the week long trip to Alkya.

“We can pick it up later, okay? That was very nice of him to do that.”

“But I can’t play it.”

“Not at this very moment, no.”

Lotor huffed, kicking his feet and crossing his arms.

“Lotor,” Keith whined, putting his hands in his face. “I know you’re nervous, but this will be fun. And if you’re not having fun, and don’t like it, we can leave whenever you want.”

Lotor pouted, looking sheepish suddenly.

“Wheneva?”

“Yes, Buddy. But I want you to give this a try first.”

“Okay, I’ll twy….” He finally promised. He didn’t look happy, but he dropped the game on the bench, jumping down. He held Keith’s hand.

“Let’s go,” he said, sounding resolved.

Keith sighed.

Hopefully this would go well.

* * *

  
The place Keith chose had about a hundred options too many to choose from, and it was overwhelming for the little boy. He had no idea  _what_ to pick. He liked the pinks of one ice cream, but he thought the blue-pink-purple one looked lonely and not very used, and had felt bad for it (it was cotton candy), but he really wanted to try the black-and-orange one with stripes- but ohh! Were they dipping it in chocolate? Different kinds of chocolate?! Chocolate with peanut butter bits?! Chocolate with cookie bits?!

Lotor gasped, hands on his cheeks.

They had everything.

It was too much. It took nearly twenty minutes until Meidax grew bored and uncomfortable. The shop was small, so Keith joined him on the bench to the side, leaving Lotor alone at the front to plant his fingerprints on all the glass doors of the ice cream coolers.

Meidax was putting up a fuss, trying to get Lotor to hurry up, saying it should be easy to choose. Keith berated it, but Lotor felt bad, suddenly self conscious of his indecisiveness.

He used to be hurt for it, he remembered absently, by people with eyes like Meidax.

But not Papa. Never Papa. Papa was kind and patient but strong. He knew what was best for Lotor, like when Lotor wanted one more cookie, but Papa said no because it’d hurt his tummy.

Lotor had snuck down one night and ate three. Three large cookies made from Hunk. And Papa was right, it really hurt his tummy and he got sick and never made that mistake again. Looking over the flavours once more and hearing Meidax’s sigh, Lotor moved away, embarrassed. He scuffed his way back to Keith about five minutes later, who was sitting on a bench with the big Galra, smiling and laughing as the other told an innocent joke in his ear.

Papa had never looked so happy.

It made Lotor feel bad, wanting to keep Papa to himself.

“Have you chosen, Lotor?” Keith asked as he noticed Lotor’s solemn approach. Lotor lifted his arms, and Keith brought him into his lap, Lotor hiding in his neck.

“You chose…” Lotor finally admitted. “I just wanna- I wanna twy the choc-wat ones.”

“The flavours?” Keith questioned. Lotor shook his head, and without lifting from Keith’s shoulder he pointed to where a worker was dipping a cone into melted, running chocolate.

“Jus wanna twy one…”

Lotor could feel his Papa’s ease in his shoulder, huffing a laugh. Keith shook his head, probably saying something to Meidax.

“We ready?” Meidax questioned, and Lotor felt himself being lifted.

Keith ordered two, two-scoop waffle cones.

Vanilla chocolate that was dipped in chocolate with cookie bits for himself and Lotor, since Keith had somehow noticed with eyes at the back of his head how Lotor stared longingly at that specific dip, while Meidax got something called rocky road and fudge brownie.

Meidax cheered up immediately, having finally left the too small establishment. He was too large to fit in there comfortably on such a hot day.

“My, what a short waste of a day, but glad we’re back on the road.”

Lotor turned his face away from Meidax, further embarrassed as he licked his cone.

“My fault, he’s never been there before. Should have realized it’d be overwhelming. But Lance suggested it, so...” Keith apologized, trying to say it in a low whisper only to Meidax.

Lotor heard.

“Well, now we know!”

Keith pulled Lotor back. “Do you like the cone, though?” Wisps of Keith’s hair tickled Lotor’s cheeks, and he wanted to giggle. But whenever he made a noise, Meidax gave him a look, like he was being annoying.

Lotor didn’t like feeling like he was annoying.

So Lotor nodded, because Keith was happy, and seeing Keith happy made Lotor happy.

And the ice cream was really really good, and hadn’t yet melted over his Papa's hands.

“Good,” Keith stated loudly with a hug as they continued to walk to the park. “Then it doesn’t matter how long you looked everything over, as long as you got something you liked.”

“He didn’t choose, though-”

“But! He did look over everything, and I was watching. Having kids, you kind of realize what they really want and what they might like best.”

“Ahh,” Meidax seemed a little displeased as he continued licking his cone. With his large Galra teeth, he took one look at Lotor as Lotor peeked over Keith’s shoulder, hiding under his own growing white hair.

Meidax had already finished the ice cream in a few licks, and was at his waffle cone. With his fanged teeth, sliced right through the food.

Lotor gasped, turning away immediately.

He didn’t like Meidax.

* * *

  
They arrived to the park in record time, Lotor having almost finished his shared cone. Keith and Meidax were walking hand in hand, Meidax quickly grabbing Keith’s free arm the moment he finished his own cone.

He tried doing so early, but Keith had almost tripped, almost dropping both Lotor and the ice cream. So Meidax held himself back.

The three sat in the grass, Meidax laying out like he had the morning after their first night, Keith flushing a little at the memory.

Lotor sat, curled up and quiet, picking at grass, as he slowly finished the ice cream. Keith sighed, looking between the two as Meidax told a story of one of his earliest missions, before Daibazaal had been restored.

“So you currently reside on Daibazaal, but where were you originally from?”

Meidax smiled. “Daibazaal. Always and forever. Wherever I was born and grown has no meaning of where my people are from.”

“It kinda does.” Keith answered with an uncertain laugh. He grabbed at the bag they brought for the day, filled with snacks, a book, and a frisbee.

“I’m Galra, and the Galra were from the great planet of Daibazaal. That is where I’m from.”

“Well, I’m part Galra, but identify as Korean-American too. So, all parts of the universe on my end.”

“Korean-American?”

“My Pops was half Korean, his Mom being American. Apparently his Dad died when he was born, so his Mom moved back to the desert. Which, hi, why I’m here. Not Korea.”

“What is Korea?”

Now, wasn’t that a question. “Uhh, well-”

“Papa?” Lotor peeped, suddenly. He shuffled over to Keith, grabbing at his shirt. “Papa, I need- I need….” His eyes motioned towards the bathroom stalls in fret.

“Oh! Ahh-” He put up a single finger towards Meidax. “One minute.”

“Take your time.”

Keith grabbed Lotor, walking over to the stalls.

Lotor looked over his shoulder, watching as Meidax became further and further away.

He remembered those glowing eyes from his nightmares, and it was making Lotor think of things he didn’t want to think about. But his Papa’s warm hand was held tightly over his, and it kept them all away for now.

* * *

  
When they came back, Keith grabbed the packed frisbee, Meidax having spread out, sunbathing like a cat in a sunstream.

Keith chuckled, eyes gazing over the happy Galra. "Would you like to play?”

“I’m quite alright, thank you.” Meidax purred. “Have fun.” He smiled, and Keith shrugged.

He and Lotor raced towards the tree line on the hill, the shade cooling Lotor’s heated skin.

Lotor beat Keith in the pseudo race and Lotor began jumping up and down happily, yelling excitedly. He proclaimed himself as Champion as Keith tripped up the hill. He pretended to be winded, falling over his knees panting so harshly as he finally fell onto his stomach. He joking said he was getting too old for this, and Lotor laughed, jumping over him.

The sun was warm and shining, Papa was laughing.

This.

Lotor liked this.

And when Keith finally got up, he taught Lotor how to tell the direction of the wind with a wet finger, then began teaching him how to throw a frisbee. It took Lotor so long, it probably took a million quintents, but Papa remained patient on the other end, running for the falling frisbee every single time Lotor threw it wrong.

And when Lotor made the perfect aim, Keith only having to jut out an arm to catch it, Lotor screamed, running and jumping into Keith’s arms like he just won the baseball championships that Papa liked to watch on TV. Papa smiled wide as he tossed him high in the air, congratulating him.

Lotor was elevating over the land, timing slowing down. He could see everything. The hills, trees, the sun so high in the sky. He wondered if Keith could throw him so high he could touch the sun.

Or maybe even the moon.

Lotor thought he could.

Papa could do anything.

And as he fell back towards the ground, quickly, too quickly, Lotor began to feel fear, but Papa was there, arms ready and catching him, swinging him around in a circle, holding him under his armpits.

When Lotor landed and pressed the tips of fingers together, asking for ‘Moe? Moe?’, Keith did as he requested, Lotor figured if it was Meidax who brought out this side of Papa, he could live with Meidax being around.

* * *

  
They’d been playing frisbee for about an hour, Meidax finally pawing at his eyes as he woke from his cat nap. He stretched, watching as Lotor and Keith threw the frisbee between each other lazily on the hill.

Keith was flushed red, a flush Meidax would rather have created with his own clawed hands, but it wasn’t a terrible sight, sweat falling down his forehead as he ran in every direction to catch the frisbee.

He was a beauty to watch, graceful, jumping high or low, always able to catch it even when Lotor threw it completely off course, which was almost always.

Meidax yawned when he noticed Keith suddenly running down the hill towards him.

“Hey, you’re up!” He smiled, reaching Meidax. Meidax pulled himself up to his feet with a stretch. Keith moved towards him, expecting a kiss.

Meidax didn’t let him down.

It was rough, quick, and with tongue, Keith moving away with even more of a flush.

Yeah, Meidax much preferred that look.

“I have to run to the washroom quickly, is it alright if you play with him? I’ll be quick.” Keith promised, already handing the frisbee to Meidax.

He took it, Keith pressing a kiss to his cheek as he ran off.

Meidax looked over at the child on the hill. His violet eyes stared at him.

Glaring.

Meidax smirked.

Smart kid.

He heaved himself up the hill, smiling towards the kid. Lotor shuffled back.

“It’s alright,” Meidax called out, “your ‘ _Papa_ ’ just had to leave quickly. He’ll be right back.” Meidax found himself peering over the small kid, Lotor maintaining his ground. He was shaking a little, but it never evaded the rather hateful look.

Meidax shuffled the frisbee in his hands. “Wanna play?”

“Not with you.” Lotor stated perfectly easily, holding his ground.

Meidax sighed. He remained standing tall, hovering over the kid.

“Listen, Lotor. I know you don’t like me.”  _Understatement._ “But your Papa does. And that means something alright?”

Lotor did seem to backtrack on that, Meidax realizing with ease that his Papa was the kid's weak point.

Everyone had one.

“You like seeing Papa happy, right?”

Lotor gulped. 

_Bingo._

“That’s cause we met, and I helped with that. And if you get between us, and don’t like me, than that means I will have to leave. And then Papa will be sad again, won’t it? Because he's so lonely?”

Lotor stared at the grass, hands shuffling to hold onto his shirt, finger tips running over the material as he thought over Meidax's words.

“I guess…”

Meidax sneered. “Right. So try not to fuck it up for him, alright kid? Your Papa is happy. So don't to be so selfish, like at the ice cream store. Has your Papa not taught you manners?”

Lotor looked like he was about to cry until Meidax said those words. Lotor lifted his head, the angriest face he’d ever seen on the kid was directed right towards him.

“Fine.” Lotor said angrily.

“Perfect, now that we've had that talk, let’s play frisbee.” Meidax dropped the frisbee on the ground at Lotor’s feet.

“Grab it and throw it towards me.” Meidax commanded as he moved away, further than Keith had been.

Lotor huffed, grabbing the toy. He held it steady, getting in position. His hands were shaking, but he stared at Meidax, throwing it.

The wind picked up, and the frisbee drifted further to the side. Meidax crossed his arms as it landed just behind him.

“Poor aim. Try again.” Meidax didn’t move as Lotor walked over, picked up the frisbee, and went back to his position.

“Again.”

Lotor threw it again. The aim was perfect, but it wasn’t as powerful. It landed a few feet in front of Meidax and Lotor huffed.

“Barely any power. What, has Keith not been helping you out? Every Galra child should be able to do this.”

“Not Gal-wah.” Lotor argued as he bent to pick up the frisbee.

“Yes, you are, _heir_.”

Lotor rose a brow. “I’m part Gal-wah. Part Altean.”

“A mutt, it seems.”

Lotor stayed silent. He went back to his placement, all happiness from earlier replaced with rage, a drive to show this man up.

He was better than Meidax thought. He wasn’t just some baby.

He threw the frisbee, and it softly hit Meidax’s crossed chest before dropping to the ground,

Lotor smiled, smug, and Meidax looked irate. The older Galra picked up the frisbee.

“Want to see how a true Galra throws? Something you should know how to do by now, _heir_? By _our_  standards?”

Lotor knew he didn’t have a choice. Meidax was going to show him either way. He remained silent, arms crossed.

Meidax took aim, and threw the frisbee.

Lotor didn’t even see it coming, in retrospect he should have. The frisbee whipped so quickly at him he barely even saw it. He was just barely able to get his arm in front of his face before it hit him. Lotor fell backwards and onto the ground hard from the hit, the frisbee knocking off balance and flying upwards.

The sting came in seconds, the red indent obvious on Lotor’s arm.

Lotor crawled back as Meidax moved towards him, starting to cry a little.

It hurt. It hurt so much.

Meidax grabbed the frisbee as gravity did its thing and it fell towards the ground. He reached Lotor, bending at the knees and holding the child’s shoulders, forcing him onto his knees to be face to face with each other.

“ _Th_ _at_ ,” he hissed, venom in his words, “is how a  _true_ Galra throws. You, _mutt_ , are just another sad sob of a being, whose Papa is taking too much pity on you.”

“Papa is good!”

“Your father displays weakness, keeping your power limited. It’s horrible. This isn’t where you belong or what you were meant to do.”

Lotor had trouble breathing as Meidax shook his aching, red arm.

“You’ll never toughen up like a true Galra if you can’t handle a little hit.” Meidax sneered, fangs showing. Lotor tried to take a step back, but he couldn’t get out of the man’s hands. He was scared. He wanted to call out for Papa.

“Can’t believe it. You, this disgrace, are the true heir of Daibazaal? It's a shock that the Emperor-” Meidax's words were cut short and he laughed out a fake sound instead,, instinctually letting go the minute Keith came back into view. Smiling and waving at the two.

From his end, it looked like Meidax was giving the toddler friendly advice.

“Emperor Zarkon should be ashamed,” he whispered, growing cold. Meidax placed the frisbee into Lotor’s shaking hands, patting him on his back as Keith finally reached him.

A mask fell over Meidax’s face, a facade. Lotor recognized it, had nightmares about it. He smiled so gracefully and kindly. No one would ever know.

“And that’s how you catch a frisbee, see?” With clawed hands, he gently touched the frisbee and Lotor’s arm, enacting how to properly catch the stupid thing. Like Lotor didn't already know from Keith showing him before.

“Everything okay?” Keith asked, brushing his hands on his pants.

Lotor sniffed, holding onto the frisbee tightly.

“Yes, I accidentally threw it too hard. Lotor tried to catch it, true to his Galra nature I see! Impressive, but, entirely my fault. The wind, I just- I apologize. Forget my own strengths, sometimes," he laughed lightheartedly with a cute wink. “So I was showing him how he could avoid it for future reference. And  _if_ his instincts did kick in, how to properly catch it against a heavy wind.”

Lotor held his hand, cradling it against his arm. Keith fell to his knees immediately, inspecting the minor injury. “Ohh, Buddy. I’m sorry.” He ran his fingers over the redness. It wasn’t swelling, and didn’t appear to be bruising. It was just red and aggravated, and wouldn't take more than a few hours, maybe a day tops to get better. Keith smiled sadly at the kid. "You tried to catch it, huh? When it was going too fast?”

Keith was watching Lotor as Lotor quickly glanced at Meidax. His sneer showed briefly, a threat. Lotor gulped.

Papa was happy. Papa was happy. Don’t ‘f _uck_ ’ it up.

 _Don’t fuck it up_.

_He's lonely._

“Yes,” Lotor muttered. “I tried, but…” Lotor sniffed. “I couldn’t do it.” Lotor could feel the tears, could hear the groan Meidax was trying to hold back. Keith quickly brought him into a hug, rubbing his back. “Awwh, my little man.” Keith kissed his head. “You did your best. And next time? You’ll catch it so well, that frisbee won’t know what hit it.”

_Play along._

“Weally?” Lotor muttered.

“I think so. Does your arm still hurt?” Keith asked, and Lotor nodded, wiping his eyes with his good hand, having dropped the frisbee onto the ground.

He didn’t want to play anymore.

He wanted to go home. He wanted to read a book with Keith and Kosmo.

Maybe they could call Shiro, have him over for dinner. Lotor liked Shiro. Why couldn’t he be here instead?

Lotor felt his sore arm being lifted, Keith pressing kisses into the skin. Keith tickled Lotor’s side, the child unable to retain his laughter. He tried shooing Keith away, but it didn’t work. Keith continued his assault as the kid kicked and screamed happily.

“Still hurting?”

Lotor laughed, falling and lying against the grass. “No, no it does not.”

It didn’t. The pain in his arm was gone.

A miracle.

Meidax looked steadily forward, obviously displeased.

* * *

When they left, Meidax drove by the phone poles connecting to Keith’s house.

Lotor pointed to them, watching as the Garrison had personal on duty, working on the lines.

“Look, Papa!” Lotor yelled across the sound of the vehicle. Keith turned, eyebrows lifted.

“Must be the wind!” Meidax yelled suddenly, noticing the commotion behind him.

But it didn’t look like trees taken down by the wind, even Lotor knew that.

It looked like it’d been hacked, like it had been done with a purpose.

Lotor almost said that, but felt Keith tense.

“Maybe so.” He finally agreed, holding Lotor closely.

By the end of the week, the connection was still down, leaving Keith confused.

The lines of communication should have been powered back up by the end of that day. He’d even been to the Garrison who confirmed it.

Odd, Keith thought.

It was just that.

Odd.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY! I have finals starting Monday that are worth ALOT of my grade, so I'm shocked I even got around to doing this chapter. It needed some INSANE editing, which is why its such a late posting. I'll do a better edit tomorrow morning, theres a ton of mistakes rn, and at one point a few months ago I apparently started writing in present tense for some scenes which I just realized. I just wanted to get it up, but I know there are lots of issues, I'll edit tomorrow, words are mixing and things are spinning but hey, my study notes are done and this is kind of editted!  
> Possible Trigger Warnings: The one and only chapter where Curtis is seen (I feel so mixed about this - he's probs not a bad guy but im so mad, and I'm putting in more effort than DW so, heres my version of it), Shiro's POV, his mental health is severely in question, his reasoning behind leaving Voltron behind and Keith is starting to be heavily hinted at, and there is a very brief, quick, and minor non-con kiss scene
> 
> AND LASTLY BUT ALSO MOST IMPORTANT;Y: I GOT BEAUTIFUL FANART!! IT'S BEAUTIFUL AND LOVELY AND GORGOReOUS AND THANK YOU PraetswArt on twitter. Link is HERE --> https://twitter.com/PraetswART/status/1115343951886573568

_“Beware; for I am fearless, and therefore powerful.” -_ Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

It had been a relatively peaceful morning for Shiro. After the Christmas party taking place that upcoming evening, Shiro was going to be alone for almost three weeks. Curtis would be leaving with his Parents the next day for the rest of the Holidays. The staff was to take the Holidays off, and would return the second weekend into January.

Shiro was finally going to be fully alone.

The thought didn’t disturb him as much as he thought it may.

He was living in a daze right now, floating by. Barely noticing a thing.

When he wasn’t numb or floating, memories always came back, hard and steadfast and left him panting and begging his nightmares to stop.

No one was ever around to witness it anymore, thankfully.

It was better, lately, to feel nothing than the pain of what had past, his own vile mistakes-

Shiro finished feeding the koi in the pond, and had even written the last few pages of his next hopeful novel. The last pages. It was finished.

Keith had been right. He’d never move on if he didn’t accept things from his past. He had to be able to look his team in the eye again, not feel the guilt and the shame that came with it.

The little voices in his head, always telling him it’d been his fault: If he just tried harder; if he had tried to make better connections with them; if he hadn't just played leader, he could have done something.

Instead, Shiro had been reduced to a damsel-

No. _No._ Shiro had tried. He tried his damned hardest.

He had a hero complex. He knew it now. He had to be saved, and he had survive based on the help of others. It had been a nightmare at the time, reduced to once again being so weak.

He was a perfectionist who could never achieve perfection. But he had to remember what his psychiatrists kept telling him: he was only human, after all.

And honestly, all that perfectionist crap? He was past that now. 

So far past the ideal of achieving perfection and his dreams and prove a point to everyone that he c _ould_ survive and he  _could_ go up to space against all odds... he was so far gone that he was left as a shell of himself, no longer feeling like a being.

His trauma maybe played a part, too, but he hadn't felt alive for a long while. It should be worrisome. But it wasn't.

He did feel content as he continued living in a daze.

His therapists, a cognitive behavioural psychiatrist, and another EMDR specialist, were both introducing him to a method for PTSD veterans, and any trauma survivor. If the negative thoughts became overwhelming and he noticed them, change them. It was like a mapl he could always change the direction, even if they came out of nowhere. It was slow and rather pavlovian, but Shiro… well he hoped it’d been working.

He wanted some peace with himself before-  
  
Well, it was best not to think of that right now. He was the most calm and serene he’d felt in months. He could thrive in it for a bit. The contentedness the day’s breeze had brought.

Shiro had some time left, still, he noted. He smiled down at the koi nibbling on the food in the pond as his watch began to ring. It was time to get ready for the evening.

* * *

  
Keith arrived late to the Christmas gathering on Altea. It was an extravagant event, Coran and Lance putting obvious hours into their party planning. Lights were strung on every tree of the farm and swung poorly over the fences. Coran and Pidge figured out a tool to create fake snow, having it fall from the sky by the way of a silent machine hidden somewhere on Lance’s roof. The farm was covered, and besides it not being cold, the feeling was exactly that of snow. Kids were making snowmen and running around with sleds, while the parents were setting up the food for the evening.

Mistletoe, Shiro had heard, had been placed in areas at random, Lotor apparently being the main decorator. The child was quite proud of his randomly chosen placements, Lance had said earlier that evening when Shiro and Curtis had arrived together.

Finally, after what felt like hours of watching Hunk turn a pig on a spit and watching turkeys roast, Keith arrived with Kosmo and Lotor, while the rest of the Blades walked in through a wormhole near the banquet area. They all held ancient, historical dishes from their home lands; Keith instead held a bottle of wine with a flustered and moving child in his other arm.

Shiro made his way towards him, Curtis staying back and watching with a keen eye.  
  
Shiro could feel the stare against his back. Not even glaring, just observational. Hurt maybe, too.   
  
_Curtis_. Someone once held as a relief through the tornado that was Takashi Shirogane’s life. Something stable, easy, totally new and different and seemingly wonderful and totally Earthen, and one hundred percent away from all the utter chaos.

Curtis, who was human, entirely, through and through, and hadn’t yet felt the pain of death of a loved one. Someone close.

Curtis didn’t have the trauma everyone else held, luckily enough. He had liked dogs, and cats, and hoped that the Hospital his Mom was staying in wouldn’t be bombed by the Galra during the war.  
  
Shiro had liked that, the difference of their lives, at the time. It was nice, pretending everything was wholeheartedly fine.

Once upon a time.

“ _Keith_ ,” Shiro breathed happily as he made it down the hill. He tipped his head, bowing a little at Lotor. “Lotor. Didn’t think you two would make it.”

Keith smiled and it felt like a breath of fresh air. The look was so honest it was blinding.

Shiro hadn’t seen this from Keith in years. Shiro felt a small bit of pride swell in his chest.

“Yeah, for a while I wasn’t sure we would either. Power is still out.” Keith shifted Lotor against his hip. “And the little one’s hair wasn’t working out, so we had to do it in candle light. But he wanted it so here we are.” Keith said with a roll to his eyes. Lotor was smiling happily around an almost finished candy cane.

His hair was in a tiny little braid, looking like a sad rat’s tail at the side of his head. It mimicked Keith’s long and flowing hair wrapped in a loose braid, three tiger lilies of different colours holding the look together at the side of his head.

The two were dressed similarly as well. High laced collars shrouded in easy pastels and creams. Apparently a Galran tradition for a ‘Winter’ festival. The skin tight attire looked delicate. Too delicate for Shiro to ever touch, to even see.

Shiro hurt everything he ever came in contact with - ‘ _Stop.’_

So with a shake of his head he held out his hand in hopes for something else. “Should I take the wine? You have your hands full.”

“Oh!” Keith exclaimed, looking at the bottle with surprise. It seemed like he’d honestly forgotten about it. With a smile he handed Shiro the bottle. “Sure, that’d be helpful.”

Shiro took wine as they began to walk up the hill towards the rest of the crew. The two made idle small talk until Lotor began wreaking havoc in Keith’s arms and asked, extremely politely, to be put down after he finished his treat.

Once on the soft ground of snow, Lotor made a squealing noise, bunching up his hands into his shirt in excitement.

He did a twisted dance that only a toddler could do from where he stood. Keith had to roll his eyes before grabbing Lotor’s hand with guilt.

“C’mon, we have to get to the dinner. You can play in the snow later."

With a pout, Lotor adhered to Keith’s request, but not before reaching out and grabbing Shiro’s hand. With a shrug from his Papa, Shiro and Keith held onto each hand as they swung the child easily between them. Lotor couldn't retain his laughs as they swung him to and fro.

“Lotor, Buddy, your hair is getting long. Think you’ll cut it soon?” Shiro joked from above as they lifted him high.

Lotor looked appalled, shaking his head aghast as he pressed his heels into the ground, firmly forcing him to a stop. “NO!”

“Ugh,” Keith chided, laughing through his teeth. “Wait till you hear this.” He whispered between the two, trying to drag the child forward again.

“You don’t want to cut your hair?” Shiro further questioned, to which Lotor nodded vehemently.

“I wanna wook wike Papa! And Papa has boo-tiful haw! I luff it!”

Shiro’s eyes ran towards Keith, noticing the surprised expression.

Keith didn’t seem like he expected the answer.

“That’s very kind of you, Lotor.” Keith stuttered over his words as his face flushed.

Shiro winked at Lotor as the kid giggled from his Papa’s embarrassed demeanor. Keith was still not great at receiving compliments.

They finally made it to the table. Everyone did a celebratory hug to Keith and Lotor as Shiro pulled himself away, handing the bottle of wine off to an Altean near the cellars.

When he returned, Keith was making his talking with a Galran, a small glass of what looked to be some Altean or Galran purple champagne. It was fizzing over the glasses and was running in streams of syrup down the rims...

Weird. Keith had always been one to go for whiskey, preferring it to all else.

Shiro watched from the side as he clinked glasses with the large Galran male whose long dark grey hair was tied tightly from the top of his head to his waist in a braid. He hovered over Keith, smiling wickedly as he told Keith a joke. Lotor stood beside Keith too, holding his hand.

The little boy was staring at the Galran, who was also dressed up and yet identifiably not in a Marmoran ‘Winter’ suit.

There almost seemed to be disdain in Lotor’s look, a grievance of some sort. Lotor pulled at Keith’s hand, grabbing his  attention and quickly asking a question that only Keith could hear. Keith held up a finger, telling him to wait another moment when the Galra snuck a hand to the back of his waist, whispering something more to Keith’s neck than anything.

It made Keith smile rather than flush. He looked sweet at the words.

Lotor seemed to grow angry. Shiro was about to intervene, ask Lotor if he wanted to play a game, when Curtis tapped at his elbow.

Shiro turned back around and felt surprise from Curtis being there, right in front of him. Only centimeters away with that completely neutral expression.

“Everything alright?” His brow lifted.

There was little warmth between the two.

“Yeah, Lotor just looked like he wanted to play, thought I’d ask.” Shiro smiled and jutted his head to the side, trying to make his own eyes amiable. “Would you like to as well? He hasn’t met you yet… But I’m sure it’d be fine!”

It would absolutely not be fine. No way. He knew Lotor’s anxiety, had spent two days in therapy with the child and Cynthia while Keith was away.

But Shiro could bullshit this.

Curtis hummed, sipping at his beer. “I’m sure that’s all that was.” He whispered, walking past Shiro to join Pidge, Matt, and Sam at the table.

Shiro sighed, deciding to ask Lotor if he’d like to leave Keith’s side.

The guy deserved a break from parenting anyways, but when he turned to go and do so, Hunk rung the bell, proclaiming the start of the Winter Christmas Feast.

* * *

  
The large group ate their food happily, everyone talking over the other as glasses chinked and forks scratched against the china. Hunk had set up a surround-sound system over the farm, so Christmas music was playing from tree branches above. It was a beautiful scene as the fake snow continued to fall. It never grew high though, so Shiro only assumed that it disintegrated or melted beneath the layers. Surprisingly, all the kids’ snowmen remained perfectly intact.

Shiro was always astounded by the engineering skills and intellect of his friends.

“So, Curtis, when will we have another one of our dinner nights?! It’s been a while!” Sam asked over the table. Lotor was fiddling beside Shiro, playing with his food. “Shiro keeping you all to himself ever since we beat you two at Scrabble?”

Shiro was having trouble hearing over a small fuss Lotor was making beside him. Keith stopped the little boy, getting right back into conversation with the Galran from earlier.

“It has been a long time, Sam.” Curtis spoke evenly, though there was a hint of interest in his voice. He’d always been a great actor, much better than Shiro that is. “But I don’t know when. I’ll be heading the Dominican Republic with my parents for the Holiday. They always like to go somewhere and travel, thought it’d be nice to join them since I’m on Earth for once.”

For once is right.

Shiro wasn’t even sure he could remember a time besides the year of the wedding, the first year they dated, that they spent a Christmas together. Perhaps the one after, but they haven’t been with each other during the Holidays for almost five years.

It hurt Shiro to think about.

“Oh, when will you two return? Perhaps it can be before you head back up!” Sam smiled happily, pouring himself more Earthen wine.

“I don’t know, actually. I think Shiro will head back earlier than I will.” Curtis said.

Shiro noticed Lance peek up from beside Sam Holt at that, Keith’s ears perking too.

Great.

“Oh?” Sam hummed in question as he chewed at the perfect piece of tendered maple ham.

“The mission will be flying out immediately following New Years, and I believe Shiro wanted to return before then, you know? Get everything set up for the staff, holiday bonuses and their payments in order. And traveling can be difficult for him, best to be where he feels safest.” It was like Shiro wasn’t even there.

And it was all lies.

Shiro hadn’t even been invited.

“Oh well that’s understandable!” Sam exclaimed in comprehension, and Shiro winced at the memory. Sam had been on one of the first plane rides with Shiro after they shutdown Altas. Shiro had a major panic attack from an episode as they boarded.

Shiro ended up missing the flight and was almost hospitalized for it. It had all been too much at the time.

Sam remained understanding, never asking questions, but just going along. Shiro knew, from his looks, that Curtis talked to Sam.

About the sleeping. About the pills.

The notes.

Shiro just hoped Curtis hadn’t found _the letter_ yet.

Not like it’d matter much anyways.

“Are you excited, Shiro?” It was Keith this time, staring at the two with an uncertain look in his eye. Lance was nodding as well across the table from Keith, stabbing at his own turkey piece and striking it through cranberry sauce.

“I- uhh-”

“He is. He’s never been.”

“I think that Shiro can talk for himself.” Lance muttered under his breath, which, of course the entire table could hear all too well since Lance’s inside voice was _not_ an inside voice at all.

… Apparently his third glass of wine was working a little too well.

The big Galra beside Keith tugged at Keith’s waist, saying something to him. Keith put up a hand, looking back towards Shiro.

The Galra didn’t look pleased.

Lance and Lotor noticed too.

All sorts of looks were being passed in a short few seconds and Shiro suddenly felt overwhelmed.

There were many knowing eyes on him. Shiro blinked and took a deep breath, hoping no one would notice the rising panic.

“I am. Excited. Going to Punta Cana, it should be nice.” Shiro smiled, or at least tried to smile.

“Oh, wasn’t it Samana?” Colleen asked kindly. Curtis ran a hand over his face. “It is Samana. You’re right Colleen. He’s just… one too many deep, I guess. Rising anxiety and all for the short trip.” Curtis explained, picking up a piece of his potato and beginning to chew on it thoughtfully.

He then picked up a piece of his cut turkey, placing it on Shiro’s plate.

“You didn’t take enough.” He whispered in a chiding tone.

Like a displeased mother to an upset child.

Shiro sighed lowly, making sure no one was watching them before he replied.

“And that matters why?”

“You can’t live on alcohol alone, Takashi, especially not with your pills.”

Shiro wanted to roll his eyes, even if hearing his own name did something to him.

 _Takashi_. It’d been so long since he’d heard anyone say that. It was usually said so kindly.

Things had changed, hadn’t they? “It’s just vitamins and the sleeping pills now, it’s fine-”

“No, it isn’t, I care and you need to-”

“Don’t tell me what I need to do, you don’t need to protect me, Ada-” Shiro stopped himself, almost rising in his seat. He was back on the couch. In his Garrison uniform.

Adam was at the table, with his tea. Always drinking tea.

There was a law textbook in front of him. He wanted to quit the Garrison, had wanted to study Law.

He was about to break up with him.

Adam was about to die, because of Shiro, because Shiro was selfish and he just had to go up to Space and-

“Excuse me,” Shiro muttered, leaving the table immediately. He gave no further excuse as he left. Curtis stewed in his seat, Sam immediately asking what happened.

‘ _Flashback_?’ Shiro could hear being muttered around that side of the table. Everyone else on the other side was still blissfully unaware of the tension Shiro may have just created.

Lotor, the observant little boy he was, was obviously mad about the situation. The Galran male kept talking to his Papa, and wasn’t letting anyone else talk to his Papa, which meant Keith had been isolated from conversation most of the evening.

Lotor had also picked up how Shiro didn’t look happy, and Lotor didn’t like that Shiro didn’t look happy.

The man had had a concerned brow the entirety of the night, and no one was asking why,

It upset Lotor to know end.

He was so kind, he didn’t deserve the pain he looked like he was in.

So when Shiro seemed to slip up, his voice rising before Shiro exited the scene, Lotor rose with a huff and jumped from his seat on the bench. Keith was about to get up to stop him, but Meidax took his hand, stalling him.

“He’ll be fine.” He whispered. Keith seemed upset.

But Keith let it go.

Lotor was still in all their line of sight as he rounded a corner, meeting up with where Shiro had sunken down, trying to steal a breath.

“She-wo?” The little boy called out lowly when he found the older man, sitting on the porch with his head in his hands. The stupid Christmas music continued to play. It made Shiro feel nauseous.

“Aw you okay?” He tiptoed up to Shiro, placing his hands on his legs, patting them, like Keith had done for him the day they had been first released from the Hospital.

Lotor was trying to comfort Shiro.

“She-wo?”

“Sorry, Buddy.” Shiro sniffed, choking on a silent sob. No tears had emerged.

But this was supposed to be a good night. He wanted one of his last one to be-

Lotor opened his arms, “Does She-wo need a hug?”

Yes. Shiro did need a hug. He pulled Lotor into his arms, holding the kid. He tried not to cry, wiping at his eyes as he sniffled, finding it hard to breath. Lotor patted his arm, the only spot he could reach from his position. The stupid rats braid with mini, probably fake flowers, was brushing against Shiro’s cheek, wiping off the one tear that did fall.

“I don’t wike him.” Lotor whispered, still patting Shiro’s shirt.

Shiro sniffed once more, pulling back. He wiped his eyes. “Sorry, Buddy. Who?”

“My-dax.” Lotor pronounced carefully. “I don’t wike him.”

Shiro tried to smile, but his mouth wasn’t working right. It felt like he wasn’t one with his body, and nothing was responding how it should. So he tried to speak, and was thankful that was still working alright. “H-how come? Is he a Blade? Like Papa, or Nana and Kolivan?”

Lotor shrugged, moving away with his hands in his pockets. “No, I don’t tink so. But he’s been coming to the house sometimes, for Papa. And he always gives me a gift.”

“But, isn’t that a nice thing? You like gifts."

Lotor’s eyes shifted and he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something before thinking better of it. He let his words work in  his mind, Shiro watching all the gears turn before the child finally did speak “He doesn’t talk to me... He only talks to Papa. And not a lot, he only touches Papa. Always touches Papa. Papa asks him to stop, but he doesn’t. I just don’t wike him.”

Shiro was set back. “I’m sorry, Lotor, say that again?”

“Papa will want to pay wit me, or make food, or someting, but Meidax always touches him, and Papa, Papa always says ‘No’ or pats his hands away, like this,” Lotor mimicked, grabbing Shiro’s hand and shoving it away with a small slap. “And says ‘not now’, but My-dax doesn’t listen. He always touches Papa, and I don’t wike him. He looks gross and icky. And I don’t twust him. He’s mean. To me, sometimes, tells me to go pay wit my new toy or _fu_ -" Lotor's gaze fell to the snowy floor. "I don’t wike it.”

Shiro sat back, listening as the kid continued to rant.

“But I don’t wanna tell Papa…”

Shiro moved forward then, suddenly feeling concerned. This was something to focus on. Shiro could be here for this.

He placed a kind hand onto the kid’s shoulders, grabbing his attention. “Lotor, how come? I know Keith-” did he, though? Shiro shook his head. “And he’d want to know. Anything that makes you unhappy or uncomfortable-”

“But it makes Papa happy!” Lotor yelled, clenching his little fists, banging them aggressively against his thighs.

“I’m Sorry?”

“Papa is happy! Weally, weally happy! I haven’t seen him this happy. Eva!” Lotor exclaimed, throwing his hands wide into the air.

Biting his lip, Shiro looked out to the party.

It was true. Keith had an air of peace to him this evening. Relief. It felt all too much like relief.

“I tink Papa was wonely…. But was I not enough?” Lotor asked suddenly upset, lip curling.

Shiro pressed his hand into Lotor’s shoulder more sternly. “Ohhh, no, Lotor. No, no, Buddy.” Shiro shushed. “You are enough. But that kind of loneliness? The one you’re thinking about? It’s different, okay? You can be in a room full of people and still feel alone.”

Lotor looked weirdly at Shiro. “No, you can’t.”

“You can.” Shiro nodded for emphasis. “You can be so lonely. You can talk to so many people every day, and no one will make you feel more happy, make you feel comfortable or at peace. And Lotor, you're so great, you do everything for your Papa and want to make him happy, I know you try your hardest with everything. But... this is different. And maybe your Papa was lonely, but with My-dax, he might feel good?” Shiro was throwing options out. “That might be why he is… seeing him?”

“Day-ting.” Lotor confirmed with a nod, and wasn’t that just punch to the gut.

But, honestly, Shiro had guessed it, if it wasn’t obvious enough, even though Keith hadn’t even introduced anyone to the Galran.

This may be for the best, but Shiro wasn't sure what to make of Lotor's remarks.

Keith needed to know happiness, deserved to know happiness. He’d had everything taken away, fought for more. He saved billions without destroying a life.

Unlike Shiro, Keith deserved all the happiness that came to him.

Maybe Lotor just needed to grow to like Meidax? It was something knew, and it took Lotor months to even glance Lance’s way.

“And this one time, we went to get ice cweam, he was so bored! And he kept _tawking_ about how long I was taking, and I felt so bad, and-”

Shiro stared at Keith, watched as Keith looked around for Lotor. My-dax, he guessed his name now, was continually running a hand through Keith’s hair, had a grip on the other's waist, touched Keith’s wrist.

Lotor was right; Meidax never let Keith go.

Lance was even giving him steady, untrusting looks.

...

Just what had Keith gotten himself into?

* * *

  
The two stayed out a little longer, Lotor ranting his little heart out before dessert was offered, suddenly more excited for that than anything else, his mind easily taken off of My-dax. Shiro grabbed the little boy’s hand, walking back towards the table.

“Found this little guy just wandering around,” Shiro said as he made an better entrance. He tried to smile easily and make it seem like he didn’t just have a minor flashback and freak out.

Curtis didn’t even turn.

“Ahhh, we were worried!” Sam and Colleen said together.

“Oh, just digestion. Too much turkey, I guess.” Curtis humphed as Keith turned fully around, grabbing Lotor and placing him back on the bench.

“Thanks for bringing him back.” Keith said thoughtfully. Shiro watched as a possessive hand gripped at Keith’s shoulder, trying to turn him around.

Lance and Lotor sneered, Lance now on his fifth drink of the night, openly gawking and staring at the oblivious Keith.

“No worries. He wanted to talk.”

“Oh? About what?” Keith asked, grabbing a plate for himself and Lotor to share a pie with. The Galran didn’t look too pleased to be sharing Keith’s time.

“The moon.” Shiro smiled as he lied through his teeth. Lotor didn’t want Keith to know of his discomfort with the new guy, after all.

Lotor gasped. “Moon?!”

“When we get home,” Keith promised, slicing up the pie. Lotor dug in right away, Keith catching a piece of whip cream in his hands as it fell off Lotor’s spoon. Shiro sighed and watched the domestic scene.

How nice this was, in the end.

“Shiro?” He heard, pulling him away. Curtis was beside him, looking heavy.

Tense.

“Oh, sorry. What was that?”

“We were just discussing our scuba session while in Samana. It’s going to be amazing, right?”

There was nothing to agree with.

“Yeah,” Shiro said robotically. “It’ll be the best.”

* * *

  
Sam and Colleen were dancing under a tree, Pidge and Hunk, and Lance and his Mother joining them. It was a slow song.

Most of the Altean children had left, leaving Lotor under the care of his Nana when Keith approached Shiro.

“Mind if I sit?” He asked plainly. He had another glass of the Altean champagne-syrup in his hand, offering it out to Shiro.

Shiro gladly accepted it.

“I’d kill for a Scotch.” Shiro chuckled deeply. He was sitting off to the side with his elbows to his knees, watching over everyone.

Curtis and Matt were talking away, Matt’s girlfriend having a blast analyzing humans from where they sat surrounded by food at the table. Shiro was back on the porch, having enjoyed the serenity it brought.

It was quiet.

Shiro needed quiet.

“Shiro-”

“It’s nice, watching them all.” Shiro said suddenly, sipping his champagne and took in the mix of bitterness and tart flavour. Not bad, considering. “I always wanted a family like that.”

Keith smiled beside him, sadly. “Me too,” he said.

Not ‘ _you do_ ,’ which surprised Shiro.

Always the intuitive one.

Shiro could see as Keith was left in contemplation, eyes shifting back and forth before he cracked. “Is… Shiro, is everything okay? With-”

“He locked the gates, you know?” Shiro started suddenly, cutting Keith off. Keith’s eyes widened, staring at him.

“W-what?”

“Halloween. We… me and the staff. We set up the house like we usually do. Got that giant bowl of candy ready. Our house is always huge hit, the kids love it. We dress up in costumes, the whole shebang… It always just, made me happy. Bringing joy to another person? And especially if it was a kid, they deserve it so much. That is who the holidays were made for. And, I never-...” Shiro’s hand tightened around his glass.

“Got a chance to experience it."

Shiro jutted his chin in an attempt of a nod. “My Grandfather was always too sick and we’d be in Japan. When we moved here, I was too sick. There was always something. So now? I wanted to do something great.”

“And _he_ closed the gates this year?”

Shiro stiffened. “He.. I don’t know. He came home the night before. Claimed he was tired, angry. We had a fight. He shut everything down. Closed off the gates. I-”

Shiro specifically didn’t mention what the fight had been about about.

Shiro felt a hand on his knee, so much like Lotor’s, patting it in hopes of comfort.

“But you had been excited for it, right? And he fucked you over.”

“No,” Shiro rose his palms sternly. “No. He didn’t fuck me over. There were legitimate reasons. It was just bad timing.”

“And Samana, Shiro-” Keith turned to him fully as he ignored Shiro's attempts of discussion. The light caught on his scar and it made Shiro flush. He had to turn away, almost heaving.

He’d put that there-

_Shiro, you’re my brother. I love-_

“Were you even invited?!”

He didn’t deserve this. Any of this.

This _happiness_ going on around him.

“Shiro-”

He’d destroyed too much.

“Were you. Even. Invited?” Keith now stood directly in front of Shiro in anger. The flowers held still in his beautiful, jet black hair in that loose, even braid.

Such a contrast to the high laced collar around Keith’s neck, the pastel shirt and the soft, flowing pants. The light from the patio above encompassed Keith, a hint of mistletoe dangling down like a crown and he looked like something divine and celestial and all holy.

Something totally otherworldly and unworthy of Shiro's eyes to be admiring.

Shiro forced himself to look away.

“No,” he choked out pitifully. “No, I-”

He felt himself be tugged into a tight embrace, Keith wrapping his arms around Shiro’s back, folding himself over the other. Shiro’s forehead was hitting Keith’s hipbone.

‘I-”

“I want to ask. I’ve wanted to ask what the hell is happening. But I know you, Shiro. You won’t talk. And I won’t force you to, ever. But I am here. Always.”

_Please._

Has been and forever will be there for Shiro to count on.

Shiro lifted his heavy arms and landed his hands onto Keith’s hips, holding him in place. This was the closest thing to a hug from someone other than Lotor he had received in a long while.

Shiro missed it.

He shouldn’t, he deserved this life he created, but he did.

Maybe he’d miss it afterwards, too.

Keith pulled back, light still shining above. He ran his fingers through Shiro’s white hair, nowhere near as silky as Keith’s since it was in need of a good wash.

Shiro was suddenly self conscious.

Keith was so close, so warm, and there was fucking mistletoe hung by Lotor beside the light.

Shiro kept looking and seeing and no one uttered another word as the snow fell.

It was peaceful, quiet, and this was a moment Shiro would keep with him.

Of course, all good things must come to an end....

“Woah-woah-woah! I can cut the romantic tension with Lotor’s knife. You,” Lance pointed drunkenly to Shiro, “have a husband, and you,” and then pointed to Keith, “have a child whose hungry.” He forced Lotor into Keith’s arms. “Here you go, he wants cookies.” Lance was going to continue bombarding them with questions, mouth already half open and slurring when he noticed a large being approaching.

“Lance, what-”

But Lance was sneering and ignoring Keith. He tossed his short hair in the direction of the other and promptly began walking away, completely dismissing the Galran male.

The large guy waved at Lance as he passed, only the be shouldered out of the way by the unsteady Blue/Red Paladin of old.

Shiro watched as Meidax’s ears fell back and he turned to Keith in question. He shrugged it off when Keith wasn’t looking and walked forward with his arms open wide. “Ahh, there you are! I became worried when you two had disappeared.”

Keith smiled a little miffed, hitching Lotor up higher.

“We wouldn’t just run off.” Keith stated. “And I was actually just, uhh, having a conversation with Shiro, so-” The Galran then took notice of Shiro’s appearance, who probably looked like the equivalent of a sodden, distressed cow. Shiro felt a great amount of pride then.

“Ahh, the great Takashi Shirogane,” He held out a hand, which Shiro took. “I have heard a great plenty about you,” he charmed. “All good things I assure you, though I must apologize! I haven’t had the chance to formally introduce myself.”

Shiro lifted himself up from the porch, handshake ending. The Galran placed a hand on his chest proudly. “My name is Meidax, son of the Great Commander Yurak from Daibazaal. Thank you, once again, for restoring our planet.”

Like Curtis, he said all the right things with that contentious smile. It was charisma to anyone who didn’t know better.

Shiro, though, he knew better. So he smiled through the insincerity. “Pleasure is all mine. I’m just thankful it was even possible.”

“At the cost of many lives, I know. Unfortunate, but a sacrifice that was necessary to make.” Meidax hummed, running an unfamiliar gesture over his chest with a single claw. It was similar to Christians when talking about those who’ve passed, stating ‘bless their soul’ with a cross. “However, I’ve been hearing about this wine that Keith brought for the evening, and I have been dying to taste it. I’ve never had an _Earthen_ wine before. It’ll be a delight. Would you come along, Shiro?””

“Uhh, we were actually just-” Keith tried, but Meidax interrupted. “You see, I don’t know where the cellar is, and Keith has his hands full. And I’d love to trade stories.” He winked towards Shiro before patting Lotor a little too harshly on the head.

Lotor made a displeased face with a furrow of his eyebrows.

Keith looked between Meidax and Shiro, mouth open and carefully assessing the situation.

His shoulders fell when Shiro only shrugged with a smile.

There seemed to be a silent ‘ _we’ll talk later’_ coming from Keith, and it was something Shiro knew he couldn’t avoid.  “If Shiro is alright with it, then… go ahead. He’s also the one who took the wine to the cellars, so he’d know where it was.” Keith eventually agreed, waving the two off.

“Perfect, so. To the cellar, Shirogane?” The smile grew wider.

Shiro felt cold.

* * *

  
Shiro didn’t know where the bottle of wine was placed, and was growing steadily more angry over the search. The cellar was far too large to simply just look around.

He thought about finding the Altean who placed it away, but Meidax was beside him, eyes running over the list of assorted wines from every Galaxy, amused.

“So, Meidax.” Shiro started. He could do this. He could play nice.

For Keith.

“How’d you and Keith meet?”

Meidax snorted. “I met him in a bar on Alkya, during a Blade mission. Keith had completed his portion and was left lonely and beautiful. He looked like a blessing, so I felt the need to strike up a conversation.”

“Ahh,”

“We proceeded to have a wonderful quintant together.” Meidax said, almost smug. “He’s loud and needy in the sack. Just what I needed after everything. Though I’m sure you’re familiar with his ways.”

Shiro stepped back, feeling a little sick at the lack of privacy. He knew Galra were much more open with their sexuality and experience- but humans? And Shiro?! Who grew up in a _very_ traditional Japanese household? This was… a little wrong.

That was his best friend. Who Shiro knew wouldn’t like his private matters be discussed so easily. “Pardon me?”

“Your smell. Especially when you’re around him. It’s the smell of old lovers.” Meidax explained easily as he claws grazed over the unopened corks, eyes glancing towards Shiro like he was prey.

Shiro moved away.

From Shiro’s shift in demeanor, Meidax lifted a perfect brow. Unsurprised yet bold. “Were you not?”

“No!” Shiro threw up his hand defensively. “Never, me and Keith? Absolutely never... Not a-  _No_.”

“So that’s a no, then.”

“Yes.”

“Hmm. Could have fooled me.” Meidax moved closer to Shiro and Shiro flushed at the sudden proximity. “But, from you’re smell, you’re not taken either.” He pressed closer to Shiro, his nose almost making contact with Shiro’s shoulder.

“I’m married.” Shiro stated firmly as he pushed Meidax away. He gestured towards his left finger with the extravagant, million dollar ring. “Have been _happily_ married for _years_ now.” Shiro turned and moved away once again, this time with the intent to leave.

Meidax caught his wrist, keeping him in place.

“Again, could have fooled me.” He purred, eyes going lustful.

Shiro growled and Meidax loomed over him, holding him in place. A hand settled around his waist, pulling Shiro’s back closer to the Galran's chest. He made an implied sound into the shell Shiro’s ear. “You want him, don’t you?”

“No!” Shiro protested, trying to get out of the other’s grip.

“Like how he wants you? How he wishes _I_ were you?” He continued on, shoving Shiro angrily against the cellar wall. The bottles of wine shook, glass clattering like a ringlet of water, moving in pleasant sound waves around them.

“You want him. I know you do.” Meidax snarled. “I saw how you’ve watched me touch him. How you wanted it. _Needed_ it. You got jealous! You wish you knew what I know! How to hold him, what he sounds like-”

“Shut up.”

“How to make him cry out-”

“Stop it!” Shiro screamed, panicked. He slammed his body back against Meidax. It did little good from his position. “He’s happy with you, anyone could see that!”

Shiro never wanted to break that apart.

He truly didn’t want to destroy more things, especially if they made Keith happy.

“Then step away. Him and the kid are mine,” Meidax threatened. Shiro’s hands were suddenly grabbed and held tightly above his head. He was completely unable to throw the other off when he felt a large palm fall over against his softened groin. Shiro hissed at the revolting touch, trying to shift away.

“I just wanted to know what all this fuss was about, over you.” Shiro was about to yell out when he felt a claw grab his jaw and pull him to the side. A large, rough tongue forced itself into his mouth, kissing him harshly.

It only lasted only a mere second long before Meidax moved himself entirely off of Shiro, wiping at his own mouth.

“Not all it’s pent up to be, it seems.”

“You son of a bit-”

“Shiro? Meidax?” It was Keith, calling from the entrance of the cellar up in the stairwell. “Everything okay? You’ve been gone a while.”

Meidax gave him a smug look, gesturing for Shiro to speak. “It- It’s fine, Keith.” Shiro bit out.

With a cruel smile, Meidax reached around Shiro, grabbing at the exact bottle of wine they had been looking for.

Shiro's eyes widened in realization.

“Sorry, just couldn’t find where the bottle had been placed.” Meidax yelled up smoothly, shoving Shiro back into the wall with his shoulder as he walked past and up the stairs. He stood still at the first step.

He was waiting for Shiro to join, that smile never fading from his mouth.

Shiro took a moment to catch his breath before moving swiftly, glaring at Meidax as he grabbed the bottle of wine from his outstretched palm.

Shiro couldn’t help but stare at the large claws that have touched Keith, held Keith, brought pleasure to Keith that Shiro would never know.

“Shiro?” Keith tried again when they made their way back up the cellar. Curtis stood directly behind him. Shiro, body tense, stopped in front of Keith, searching in the other’s eyes for any mentions of pain, of any past harm the Galran behind him may have caused.

He'd stop it now, he'd intervene now if he even found a _glimpse_ of _something_.

Of course, he finds nothing.

He finds nothing but shimmering, glassy purple, desperate concern and obvious  _love._

Shiro clenched the wine’s neck tighter. “Shiro?” Keith whispered.

The three large tiger lilies, all of different colours, stood out in a triangle, placed where the braid falls over his shoulder, the lengthened roots tickling his neck. White, pink, and a deep purple, matching Keith’s rounded eyes. That were looking at Shiro so troubled.

And yet, Keith had never looked more radiant.

He could hear Meidax cough behind the two, Shiro growling. He patted Keith’s shoulder, skipping the hug he so desperately wanted. Probably needed.  His hands gripped tightly over the laced material riding over Keith’s muscled arm, almost wondering if Keith’s shoulder would bruise. Curtis looked on as though he knew Shiro’s underlying thoughts.

He probably did.

Always had.

Maybe he prayed hadn't existed before so he could pretend, just as Shiro continued to do.

Shiro shoved the wine into the other’s grasp, whispering “ _we’ll talk later_ ,” before departing all together. Curtis followed in tow, hands tucked stoically in his pockets.

“What was that about?” Shiro could hear Keith ask in the far background, his soft voice carrying with the wind.

“Nothing. Now come here.”

“What? Meidax, I- Mmf!” The last thing Shiro heard was Meidax slamming Keith into the rocked wall of the Altean, kissing him with that same rough tongue. Keith was left stuttering between breathes.

Shiro almost wondered if the taste of Shiro was still on Meidax’s lips.

Shiro had to keep moving, knowing Meidax was being more forceful to Keith than he had been previously with Shiro.

He felt more than noticed the glare from Curtis.

Shiro wasn’t concerned about that, honestly. It didn’t matter anymore.

Nothing mattered anymore.

But he had to stay around for a bit longer.

Keith was in trouble.

And Shiro couldn’t let it continue, even if he didn’t have the entire story yet.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a week. Thank you everyone for all the luck on my exams! It meant so much!  
> (And in my selfishness I forgot to wish others the same -_- So, good luck everyone on your exams or if anything big is happening soon! I wish you the best of luck!!)  
> Once again, i do all my own editing. I'll be doing a once over tomorrow, and action scenes are not my forte. Apologies in advance.  
> *TW: graphic violence, mentions of blood, forced drugging, and while the act is consensual, Keith is definitely pushed into it, with a pretty bad outcome. Heads up if any of that is a trigger.   
> *This one's a tougher chapter guys.

“ _But his soul was mad. Being alone in the wilderness, it had looked within itself and, by heavens I tell you, it had gone mad._ ” Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness

“They’re worried, y’know?” Lance spoke. They were taking a short walk on Altea, crossing an arched bridge over a running, dainty stream. Lotor was in class, one of the last before being let out for the Holidays. It was the day after the party, and only the 14th, Keith thought. He guessed it was an early let-out period this year, with an earlier start date in January.

Keith had still set up very little for the Holidays, Meidax intervening whenever Keith tried.   
  
Lance cleared his throat, Keith rolling his eyes to turn towards the other with an unimpressed look. “What for?”

“That by your adopting a child from another reality will have a butterfly effect of sorts on us.”

“I believe things happen how they’re supposed to happen. It’s fate, Lance.”

“That’s not what they’re saying.”

Keith sighed, loudly. “People are concerned about everything little thing. If they believe you aren’t doing something right they suddenly become an expert about things they know little about. This isn’t anything new.”

Keith had been doing a stellar job at sheltering Lotor from the viable hate from Earth, their fear of what him being there could do to ‘their’ planet. There were death threats, always sent by letter and from an anonymous being. It was rarely ever in public that Keith saw the fear, felt the hate, but it was still tangible sometimes.

He made sure Lotor never once noticed it.

The boy’s pre-school being on Altea was just one fortunate thing on that front. Kept him away and safe.

“Yeah but when the kid is the heir of a crazed lunatic from another reality, established fear is understandable.”

“I adopted Lotor, a presumed orphan. That’s all.”

“An important, presumed orphan.”

Keith sneered at Lance, lip rising. Lance could see the hint of fang showing. “Every orphan is important. No person is more important than anyone else.”

“Yeah, sure. Like there’s equality between a homeless orphan whose Dad died in a fire and an Emperor of an entire reality.”

Keith said nothing but held onto the railing tighter.

Lance rolled his eyes. “Right. Forgot who I was talking to.” Lance sighed, turning back around to look at the stream. “... Word on the street is you’re dating.”

“News travels fast.” Keith gritted out.

“That tends to happen when you’ve saved the universe. Everyone knows your name and wants to know every little detail about your life..”

“Right from the age of being an unimportant orphan.” Keith quipped.

Lance smiled, moving away from the railing. “I spoke with Shiro.”

Keith hummed, knowing that voice.

“It’s Meidax, right? That douche from last night?”

“Lance-”

“No, Keith. Not with this one. Just let me say my piece.”

Keith nodded, allowing Lance to continue. “No one likes him. There’s an air of… _something_ there. He’s up to something, and that something is _bad_! You’re just the only one who can’t friggin’ see it. Which is weird, because you have the instincts of like… a nun.”

“A nun?”

“Ever been to Sunday school with a nun? They know all and see all.”

“Yes, Lance. As the unimportant orphan that I was, I was raised in a home established by nuns. I’m familiar with their instinctive ways.”

“Alright, alright. I take back the orphan thing! But this whatever thing you have going on with Meidax? It’s bullshit.”

“People like him, Lance. And they should; he’s a nice guy. He’s been nothing but supportive to me and my family since-”

“Keith, wake up and smell the roses! He’s not a good guy!”

“You’re just being racist.”

Lance stepped back, jaw quite literally dropping. “I’m being racist? I didn’t care that Lotor, _our_ Lotor from _this_ reality, started dating Allura simply ‘because he was Galra’, I didn’t care that you were Galra when we had _that_ bomb dropped on us! I don’t judge based on race, because in case you haven't noticed Keith? Not exactly part of the  majority, especially now with these!” Lance pointed towards his markings, Keith shoulders fell in understanding. “People stare at me now, because I look like an alien. Alright? Being alien, being anything other than some majority in any given country is not what I care about, we couldn’t exactly be paladins if I cared about something petty as that. Also! Does no one remember that I almost hooked up with a mermaid? Wasn’t that a thing at some point?!”

Keith chuckled lowly, noticing how Lance was loosening up. He seemed, for a second, like his old self. “It’s just that you can’t see past someone finally willing to stay by your side, someone you actually found attractive who is willing to stay and use you. Don’t blame me and non-factual reasons if you want to get angry. I'm right.”

“He’s not using me.”

Lance huffed, rolling his eyes. “Sure.”

“Lotor likes him.” Keith argued.

“No, Keith. He doesn’t. Actually Lotor really dislikes him. The guy brings him a toy and tells him to run off so he can take you to bed… He just won’t speak up against it to you because he thinks you’re happy.”

“What?” Keith gasped. Lotor liked Meidax, didn’t he? Why wouldn’t he? Meidax always brought him ice cream and gifts from other galaxies. Sure, he didn’t spend a lot of time with the kid, and everyone knew Lotor loved Shiro to the end of the world, but Meidax was good.

He was trying.

“Me? Shiro? Pidge? Hunk? Anyone who actually knows you and matters?” Lance emphasized. “You can do what you want, he hasn’t hurt anyone so he can stay. But just so you know, maybe keep him away from family functions. No one likes him.”

Lance looked towards Keith then, eyes solemn and concerned. “Are you really that lonely that you don’t see it?”

Keith remained silent.

* * *

  
“I would like to try something.” Meidax whispered, claws edging that grey line between pain and pleasure against Keith’s thighs.

“What is it?” Keith whispered, nosing Meidax’s neck. They weren’t completely naked, well, Meidax wasn't anyways. But Lotor had just been put down for his nap in his room when Meidax pulled Keith into the master bedroom and shut the door with a slam, stating that they had time.

Meidax moved from the cushioned bedding, grabbing at his bag. He searched for a few seconds, Keith looking at him quizzically, brushing the hair out of his eyes.

Meidax always preferred Keith with his hair down during these times, even if it got everywhere.

Meidax lifted his chin, eyeing Keith with a predacious gaze. From his claws, Keith could see a long, silken purple cloth, and then a crisp metal bar with two cuffs on either end.

Keith swallowed. “What are those?”

Meidax fell beside Keith, rubbing his hands over the objects.

“I was hoping to try bondage.” He stated so easily. Keith’s eyes widened. “ _Oh_.”

“If you’re unsure, we can have a signal, something to display that you’re not doing well during the process.” Keith blinked. He hadn’t even said yes to the act yet.

“I don’t know… maybe tonight. I have to start dinner soon.”

“But I was hoping to see you in sunlight, Keith.”

“No, I don't think-”

“Lotor will be fine, I promise.”  
  
“But-”

“Keith.”

“.... Fine,” Keith finally agreed. Sooner they could start this the sooner it could be over and he could start dinner. “Just lock the door. And you have one hour.”

“Keith…” Meidax whined immediately, shoulders falling forward a bit as he pouted.

“One hour. Dinner has to be ready and I have a growing child.”

“We could order in.”

“It’d still be in an hour. Meidax, I’m not moving on this. If you want to have sex in the middle of the day while my _son_ is home, there has to be some precautions.”

“Fine. One hour.” Meidax sighed loudly.

Keith tilted himself in Meidax’s arms, kissing under his jaw, feeling the other's growing anger over the lost battle. Keith felt his own instincts wanting to simmer that anger down. “What are they, exactly?” He asked smoothly, licking a clean strip against Meidax's adams apple.

“This,” Meidax said, lifting the scarf. “Is the best Altean cloth on the market. We would use this as the rope, and then attaching your ankles to the bar.”

“Oh,”

“I was thinking of simple Earthen handcuffs and rope, but I’ve seen you in bed. You have the strength of a true Galra, and I was concerned you’d break the bed, or the whatever wall I’d hope to attach you to.” Meidax chuckled, kissing behind Keith’s ear. “You break out of things too easily.”

It was true. Keith was known for his escapism and stealth. And he didn’t exactly want to break any furniture if he let himself go too much. Meidax made a good point.

“O-kay.” Keith agreed, albeit shakily. “I’ll try it.”

“Perfect.” Meidax smiled, Keith noticing the hint of a fang before being overtaken by pleasure.

* * *

  
Keith was damp and wet, completely naked and utterly pathetic. He was so full, it was almost painful. His arms were tied together behind his back, his feet spread by the bar. From all his yoga sessions with Lance, he knew he was locked into a sad and extremely loose attempt at a bow pose. He was fleshed on his stomach, his muscles beginning to hurt from the constant stretch.

He felt Meidax grunt from his position above, spilling into Keith once again, claws ripping at the sides of Keith’s hips. Keith bit his lip, trying to keep himself from crying out. Lotor could not hear this...

Sighing, Meidax fell back, hard cock slipping from Keith as he ran his hardness through his own leaking mess. Meidax hadn’t even removed his own clothes. It was strange since he enjoyed the feel of skin against skin. But, Keith had thought, maybe it was just something different to try. Keith being tied up, in the middle of the day? This was never done before either, so Keith hadn't spent too much time thinking about Meidax’s clothes staying on.   
  
Keith was only realizing it wasn't exactly a kink he shared as well. Either both had to be naked, or neither would be. 

“Mmmm,” Meidax growled from above, tossing Keith away from his mundane thoughts. “What a shame.”

Keith huffed, glazed eyes opening at the words.

“Huh?” He felt disgusting, and would just be glad to get out of this position and have a quick shower. He’d been watching the clock. They were still under the hour mark.

“What a shame.” He saw Meidax shaking his head. “Such a good piece of ass. So beautiful. The way you moan….” Keith felt Meidax grow a little hard, but it was already too late. “Wish we could have continued this.”

Now Keith’s instincts were set on fire.

“What’s going on.” He tried to move from the grips, but he was stuck. He’d been stuck the entire damn time.

“Your son is the heir of Daibazaal, you know.”

“In another reality.” Keith bit out.

Meidax pierced Keith’s skin with his claws, right through his old scar tissues and dragging downwards. This time he did scream, blood falling in trinkles down Keith’s back.

“Oh, no, we can’t have that.” Meidax quickly forced a mouth gag into Keith’s opened mouth, stopping the scream midway. “You’d alert the Prince.” He sighed.

“I am an attendant for Emperor Zarkon, and his brilliant wife Haggar. They wish for their son back, you see? The rightful heir of the throne.”

Keith sneered, brutally trying to shake his body out of its restraints. This had been a fucking set up, all along. How didn’t Keith see it!

“And it was so easy. A few kind words and gifts to your son, and you were puddy in my hands. It was so easy.”

Keith was crying, trying to scream around the gag, yelling for Lotor to run, for Kosmo to come and take him away.  

“It was fun while it lasted, though. You were definitely one of the better fucks I’ve had in awhile. Let me do whatever I wanted… you were truly lonely, weren’t you?”

Keith tried to moved his eyes away from Meidax, who pressed his fingers into Keith’s chin, ripping at the skin.

“I won’t kill you for your wrong doings though. Not immediately. You will die here alone, most likely, someone coming to find you when it’s far too late. You’re not too loved, luckily for me, so no one will be around for a while. For now, the Prince is mine.” His hands pressed kindly through Keith’s hair. Like he was mourning the loss already.

Keith was shaking around in his grips, never stopping, snarling and trying to break out. From the edge of his eye, he saw, through the slightly parted doorway, Lotor’s widened eyes. The child was shaking, his hands covering his mouth. Keith became a frantic. Meidax had moved away, rummaging through his bag to pull out a sharpened blade, and a cloth. He poured some sort of liquid over it. Keith’s eyes instantly teared up at the smell. He was going to use chloroform to knock out Lotor.

But Keith stared at Lotor, shaking his head, yelling at him to run. Spit was drooling from his red lips.

“Oh, will you please be quiet.” Meidax said, knocking the butt of his blade against Keith’s head. The mouth gag move slightly from the action, and Keith used his fangs to bite through the, thankfully, earthen leather bounds.

It fell from his lips. Keith spit out the gag screamed, “LOTOR RUN!”

“You son of a bitch!” Meidax struck Keith again, a trickle of blood falling from his head.

Lotor ran steadfast into the room, throwing his little body against Meidax.

“What the-” Meidax, not expecting the blur of purple, dropped his blade, screaming when Lotor’s teeth pierced the skin of his arm. “You bitch!” He yelled, throwing the child against the wall.

“Lotor! Run! Now!” Keith pleaded. Lotor, even a little dazed, grabbed the blade and ran, going for help.

The phone lines were still down.

The hacking- the unusual ways they’d fallen, leaving them without power..

“It was a setup… You just used me..” Keith panted, vision blurring.

Meidax was still on the floor, holding his bleeding arm in shock. Keith noticed, just barely, as Meidax haphazardly searched through his bag. He was in an obvious rush now that Lotor was running.  
  
“Yes, my ship wasn’t running properly after coming through the rift, and I needed time to get it set back up. Being on Earth, your Galaxy Garrison signals interfered with my own. Had to cut them out to let my Emperor know of my close return... And we both got laid in the process, so it wasn’t exactly horrendous.” He punched Keith once more in the face.

“You’ll never get away with this,” Keith panted, head banging as he felt his jaw and eye swelling. He felt as yet another gag was placed into his mouth,only to be followed by a piercing prick to his skin.

The drugs effects were immediate.

“There. That’ll stop your wolf from interfering. Maybe you’ll even choke to death on your own blood.”

Swollen eyes drooped as he watched Meidax chase Lotor down the hall. Keith never stopped shouting. He didn’t allow himself to fall unconscious to the drug or the pain. He needed to get a hold of someone, something! Kosmo, Kosmo could save Lotor. He just needed to keep screaming.

Blood fell in dribbled bits from his gag.

* * *

  
Shiro hadn’t moved much from his spot. He began lying on the couch soon after Curtis left. The other seemed understanding, resigned to the entire situation now, no longer contemplative or hopeful.

He had tried, Shiro would always admit. Curtis had always tried to be there for him. Their situations were just too different, Shiro not wanting to accept his own need for help, or his own mental issues.

Eventually, Curtis gave up. It’s a hard lesson to learn; you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, who doesn’t feel deserving of being saved. Shiro just felt bad that he was the one to teach Curtis, ever the optimist at one point in time, that lesson.

Shiro’s mind was still floating as it usually did, but his anger over the night before kept him grounded, kept his mind feeling a little less cloudy.

He could feel his body, the tips of his toes and his fingers again. Could fell the entirety of his chest as he inhaled and exhaled.

He could feel it all.

He tightened his fist.  
  
Shiro hated Meidax. His eyes. They were always bare, predatory, like a great white sharks. There was little soul there.

Meidax, who he knew was visiting Keith’s today, from a conversation that took place as Keith left with Lotor when it was time to put the kid to bed, since the kid had fallen asleep in his arms...

_‘I’ll see you tomorrow?’ Keith had smiled, eyes hopeful._

_Meidax had only nodded, pressing a kiss to Keith’s forehead._  
  
It had all been done separated and isolated from the group.

But Shiro had seen, watched as Lance leaned against a column with his arms crossed, staring at the two with only a minor hint of disgust.

Lance looked more sad for Keith than he had looked angry. Shiro understood the feeling well.

Shiro was just mad now, the sullen feelings long since drifting away.

He had had a plan. A long since developed plan.

A plan he knew now he couldn’t go through with, not until he knew for sure he’d be leaving Keith in a better place, with someone who wasn’t that shitty Galra.

Shiro remembered, then, that he still had Lotor’s video game system from his birthday party at his house, wrapped neatly in a little bag at the doorway. Shiro just kept forgetting to bring it with him.

He shifted, looking at his watch. He realized he had a few hours to passed since Curtis left, it had felt like it passed at a snap of his fingers... but if Meidax was going to Keith’s place at some point today, then Shiro knew Lotor would probably want his gaming system for something to do while- well. Meidax wasn’t the most accommodating to a child’s needs… He was more interested in his own. He could reign it in well enough around the kid, but he was after one thing…

Yeah, maybe heading to the desert to drop off Lotor’s stuff was a good idea. Hopefully Keith wouldn’t mind being disrupted too much, with Shiro coming out of the blue. His service and power were still down, after all. So it wasn’t like he could just ask.

Another ten minutes had passed as Shiro thought it all over. Was he being a pest? Just showing up? Would that be considered rude?

... would he accidentally walk in on Meidax trying to take Keith right then and there? Was this a good idea?

Yes. Lotor would be thankful. Maybe Shiro could even take the youngster for dinner, allowing Keith some time alone with the absolute shithead.

Yeah, Shiro decided.

Time to go.

* * *

  
Lotor ran out of the house from the back door, letting it swing and remain open. He tore down the road and past the tree. He knew the phones were down, there wasn’t service right now, he couldn’t-

But the hovercraft.

Papa's parked hovercraft, even if Lotor couldn’t reach all the pedals, that- could it work? He hoped Papa wouldn’t get angry. Lotor ran as fast as he could and jumped on the vehicle, crying out when he saw Meidax running towards him. The key, which was usually left in the ignition, was gone. Lotor swung the thrusters forward, hoping for some sort of magic to start it. He was careful of the blade's edge as he tried to work the stupid machine.

He cried out instead, calling for the wolf instead when he found to have no such luck.

Kosmo woke up from his nap in his shelter, ears twitching as he watched the commotion. Lotor was on the stabilized hovercraft. He looked scared, eyes wide and frightened and he tried to move the thrusters.

Kosmo noticed Meidax tearing it through the dirt towards the kid, claws out and ready to _hurt_ him.

Kosmo snarled, pouncing on Meidax without another thought. But Meidax saw the wolf and kicked at his chest. Kosmo landed stiffly, immediately growling. Meidax reached for the small dagger attached to his belt, threatening the wolf. 

“Come any closer and I’ll gut you.” Meidax spoke, thrusting the small blade towards Kosmo. "The kid is mine."

Kosmo was snarling as he jumped back when Meidax swiped at him. Kosmo then bushed his shoulder and tail up as he circled the Galra, to look larger than he was. This person was threatening his family, and that absolutely was not allowed.

Kosmo was out for blood.

The wolf watched as Meidax slipped closer and closer to where Lotor was hiding, watching with wide eyes as he tried to peer over the hovercraft.

There was smoke in the distance as a vehicle approached.

“Ah, fuck.” Meidax yelled. He jumped just as Kosmo took a leap, stabbing the wolf in the shoulder. He tossed him to the side as he hurled himself over Keith's craft, grabbing onto Lotor as the kid dropped the larger blade from his hands. “Come on, kid. Play nice.” Meidax taunted, the slightest bit of fear obvious from the tremour in his voice.

Lotor screamed out, kicking the Galra while in his arms. Lotor used his mouth again, biting at Meidax’s skin of his bicep, trying to get him to stop rummaging through the bag around his shoulder. “You hurt Papa!” The child shrieked. “You hurt my Papa!” He was crying and screaming loudly, just as Papa told him to do if he was ever someone ever attacked him or tried to take Lotor away.

“That’s not your Papa you insolent scum!”

“What the hell is going on here!” Shiro screamed as he jumped off his bike. From the hovercraft, he grabbed for Curtis’ garrison issued stun gun, aiming it straight at Meidax.

“He hurt Papa! He hurt Papa!” Lotor cried out in desperation as Meidax began searching his surroundings for a route of escape. There was a crazed, wild look to his eye.

Shiro didn't like that look. Reminded him too well of the all the Galra he once faced during the arena matches.

_Champion._

Shiro looked between the squirming child and the Galra, cocking the gun slightly. Shiro spoke calmly. "If he speaks the truth, Meidax, then you will be sentenced as an enemy of the state.”

Meidax almost smiled at Shiro’s words. Like he was a panther about to kill a kitten.

Shiro didn't care for that type of cockiness. “Let him go.” He pressed a button on the gun, causing it to silently record the scene, sending the footage straight to the Garrison in hopes for an immediate emergency response.

Thank god he took Curtis’ bike.

Meidax lifted the dagger to Lotor's throat. “Don’t come any closer, Shirogane. That’s a warning.”

“He hurt Papa! He hurt Papa!” The child continued to scream during his useless attempts to escape.

“Shut up!” Commanded Meidax. Lotor didn’t, swinging his legs around as he tried to kick at Meidax's arm.

Shiro then eyed Kosmo, who managed to lift his head and nod as they both silently agreed, eyes dragging from Lotor’s shoe to Meidax’s hysterical expression.

“Meidax. Drop him.” Shiro said, walking slowly towards the two.

Meidax couldn’t get a good grip on the child with the dagger in his hand, while still trying to rummage around his bag with the other. He left himself weak.

“Just, let go of Lotor, Meidax!” Shiro commanded.

“No!” Meidax barked in retort, backing up. “After all that I have done? After all I have suffered through just to get to this moment? You think I would let this chance go? I have spent too much time, lost too many friends through the rift! But- but I! I survived! So _I’m_ taking him back to _my_ Emperor.”

Meidax stopped shifting through his bag, instead holding Lotor tighter.

“Come any closer and I will hurt the kid. They want him alive, but if he's just another fatality throughout all of this, I’m sure Emperor Zarkon will be understanding as long as the body is returned to them at the earliest convenience.”

Shiro did so, moving his palms up as Meidax bunted the dagger’s edge against Lotor’s throat, the smallest bit of blood beginning to drip forward onto the steel. Lotor fell silent and still, staring at Shiro. He looked strong, more concerned for his Papa than himself.

Shiro felt pride over it.

“Shiro,” Lotor choked out, voice small and quit. It was the first time the child had ever said Shiro’s name correctly.

“He hurt Papa- save Papa-” The dagger dug into Lotor’s skin and the kid stopped speaking.

Shiro nodded stiffly, trying to keep Meidax in the position. It only took twenty minutes for the Garrison to respond and get to Keith’s house.

“Where’s Keith,” he question then, watching Meidax backing up, moving away with Lotor still held tightly in his arms.

“He’ll be dead soon.”

Things grew quiet, even as Kosmo tried to straighten himself up with a whimper. More blood fell from the knife and Lotor chocked out a whimper from the pain of it all. His eyes squeezed shut.

“Let him go, Meidax!”

“Vrepit Sa.” And Meidax tried to make a run for it towards his own vehicle.

With that, Lotor cried out, throwing himself backwards into the man's grip and biting him harshly. steering clear of the knife.  The Galra screamed out, and Shiro yelled, “Kosmo! Now!”

Kosmo transferred in the air, biting harshly at Lotor’s shoe. But, it worked, and the two of them, and only the two of them, disappeared in a flash of blue.

“NO!”

Shiro felt the gun vibrate, noticed the two red dots flashing. The signal had been received with the live video. The Garrison was on their way.  
  
The desert wind blew between the two leftover beings.

“They’re gone, Meidax. And the Garrison has been contacted. They’ll be here soon.”

Meidax stayed impossibly still, claws out and fangs dripping with saliva.

The dagger hit the ground as Meidax's fingers twitched.

“I know,” he started, crazed, “that it takes twenty minutes for the Garrison to fly out here. Wanna know something fun?”

Shiro raised the stun gun again.

“I can kill people in seconds.” Meidax jumped just as Shiro shot fire.

* * *

 

Lotor landed on Altea on all fours, right underneath Kosmo. Lance giving a speech to a group of young tourists just on the hillside. Kosmo bit at the back of Lotor’s collar, lifting him up and dragging the child, limping towards help.

“Un-cal Lans!! _Un-cal Lans_!!!” Lotor screamed, desperate. They noticed the moment Lance did a double take, not believing his eyes. He parted through the crowd, running down the hill to catch Lotor as he fell on a slippery patch of dirt.

“It’s Papa! He hurt Papa!” Lotor screamed, wailing his fists on Lance’s chest. Lance pulled the child to his arms, standing tall. He looked over Kosmo, noticing the blood gushing from the wound.

“What happened? Lotor, what happened to Keith?” Lance begged the question, looking at Lotor perched and sobbing on his waist. Lance noticed the blood smearing from the child’s neck and punctured shoe. The punctured shoe, at least, Lance could take a guess as to what happened.

“Meidax!" Lotor explained through tearful wails. "He hurt Papa, and Shiro now, too! But- Papa! Lans he hurt Papa badly.”

“Did Papa tell you to run? To get help?”

Lotor nodded, rubbing his eyes. “He just said ‘r-rr-run’.” Lance turned, noticing the familiar orange hair galloping towards them. Lance frowned, passing Lotor to Coran. “Lotor, stay with Coran, okay? Be a good boy. He’ll patch you up.” Lance promised, looking quickly over the deep wolf bites.

Lance side eyed Kosmo, knowing the cosmic wolf would never intentionally hurt the kid without a good reason.

“But, Papa-” Lotor cried instead. “I wanna see Papa! I wanna see Papa! I WANNA SEE PAPA!” Lance and Coran both shushed him, Lance’s family now taking over the tour group, leading them away from the chaos.

“You will! But Papa wants you safe, which is here.”

Lotor continued to scream, causing aches ringing through Lance’s ears. He just knew he’d be deaf by 40. “You will. You will soon. I promise you, Lotor. You’ll see Papa soon. But you have to be a big boy now, okay? And then in just a few hours you’ll see Papa again, okay?”

Lotor sniffed, still holding onto Lance’s outstretched hand.

“Promise?”

Both Lance and Coran looked at each other. They didn’t know what happened, but if Meidax was involved...

“We promise.” Coran spoke sincerely. He’d take the fall if anything bad happened- what if-

Kosmo nipped at Lance’s hand, limping backwards.

“Will you be able to make it another trip, buddy?” Lance asked for only the two of them to hear, petting the wolf's muzzle. Kosmo didn’t make a sound.

Instead he only stared into Lance’s eyes.

He was going to save Keith, with or without Lance's. That was a fact.

Lance patted behind the wolf's ear, grabbing onto the fur.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

* * *

  
Shiro was putting up a good fight, but a few years without the gym and doing constant fight training led him to make stupid mistakes. Lucky for him, Meidax was better with his words than his fists.

Shiro had the larger Galra pinned against the tree, pressing his prosthetic against the back of his neck, trying his damdest to keep him where he was. He used the stun gun three times, hoping it wouldn’t kill the damned beast. He needed information.

“What do you want with Lotor?”

“Ask the bitch…”

Shiro would loved to stomp on his damned ankle. “Where. Is. Keith.”

Meidax spit at Shiro’s shoes. “The bitch is inside, fucked out, maybe dead. Who knows.”

Shiro pressed the gun to his temple. “What did you do to him.” He breathed the words against Meidax’s ear. It was harsh, roughened. How _dare_ anyone touch Lotor, touch Keith. Shiro was livid, angered in a way he hadn’t been in years.

If ever.

“I didn’t do anything he didn’t want.”

“What did you do to him?!”

Meidax let blood spill from his lips, coughing. Choking. “He was so lonely, you know? The first night we met, he was in a pub, drinking alone. He talked to you, for hours, for fucking hours, he was blushing and like a damned school girl smiling at you. But you? You already had a husband, and he was tossed to the side, yet again, heartbroken with nowhere to turn. It had been so easy.”

“Shut up.”

There was blood stained to his teeth when me smiled wide. “He cries when you fuck him. He loves it rough, loves when someone takes the control he never wanted.”

“Shut up!” Shiro commanded.

“He’d beg and beg, and he’d be on his knees at a snap of a finger, completely at my mercy, just because the bitch was never told ‘I love you’ back..." Meidax shook his head. "It was so easy.”

Shiro did stomp on his ankle then, or attempt to at least. In his anger, he let his guard down, softening his hold on Meidax's body. Meidax twisted against the leverage and then forced Shiro against the tree, slamming his head against the bark with a single claw. Shiro felt as Meidax leaned over Shiro's body, just as he had the night before when he kissed Shiro.

“I bet you any money that he wished it had been you, all along. Probably even imagined it with me.” Meidax grabbed Shiro’s hands, twisting them backwards and shoving the man onto the ground.

“Fine piece of ass, too. Sadly I have a job to do and you all got in the way. Hopefully there’s no hard feelings.”

Meidax pressed Shiro’s face into the dirt, rubbing it cruelly into the soil, the rocks skinning his cheeks. Shiro kicked out his feet, trying to hit Meidax’s groin.  
  
Meidax seemed unimpressed by this, only having to tilt his hips out of the way to avoid Shiro's kicks.

“Ah, ah, ah. This isn’t a bar fight, Shiro.” Meidax smiled. “Show some class.”

He grabbed the short white hairs on Shiro’s forehead, whamming him into a rock. Shiro’s vision began to tunnel from the pain, the ringing overpowering. The small dagger still lay on the ground, a few feet away from Shiro's tearing cheekbone.

A swarming powder of blue came from above, and suddenly Kosmo, and surprisingly Lance, dropped from the sky.

Lance threw his weight into Meidax’s side, tossing him straight into the cosmic wolf.

Kosmo bit at Meidax’s calf, forcing him off the older human. Meidax reached for the small dagger, taking it into his hand as he fell onto his side. He tripped over his own feet, landing with a sharp thud. He hadn’t quite realized what had happened before Lance kicked at his palm, sending the dagger flying too far away. With Kosmo and Lance together, they held the Galra down, but just barely. He was strong and tall, his much larger build becoming an issue.

Lance huffed, breath heavy as he turned to Shiro, who struggled onto his hands and knees.

Lance noticed blood falling the dirt. “Shiro?” He asked.

“It’s fine, Lance.” Shiro stumbled upwards, walking towards Meidax. “You hurt Lotor, and you’ve hurt Keith. As former paladins of Voltron, we do not allow the aimless treatment of one of our own. You’ll pay, Meidax.”

Meidax began laughing boisterously on the ground. “Aimless treatment? Of one of your own? Jesus, what world are you living in, Shirogane? Without Lotor around I’m sure you two wouldn’t even be talking beyond your sad, little, one year anniversary. Friends? Found family? I don’t see it anywhere, and neither does Keith.” Meidax spat blood and coughed. “Maybe think about what you say before dropping one of your heartfelt little speeches on me, or has it been too long and you’ve dried up?”

This time it was Lance who sat up straight and whammed his foot into Meidax’s head, the Galra finally falling unconscious. Lance hissed, trying to shake his foot out from the sudden wave of pain. He looked over his own skin, the bruises already beginning to spread from his own minor fight, if falling from the sky and holding down a Galra could be called that.

Kosmo collapsed over the Galra, panting as his wound still bled.

“Oh, Kosmo.” Shiro stuttered, falling to the ground to brush his hand over the gushing mess. Kosmo whined loudly, knocking Shiro’s hand away with his muzzle.

“What is it?”

Kosmo turned towards the house, crying out.

“Keith’s still in there.” Shiro breathed. Lance and Shiro looked at each other. Searching through Meidax’s bag and finding an unused Altean cloth, they quickly tied the unconscious Meidax to the tree for the Garrison to find before dashing inside. Hopefully Kosmo could hold his own if Meidax awoke and put up a fight.

The sight inside was one to behold. All the furniture was tossed haphazardly around the room in Meidax’s attempt of getting to Lotor. It looked like a hurricane had pierced its way through, causing chaos and destruction everywhere it went.

Shiro analyzed and the room with precision, wary of the broken glass and wood from the broken chairs as the two bolted up the stairway.

Lotor’s door was wide opened, but nothing was out of place. Thankfully. Instead, Shiro heard the small cries from the end of the hallway, the opened door showing a smidgen of what laid bare.

The sight was ghastly.

Lance stalled at the opened doorway, holding his breath as he hands covered his mouth in shock.

Keith was naked, bleeding, and tied up, barely able to breath. He was still moving against the sheets, his desperation cutting off the blood flow to his hands and feet. The skin was turning purple. Keith seemed to be saying something behind the gag, just a single phrase on repeat as he cried. His eyes were glassy and tearful. By the jitter of his pupils-

“Jesus Christ.” Lance said, emitting Shiro’s very own thoughts. There was blood everywhere, and dried bits of liquid they didn’t want to think about around Keith’s lower half… puddling on the sheets. They could tell by Keith’s glazed expression that he was too out of it to notice them.

“That cloth is Altean, the same one we used on-” Lance breathed, looking at the purple linen keeping his friend tied up. “It’s impossible to cut threw with an earthen metal.”

Shiro swore, searching for Keith’s dagger.

“Fuck!” He shouted, causing Keith to jump and mutter more sounds. Lance moved forward, releasing the mouth gag from his friend's bruised and swollen lips. Keith coughed, his head falling limp and sweaty against the mattress. His entire being shuttered as he took in a deep breath. “Lo..tor... He- L-Lot..or..” He was begging, but his voice was so small, throat so dry and mouth filling with the rusty liquid.

“He’s out of it.” Lance said, brushing the damp hair from Keith's face. Looking over the opened wounds on his back, thighs, and shoulder, and the bruises on his face, Lance could only shake his head. There was a small poked wound on his neck, Lance then noticing the abandoned syringe beside his foot under the bed.

He'd almost stepped on it.

Lance was coming up with conclusions that he needed to hear were untrue.

This couldn't have happened. Not to  _Keith_ of all people.

“This isn’t- Meidax didn’t-”

“No.” Shiro said sturdily. “I don’t think so. He said he only did what Keith wanted.”

“And bleeding and being tied up and _drugged_ without a way to breathe or help Lotor was what Keith wanted?!”

“This isn’t the time to argue, Lance. Help me find his blade to cut through that fucking cloth!” Lance only did as he was told from the shock at Shiro’s enraged voice. Lance had very rarely heard that side of Shiro too often, and when he had…

Together they soon found the blade in a hidden cabinet under the sink and cut through the straps, Keith’s body falling completely still.

“Fuck…” Lance breathed, already tired. He saw the Galaxy Garrison’s emergency units approaching outside in the distance. Dust was flying like a damned tornado from the vehicles speed.

“We should cover him up, before taking him to the hospital.” Lance said. It's what Keith would want, anyways. 

Shiro only nodded, staring down at the naked form of his friend. Shiro's eyes shifted with a sneer. “Lance, stand back.”

“What?”

“I’m cutting through the metal.”

“Won’t that burn him?!”

_He was so lonely, you know?_

Shiro felt the metal of his own prosthetic arm heat up, a continued anger surging through him.

_He cries when you fuck him._

Shiro shook his head, grabbing at the metal directly at Keith’s ankles, holding his legs apart.

_He’d beg and beg._

“Shiro?” Lance asked, watching a darkness shroud his friend’s eyes.

_Just because the bitch was never told ‘I love you’ back…_

Shiro snapped the metal apart from Keith’s legs with a scream, the newly pierced bars melting through the palms of his fingertips as Keith’s legs dropped to the mattress, free.

Shiro wrapped Keith up in the a clean sheet, pulling him to his chest, holding him tightly. They'd worry about the cuffs around his ankles later.

Together, they walked down the stairs, Shiro careful of any movement that may cause further harm to Keith, or jostle him in his drugged state. Luckily no such thing happened. They managed to open the front door in silence just as Garrison personal began to arrive, their medics included. Shiro held Keith more tightly, then, too precious to let go of, his hands wrapped under Keith’s knees and around his back.

Shiro didn’t like it when Keith’s head lulled against his collarbone, completely unconscious and barely breathing, his skin still sweating and body still shaking. Shiro never let Keith out of his arms as Griffin, Kinkade, and Iverson ushered him and Lance into the ambulance. He didn't let go even as they reached the Hospital.

He couldn’t.

He just couldn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And theres more fanart!!! Give it up to praetsw_art on twitter for their beautiful pieces. I love how they did the snow and Keith's outfit from last chapter here!! It's beautiful and I love it so much:  
> https://twitter.com/praetsw/status/1118563549456896000


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished my 5 exams, I cleaned/packed/moved the day after, I got my wisdom teeth out, read 2/10 books on my summer reading list, almost got caught back up on GoT, and I start working 1 of my 2 jobs this week so its been fun guis, hope the wait hasn't been too long.  
> this and the next chapter are BEASTS so have fun!  
> warning: fluff and confusion and anger and major angst and a death occurs, now go forth and be free

_“When everything was beautiful and nothing hurt..._ ” Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

Keith woke to the smell of antiseptic, because after being drugged by a lunatic, this is where one wakes up.

Where they feel comfortable.

Machines were whirring to life and beeping, and Keith? Keith felt tired. Done for. He wanted to sleep forever.

He groaned, blinking his eyes awake, noticing immediately the blurred edges of Shiro asleep beside him, and Lance sitting with Lotor on his lap on the other side. He laid the heel of his palm to his eye, trying to clear his vision.

“You’re here,” Keith croaked, voice rusty and breakable.

Lance jumped a little at the noise, Lotor napping against his chest. “You’re awake!” He managed to keep his surprised voice down to a whisper. “How do you feel?”

Keith gave him a glare, Lance wishing to move away if he had been able. “Sorry I asked…”

Keith sighed, closing his eyes against the harsh light. The beeping. It was all around him. It was driving him mad. Keith felt his fangs begin to appear.

“Just say it,” he whispered out, harshly. “Just say it.”

“I won’t, Keith.”

“We won’t.” Shiro awakened then, moving forward in his position on the chair. He ran his eyes over Keith’s sad form, once again bruised and beaten in a hospital bed, because what’s new? He looked like he wanted to ask, but he didn’t.

“How long this time?”

“Just a day. We, uhh, we found you yesterday.” Shiro explained, wringing his hands together. “After Meidax…”

“He’s here for Lotor.” Keith whispered, sadly, hands still over his face. “He’s a scout for Haggar and Zarkon. They want Lotor back.” He sounded as though he wanted to cry. “How’d they even find out he survived?! What if next time-”

Shiro patted his knee over top of the blanket in an attempt to calm the other. “Hey, no. No, no. That won’t happen. None of us will let that happen.”

Keith wasn’t listening. “The people were right, Lance. There was a problem. This isn’t just selfish fate.”

Shiro whirred around to face Lance, who shot his hands up in defence. “You told him!?”

“I had to! The school was getting death threats, my Mom-”

“The school?” Shiro seemed stunned by the information.

“Yeah, and the fear makes sense. People just got over one war from a crazy lunatic tyrant. Now we might have to deal with one from another dimension?! Just ‘cause Keith accidentally abducted his kid?”

“It’s palpable, I guess. The fear.” Shir agreed.

“And after seeing what Meidax did to Keith, after he ra-...” Lance openly winced and Keith’s eyes fell steadfast into a glare, pupils going small and cat like. “I’m just glad I told him. We know more now… I just wanna know how he found us…” Lance looked at the sleeping boy in his arms. “Him.”

Keith lifted his hands away from his face, perfectly calm, suddenly, and ignoring the last part of Lance’s words. “And what did Meidax do to me, Lance?”

Lance gulped, looking sheepish. “Keith, I- I’m not sure we should-”

“I wasn’t raped.” Keith said easily, and there was a relief felt in the room, though it remained unbalanced. “I know how it looks, but it had been consensual, beforehand. It wasn’t until after that I realized…” Keith placed his hands over his face, hiding himself.

“It may have not have been as drastic, but he still took severe advantage of you, Keith.” It was Shiro, Shiro’s forever calming voice that held Keith together when he was falling apart. “We know it hurts.”

Keith was shaking his head. “I just- I thought that-”

Lance placed Lotor onto the chair, still asleep. He came over to Keith, and placed an arm around his shoulders.

“You don’t have to say anything, Keith.”

Keith took the silence to keep himself under control.

He couldn’t break now.

“Where is Meidax now?” Keith question then instead. There was too many questions he had, and he needed to extract information.

Why was he here for so long? Why didn’t he try and kidnap Lotor and them hurt when they first met?

How did he get through?  
  
He watched as Lance and Shiro shifted around in their spots.

“He’s, uhh, under Garrison detainment. He’s tried to escape and even made it to his craft before being taken again…” Lance spoke evenly, staring at Shiro.

“He admitted that he was going to find you; finish the job he’d been sent on.”

“He was going to come to the Hospital?” Keith asked, breath leaving his chest.

“He didn’t make it though. And he’s under heavy duty imprisonment now. He won’t be leaving the Garrison or even moving to go to the washroom by himself for a while now. He hasn’t spoken since, Keith. He’s gone mute.”

There was too much to take in, and Keith was still too groggy. So he looked at the little boy in Lance’s lap, luckily asleep.  
  
“I’m sorry, Keith-” Shiro tried but was waved off with a point to Lotor. Keith tried to pick himself a little with Shiro’s help. They struggled and Keith fell back against the pill stiffly. With a groan, Keith asked, “H-how is he?”

“Scared. He saved you.” Lance said, and Keith noticed the small white bandage against Lotor’s neck, and how his foot looked like it was bandaged up.

“With Kosmo’s help.” Shiro added, coming to the other side of the bed. “He got to Altea and found Lance.”

“I handed him to Coran, who cleaned him up. Came straight to the hospital afterwards and hasn’t left your side since.”

This was becoming all too much the norm.

Keith turned to Shiro then. He was bruised, cuts and scrapes along his cheek that would heal with time. His good arm was in a wrist support. “What happened to you?” Keith tried to push himself further upwards, his stomach churning to heavily to be able to afford much movement. Keith groaned, falling back onto the mattress, this time in utter defeat. No more attempts would be made.

“I fought Meidax, got him away from the kiddo. Definitely packs a punch.” The words were self-deprecating and Keith winced at the implications.

Meidax did all of that to Shiro, and only because Keith hadn’t listened.

“How long do you have to be in that wrist support?”

Shiro shrugged. “Doc said a week. Maybe two.”

Huh.

The Doctor came into the room then, interrupting any further conversation. He checked over all of Keith’s wounds, saying he could would be permitted to leave the next day if he felt up to it.

Shiro and Lance stayed in the room, listening to the Doctor as he told Keith about mandatory prescriptions. Just T3s, if he feels as though he needed them. Keith asked for anti-nauseants, remembering how his stomach needed them the last time he transferred over to T3s. That may have been more due to being cut of cold turkey from the morphine, but it was always good to have just in case.

Keith was glad any injuries gained were more mental than physical. His muscles were stretched and some ligaments tore from Meidax’s treatment, and his back was more sensitive than ever. But Keith was doing well.

All things considered.

Keith was beginning to fall back asleep when he heard Lance whispering loudly to Shiro.

“I don’t think he should be alone after this.”

Shiro said nothing.

“Well? You’re alone for the Holidays. Can I volunteer you to take of care him? The guy needs help, Shiro. And after all the times he’s saved you? I think you owe him one.” It’s a harsh truth in a way, yet it's honest. Lance had never been good at keeping his thoughts to himself.

“As many times as it takes.” Shiro muttered to himself.

It was like they were back in the castleship, the buzz of the automotive machine whirring around them, like the stupid, beeping machines of Keith’s heart monitor.

It spiked a little, and Lance and Shiro of course noticed.

“Would that be okay, Keith? I know you’re still awake.” Lance. Of course.

Keith felt his eye twitch. “Whatever.”

“Perfect. Then Shiro’s gonna stay with you until you get better. Have fun guys.” With that, Lance left the room, leaving a gaping Shiro in his midst.

He just set them up so badly.

* * *

  
Living with Shiro was… not as bad as Keith would have recently thought, and just about as good as his old dreams always made it out to be.

Shiro was helpful around the house. He slept in the guest bedroom, quiet, and kept everything efficiently organized. He hadn’t brought a lot from his own place, just a few books, clothes, and his computer for work. Other than what the Mansion would make one presume, Shiro was very minimalistic, needed very little to keep himself happy.

He made sure Keith took the needed prescription pills when he needed to alongside the multivitamins the Doctor had requested Keith to use. Otherwise, Keith was once again on bed (or couch) rest, which Keith just absolutely adored.

Luckily, Lotor, who’s neck wound healed relatively quickly, was as rambunctious as ever. His foot, however, kept him a little more cautious than usual. But luckily, either the Galran or Altean blood was at play, and his wounds seemingly healed overnight, with minor repercussions, physically speaking.  
  
And Lotor loved Shiro. He loved playing with Shiro. He loved having Shiro and Keith both read him bedtime stories. He loved waking up to Shiro making coffee while Keith organized breakfast as best he could.

The kid said as much, aloud, constantly, about how much nicer Shiro was than ‘the otha guy’. Lotor refused to say the Galra’s name out loud, which Keith was a little thankful for.  
  
It took  a few days after the hospital for Keith to be up and moving, extremely slowly and with some pain. But it was better than nothing, and Keith was Keith. He typically ignored his own pain in favour of picking up his kid.

“Shiro! Shiro! Wanna play that game you got me? For my birfday? I wanna play it wif you!” And Shiro had trouble saying no to the kid.

Whether it was playing a game Lotor wanted, reading just one more story before bedtime, or having just one more cookie before dinner.

Shiro was a menace.

“You’re spoiling him.”

“Am not.” Shiro teased, getting out of his chair at the table to join Lotor on the couch, who was starting up the gaming system.

Keith joined as well, picking at the cut up pieces of fruit he made for everyone’s breakfast. Porridge and fruit.

He watched as Shiro was legitimately destroyed by Lotor, who could race around the tracks like no other.

“If this was real life, I’d have you beat!” Shiro yelled, and Lotor would gasp. “Can we?! Wace in weal life?!”

“Not until you get your license.” Keith immediately spoke, watching the two with his hand against his hand.

His mind kept playing the scenes over and over again, making them into something more than it was. It was something Keith hated.

Lotor groaned, turning back to the game and throwing a red shell at Shiro. Cruel, honestly. He’d already lapped the older man who was stuck in twelfth place.

Keith could only laugh to himself.

When they turned off the game, Lotor put the TV back onto cable. It was a live broadcast of some woman who was baking. Christmas decorations adorned her table, with a beautiful, lush, and presumably fake Christmas tree in the background.

Lotor’s eyes went wide.

“Papa! Papa!” Waz that?! Is that for Chwismas?!”

“It’s a Christmas tree. Remember how all of Lance’s trees on his farm were decorated? It’s the same idea.”

“I tot, I tot that was just for the paw-ty?”

Keith shifted. “Possibly, but the decorations were specifically for Christmas, so I’m sure Lance hasn’t taken them down.”

“Does eva-wy-one have Chwismas twees?”

“Well, anyone who celebrates Christmas, yes.”

Lotor gasped. “Who wouldn’t celebrate Christmas?! And Santa?! Papa would Santa be mad if we don’t have a tree?! And we awh in the middle of no-wha. Can he find us!? Papa?! Papa what if Santa can’t find us?!”

“Calm down, Buddy.” Shiro laughed, a little spark relit in his eyes. “I didn’t celebrate Christmas growing up, since my grandfather believed in the Shinto religion.”

“Super old, traditionalist family?” Keith asked then.

“My family has a long lineage from Japan.”

“Purely Japanese then.”

“Pure blood, I think, or at least that’s what they would always say. Who knows, though. But Lotor, everyone has different beliefs.”

“But, you said used to. Do you beweive in Santa now?”

Shiro blinked and his mouth fell open. Shiro had never been good at lying.

He gulped. “Uhhh - yup. Big believer in the uhh, Santa faith. Yup.”

“Hmm. Good. I was wohwied that Santa wouldn’t come if there wasn’t a believer in the house.” Lotor fell back against the couch with his arms crossed.

“Doesn’t work like that. But, you are right, Lotor.” Shiro was smirking and Keith stalled, mid bite of his piece of apple.

“Santa _won’t_ come if the house isn’t decorated.”

“Weally?!”

“Shiro-”

“With a giant tree! And tinsel, and decorations! And music and movies and books about Christmas. There needs to be decorations _everywhere_ ,” Shiro threw his hands wide, extending over the room. “It helps create Christmas magic, so Santa _can_ see us!”

“You… son of a bitch.” Keith whispered underneath his breath.

Lotor was on him immediately, grabbing at Keith’s shirt at his chest and bunching it up in fear. This did little to ease the pain of Keith’s back.

“Papa! Papa! We need decorations. There is eleven days until Chwismas! We need decorations so Santa can find us!”

“Yeah, Keith. We need decorations so Santa can find us.”

Keith was shocked, staring at the two as they surrounded him intensely. He tried shuffling into the couch cushions, but to no adieu.

It was a useless tactic.

“ _P_ _leaaaaase!”_ Both Shiro and Lotor grinned.

Keith sighed, defeated and he munched on the rest of his apple.

“Fine.”

“Yay!”

“And we’re cutting down the Christmas tree first.” Shiro said happily. “It’s what me and my old boyfriend used to do during Christmas.”

Keith blinked. “Wasn’t Adam Jewish?” He called but was ignored in favour of Lotor’s merrily yelled “Yay!”

* * *

  
With the use of Kosmo, whose own should wound was slowly healing with a mass of bandages over the his fur, Shiro, Keith and Lotor bundled up into much warmer, northern necessary clothing. Grabbing his ax and already sweating, Keith held onto Kosmo.

“Take us to the North. Somewhere with forests and trees.”

Lotor had a picture, printed with the help of Shiro.

Keith blinked at it in question. “... What mountain line is that?”

“The Rockies.”

“Great.” Keith said dryly. “Kosmo, take us there, I guess.”

And surprisingly, Kosmo did. Dropping them into the middle of a serene, damp, and snow covered forest. Shiro held onto Keith as he almost fell onto his back.

The snow was deep, Lotor instantly sinking in while the wolf remained blissfully on top of the snowline. He laid himself back down with a noise, pulling Lotor out of the hole he had made.

How Kosmo could remain on top of everything, elegantly like a Tolkien elf, would always be of surprise to Keith.

“Wooaahh! It’s like Altea!!! But cold.” Lotor screamed.

“Yeah, this is snow!” Shiro exclaimed to the exuberant child. “We should have brought snowshoes.” He thought uselessly as he remained in his own well of a hole, hand still outstretched for Keith.

“Just avoid tree wells. Can’t let anyone get hurt.”

Keith pushed himself through the snow that was well above his knee, going towards the treeline.

“Why did we not just buy one?” He yelled back in question. But when he got no response, he turned, watching as Shiro and Lotor flopped on their backs, making horrible snow angels in the fluffy powder.

It was a sad attempt, but the two were laughing like it was their last day on Earth, Lotor flicking snow pieces at Shiro.

Together, lying on the ground, they tried to catch the snowflakes on their tongues.

Keith had to smile.

Maybe they’d come back one day, with a sled.

Keith had a feeling Lotor would like a sled.

He turned back around, continuing towards the trees, looking for the perfect Christmas tree as Shiro and Lotor continued to play around in the snow. His back may have been in pain, but it was more than worth to see Shiro and Lotor as honestly happy as they were.

Keith couldn’t break that up now when he spent the last few years wishing for just that peace.

* * *

  
Lotor’s face was red from the cold, white eyelashes looking as though they’d frozen over, but it was just a trick to the eye.

He was still laughing and happy as he cuddled up into Kosmo for warmth, the cosmic wolf laying his snowcovered, somehow unwet tail over the child like a blanket.

Keith came back, holding the trunk of a tree on his shoulder.

It was well over twice the size of Keith.

He just hoped he’d be able to make it fit into his living room.

“Woahhh!” Lotor screamed, looking at the tree his Papa was easily carrying.

Shiro looked away, abashed.

“Sorry, we were supposed to help.” He said timidly, offering Keith a hand to get back to Kosmo. “But when we turned you were just gone. And Kosmo seemed okay, so we thought maybe it was a bathroom break…”

Keith waved him off. “Nah, it felt nice, just chopping away at the trunk. Got some pent up anger out.”

Shiro winced.

“And you were playing with Lotor. You had fun, right, Buddy?”

“Yah!” Lotor called back.

“Then that’s all that matters.”

“And you didn’t aggravate your back?”

Keith shook his head, honest. “No, not this time… But we should get this home and get to the store for decorations before it closes.” Keith smiled.

“Sounds good to me.” Shiro agreed. He turned back around only to get a snowball directly in the face.

Lotor was hiding underneath Kosmo’s tail, holding another rounded ball.

“Snowball fight!” He proclaimed, throwing a clump of snow at Keith.

“Why you little!” Keith dropped the tree trunk, grabbing at the powder and just chucking it back at his laughing son, not even taking the care to properly form a ball.

Shiro joined Keith’s team as they hid behind the tree from Lotor’s assault, Kosmo getting into the game and trying to eat the tossed snow, and lash his tail against the powder, sniping waves to overthrow Keith and Shiro.

One impact was so hefty, they fell backwards when it hit them. They fell together, Shiro quickly catching Keith by his waist to ease the fall into the fluffy, cold ground.

They remained huffing, breath emitted like puffs of smoke as they laughed.

Lotor ran over, and jumped on Keith’s chest, and hugging him. He grabbed Shiro’s hand over his mitt, and held on.

Kosmo made his way over, surrounding them with his fur as he cuddled them.

They remained still and silent, watching is the snowflakes fell from above.

This is what the Holidays should feel like.

* * *

  
What the Holidays should not feel like, Keith thought after they got home, got warm and put up the tree, was the absolutely distress the town had become. It felt like every hour was rush hour, people bombarding the streets, shopping and loud.

Keith ran in and out of the Walmart as fast as he could. And with Lotor and Shiro with him, that still was an hour too long. Keith didn’t let Lotor out of his sight, especially after the news of Meidax being a scout had spread fast.

There had even been a line of protestors in the square, yelling out and throwing their signs. Luckily Keith and Lotor were bundled up enough that they slipped by unnoticed. Lotor had thought it was just a fun game at the time, pretending to be a spy and get through the doors of Walmart with as much stealth as possible.

Keith had made it fun. Into a game. His child had no idea and therefore no underlying trauma.

This was his life now.

“We need that!”

“What about throw pillows for the couch?”

“And bankets!”

“And mats!”

“No. No. No. Stuff for the tree, tinsel, lights, some decorations. We aren’t going overboard.”

“But Santa won’t find us!”

Keith glared at Shiro for placing that thought into Lotor’s head. “Yes, he will. We just need to bake cookies and put out milk the night before.”

“But-”

“We’re decorating. But not going overboard.” He stopped the cart, turning to Shiro with a forceful point. “We are not going overboard. Alright?”

Shiro put his hands up with a laugh. “Alright. Not going overboard.”

Keith noticed the little wink Shiro offered Lotor when Keith turned away.

“Shiroooo.” He whined pitifully, knowing he’d lost the battle and the war.

* * *

  
After Walmart and the dollar store, Keith was back home, tired and collapsed on the couch. Cutting the tree down was too much effort to do alone, he decided, feeling the stretch of his limbs. He had redone the bandages on his back and Kosmo’s too, feeling the stretch of the return scars as he fell against the couch.

Lotor and Shiro were decorating the tree together. They’d put up the lights and Keith ordered food online, too tired to cook that evening, now that the electricity was back up…

Keith wondered, briefly, if he should go see the Meidax. Gain some closure. Would it be of any help? Meidax had been cruel, left Keith with too many questions. And, according to Shiro, the Garrison hadn’t been able to destroy his blade or his armour. And Keith was left wondering, in concern, if that left them open and vulnerable for another attack by the Emperor.

Just what Keith would need.

Christmas music via a Youtube Playlist was on in the background, from the TV, while Lotor and Shiro danced around tree. There was no rhyme or reason for where they put the random decorations, Shiro twirling Lotor as the kid threw tinsel over a branch.

Keith watched, laying down and underneath a comforter as Shiro gathered Lotor in his arms, to reach the highest points of the beautiful fir tree, as he placed a cheap bulb into a random area.

“You have decorations at your place, too. Right Shiro?”

Shiro nodded, as he let Lotor back down to grab another Christmas bulb. “Yeah, we have a lot. Especially for outside.”

“Hmm. Well, maybe we could stop by your place. Pick them up and put them to good use. Since you were so keen on me buying half the store to decorate the house.”

“That…” Shiro blinked, like he hadn’t thought of that. “Yeah. Actually. We definitely should.” He smiled widely, Lotor running back and asking to be picked up again.

Keith had to smile, his heart clenching a little at the sight.

This wasn’t something he could have, he had to remember.

Shiro was still with Curtis.

Shiro loved Curtis.

Shiro had _chosen_ Curtis.

With a huff, Keith lifted himself from the couch, somewhat enjoying the grounding pain it brought. Keith set about changing the tables mats to the Christmas themed ones, and then placed tinsel and the Santa Mickey Mouse decorations on the mantles and countertops. He had to be careful of Kosmo, lying peacefully underneath the fire as he did so.

Poor thing was still overcoming his own battle wounds, though the vet said he’d fine in no time.

Keith was almost wondering if he was playing it up for more treats.

Cause it was working.

When the doorbell rang, Keith grabbed the pizzas and tipped the guy. He turned back around to see Lotor on top of Shiro’s shoulders, holding onto the angel, his eyes wide and in awe, like the angel was the most beautiful thing he’d ever saw. Long, flowing white hair in a blue gown, the angel almost looked similar to Allura.

Keith shook his head, hoping that Lance wouldn’t notice the resemblance next time he came over to ‘help Shiro’ with Keith duty.

The Christmas tree was almost much done, all the ornaments up and tinsel flowing over the branches like icicles.

Lotor held onto the angel like it was something precious, running his hands over the ceramic, poorly painted hair. He lifted his hands, and with Shiro’s help, they placed it on top of the tree, so carefully and precise. They moved back, looking over their work with pride.

Shiro raised his hand and Lotor clapped at it in congratulations.

It looked like a hazardous mess to Keith, but he kept his thoughts to himself.

Keith pulled the pieces of pizza apart, placing them on the plates and coming over to the living room, turning on a Christmas film instead.

“Alright, boys. Time for dinner.”

Keith fell back onto the couch as Lotor jumped up next to him, Shiro going to chair beside the two. Lotor cuddled in to Keith’s side as they watched the movie.

It was serene.

Nice.

… Keith had to remind himself he couldn’t have this.

His anger began to simmer.

* * *

  
Keith reminding himself he couldn’t have this was becoming a major difficulty. Whenever he turned around, Shiro was there, lending a helpful hand. Holding onto Lotor, playing with Lotor, cleaning the dishes, just being perfect, honest Shiro.

Shiro who was still obviously in distress and not all there and trying to hide it for Keith’s sake, as though Keith was the more important one.

It was making Keith so, so angry.

One night, after Keith had been on edge all day, making snide, unnecessary comments towards Shiro, he sent Shiro away during bedtime. Shiro had been waiting by Lotor’s door with a kind smile on his face, Keith instantly putting a stop to it.

Keith felt a little give in his chest when he noticed Shiro’s smile begin to fall, but tried to hold it up, pretend it hadn’t hurt as much as it did.

He knew Lotor was getting too attached, too used to this regime of Shiro and Keith both being there. But it wasn’t normal, and he had to remember that. This wouldn’t be a thing after the holidays, once Curtis returned and Keith’s healing wounds were gone.

“Papa, why isn’t Shiro here, too?” Lotor asked patiently, a little upset at Keith’s own simmering energy.

“Because, Lotor.” Keith sighed, running a tired hand over his eyes. “Shiro is a guest, staying at our house while I recover. He’s not going to be here forever.”

“But… what if I want him to?”

“Sorry, buddy. It doesn’t work like that.” Keith kissed him on the head, grabbing a book from the bedside table.

“So, the Cat who Came Back, or the Grinch?” Keith asked, holding them both up.

“The Cat who Came Back.” But the happiness had faded from Lotor as he tucked himself into the sheets. Keith began reading, both knowing the enthusiasm was out of his voice.

This was for the best.

* * *

  
It was approaching Christmas fast, and with Lotor out of school with his healed foot, Shiro out of his wrist support, and Keith ignoring his back pain, the trio and the cosmic wolf usually spent the time outside.

They headed back for the Rockies, spending the day sledding.

Keith was more on edge than ever.

“Be careful,” he yelled when Shiro was hit with a snowball.

“There might be ice in there.” He double checked the now packed down power, no longer soft and fluffy. Lotor pouted and rolled his eyes.

When Keith made the okay, Lotor packed up the ball, and threw it against Shiro’s stomach. Shiro pretended to be hurt, forfeiting from further play. The ice king was down, and the mighty prince had prevailed, he shouted like he just died, giving away his honour to the kid. There was a huge monologue and everything, Lotor giggling away above Shiro.

Keith rolled his eyes, arms crossed.

Lotor was too used to Shiro being around now, more than ever. For fun and games. For story time. When he woke up, Shiro was there. During bathtime, Shiro was there. During Lotor’s therapy appointment. When Lotor wanted to put on Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer over Frank Sinatra, again and again and again. When he didn’t like the food Keith made (like Shiro could do better).

Shiro was always there. And Lotor was beaming. And Keith was not.

Lotor ran and pounced on Shiro like a little cub, Shiro falling down and exaggerating the hit, pretending to die once again, after Lotor tapped his fingers together for more after Shiro’s last stoic ‘death’.

It reminded Keith of lions.

Of their lions.

Keith looked to the sky, unable to see anything due to the ceiling being too low along the mountains edges.

Keith sighed.

And when they brought out the sled?

Lotor preferred going with Shiro, had asked repeatedly to do so. Apparently his body weight made it more fun, the edge of the sled lifting up as the tumbled down the hill.

When it was Keith and Lotor, the sled always went to fast, flying over the hills, scaring the little boy. Keith always tried to slow it down with his foot or hand, but it was hard, holding onto the child as well.

He called for Shiro to take him up again.

“One more round, kay guys? It’s almost time to start making dinner.” Keith called from the bottom, ringing his hands together to warm them up under the mittens.

Lotor rolled his eyes, holding Shiro’s hand.

“Papa isn’t fun anymoe. Not since… Meidax.” Lotor spat the Galra’s name like it was venom. And Keith shuttered.

“He’s just being cautious. He’s worried for you.”

“But why?”

Keith turned away from the conversation.

Sure, maybe after Mediax he’d become a little overbearing, not allowing Lotor out of his sight. It’d been especially bad while shopping for decorations, not letting the little boy down to run around, feel the pillows and throws and everything Christmas.

But there were scouts now, being sent to this timeline.

And people protesting, spitting at cameras and the courts, letting this little hellion into their world, on their planet. Obviously, to them, it meant the end of the world as they knew it.

Again.

But how were the scouts coming through? Any rifts had been vanished alongside Allura.

Did they have power, like Kosmo’s? Because even his Zarkon and Honerva didn’t have that…

With all the distress of the people on Earth, Keith was worried, and he had a right to be concerned.

Add Shiro to the mix, dampening his relationship with his son while their own history hung around their fingers like a red chain, tugging them together painfully, Keith was left wrung out.

How was he supposed to deal with all this?

And from the sounds of Shiro’s nightmares at night, waking up and calling out for Allura, for Keith, always with cries of apologies....

Keith knew Shiro was thinking of certain, unsaid, things.

So why wasn’t he saying anything?

Why wouldn’t Shiro admit his struggles.

Why couldn’t he?

* * *

  
The first actual fight happened before dinner. Shiro was helping Keith chop up vegetables while the other put them into the soup to boil together.

“You don’t have to help with dinner, you know. You can just go play with Lotor.” Keith said, voice cracking. His entire body felt tense, sizzling.

“That’s okay,” Shiro tried, voice low. He could always see straight through Keith, knowing the inner depths of his soul. Keith didn’t even have to say anything,

Still, years later, it was the same.

And Keith couldn’t even get Shiro to talk.

“I wanted to help.”

“Yeah? Well no one asked you for your help.”

“ _Oh_ …”

“Shiro,”

Shiro looked distraught. Like he fucked it up. And no. It wasn’t. It wasn’t Shiro’s fault. Fuck-

But why couldn’t he see that? Everything was a personal attack, and Shiro never stood up for himself. He never defended himself, just like Keith never used to stand up for himself.

It drove Keith insane.

It was like they switched places.

“I’m sorry if I’m cutting them wrong. I just, I watched videos on youtube before, thought I’d get it right. Apparently can’t even do that.” He choked out a sad laugh. “So, just gonna,” he motioned to Lotor, who was singing a song to his blankie.

“Yeah.” Keith glared. “Go do that.” He grabbed the chopped vegetables and threw them in the pot, stirring. God, Keith knew he was acting like a child.

A child that was trapped in a hole and couldn’t breathe, with a severe pressure and beating against his chest.

This was torture.

Especially knowing he put that look on Shiro’s face.

Shiro smiled sadly, moving away from the kitchen after drying his hands, keeping a good distance from Keith.

No hand on his shoulder, no murmured, all knowing words were given.

It was like Shiro wasn’t even Shiro, anymore.

What the fuck happened.

* * *

  
It was four days before Christmas when Keith, with his ever increasing anger and anxiety, decided it was time to visit the lying beast. His instincts were flaming, his hairs rising. Too many things were happening and being repressed at the same time, and he needed something to calm him down. So he needed to go to the Garrison. Now!

He had too many questions that needed to be answered, and with his own mind going off the railings, Keith needed _something_ to work out. So maybe he was going out searching for that loss, fine, whatever, but his mind was made up. And the little voice in his mind wouldn’t stop shouting at him to stop wasting time. He needed to get there. Today.

Keith was going to see Meidax.  
  
“Are you sure that’s a good idea Keith?” Shiro asked, coming out of Lotor’s room having just helped the child decide on an outfit for the day.  
  
Keith shrugged his shoulders and moved past Shiro, making way to start downstairs.  
  
He was going to, until Shiro stopped him with a hand around his bicep.  
  
“I don’t know if this is the best time-”  
  
Heat stretched over his body, Shiro’s eyes widening noticing the yellow bleeding into Keith’s sclera. “What would you know?”

Breathing deeply, Shiro kept his hand on Keith, but there was a shift between them. Shiro kept the space far between them. Voice low, he said “I know you’re angry, over everything. I know you’re looking for something to take that anger out on. I know, that what I’m seeing right now is that same kid I saw at the Garrison all those years ago, scared, and thinking he’s all alone.”

Keith felt the fangs recede. “And what do you suppose I do instead, Shiro?” The underlying anger remained in his voice.

Shiro lifted his hand and Keith felt tense everywhere. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, now trembling.

His own eyes shifted to the floor.

“I feel like- I have to know, I have questions, and I just- I need-”  
  
“I understand, Keith.” Shiro said, calming. “I’ll phone Lance to look over Lotor and then we’ll head out.”  
  
“We?”  
  
“You’re not alone anymore, Keith.” And Shiro moved past him, going downstairs to grab his phone on the counter, just beside his own plates that still hadn’t been cleaned up from breakfast.

Keith remained in the hall, feeling too much and too little all at the same time. Emotions were in a frenzy, and Keith felt shifty.

He heard Shiro’s voice talking to Lance. The group had plans, Christmas plans later that evening anyways, it wouldn’t hurt for Lance to be here earlier. He loved decorating, so it’d give the man something to do in the meantime.

Keith sighed, finally moving away and into the bedroom.

He laid down, holding his arms around himself, waiting for Lance to finally arrive.

The scenarios of visiting Meidax, of confronting Shiro, of his worst fears involving Zarkon coming back didn’t stop running rampant in his mind.

* * *

  
They made it to the Garrison an hour later, Shiro smiling and waving and talking casually to so many people, his hand never wavering from around Keith to keep him steady, in line with the direction they needed to go. Keith had a single goal, and no amount of hand shaking was going to stop that. Not even their old colleagues, waving them down, asking inane questions:  
  
‘ _Shiro! How’s the novel?’_  
  
_‘How’s Curtis? When will he be back, we’d love to have you over again for-”_  
_  
‘I just finished your essay, The Balance of Favours, and I just had a question-_ ”

Luckily Shiro understood, and set the formalities aside in the perfect way; no one felt they were rude with their self induced hurry, with Keith’s rush and ignoring people’s day to day questions.  
  
James Griffin stood at the front of the quarantine where Meidax, hands behind his back, posture straight like a perfect little soldier.  
  
“Shirogane,” Griffin nodded to his old superiour, eyes glancing towards the long raven haired man. Keith caught the moment they changed to concern. “Keith, he’s been waiting.”  
  
Keith nodded, moving towards the door.  
  
Shiro made to follow.  
  
“I’m sorry, Shirogane. Only one in at a time. Iverson and Holts’ orders.” Griffin explained.

Keith continued, leaving the two at the door as the metal unlocked, and the three sets of doors began to open.  
  
He could hear Shiro’s disagreement from behind. “I understand it’s Iverson’s command, but he’s not well, it’s obvious. H-he shouldn’t be in there alone, I-”  
  
“There is an observatory above, Shirogane. That’s where we’ve been moderating him.”  
  
“And Keith?”

“May go into the room with Meidax if he likes. But only one person allowed in at a time. I’m sorry Captain.”

Shiro winced, glancing at the rigid back of Keith.  
  
“Will you be alright with that, Keith? I’ll be above, watching and in communication. If you need me.”  
  
Keith didn’t respond. Instead the doors were fully opened, and Keith made his way down the hall, ignoring Shiro’s and Griffin’s attempts to contact him.

It was just like the trials. Shiro watching as Keith laid his heart on the line.  
  
When Keith entered the small area of the cell, he felt the room shift in temperature, a chill going down his spine.  
  
It was dark, with no actual real light. Being the cat he was, Keith knew Meidax must be having a tough time adapting.

And, thinking of the devil, there he was. Meidax sat against the far wall on a long bench, head bent towards the door, looking like he was waiting. His arms and legs were in chained in tough Altean cuffs.  
  
Between him and Keith was three layers on glass paneling.  
  
He was completely trapped with no means of escape. He seemed accepting of it. Giddy, almost. The crazed look in his eye had yet to pass.  
  
“Ahhh, there he is,” his voice sounded raw from days of unuse, Keith remembering he’d gone mute after he admitted to wanting to finish his job. “You’ve finally arrived, Keith.”

Keith heard the doorway at the end of the tunnel close. Keith shifted on his feet, now completely unable to speak.  
  
Meidax looked like he had yet to bathe, and had been in more fights since arriving at the Garrison. Probably true.  
  
“It took you long enough. How long has it been? A week? Two?”  
  
Keith came forward, standing impervious, right in front of the glass.  
  
“You tried to kill me.”  
  
“A failed attempt was made, yes.” Meidax smiled. “I’m afraid I’ll have to admit that mistake was entirely on me. I got my dick wet. Couldn’t help but want it a little more before my demise.”  
  
Keith clicked his tongue. “Demise?”  
  
Had Meidax known he were to die here?  
  
Meidax only smiled, head falling back against the wall.  
  
Keith breathed loudly, could hear a change in the intercom system, could hear Shiro above, watching.  
  
Meidax’s ears twitched.  
  
“I see you brought your lover.”

“He isn’t my lover.”  
  
“Isn’t he? I am quite certain it was his name you were calling when I had you beneath me, legs spread wide in the air.”  
  
Keith felt himself flush. He wasn’t about to let this slander continue, in front of highly superior Garrison authority, no less.  
  
“You tried to kidnap my son.”

Meidax jumped up then, at Keith’s words. His fangs were hanging over his lips, sneering at Keith in the hope of bloodlust.  
  
“That child is not your son, Paladin. Never has. Never will be.”  
  
“He is my son. He was abandoned and hurt and going to die from dehydration and injuries. I saved him, and he has come to trust me and see me as his Father.”

“He is not your son. There is no blood ties between you.” Meidax shifted forward, metal links scraping against the ground as he did so.

“Biology has nothing to do with family bonds. He is my son, and if you dare try to hurt my family _again_ , you will not live to see another day.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure.”

Keith’s eyes widened then, fearing for the worst. “What are you saying.”

Almost as though from a lack of energy, Meidax’s head fell forward, hair draping over his shoulders as his body shook, trembling from his minor snickering.

“There is a reason I have remained on Earth, secured to your area for so long.”  
  
Keith closed his eyes, feeling a headache coming from Meidax’s stupid back and forth. “You wanted to make contact with your reality, the landlines were interfering, your ship wasn’t ready, I know-”  
  
“Oh, Keith Kogane. So naive. So simple. So _stupid_. Your landlines weren’t just interrupting my own satellite. It was interrupting theirs.”

Keith remained silent, watching as Meidax steadily grew closer to the glass wall.

Keith could hear commotion on the intercoms, could hear Shiro directing orders, in case this all went south.

 _'But Keith is unarmed,’_  
  
“I had to cut the landlines, Keith. Your signals were too strong, so close to the Garrison. Or else my Emperor and Empress would never zero in on this timeline. On me. On their son.” Meidax shrugged. “Isolating you from everyone you loved was just a beneficial factor.”  
  
Keith stepped back as Meidax lifted a chained claw to the glass, slamming at it for emphasis. It looked like every movement was painful. It took Meidax a great feat of strength and breath to push out his words.  
  
"The day I received the signal, I knew they had it. I knew they had enough quintessence to open the rift momentarily once again, for me and their son only. So many others have died, but I _made it_! And now? After all this time? They had enough energy, and I knew they found my coordinates. However, I, unfortunately, missed the rendez vous point, no thanks to you.”  
  
“You’re only trying to scare me. Manipulate me into an unrealistic place of fear. It’s a useless tactic, Meidax. Why try?”  
  
“Why try? Because.” Meidax threw a fist into the glass, cracking it through the first layer.  
  
Keith didn’t move back, but could hear the men above begin to stir.  
  
“I remained alive to send a message from Emperor Zarkon and Empress Haggar.”  
  
He slammed his claw into the glass, the two layers cracking in rippled effects.  
  
Keith, far behind could hear Shiro begin to yell.  
  
“ _Close the connections, now!”_  
  
“For you specifically, Keith Kogane, Black Paladin of Old.”  
  
_"Shut him up!"_  
  
“For as long as the Empress Haggar and Emperor Zarkon live, they’ll come. When they have the right amount of quintessence, they’ll break through your measly bandage of a rift, and they’ll arrive.”  
  
Meidax through a last clawed fist through the last panel, shattering the glass completely. There was no longer a wall between them, and Keith felt the air escape his lungs.  
  
“ _Keith, get out of there! He’s-!”_  
  
Shiro’s voice sounded so far away now, sounded like he was panting, like he was running.  
  
Keith moved back, could hear the doors behind begin to whir open from the far layer of the tunnel.  
  
“They’ll take your planets and kill your people,”  
  
Meidax stopped due to the chains, just a few feet from Keith. He couldn’t go farther. He didn't seem to be too hard done by this impediment.   
  
“Everyone you know and love will die, Keith Kogane, because you stole their son. And they need him back, the true heir of the throne.”  
  
“Keith! Get away-”  
  
Meidax tore only one of his clawed hands from the Altean binding. He didn’t seem interested in removing the others. He stared at his split wrist, blood curling outwards and down his lilac skin from the broken pieces of metal.  
  
He continued to speak with that daunting, crude smile of his. He lifted his claw, the nails lengthening.

“Emperor Zarkon and Empress Haggar are expecting to see you soon.”  
  
“Meidax-”  
  
“Vrepit Sa.”  
  
Keith felt himself be grabbed and turned away, pulled against Shiro’s chest, head hidden, but it wasn’t quick enough to avoid seeing it.

Meidax lifted the unchained claw and ripped his own throat, blood spurting and splaying against the broken pieces of glass as he fell heavy against the floor.

Dead.

* * *

  
The Paladins came over that evening, no longer for their planned event of gift exchange but now instead to discuss if Meidax’s words were true. It really didn't matter if they were true or false, they needed to form a plan anyways, just in case.  
  
Pidge had received the transcript from her father of what Meidax had said. They sat around the table late into the evening, Lotor already put into bed.  
  
Keith sat on the couch, eyes drawn to the fire. He’d been motionless for the better half of the day.  
  
They wanted his son.  
  
“My Dad has been trying to get a report on previous signals made from and around the Garrison since Meidax had arrived on Earth, but they haven’t picked up anything unusual. If Meidax has been in communication with his realm, then it’s an entirely different frequency than what we’re familiar with. And if that’s the case, the signals won’t ever be picked up.” She scratched her head, reading over the transcripts and making notes in red ink.

Lance sat opposite of Keith, keeping an eye out for a change of pupil direction or finger twitch. He rolled his eyes. “Listen, guys, the idiot is a master manipulator! He had Keith hooked around his fingers. _Keith_ for crying out loud! He enjoyed watching chaos that he made, stirring the pot so to speak, he enjoyed hurting others for the fun of it. Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, this is another stir up? Just get everyone anxious and scared? The people are already sending death threats to my Mother’s school for taking in Lotor, have been protesting on Tv! I’m sure he knows this. He’s just trying to create more anger and fear and prejudice! And it’s working.”  
  
Pidge seemed to consider it for a brief moment. “Except that the files from the Garrison are all privileged documentation, and are not intended to be shared with public for their own discretion, exactly for that reason. This isn’t a chaos creating scenario on a public scale, so I don’t think that’s what he was intending.”  
  
Hunk spoke up beside Pidge, reading the transcripts over her shoulder. “Maybe he just wanted to get another hand above Keith, hold just something else over him because he could.”  
  
Shiro stared at the fire. “If Meidax was telling the truth, we have to consider our defences on Earth. We’ve lost the lions. Atlas is…” he couldn’t bring himself to say the words, staring at the new arm as he curled his fingers. “We aren’t ready to fight another war.”

“Luckily, Meidax said that once they have gathered enough quintessence they’ll be here. That could be years.”  
  
“Or it could be days.”  
  
“Honestly, I don’t think so. Meidax came alone as a scout. He admitted he wasn’t the first attempt, and that past ones had failed. If Zarkon and Haggar come, they’ll want to bring their ship, their army, have back up against us and for themselves as a defence. If they’re having troubles sending a single scout every few weeks or more at a time with a tiny ship, then they don’t have the resources to send themselves yet.”  
  
“So Meidax was a guinea pig?”  
  
“Not the first, but so far the only successful one.”

Hunk shifted in his seat. “He gave away our reality location, though. They know where to come now.”  
  
“So? They still don't have the power come through the rift, which, speaking of-” Pidge turned to Keith, already knowing her questions would be left unanswered. “Did he say anything to you? About where the rift is?”  
  
“It’s different than our rift, a different breaking point, that’s for sure.” Shiro sighed.

Keith bit his lip, shaking his head.  
  
“So nothing? At all?” She pressed.

He shook his head again. “Nothing.” Keith spoke. “He just killed himself, taking everything with him.”

And Lance was right, he could be lying. Keith prayed to god he was lying, but they had to treat this like a real, honest threat.

Lance looked down in his seat. “It’s the Galran way.”

Keith gulped, opening his mouth and closing it.

The bastard. The asshole, cowardice bastard! How dare he- he dare he-  
  
“Papa?” A tiny voice called from the top of the stairway, holding onto a veiled blue blankie and fluffy rabbit.  
  
“Papa, I can’t sleep.”  
  
Keith watched as Shiro made way to get up, but Keith stopped him. “I’ll get it, Shiro, don’t worry.” There was little left in his tired voice.

As he made his way to leave, Pidge called for him, eyes determined, which was a stark contrast to the concern etched over the rigid bodies within the rest of the room. “If it helps, Keith. There’s time still, I’m positive. We’ll send the Garrison looking into sudden bursts of energy, we’ll search for the rift, It has to be close to here or Alkya. We’ll figure out a way to keep it shut. Nothing will happen, Keith. I promise you.”  
  
“At least not anytime soon.” Shiro said, too. “Looking at the reports from the Garrison and the Olkari and the Blade, I think Pidge is right. We have time. They don’t have the resources. So, relax, okay? We can do this.”  
  
Sadly, asking someone to calm down usually had the complete opposite effect.

* * *

Keith was literally and figuratively beginning to crack.  
  
He hadn't been able to sleep the night before due to nightmares of seeing Meidax's dead, bleeding face, or yellow eyes and long claws reaching for his screaming son, begging for his Papa to save him. Keith had remained frozen with the thoughts.

He couldn't sleep, and his back was hurting. He ignored it. Repressed it.

The Paladins had made their rounds that next evening instead. They had worked most of the day with the Garrison and the Olkari, sending their own troops looking to research about a possible new rift to other realms. A small tear that Allura and Haggar either didn’t complete, or that had occurred after their sacrifices.  
  
They sent a message to the Blade, and had yet to receive a word back.  
  
So, doing as much as they could and setting up emergency lines for Keith and everyone else in case of a sudden apocalypse or kidnapping, they decided to take it easier for the night, so close to Christmas.  
  
There wasn’t much they could do now but wait.  
  
Honestly, perfect timing for Keith. The group arrived late in the hectic evening with Romelle and Coran. They ate, had drinks and ate warm, good food. They tried to laugh and tell stories, but there was an unease to the evening, like the could sense Keith’s impending breakdown. There was just too much going on inside his head. And so they dropped off the gifts for Lotor, as the adults decided long ago to no longer do gifts for each other, before leaving with strong hugs.

They placed the gifts underneath the tree, Keith’s own name catching his eye on a tag while he watched the scene in a tattered silence.

He didn’t ask.

Must have been a mix up.

But after departing, knowing they wouldn’t see each other until the New Year if all went well, which Pidge was assured it was going to, Lotor began making a fuss.

He wanted to go to the mountains. He saw people skiing and snowboarding on TV at night. He talked about it with Lance the other day when Papa and Shiro had gone out for the afternoon, before Papa came back sad. Lance had been before with his family, skiing at night, and said it was a lot of fun. And it looked like it, when Lotor replayed the commercial. It looked like so much fun! With all the lights? And the people?! Why couldn’t they do that?

Keith was getting frustrated and Shiro was trying to calm the anger of both the part Galras in the room.

“No. It’s unsafe. There are wild animals out at night, Lotor.”

And scouts, probably, people who might be following them. Wanting to hurt them. Keith’s instincts were rising, and the hairs on the back of his neck kept standing straight. They were watching now. Close to Earth, maybe. Who knew? Keith was growing irrational.

“But it could be fun! Swedding, with the staws, and the moon!”

“The moon isn’t even out tonight, Lotor. The full moon was a few days ago.”

“Well, maybe we could go to a ski hill, after Christmas, and try night skiing with the group.” Shiro tried to intervene. Kept trying to fucking intervene.

“We don’t need your input.” Keith snapped. “I’m his Papa, not you! You can get out.” He yelled.

Lotor didn’t seem to like that, smacking his fists against Keith’s hip as he stood between Keith and Shiro. “No, I want Shiro to stay!!! You can go!!!”

“Excuse me?!”

“You being mean! To Shiro and me! You can go. Shiro can stay!!”

Keith’s eyes turned to slits, could feel his fangs coming out.

How dare the little brat fucking say that. Did Lotor not realize how good he had it? What Keith was keeping him safe from? It wasn’t until long after that he realized Lotor meant just for that moment, for Keith to go run and hit some stuff to cool off and come back.

But Keith was seething.

“Keith, maybe you should go take a walk. Come back when you have a clear mind. You have the emergency scanner on you. And you’ve had a lot of worries, and it’s the Holidays. It’s only fair you feel-”

“You don’t get to decide how I feel, Shiro. Especially now! Not after all that shit with Meidax! With all that shit with you!”  
  
Shiro moved backwards. “With me?” He questioned honestly, as if he didn’t know.  
  
Keith growled. “After everything that’s happened, _you_ don’t get to waltz happily back into my life, pretending like everything is magically okay. Because guess what, it’s not! But you’re just going to continue on, pretending like nothing has happened, that little Keith will continue to be fine alone once you leave. Again. Back to your fucking husband. You don’t get to dictate this, Shiro.”

Keith swerved back to Lotor, his hair falling out of its bun, becoming loose.

“We are not going sledding at night. And that’s my final answer.”

Lotor’s lips began trembling as water filled his eyes.

“Yeah, well I bet Shiro would take me!” He screamed.

“Yeah well tough luck, kid, Shiro isn’t your Father! I am and what I say goes!” Keith screamed back.

Lotor jumped towards the couch then, stomping his feet on the ground. He grabbed a pillow, smashing it against the table in his anger.

Keith grabbed the pillow out of his hands, throwing it back against the couch. He pointed a finger at Lotor, yelling, “you can go to your room if this is how you’re going to behave!”

“No!”

“Yes! You will go upstairs, and think about this entire conversation. Little boys don’t get everything they want just because they asked for it!”

“I just want you to be nice to me and Shiro!”

“I am being nice by keeping you alive!”

“No you’re not!”

“Go to your room, now! Or else Santa won’t be making a goddamn appearance.”

Keith was livid. In his anger he began picking up the decorations from the mantle, tossing them into a box he still had yet to put away.

“What are you doing?!” Shiro asked.

Lotor was crying now, clearly upset. He didn’t understand why his Papa was acting this way. He stayed in his spot, reaching out with small hands, as if they’d magically stop his Papa from taking everything down. “No! No! I’ve been good. All year, I pwomise!!”

“Yeah, well you’re being a little-” he stopped himself from saying ‘shit’, like his old foster parents used to love calling him. Keith never had a happy Christmas after his own Pop passed. It seemed unfair over all.

‘Tough love’ the foster parents of the month always called it. It made Keith scoff.

Keith’s back stilled as he went deathly still. He was mad. Seething. He’d been forced to go so many Christmases alone. He’d been forced through this exact same scenario. And look at Keith now, he was a completely fine human being. Totally okay. Tough loved worked, right? Being left alone for mornings on end? Unloved and uncared for?

Keith was completely fine.

The kid still needed to know it wasn’t okay to say those things to Keith, though. “Either go to your room, or else Christmas won’t be happening.”

Lotor was balling as he ran out of the living room, Shiro left in the midst. He stood on the top of the stairway, screaming back.

“I hate you! I wish Shiro was my Papa!”

Keith was struck, eyes widened. He couldn’t even yell back before Lotor rushed up the rest of the stairway, slamming his bedroom door shut.

Keith slammed the decoration into the box, screaming into a pillow.

Fuck. Fuck! _Fuck!_

“You went too far, Keith.” Shiro tried, walking towards the stairs.

“Don’t. Go to him, I mean.” Keith said, almost crying his frustration into the pillow. “Let him cry it out. Christmas is obviously not cancelled.”

“Keith…” When he saw Keith’s dilated, red rimmed eyes, Shiro backed off. “Fine. I’ll just be in my room.”

Alone with Christmas music still playing in the background, Keith began to cry,

He was trying his best.

But fuck. The only thing he was the best at was fucking everything up.

* * *

  
A few hours had passed, and Keith warmed up frozen pizza. He brought one to Shiro’s room with a side salad, laying it at the door. He couldn’t hear any typing, so Keith presumed Shiro was asleep. He knocked on the door, and slipped a little note underneath anyways, letting him know of the sadly prepared dinner.

He then went to Lotor’s room, knocking on the door and opening it slowly.

Lotor was on the bed, but the moment he saw Keith, the kid pouted with a sad sniff, and turned his back to him.

Keith felt his shoulders drop.

“Hey, Buddy. I- have pizza. It’s your favourite.”

Lotor didn’t answer. So Keith entered the room, closing the door behind him carefully.

He placed the pizza on the bedside table, and sat down beside Lotor on the mattress.

“Listen, Lotor. I need to apologize. Say I’m sorry.”

Lotor nodded then, but still kept up the silent treatment.

“I just- the Holidays. They’re a hard time for me. Lots of bad memories. And It’s been hard, since Meidax.... And with having Shiro around, it’s been a lot for me to handle. And I’m sorry.”

“But I like Shiro…” Lotor whispered sadly, holding onto his blankie tightly.

“I do too, Buddy. More than you know. And it hurts, sometimes. Because it feels nice, having someone around, caring for you.”

“Like you care for me?”

“Like that, yeah.”

“Shiro said you were lonely…”

“...Did he?”

Lotor nodded. “It’s why… why I didn’t speak up. About the otha guy. I really, really hated him.” Lotor shuffled further into the bed, shivering.

“I hate him.” He whispered, scorn and sourness embedded in his words. Keith’s eyes sank sympathetically.

“Yeah, he wasn’t a good guy... In the end. But, okay.” Keith took a giant breath. “I know. I know I haven’t been fun lately.”

Lotor snorted.

“And I know I’ve been overbearing. But-”

How much could Keith say?

“There’s… people. On Earth and-” should he tell him? That there were others? No. Keep it simple for now. But before Keith continued, he was briskly interrupted by a small voice. “They’re mad that you adopted me.” Lotor sighed loudly. “I know… I’ve seen you watching the news.”

Keith rose an eyebrow. “Lotor, that’s way past your bedtime.”

“I sneak down sometimes...” He admitted with guilt. But he finally turned to Keith, big violet eyes staring up at him. “Is that why you’ve been acting weird, Papa?”

Not entirely the reason, but telling Lotor, a few days before Christmas that his Biological Parents were actively searching for him, and sending threats in the form of Galra soldiers to capture them… Well..

“Yeah, partly. But they’re just scared people, who’ve lost so much already. And now they’re blaming us.”

“Because you kept me?”

“Always and forever.” Keith promised. “I’ve been worried that they’d try and hurt you, or me. You just never know…. And  I know I’ve been intense, but it’s just because Papa is really scared. Because Papa loves you, and I don’t ever want to see you hurt again.”

Lotor stayed still.

“Would they hurt me? Or you?”

Keith didn’t know. His gaping mouth let Lotor know as much. “I hope not. But in the face of fear, people will do anything because they’re irrational. You just never know.”

“So, you’ve been mean, because you’re scawed?”

Keith jutted his head a little. “Y-yeah.. I guess. It’s not.. It’s not a good method. But lashing out is what I do when I’m scared. And I’m sorry, Lotor. I’m so sorry. I never meant it, Christmas is of course still on, Santa will still come. I’m so sorry, I just-”

“Was scawed.”

Keith laughed a little, running his hands through his hair. “Yeah. I guess so. I’m scared, Lotor. Really, really scared.”

Lotor shifted upwards, moving to sit on Keith’s lap.

“When I get scawed, I come to you.”

Keith placed his arms around the child. The kid reached for his hair, beginning to make loose braids through the disheveled strands.

“But you don’t have anyone to go to.”

Keith stilled then, looking down at his lap.

“Is that why you day-ted Meidax? To have someone to go to, too?” Lotor didn’t stop braiding when he looked towards Keith. “Is it?”

Again, Keith nodded his head a little. “Yeah. I guess that’s the reason.”

“I get it now.” Lotor whispered.

“Hmm?”

“When eva-wy-one said you were wonely. I get it now.” Lotor hummed.

And Keith held on tighter.

The kid was too smart for his own good. Keith reached for the pizza, the two talking and reading a book as they ate together, voices soft in case Shiro was asleep.

Now with Lotor happy and humming and stomach full of pizza, the prior crisis was averted.  
  
Anything to do with the rift was a waiting game at this point, Keith knew Pidge was right on that end, and he had the resources in case on an emergency.

So, mind deciding to just tackle everything at once, Keith turned to the Next Big Thing on Keith’s overflowing mind: talking to Shiro, which just made Keith’s veins pulse. In fear or displeasure, he wasn’t sure.

He had to calm himself down, reasonably think about why Shiro was behaving the way he was.

It just wasn’t Shiro.

And Keith needed to know why.

Screw waiting.

Keith was going straight in, and for once on a completely emotional level. Balls to the wall and screaming if he had to.

He needed to get Shiro to talk.

But would Shiro actually talk if he was forced?

Given how the past six years had gone, and given Shiro’s entire prior life history, facts told Keith he wouldn’t.

Wouldn’t mean Keith wasn’t going to try though.

* * *

  
Later that night, when Keith passed out, watching a movie, Shiro came tiptoeing down the stairs. Silent as a mouse. He knew all the creaks of the floorboards, and avoided them swiftly.

Keith was tossing and turning and groaning through he drugged back pain.

And Shiro wished he could ask, wish he could do what he used to. Talk to Keith.

But he no longer held that right.

He shuffled behind the Christmas tree, tucking an overflowing envelope in the back, hidden perfectly between the stuffed branches.

With a sigh and a sad look at the man who saved him, so, so many times, more times than Shiro ever deserved or could every repay, Shiro left the living room and went back up to his bed.

He didn’t notice the envelope fall, flying underneath the Christmas mat of the tree.

* * *

  
It was horrible to admit, but it was the night before Christmas Eve and all through the house, shit was a stormin’.

It had all become a literal shitstorm.

It was bad.

Keith was at peak anger. He still hadn't slept. His back was in so much pain. Lotor was angry at him again, this time about something small that Keith was able to diffuse quickly, and Shiro, fucking _Shiro_ , was driving Keith up the wall. Pleasant phrases and kind words that once held meaning had become such artificial bullshit, it was driving Keith insane.

They stood in the middle of the hallway after Keith left in the middle of dinner, not being able to handle anymore. Anymore of Shiro’s ‘kindness’, any more of this pretending that everything was ‘okay’, they were so far from okay, and why couldn’t anyone see that but Keith?

Why did everyone want to pretend everything was fine when they weren’t!? Why couldn’t they just talk about the truth like Keith so desperately needed to?!

Why was it always Keith who just had to be the bearer of bad news, break the chain of events and just finally, let it go, speak, talk, yell.

Blame.

Everything that was happening now.

“Keith, c’mon. Please calm down.”

“Shut up!”

“What is this about?!”

 _"You.”_ Keith yelled, a pointer finger digging into Shiro’s chest. Shiro, kind enough man, had run after Keith in his frazzle to dash off. He stormed up the stairs, kindly talking him down.

Or was attempting to.

Shiro remained still, pointer finger still embedded in his chest.

“Lotor-” He tried to say lowly, but it was the wrong thing to bring up. It only made Keith more angry.

And Keith broke. And when Keith broke, it was exactly that one time in dead space, when he went mad, crazy. He attacked at the person’s weakest points, where he knew it would hurt them, for a long time.

And right now that was all directed at Shiro, wanting Shiro to run, see that Keith wasn’t worth it. Wasn’t worth staying around for.

Keith needed Shiro to leave, and the best way to do that? Make Shiro be the first to leave. It’s what Keith was best at. Force others to leave so Keith wouldn’t have to be the one to make the call.

“ _You-”_ Keith spat viciously, “couldn’t handle the idea of having nothing to do. There was no war, so who needed Atlas! Allura’s dead so how dare you even try to use her stone to power Atlas, am I right? Just a disgrace to her memory? Humans were making an uproar about its use, so may as well stow her away forever, right?! Keep everyone happy and _calm._ ”

Shiro backed up, eyes wide. Keith watched as Shiro’s outstretched, concerned hand twitched, going into a fist against his own chest.

“You’d completed your dreams and your long term ex died because of it. You don't think we noticed? Shiro? How Curtis looks? Dresses? Speaks? ACTS?! He’s Adam 2.O and the ‘love’ you feel for him is nothing if not survivor's guilt. You put pressure on yourself to rectify wrongdoings in your past so you would be able to sleep at night, instead of properly mourning. And in doing so? You pushed us all away. You pushed ME away, and swept away any little thing that actually could have been helpful to your damned mental health. But no. You’re a soldier. You carry on in the line of duty and keep it all to yourself right?” Keith was livid, hissing, spit flying. He couldn’t stop what he had started. He didn’t want to. He needed to get everything off his chest.

Shiro remained silent, staring sullenly towards the floor, taking whatever brunt of Keith’s anger he could. What else was he to do?

It’s not like Keith was lying, just finally calling him out on his past bullshit.

But Keith wasn’t entirely right. Shiro had liked that Curtis wasn’t Keith, he wasn’t apart of the space expedition. Curtis was a clean slate, something Shiro could mold himself into being someone new. Someone who didn’t have that past trauma. He could pretend like life was good and filled with puppies and kittens and rainbows, and not death and destruction and waking up in a cold sweat and screaming in pain, watching yourself be forced to kill someone innocent, kind, you didn’t want to, watching as they took your _arm-_

It didn’t work. It was a sad excuse of trying to get past the memories. But, it was the main reason, Shiro learned long after the marriage, after accepting his own long term denial when the nightmares never left him alone at night.  
  
Curtis knew this.

Now.  
  
Had resigned himself to never being able to change Shiro, help a man who didn’t want to be helped.

Keith, however, felt very little in the rise of sympathy and couldn’t help but continue. “We were there for you, and you remained emotionally closed off after everything with the Black Lion. The clone? We’ve never discussed it. I gave you time at first, because that's what I thought you needed. Rest. You needed rest over anyone, after the gladiators, after fighting, after the constant fighting!” Keith wracked in a harsh breath, hands flying and digging into his hair.

“I had faith that’d you come and talk to me when you were ready, because you needed to talk to someone, Shiro. I selfishly _believed,_ every fucking day, that you’d actually come to me, that you just needed _time_ ! But now?! It’s like you’ve been trying to singe your own bared guilt you felt towards me! This house?! Lotor?! Everything in between?! It’s like you’ve been trying to right all your wrongs you’ve made! Like how you acted when you thought you were going to die from your illness, needing to prove to everyone that you _could_ do it, that you could be something! Because fuck what everyone else believed!” Keith was furious now. Yelling so loudly. He should be quiet. There's a kid just down the stairs. But you can’t just stop a volcano from exploding when it’s already beginning and-

Keith slammed his fist into the wall and Shiro jumped backwards. “What went wrong, Shiro? What the _FUCK_ happened between us?!”

“Papa?”

Keith was seething, long hair raining over his eyes. He could feel the fangs, could hear the claws closing back towards his skin. The eyes, he knew, would take longer to return to his normal sclera.

Shiro was looking back and forth, between the confused child and enraged man before him, shaking, trying to calm himself down after all was said and done.

Shiro stepped forward, placing a hand on Keith’s trembling shoulder. “Go for a run. We’ll talk later.” He promised quietly.

The older man turned toward Lotor, gently scooping him up and took him into room without another word.

Keith remained in the silence of the hall, fuming.

Maybe he needed that run after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the first things I wrote, I really needed to understand the reasons why Shiro may have left Keith's/vlds side, and the repercussions of it, besides bad writing. Their relationship was destroyed and is only now being mended, but things need to be said, so glad we're finally at this point! Also if it isn't obvious, I wrote this during Christmas xD  
> also cause i know ill get some comments on this: Keith has a lot of built up tension, pain, anger, repressed memories, confusion, and other emotions hes not dealing with so hes a dick here but hopefully it makes sense as to why he's exploding as he is


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the big one guys. Most every thing is discussed. And some major steps and a time skip take place. Have FUUN  
> also dunno wtf the city is called that they live in so, meh.
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU HIROANGELLIGHT FOR THE GREAT FANTASTIC FANART!!! IT'S BEAUTIFUL:  
> https://twitter.com/shirolilya/status/1125474512961564674?s=20  
> (srry I dont know how to properly link....)

_“How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.”_ \- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five.

Almost two hours had past since the last fight, and sweat was running down his back, making his shirt fit awkwardly against his scarred skin. Keith was still jittery, needing to hit something. Fight something.

Maybe it was the dormant Galra genes finally taking rise to being permanent, who knew?

When Keith came back, everything had been cleaned up, put away. All the lights of the Christmas tree were still on.

He still felt the tidbit of fang, knew his eyes were still yellow. It was a fresh, residing anger that just wouldn’t leave no matter how much Keith exhausted himself.  
  
Shiro stood in the kitchen, drying off the final remnants of  now cleaned dishes.

“Where’s Lotor?”

“In his room, asleep. I put him down.”

Keith made a noise, pulling at Shiro and making a break for his room. Keith stopped briefly outside of Lotor’s room, just to double check. And just as Shiro said, completely asleep, head cuddled into his blankie. Completely safe and unaware.

He shut the door before moving along with Shiro.

“I’m sorry,” they both said at the same time when they entered the room. Shiro crossed his arms self-consciously, and Keith made to sit at the edge of the bed, looking at Shiro. 

“You go first,” Shiro tested, voice already sounding faintly scared and defeated.  
  
“It’s a lot, I- I have a lot to say.” Keith tried, warily.  
  
“I know.”

Nodding his head, Keith began, already feeling the floodgates beginning to open.

“I’m sorry.” Keith said immediately. “I know this isn’t how you work. But I can’t handle this anymore. You’ve been so close to us, this entire break, helping out. Honestly, ever since you helped me adopt Lotor. And it- it just keeps reminding me of the old days. At the Garrison. On the Castle Ship. I just-” Keith wrung his hands into his hair. “I just don’t understand where we went wrong.” He admitted, finally saying the words aloud for Shiro to hear and recognize.

“I know you suck at communication, don’t lie, we all know that.”

Shiro’s adams apple visibly bobbed.

“But I need to know, Shiro. You were my best friend. I told you I loved you. You were every bit of family I ever had, and then suddenly? You start backing off. We all became ‘Paladins’ and you become ‘Captain’. We were colleagues, mere acquaintances. Where did all of it go? I know you were hurt, and I gave you space. I let you rest. But Shiro-”

Keith removed himself from the bed, standing now. His hands were fidgeting at his sides, playing with the ends of his shirt, like Lotor often did when he was feeling shy.

“We both know it. I loved you. And I thought you loved me too. And I wanted nothing more than your happiness, and when you asked me to be the best man?” Keith’s voice cracked at the words, sound becoming harsh. “I-I accepted. I tried so hard to be happy for you. Maybe it wasn’t with me, but it’s why I saved you. I wanted you to live the life you wanted, when you were sick. The one you almost didn’t get to have.”

Shiro fell against the floor, back sliding down the wall, hitting the window sill with the back of his head in rhythmic beats.

“And we all know that I suck at acting. I tried to be happy. But it did. It broke me, Shiro. And afterwards? None of us talked. We all fell apart, individually, and no one was there to pick up the pieces. It’s getting better now, but it’s not what it used to be and maybe it never will.”

“Having to come to the anniversary once a year, the only time we all talked, not knowing what to say? It hurt more than anyone could ever know. You had all been my family; the first people to ever accept me, months of having to be forced to in Space. I didn’t think i’d ever have that chance. And I did.”

Keith breathed, his own voice beginning to shake.

“So when we stopped talking… it felt like I lost my Father again. That I was all alone again. All those years of moving on, making progress, and suddenly I regressed. I was angry. I was fuming. I lashed out and hurt you too, I know I did. I stopped more between us, more than what you were allowing. And I’m sorry. I couldn’t let myself be close. I couldn’t let myself lose another family member. But when Meidax came around, I thought... Maybe I could have something nice, y’know? This is what I’ve been missing out on, because I’ve been stuck on you, and you weren’t stuck on me, and as much as it would always hurt, I had to move on. And Lotor adored you, so… I threw myself at him, took the care and warmth and all the nice feelings about being in a relationship without letting myself realize the bad-”

Keith choked on a breath.

“I let him use me, however he wanted. It felt nice, and there were some things I didn’t want, but I allowed it. And it could feel nice… But, I always wished it was someone else.”

Keith watched Shiro wince at the words, a painful shiver running down his body. Shiro closed his arms over his legs, holding himself.

He looked like he knew the answer.

“And that’s when I realized, no matter what you are in my life, I want you there. You’ve always done so much…. So I’m sorry. I lost you, so many times that it keeps me up at night. I keep losing you, and the last time was for years, because we can’t talk about our shit. And I have a kid now. And I need to be a good role model for him. So, I need to change. I want you in my life, in whatever form that means.”

Keith sighed loudly, running his hand through his hair. “I lost you, Shiro. Not only as a lover, but as friend. I loved you Shiro, and I still do. And I know something is going on. Something you’re not talking about, because you never talk about your issues. And it’s killing me to see. You’re a shell of yourself. And I’m just finally asking, finally apologizing, because if you’re willing. I need to know why.”

Shiro was quiet for a long while. Such a long while, Keith was sure he wasn’t even going to speak.

Keith sighed, and almost decided to leave the room when he heard the small voice, finally speak.

“I realized, Keith. If it hadn’t been for me, if it hadn’t been for my selfish ways, everyone would still be here. You wouldn’t have that scar. Allura would still be alive. Adam-”

“No,” Keith interrupted quickly, a little harsh. He knew the direction  this was heading. “You don’t get to think like that, Shiro. You had a dream, a dream you didn’t think you’d ever live to see. And you did it. You can’t hate yourself for wanting to go to space, for working so hard, for surviving-”

“But if I had just listened to Admiral Sanda, to Adam, so many more lives would have been saved! What did you say to Pidge that one time? Two lives versus the sake of the Universe? It’s not worth it. I wasn’t worth it…”

“Shiro.” Keith put his hands over Shiro’s, holding on tightly. “If you hadn’t gone for your dreams, billions or more lives would have been lost. Our reality may not have even survived…”

“But we couldn’t have known. We still don’t know! I wouldn’t know that their deaths were on me.”  
  
Shiro became quiet, reliving a memory. “Y-you know, there’s this rule in law, that A-Adam told me about when he was in Law School, before becoming a pilot? When arguing for causation in tort, you use the ‘But for’ test. But for this act being commited, the damage never would have happened. But for me going to Space, fighting in the arena, letting Haggar use me, being mind controlled… but for me being a useless damsel in distress, you wouldn’t have had to come save me, time and time again! Allura, Ulaz, Adam would all still be alive. But for me just trying harder, doing more, proving a point to everyone who told me differently, I could have- I could have stopped everything. If I tried harder for Lance, if I had tried harder to stop the clone getting into the Black Lion, if I hadn’t met Ulaz…. But for me not listening and wanting to succeed in my dreams and just being so damned selfish, so many things would have changed.”

“We’d have an entirely different timeline.” Keith said, looking down on the now shivering Shiro. “We don’t know the ending of that one. Let’s say you didn’t go to space. The lions still would have called for us. Sam and Matt Holt and someone else still would have been taken, Matt would have died-”

“We don’t know that-”

“No. Just as you don’t know the what ifs of every scenario. You can’t keep blaming yourself for every death we’ve faced, Shiro. And you can’t keep baring it alone.”

Shiro’s eyes widened, hands shaking as he held onto his head.

“It’s just- I’m always there. Whenever I wake up. I can’t stop it, Keith. I can never stop it. And I think- sometimes I think-” Shiro stopped, falling to his knees, the sobs he’d held onto for years finally falling. Keith went with him, bringing Shiro towards his chest.

“Shiro, don’t. You know that’s not-”

“If I had just _died_ in the first place, let my stupid fucking disease kill me… the world would be a better place.”

Keith’s blood went cold. He held on tighter. “No. No.” Fuck Keith was beginning to lose it too. “No! If you had died, I would have died too, Shiro. If you hadn’t saved me, let me know that there was someone good out there who cared, I would have died. My son would have died. We’ve saved so many more lives than we lost. It just hits harder, because we knew the ones we lost so well.”

“But it never- there’s always flashes, always something, always faceless cries telling me I killed them in my sleep. I can’t sleep anymore. Curtis- Curtis helped me find a prescription, but it doesn’t work. I just always see it. Everything. Falling, fighting, trying to kill, I wake up and I’m hurting him- Curt- I’ve hurt you, I’ve-"  
  
“Shellshock. Ptsd. You’ve been having flashbacks the more you see us, haven’t you? That’s why you pulled yourself away. Seeing us caused flashbacks.”

Shiro remained silent, trying to control his cries.

“You’re going to kill yourself by doing this, Shiro.” Keith whispered, holding Shiro’s sobbing form to himself.

“Keith,” Shiro stuttered out before whispering, so quietly, “it already feels like I’m dead.”

Keith gulped. It was something he’d figured, honestly. Something he sensed more than he knew. But. Now he had the actual confirmation. That hurt Keith more than anything else.

“C’mon, we should get you to bed.”

“No!” Shiro tore himself away, hitting the edge of the bedding. “Here I am, the fucking damsel in distress, the little old housewife, again, needing to be saved, needing to be protected. I can do it. I swear, for once I can-” Shiro was throwing himself into a panic attack, his chest unable to take a proper breath.

“You’re human, Shiro. You’re supposed to be able to lean on people.”

“I’ve, I’ve been taken care of my whole life, with my sickness, with my parents dying, with my grandparents- I just wanted- I just wanted to prove. And- and it-” Shiro could no longer speak, curling in on himself.

Keith shuffled towards him, hands huddling over Shiro’s arms. Should he touch Shiro? He didn’t really know what to do. He was Keith. He wasn’t a psychiatrist.

“Don’t touch me! I’ll hurt you, just like everyone else!”

“Shiro, _please_. C’mon, you have so many people who love you, who look up to you. You’ve done more for every Universe than you could ever know. You sacrificing yourself and staying alive in the arena, holding on in the Black Lion, forcing yourself to come back to me when I was begging. Shiro you’re not weak, you’ve proven that. You just need a hand sometimes, and that’s okay. It really is. I think you’ve needed it more than anyone else and you’re not allowing yourself to just- open up.”

When Keith placed his hands on Shiro’s body, trying to be comforting, Shiro went silent, stiff. He stopped shaking. He lifted his head from his hands, looking towards Keith, around the room.

Shiro sniffed, moving to lean on his elbows. He still wasn’t breathing, not really. It was short, static huffs of air at best.

“I should go.” Shiro tried to move onto his feet, stumbling. Keith was right there, arms open.

“No.”

“I should go-!”

“NO!” Keith screamed. He grabbed Shiro’s metal arm, forcing him onto the bed. “You have a plan, don’t you?!” Shiro remained silent, eyes drifting down.

Guilty.

“This, all of this. You- you’ve been planning-” Keith gulped, starting over his old friend. He’d lost weight. How had he not noticed? The bags under his eyes. The glow, it hadn't been there in years. “Just how long, Shiro!?”

“I didn’t- I don’t want-... I can’t handle it anymore, Keith.”

“How long!”

“Since the pills…. Since I realized I needed to be prescribed meds again, just to sleep. Every morning there’s an assortment, so many, just to keep me sane, keep me living so Curtis can come back and fuck me for a night before leaving again…” He whispered, harsh truths finally coming out.

“You don’t get to die, not now.” Keith knew this wasn’t what to say to someone with depression, with suicidal thoughts, to someone who’s entire being was being forced to remember the worst of their life’s flashbacks.

“I can’t- I don’t feel anymore. Never, anything. I just feel heavy. It’s hard. Sleeping. Eating.” Shiro was growing tired, falling against the pillows, Keith’s hands still holding him down by the shoulders.

“Lotor,” Shiro pointed towards the opened door. “He’s been helping. So much. But he leaves. And then you’re gone. And I’m back in the empty house. Alone. Like I deserve. I deserve it all.”

“I deserve it, to have an empty life as a housewife. Whenever I try for anything more… people don’t just get hurt; they die.” Shiro’s eyes fell shut as he took a deep breath. “I deserved to die instead…” His panic brought on the tiredness, and Shiro was out like a light. It wasn’t until he heard deep breathing that Keith released the other. Keith slumped against the bedding, holding onto the sheets tightly. He brought them out Shiro, stroking his jaw, the stubble that grew there.

Keith fell to his knees, crying silently.

He couldn’t save everyone either. But he’d be damned if he let Shiro die.

After Christmas, maybe even tomorrow he could just leave a message. Get a hold of a good psychiatrist. Shiro needed to talk with someone. Needed something. Different pills. Medication.

Keith took a stuttering breath. Oh. Shiro’s glasses were still on. He reached for them, pulling them off gently to not wake the light sleeper. Sniffling and wiping his tears he put them on the bedside table when he heard the familiar shuffles of little feet, walking down the wood flooring.

“Papa?” Lotor whispered, holding his blanket and slowly opening the door. Keith lifted himself off the ground, moving towards the kid. “Hey, buddy. You okay?”

Lotor shook his head, looking like he was about to cry.

“Nightmare?”

Lotor nodded. “Can I sweep here tonight?”

Keith lifted Lotor onto his hips, looking between the sleeping Shiro and Lotor.

“You know I’d always say yes, Buddy. But…” Keith felt too guilty. This was not the night. And if what Shiro said was true about waking up, hurting Curtis because he was still in  a flashback...

“Why don’t we go make hot chocolate and watch a movie, and I’ll stay with you in your room afterwards. How does that sound?”

Lotor hummed, sniffling. He nuzzled himself into Keith’s neck, eyes trying to fall shut.

Keith looked towards the bed one last time, closing the door but not all the way. Keith wanted to be able to hear if Shiro began moving around.

Keith put Lotor down when they got to the kitchen, grabbing their two favourite mugs. He turned on the kettle with a heavy sigh, before feeling eyes latched on him, watching his every move.

“Was Papa crying too-”

Keith interrupted Lotor with a forced a smile. “Why don’t you go put on a movie, huh? Anyone you want. I don’t care.”

Lotor rolled his eyes. He shuffled away, the back of his blanket like the back of a wedding gown the way it dragged along behind him as he walked.

Keith had to hold back a laugh. The water began to boil and Keith brought out the hot chocolate mix and bag of marshmallows from the pantry, filling the cups with  the perfect amount of everything, though it never chocolatey enough for Lotor, but that was a sugar issue.  
  
He began pouring the water in when he heard a very muted voice in the background, seeing Lotor turning down the TV as much as possible. He looked at Keith with giant eyes and ran back up to him. “It’s not too loud for Shiro, is it? I’ll turn it down moe?”

Keith patted his head. “It’s perfect, Lotor. Thank you for being understanding. Now,” Keith picked up Lotor, opening up the bag of marshmallows with one hand. “You may do the honours.”

Lotor looked ecstatic.

“Weally?”

“Yup.”

“As many as I want?”

“As long as the cup isn’t overflowing with marshmallows, as many as you want. It’s the holidays, so it's a one time thing.” Keith had purposely left a lot of room in Lotor’s mug, knowing his son would add way to many. Lotor grabbed two handfuls, plopping them in his mug. He looked at Keith shyly, before grabbing one more to place perfectly on the top. “And one for good luck!” He exclaimed. He then looked at Keith’s cup, questioning it. He went in and grabbed a handful. “Ahh, just three for me, please.” Keith stuttered. He actually really hated marshmallows, always having preferred whipped cream. But they didn’t have any… Keith would have to make a last minute run to the grocery store tomorrow before Christmas shut everything down. If not, maybe he could borrow some from Hunk.

Lotor gave him a puffed out look, grabbing the giant marshmallows from the bag. “No, you get four. One for good luck.” He pressed a wet kiss to Keith’s cheeks, grabbing for his own mug. He grabbed his, cheersing the glasses.

“You know, in Korea, where your Grandfather was from,” Keith began, walking towards the living room, “they would always say ‘geonbae’. It’s a different way of saying ‘cheers’.”

“Gun-bay” Lotor parroted as Keith settled them into the laz-E boy chair. “Geon-bae.” Keith repeated.

Lotor settled on his lap, using his blanket as a pillow against Keith’s neck as Keith placed the larger pillow from the couch over their laps. He pressed play for the movie, watching as an old disney film began to play.

“Was Shiro okay?” Lotor whispered fifteen minutes into the movie, interrupting a more quiet scene with the little girl walking up a hill to pick up her homemade green toy. What was that dolls name again? Scrump, or something?

Keith hummed, shuffling around.

“I don’t know, buddy.”

“What was wong with him?”

Keith sighed, placing his barely drunk hot chocolate onto the coffee table. He turned Lotor towards him, Lotor seeming to understand that this was a more heavy conversation.

“You know, Buddy. Shiro’s kind of like you. He has nightmares too.”

“He does?” Lotor made a face. “But, he’s an adult.”

“Well, adults get nightmares too. Everyone does.”

“Even you?”

“Even me.”

“So did Shiro have a nightmare too, tonight? Is that why he’s staying in yo woom? Is that why I can’t stay with you two? Is that-” Lotor. The kid of many questions.

“Okay, one at a time. But, kind of. Shiro has… different nightmares. His nightmares are of memories. And sometimes he gets these memory nightmares when he’s awake too, like flashes.”

Lotor’s eyes widened.

“And sometimes, let’s say when he wakes up, Shiro thinks he’s still in his memory, where’s he’s…” Lotor was a big kid. He could explain this to a big kid, right? He’s not about to traumatize his son for life, is he?

Keith brought in a breath. Honesty is the best policy, he told himself. Kids notice and understand more than adults think. That’s what his Dad always said, why his Dad always told him the truth about his own Mother early on. So he shouldn’t be left in the dark.

“Shiro has suffered a lot. He’s been through a lot of pain. He’s very strong because he’s been able to survive, but sometimes, he can’t do it by himself. He remembers the times that caused him pain. Sometimes, when he wakes up, he’ll think he’s still there, in the past, and he’ll start fighting.”

“.... Awh you scawed he’ll hurt us?”

“In a way. It’s best if I handle it. A boy your age should only care about how many marshmallows he has in his hot chocolate.” Keith tried to joke, lessening the mood by tickling Lotor slightly on his side. It was a lacking effort.

“But,” Lotor said, picking at a melted, dried marshmallow crisp on the side of his almost empty beverage. “Shiro would never hurt us.”

“Never meaning to, no. But he doesn’t have control when he wakes up. And it scares him. He doesn’t want to accidentally hurt anyone.”

“So that’s why I can’t sleep with you tonight?”

“Just for tonight.”

“Okay,” Lotor sighed, settling back into his previous place.

“I have another question.”

Keith hummed, grabbing for his hot chocolate, barely watching the film on the screen. His thoughts were still with Shiro, what’d he’d do when he woke up. It was hard to keep his thoughts away from the other….

“Papa, is Santa real?”

Nevermind. Shiro put on the back burner, damage control starting now.

* * *

  
It was almost the afternoon when Keith heard footfalls from above as he started on the laundry.

“What are you doing?” Shiro’s voice was rough, and the man looked well beyond his years.

“Lotor had an accident last night. My fault, really. He had a nightmare so I made us hot chocolate, but he never went to the washroom so-” he held up the sheet before putting it into the washer, “laundry time on Christmas Eve.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t-”

“Don’t. That’s one thing I think we need to work on. You don’t need to constantly say sorry.”

“Sorry.” Keith stuttered at Shiro’s words, holding onto the empty basket. He couldn’t hold back the laugh, laughing and looking at Shiro who joined him. He saw Lotor peek up from his game with his stuffed animals. He was playing rocket again, tearing through space as an astronaut. He lifted an eyebrow at the two adult weirdos before going back to swiftly passing through a meteor field.

“I’m serious, though, Shirogane….” He looked over the other.

“I have to run into town briefly to pick up some last minute groceries-”

“Want me to?”

“No offence, but you look like you’re about to kneel over and pass out. It’s fine. I’ll go, if you look over Lotor? He’d just playing astronauts right now. I’m sure he’d love another member.”

Shiro hummed, looking down at his worn outfit.

“I used the toothbrush you left out, and your toothpaste, but,” he looked down at his outfit. “I may need a change.”

Keith hummed. “Oh shit, right, today you was your laundry day. I’m sure I have something-” Shiro gave him a look. “Right, ya, bad idea. How about we all go out. You can pick up some more clothes from your place, plus the other Christmas shit,  and we come back here?”

“But it’s Christmas Eve. And you’re better, which was the only reason I’m here, and I was thinking about heading home today anyways, let you have your first Christmas together, so-”

“You’re not spending Christmas alone, Shiro. No one should. Curtis won’t be here, and it’d make Lotor’s year if you helped open presents.”

“I... I do have a couple presents of my own to give you two…”

“Perfect, uhh. After the laundry we’ll go, okay? If you’re feeling up to it. To the store, then pick up the gifts, and your stupid amount of decorations. But then after? I think we should talk Shiro. I really think we need to.”

Shiro nodded, shyly. “Yeah…” He admitted, looking ashamed. “I agree. It’s-”

“Getting bad again. I was up most of last night reading up on well- everything. From depression to ptsd to eating disorders to survivor’s guilt and suicidal thoughts.”

“I don’t have an eating disorder.” He stated it so firmly, like the entire concept perplexed him.

Keith lifted an eyebrow and Shiro opened and closed his mouth.

Caught.

“I’ll uh- just-” Shiro pointed towards Lotor. “Play.”

Keith watched him, trying to keep the appearance of pity off his face.

“Coffee first? It’s hard playing without a kid without caffeine. Trust me.” Keith shut the laundry door, moving towards the kitchen.

“Good idea.”

“Mewwy Christmas Eve, Shiro! Guess what! Santa’s real and coming down the chimney tonight!”

Shiro laughed, watching Lotor with all his toys, airplaning around the living room.

“Be careful of the tree, Lotor.” Keith chided, making a new pot of coffee.

“Shiro wanna play ass-tero-not with me?! You’ve been a real live cool ass-tero-not! You’d be perfect, much better than Mr. Penguin.”

“Yeah, sure Kiddo.” Lotor grabbed at his hand, pulling him towards the living room. “Shiro, Papa? What about kids that don’t have chimneys, how does Santa get to them?”

Shiro and Keith groaned. 

* * *

  
“Why didn’t you braid your hair?” Shiro laughed, watching Keith try to pull the rats nest of long hair into a bun. It was stuck in pieces between his coats and his turtleneck. Lotor was dangling his legs through the carts leg holds, playing with his blankie.

“Didn’t have time.”

The grocery store was insane, and Keith felt entirely bad for the retail workers on this incredibly festive day.

Keith was getting butted around from the commotion, his anxiety pecking a bit from the heavy dose of people in such a small place. He knew he could feel calm momentarily about the scouts, but the protestors-

He held on tighter to the cart, Shiro instantly taking notice.

“I can do the grocery shop if you want to take Lotor back to the car.”

Keith waved Shiro off. “Minor inconvenien- woah!” Just as Keith went to grab a cranberry sauce, he was completely bulldozed by a needy mother and her family. He tried to catch himself on the cart, only pushing it into the open aisle. Shiro caught the end, stopping what could have been a cart crash.

“Jesus.” Keith sighed, picking himself off the floor, rubbing his sore behind. “It’s nuts.”

“Christmas Eve for you. Where’s the list?”

Keith showed it to Shiro who hummed.

“Okay, I’ll go get the stuff for the C-O-O-K-I-E-S, while you get the potatoes and salad stuff… Should I pick up some I-C-E-C-R-E-”

“Yes, Shiro, that’d be good. And you don’t have to spell everything out like he’s a dog who knows the word ‘walk’, he’s a kid who has to learn the meaning of no.”

“No!” Lotor stated, staring longingly at a can of cranberry sauce.

Since the Christmas Party, the kid had fallen in love deep for that shit.

Couldn’t put it down.

Shiro laughed a little, running off into an unknown aisle. Keith watched with a heavy look in his eye as Shiro also got ran over by a cart and yelled at by an elderly lady.

He apologized profusely, hands up and trying to ease her anger before attempting to run off again.

Always the gentleman.

“Papa?”

“Hmm…” he asked in a daze, just staring off to the space where Shiro once stood.

“Awh you gunna date She-wo like you day-ted that otha, scawy guy?”

Keith jumped from his frozen position, feeling the line up of angry Moms behind him.

“No! No! And get that out of your mouth.” Keith grabbed the can of cranberry sauce from Lotor and tossed it further into the cart, completely out of reach. He grabbed the cart’s handles and began to push, completely on the defensive. 

* * *

  
It took an hour. It took an _hour_ to get fifteen items from Keith’s grocery list. Most of which was cookies for Santa that Keith forgot about.

Damn Alteans and Lance and Shiro and television, letting Lotor know about the stupid Earthen Christmas customs.

The kid was never going to sleep tonight, Keith knowing he’d sneak as many cookies as possible before it was time for bed.

Damn Hunk for making them cookies that first day in the Hospital.

Damn everyone.

“You’re seething.” Shiro chuckled as he watched Keith drive well past the speed limit. He was being cautious since there was precious cargo in the vehicle, but… just doing almost twenty over the speed limit wasn’t _that_ bad of an issue.. “I know no one’s out here, but you can slow down.”

“Hmmph.” Keith stomped his foot on the break, slowing the hovercraft down.

“The store wasn’t _that_ bad.”

“I almost punched a grandmother.”

“You did.”

“I didn’t want to.”

“She _was_ being quite pushy.”

“But it was her own fault! I grabbed the potatoes first!”

“I know.”

“And who grabs a sack of potatoes from someone else’s cart?! Especially when they’re in a child’s hands. Why! That’s _literally_ taking candy from a baby.”

“I’m not a baby.” Lotor pouted, hands still hugging the almost kidnapped sack of potatoes.

Shiro reached over the console, patting Keith’s shoulder, holding his hand steady. “There, there.” He teased.

They reached the gates, Keith noticing immediately that the gardens and five minutes of acreage were all overgrown.

“What’s going on with the grass?”

Shiro shrugged. “The staff are all out for holidays, and I can’t keep it up by myself, as much as I want to. And it’s not like I have company, so why try?” He looked almost defeated, putting on a forever smiling and strong fake face.

Keith tucked the interaction away for later as he parked the car, Shiro immediately running up to the door and unlocking it as Keith helped Lotor out of his babyseat.

“Papa, why do I have to sit the bay-bay seat? It’s unfaiw.”

“Because it’s dangerous otherwise.”

“But it isn’t dange-are-us foe you!”

“That’s cause I’m an adult, with experience and a license. I am allowed to.”

“A ly-zens?”

“ _License_. Yeah. It’s a bunch of tests you have to do with applications and studying, to prove you’re competent enough to perform an activity, like driving.”

“Papa, when can I get a ly-zens to dwive wike you?”

“When you’re 16, and not a second sooner.” Keith said, combing his hands through Lotor’s growing hair.

“Papa, does Santa have a ly-zens?”

“Absolutely.” Keith deadpanned as they walked up the stairs, past the columns and through the opened doorway.

“What.” Keith stopped. “The-”

“Ohmy _GOD!!!!!”_ Lotor screamed what Keith had been cursing.“No.”

There, in the living room, was at least twenty gifts. All tagged but without a signature. Maybe Shiro was planning on saying some were from Santa.

“Shiro.” Keith said, his anger continuing to rise. “Shiro.”

Shiro was smiling sheepishly in front of them all.

“If it helps, some are for Kosmo? And your mom? And Kolivan?”

“Any for the previous paladins?” Keith gritted through his teeth. Well, this just ruined Lotor’s Christmas surprise.

“Uhh, no. Already did- we actually didn’t do that this year. Haven’t since…” Shiro flushed, motioning to a single picture frame of Shiro’s wedding, Keith tucked away behind.

You couldn’t even see him-

“Get them in the car. If they fit. And the decorations.” Keith didn’t think it’d all fit.

“I’ll come back with Kosmo if they don’t.”

“No. I will. You will watch Lotor.” Keith pointed sternly. “But you will put the presents in the car.” And Keith would not be helping, that’s for damned sure. He was still angry from the people and the store and the fight just the evening prior.

He was allowed to watch Shiro suffer through this.

He then had a questioning thought.

Did Shiro wrap all of these gifts individually? By himself? None of his staff had been working over the holidays, so Keith was jumping to surprising conclusions.

“Yes, sir,” Shiro chuckled, grabbing at the first five small gifts and leaving the room, Lotor still running around excitedly touching and shaking everything.

“Lotor, put those down, they might be fragile!” 

* * *

  
When the living room was finally empty and the decorations were packed and Lotor was placed back into the seat, Keith was asked to double check the living room, just in case. Somehow, with the groceries, the piles of presents and decorations all fit into Keith’s hovercraft. Sure, Shiro had to hold some on his lap, and in his arms, and below his feet, but he could live, he swore it.

Keith rolled his eyes, running back into the house.

He double checked the living room, over the couch, near the window. Under the kitchen table. He wandered into the Kitchen, just in case there was a card or something there, mail. Who knows.

It was then, in the complete emptiness of that cold living space, that Keith noticed the flung pieces papers over the granite counter tops, where he once watched Lotor sit as Shiro attempted to make pancakes. He walked over to them, as though they were sirens, calling Keith over to view their contents, keep the knowledge with him forever.

He ran his eyes over the bolded words.

_Claimant:_

_CURTIS WILLIAM ADEDOYIN_

_Respondent:_

_TAKASHI SHIROGANE  
_ 

**_NOTICE OF FAMILY CLAIM  
  
_**

Keith stared at the forms, looking over all the words about schedules and rules and appendixes.

It was signed, by both Curtis, Shiro, the lawyers, and the judge.

This was a divorce application. A signed and approved divorce application.

Keith blinked.

“Hey, Keith, find anything else? It’s been awhi- oh-”

Keith jumped, trying to hide the papers behind him as though he’d never seen them.

“Oh…"

He had always been a terrible actor.

And Shiro refused to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” Keith quickly said, moving in front of Shiro.

Shiro was staring down at the ground. 

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have snooped.”  
  
“My fault.” Shiro spoke, so softly and sad. “I left it out on the counter, knowing we’d be back…”

He didn’t know. Couldn’t have known.

None of this was Shiro’s fault.

“Let’s go. Getting late and we still have to make cookies.” With that Shiro turned around and left, leaving Keith completely alone, turning back to graze over the forms once more before leaving the mansion for the last time.

It wasn’t until later, when they were close to the house and Lotor was napping in the backseat that Shiro finally spoke, the silence weighing heavily on everyone.

“Curtis wanted to separate.” Shiro whispers finally, eyes concentrated on the road. He isn’t fully there, dissociating, maybe. Make it easier.

“He’s with his parents, in the Dominican, for the holidays, as you know. Thought it’d be easiest to sign the papers before he left, start the process… We qualify, since technically we’ve been separated for over a year.”

“What? But how-”

“We’ve been sleeping in separate rooms for years, and there hasn’t been any hopes of reconciliation. According to the courts, we qualify. So. Quicker process.”

“His decision or yours.”

“Both. After the adoption fell apart… So did we. Said it hurt that after all this time, I still couldn’t open up. It was hard to communicate between us.”

“Oh.”

Sadly, to Keith. It wasn't all that surprising. 

* * *

  
It was long after midnight by the time Lotor finally settled down, leaving Keith and Shiro to make  up the stockings and bring down all of the gifts. They ate the cookies on the table, Keith writing a little note of thank you from Santa and cookie crumbs to make it look like he’d come by.

“Really, Shiro, this is too much.” He said as Shiro was perfectly the aesthetic of the presents. They had an order, apparently.

“Never. He deserves it.”

With a roll of his eyes and a silent agreement, Keith ended up signing some of Shiro’s gifts from Santa, which Shiro seemed to be excited for.

The presents in Shiro’s arm, however, were all for Keith, his name shining from underneath the tags. He sighed. He’s glad he got Shiro just as much, in the end, having been saving up throughout the year with Lotor’s help. Whenever something reminded Lotor of Shiro, he’d usually come back, look it over and make the purchase. Nothing was honestly too useful, just little stuff.

But it reminded them of Shiro, so it was the thought that counted, right? Once they finished setting everything up and placing Lotor’s stocking outside his door, giving him something to do before bursting into Keith’s room in the morning at 5 am, Keith started the kettle, Shiro giving him a wry smile.

“Time for the talk?”

“Yup.” Keith said, popping the ‘P’. The two sat down at the table, feeling heavy and tired and muscles unable to move. Keith folded his hands over his warm cup of tea, decaf, but it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t be sleeping tonight anyways.

“So, I’ll start with the big guns, I guess.” Keith decided to jump right in, get it over with.

Talk.

They could talk right?

Even if Shiro’s worst nightmare was communication.

“It was his idea, you know?” And Keith’s eyes widened, staring at Shiro. Shiro, with his head down, so Keith couldn’t see his sad, misty eyes, leaving only shaking hands.

He looked defeated in half shadows of the room, hidden from the fires of candlelight.

But it had been Shiro who spoke up. That must have meant something, no?  
  
“Whose? For what?” Keith questioned, in need for Shiro to just continue speaking.

“Take a break. Find a new hobby. Write. I had enough money to do anything for the rest of my life. He thought it’d be best to take a break for a bit, get myself back on my feet. But the longer the break went on, then harder it was to go back. Curtis saw that…”

Shiro tried to shake his hands in explanation, showing only further frustration. “He saw I was struggling at work, without you guys. He thought it was more noticeable, the flashbacks, when I was around you. I always had the worst flashbacks after seeing the team, for some reason. Seeing the looks on everyone’s faces, the empty seat, it always took me back. He said-” Shiro took a shaky breath.

“He thought it’d be best to separate myself for a bit, keep myself away, get myself back on track. He didn’t think I needed a psychologist or psychiatrist, always said he’d be there if I actually needed someone to talk to. Said he had training for this kind of thing, knew how to get me out of a flashback. I think- that’s why I went for him? He knew how to deal with it all without a fuss. Never really brought it up, but knew it was there. But like my work, being separated from you guys became harder over time. You have no idea how many times I picked up the phone, wrote a letter to only stop it at the last minute, didn’t send it out when it was already wrapped in an envelope. I couldn’t- because what if you did respond? What if it did cause another flashback? And it was obvious everyone was upset with me, I was upset with me too. but I was so- I didn’t know what to do. For the first time ever, I didn’t know what to do and it scared me. What if I did have a flashback from hearing your voice? What if that _was_ the cause? I read so many books, Curtis was so sure we could fix it ourselves with mental health being so high in price-”

“You’re literally a billionaire…”

“Yeah but we give to charities, not ourselves….” He sighed, sipping at his tea.

“So I never did it.” He shrugged with a tongue pop. “He’d be so upset if I had, and I didn’t want to cause another fight, I really hated our fights. So I just- gave up. I didn’t try anymore. I sort of fell into this dark hole that I couldn’t get out of. I didn’t have a job, I pushed you out of my life because I truly felt like I deserved that after everything, I didn’t have a reason to leave the house- and Curtis was really good, but he always thought it was you guys, the memories of you specifically. He said it wasn’t good, maybe I should stop seeing you altogether…”

“Oh, Shiro...” Keith saw where this was going.

“And now? My body just feels so heavy. It’s hard to lift my hand some days. I feel like I could sleep forever and never eat and just pass out, and then I just think about how I’m wasting my life that so many others fought so hard to get a chance to have, and how selfish is that? That I can’t even get out of bed to kiss my husband when Allura could be alive and teaching the ways of Alteans instead and that just makes it even worse…”

“Shiro. I think… I think we need to call someone. A psychiatrist, a psychologist. You’re having a hard  time, and this time it’s all mental. It’s something that isn’t physically obvious, y’know? Like in the past with your illness. And it’s not as evident as fighting the Galra had been, not as obvious as your past disease. This isn’t physical, it’s mental, and that’s something you’ve never really allowed yourself to notice.”

Keith sighed loudly, grabbing for Shiro’s shaking hands, holding tightly.

Shiro shook his head, eyes looking tired behind his glasses.  
  
“I think I was the same, before meeting you, after you disappeared… Before saving Lotor.” Keith admitted, looking away. “I always thought, if my own mother hadn’t wanted me, who would? I must be  unlovable. I should just give up. Just sleep my days away. And then you came along, and you showed me kindness, and I began living again. The days spent in the desert, just flying? I had never felt so alive, Shiro, and I thank you for that. You! And when you ‘died’? The ‘pilot’ error? I barely made survived.. Only that weird energy kept me going. Or after Zarkon? Lance had to be the one to come into my room, force me to eat. I was in such a state of despair. I know it was an unhealthy obsession now, but believing you were still out there, alive? I couldn’t stop fighting, I _had_ to keep searching. But if I had believed it at any moment, for one second, that you had died, I probably would have lost it. I would have lost my purpose. Went off to be completely alone. Grown mad, die young in a place I didn’t belong, just like I thought I deserved. An unwanted half-breed mutt, y’know?” Keith was crying now, unable to stop himself.

“I loved you, Shiro. So much. And making sure you, the one person who saved me, could continue to live, the one person who saw the kindness of the world against the hatred of it all, was the one thing that got me through. I always thought, ‘if Shiro can do this, so can I.’ So thank you, Shiro. For being you, and showing me true kindness. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without it.”

“Keith-” Shiro’s eyes were glistening but he wasn’t letting them fall. He huffed, rubbing at the red-eyed rims. “God, there’s been so much crying in the past two days. I’ve never cried like this before.” Shiro laughed, Keith joining him.

“Me neither. I never cried, but here I am.”

“Jesus, we’re a mix.”

“And the night before Christmas too. Aren’t the holidays supposed to be a happy time?”

“This is happy, though, is it not? A hope for a new beginning…” Shiro said, tentatively.

“Yeah.” Keith tightened his hold. “Yeah it is. To a new beginning. We’ll look into a good psychiatrist, we’ll book an appointment. Hell, maybe I’ll tag along. A broken kid from an orphanage sure has enough baggage to talk through too, right?”

Shiro blinked his surprise. It was obvious that wasn’t what he’d been expecting to hear. “You’d do that?”

“What, not leave you alone?” Shiro nodded, unspeaking.

“Shiro, I think we’ve been forcing ourselves to be alone long enough, don’t you think?”

Shiro smiled. “You’re saving me again, aren’t you?”

“As many times as it takes. I won’t let you fall again, Shiro.”

A tear did fall, and it seemed like Shiro was finally believing to some of the words. Maybe he didn’t deserve to do this all alone. Maybe Keith was right. Shiro didn’t entirely believe it. But it was a start, wasn’t it? 

* * *

  
As per requirement, Lotor woke them up at the fuck break of dawn.

Kosmo wasn’t even awake yet.

When his little feet stepped into Keith’s room, hopped onto the bed, Keith made a noise of discontent. He checked his clock.

“It’s five am, Lotor…” he grumbled unhappily. He only went to bed a few hours prior. He could still feel his swollen eyes from the crying.

“But Santa came! I wanna open my staw-king! Can I? Can I?”

“You can open your stocking in your room, but you can’t go downstairs. Ruins Santa’s magic and will evaporate all of Santa’s toys that he brought.” Keith made a sad motion with his tired arm, tucking his head further into his pillow.

Lotor gasped loudly, shuffling away. “Santa would do that?!”

“Only to bad children who don’t listen to their parents. So when the clock turns to 7:30? We’ll open presents then. No sooner.”

Lotor jumped off the bed and scattered back to his room.

Keith shuffled further into the warmth of his bed, hugging his pillow tighter. He was sleep before he noticed another minute tick by. 

* * *

  
Opening presents, much like at Lotor’s birthday, was an overwhelming endeavor.

There were gifts from the paladins, mostly Shiro, Keith himself and Krolia and Kolivan.

Keith was going to have to build another fucking story of his house at this rate.

Lance, Pidge, and Hunk were all calling, separately of course,  and Krolia was still trying to figure out the best time to land. Shiro’s pot of hot water was boiling, and Keith wasn’t quite sure how long the he made the night prior had been in the oven for.

It was going insane.

Thankfully, Keith had Shiro to help him with the kid this fine, fine morning. After Kosmo’s breakfast, Lotor helped open Kosmo’s stocking with Shiro, tossing the wolf the bone, which helped keep him at bay, Otherwise, Lotor was making his rounds of Shiro’s presents.

So far, just from Shiro, Lotor had plenty of new books, outfits, stuffed toys, and movies to watch, many were film noir, or simply black and white, so that excited Lotor endlessly.

“Afta? Afta? Can we watch? Pease?” Lotor held up one of the five Walmart movies at Keith, who sipped at his tea and was opening a gift from the McClains. It was the gift he originally noticed Lance sneakily leave behind the other day.

“Yes, Lotor. We can after.” He really should turn off the oven.

“ _Shirooo_!?” Keith whined as Lance continued to yell at him over the phone to hurry his butt up and open his gift. Apparently a lot of time and effort went into it.

“Can you turn off the oven? You don’t have to do anything. Just turn it off.”

“Should I take out the quiche?”

Keith gave Shiro a deadly look, and Shiro quickly moved out of the way, laughing with hands up. “Okay, won’t touch anything except turn off the oven.” He promised, doing exactly as told.

_“Hurry up, Mullet!”_

“Lance, does that still apply? I mean, I never even had a mullet but now-” Keith looked towards his own loose hair. It fell over his shoulders as he ran his fingers through it. Freshly washed, and Keith had used a new shampoo and conditioner that Shiro brought from his place. It made it extra soft, which kind of weirded Keith out. It felt odd. And poofy.

And much more wavy than it’s usual, strangely straight look.

“ _Yes you did._ ”

Keith sighed, finally getting off the ribbon. Luckily, Lotor was not so stubborn about wrapping paper. He loved it for about a week, and hated it afterwards and wanted it out of his sight. So Keith is now free to tear at the wrapping paper as much as he desired.

He opened the box, and was presented with a large, handmade, quilt.

Keith was speechless. He pressed his hands onto the soft, hand knit material.

“Holy fuck, Lance-”

“ _My Mom mostly did it, with everyone’s help. Said all families need a handmade quilt to start off.”_ He shrugged smugly. “ _So, like it?_ ”

Keith lifted the large blanket from the box, holding it against his chest. The pattern was all of blocked colours in triangles, all of their colours: the paladins, Voltron, the lions.

A little piece of home.

Keith held on tighter.

“Thank you.” Was all he could say. It was so warm, too.

“ _So, you like it!? It_ was _my idea!_ ” Lance egged him on.

Shiro came back into the scene, picking up Keith’s present to himself, watching Keith try and hold it together and Lotor continued playing with his opened presents.

He still had a lot to go through.

“I love it.”

“ _Great! That thing took like, six months to make, dude, give or take. Lots of family help and pressure, but we McClains and Holts and Garrets and Corans can do anything!_ ”

What else could Keith say besides ‘thank you’? So he kept expressing it. Again and again and again and again.

He knew Lance loved an ego boost.

Shiro was smiling, a genuine look,, holding his own communicator out for the Holts and Hunk to watch the grand reveal.

“Papa has a bankie too!” Lotor shouted, running towards Keith and waving at Lans. “Un-cal Lans! You gave Papa a bankie too!!!”

 _“Yeah, I did! And if you look you might notice something, Champ._ ” Lance winked, and Keith opened the blanket up fully.

All the paladins colours, including Shiro’s and Allura’s and Coran’s were there. Anyone who had an impact on Voltron during those lonely years in Space, when it was just the seven of them.

Every type of moon, shaded in purple aligned the blanket, diagonally cutting through with the full moon  straight in the middle.

“Moon!”

“ _Yeah, because you love moons, buddy! We put moons on the blanket to represent you._ ” Pidge stated.

Lotor looked shocked, pointing a finger towards himself. “Me?”

“ _Yah, Lotor you_!” Hunk said.

“Papa! Papa! I’m the moon! I’m the moon!”

“Yeah, you’re the moons, Lotor.” Keith smiled happily, bringing up the kid to sit up on his lap. He settled the blanket over all of them, including Shiro, who smiled at the thought of being involved.

“ _Well, I should probably get moving, lots of gifts to unwrap. Glad you liked your blanket, Keith. Merry Christmas guys!"_

“ _Merry Christmas_!” Pidge and Hunk shouted happily, waving. They had spent the Holidays with the Holts up in the mountains, skiing, though Pidge spent more time indoors then out, never having enjoyed the sport and the cold and the nature of it all.

“Maw-wy Christmas!” Lotor yelled back, and the communicators shut off.

Shiro smiled. 

“Did you know?” Keith asked quietly. “About this?”

Shiro nodded. “I did.”

That was that. Keith grabbed Shiro from his sitting position, holding him tightly in a hug. Lotor was in the middle of the two, completely unsure of what was going on as he held still.

“Thank you.” Keith whispered, so concretely that the words would never have another meaning in Shiro’s mind.

“It was the least I could do.”

* * *

  
A while after they had pretty much finished, a small, envelope remained, tucked underneath the tree’s mat, having obviously fallen. Lotor, running around the tree and crawling underneath the glowing lights, found it, tucked just a little under the mat.

His eyes peered over the roman alphabet words, knowing what it meant from having memorized Keith’s name. Holding the pink envelope tightly, he ran into the kitchen where Keith was finishing up cutting the pieces of the warmed quiche.

Keith placed the different sized pieces onto three plates. He walked them over to the table, setting it all up as the the yule log on in the background alongside Frank Sinatra.

“Papa! Papa!” He waved it around as Lotor bounced into his seat. “It’s for you!” Lotor handed Keith the envelope. Lotor picked up the his fork, staring excitedly at the food.

Shiro was in the washroom cleaning up, so Keith sat down at the table for breakfast. Lotor immediately dug in, very hungry after the mornings endeavours of opening presents. Usually Keith would scold him to wait for everyone to be sitting, but it was Christmas and the kid was hungry, so he would let it slide for once. The kid would probably need a nap soon at this pace and Keith felt no need to chastise him for not waiting.

At dinner he would.

Which at the thought, Lotor napping would do Keith some good. He needed to start dinner, following Hunk’s very carefully, laid out instructions.

Waiting for Shiro to begin eating, Keith opened up the envelope in the meanwhile.

From inside, a letter and another form fell out.

Uncertain, Keith opened the form first, having it fall open on the table directly in front if him.  


****_LAST WILL_  
  
1\. THIS IS THIS IS THE LAST WILL, of me, TAKASHI SHIROGANE, unemployed, of the City of Garrison Concord, State of Nevada.  
  
2\. I REVOKE all my prior wills and codicils.  
  
3\. HEADINGS are inserted for convenience only and do not affect how this Will is interpreted.

Keith stopped reading.

His hands began shaking, and he tossed the damned Will aside.

Was this just how close he’d come? To losing Shiro again? He’d made _actual plans._

He fucking drafted his will! Keith knew there was something, suicidal thoughts, Shiro being worried, he figured there was a plan but-

But he didn’t realize it had been _this_ close!

He opened the letter written in sad handwriting, obvious tear stains denting the paper. It was from the day of the fight with Lotor. Just three days prior.

_Dear Keith,_

_I am so sorry._

_By the time you read this I will-_

“Ahh, how’s the quiche?” Shiro asked, walking back into the room and wiping his hands on his pants.

He stopped, seeing Keith reading a letter frantically, hand over his mouth. His brain was even inputting all the information, only grasping at certain words. Shiro's eyes widened when he noticed the pink envelope.

_Death-_

_I’m sorry._

_Can’t handle,_

_I love you._

“I-”

“...”

“Papa?” Lotor asked, dropping his fork onto the table. “Awh you okay?” He asked as Keith dropped his head into his hands. “Shiro?”

“Keith, I’m sorry.” Shiro was backing up. “I wasn’t- I tried to- last night I thought-” Closer to the door. He was going to run.

Shiro hadn’t planned on staying for Christmas, he planned to go home Christmas Eve, Keith stunted that plan-

“Were you still going to?” Keith asked, putting the letter down onto the table, and Shiro looked like a deer in the headlights. Keith stalked upwards, closing in on Shiro, moving him away from the doorway.

“Well, were you? Gunna play nice, all Holiday? And then bam!? Wake up to find another loved one dead?”

Shiro continued walking backwards, shocked and scared by Keith.

“You dated it, it was at least a few days ago, before our conversation, I know that. Was that the original reason behind the blanket? The presents for Lotor? To have something to remember you by?”

Shiro shook his head, then nodded his head, like he didn’t know what answer was correct.

“Well!?” Keith shouted.

“I-”

“Just say it, Shiro!”

“I don’t know!” He screamed. Shiro tripped over his own legs, falling against the couch. Legs spread over the armrest, Shiro covered his eyes with his arm. “I don’t want to. Like this morning, I really didn’t want to. But sometimes, I just- I don’t have control. And I want to, so badly. And I don’t want to die. I really don’t. But my mind…”

He took his arm away, staring at the ceiling, at Keith.

“I’m getting scared, Keith. I’m getting really scared.”

Keith fell onto his knees, Lotor jumping down from the table and running to  the scene. Like Keith, he fell to his knees beside Shiro, holding his hand.

“Is Shiro sad? Like last night?” He asked Keith.

“It’s a different kind of sad.” Keith whispered, holding on and never looking away.

“Would a kiss make it better?”

Shiro almost scoffed at the saccharine question.

Lotor pressed a slight kiss to Shiro’s metal shoulder, where scars and swelling rose to meet flesh.

“I don’t wike seeing Shiro sad.” Lotor said, raising up and hugging Shiro across his chest. “I love Shiro.” He whispered and Shiro’s heart stuttered.

Shiro raised his hands over Lotors body, shocked by Lotor’s words.

“I love you too, kiddo.”

Lotor was smiling, and Keith joined in.

“Shiro.” He whispered in to Shiro’s skin.

“We should call someone.”

“It’s the holidays, Keith. No one will pick up.”

Keith squeezed Shiro tighter.

“Then we make them pick up. I love you too much, _we_ love you too much, Shiro. And you deserve a happy ending. Not the kind that… that outcome would have had...” Keith said. “I’m going to start calling people. With your consent. But if you’re really that scared, Shiro. I think it’s for the best.”

He was quiet for a moment. “So, time to start digging into all my mental atrocities, huh?” Shiro tried to joke, sullenly.

“No, Shiro. It’s time for you to start living the life you once wished you could have. I’m making the call.”

“Okay,” Shiro agreed, holding onto them through his hug as Keith pulled out his phone, still shoved against Shiro’s chest.

“Okay.”

A fresh start, wasn’t it?

* * *

  
It was two whole years later when everything began even themselves out.  
  
Shiro was still going to his psychiatrist three times a week, while Keith and Lotor were down to once a week. They had tried and played around with medication for Shiro’s PTSD and depression, eventually finding one that worked better than most. Some days were still tough, but it was much better than it had been.  
  
Shiro and Keith talked almost every day, their friendship slowly reviving, giving each other space when needed, and always open to talk when needed, even if it was a 3 am ride through the desert.  
  
Things were restoring themselves between the paladins, finally, eight years after Allura’s passing. They got together, had pot luck dinners, and generally kept in touch.  
  
There was still a tension between Keith and Shiro, always the tease of something more. It had been discussed in private the year prior, but they decided to work on themselves first, rather than using the other as a crutch, becoming too dependant on one person.

Shiro and Curtis finalized the divorce, Curtis getting the house, Shiro getting some of the assets. It took  a few fights, but Keith eventually swayed Curtis, and was able to get the koi fish Shiro had come to love dearly. Shiro had his own apartment, but most of his stuff was at Keith’s, and he was there often enough that Keith had given him a key to the house.

With the help of the Alteans and their magical abilities, they were able to fertilize the ground around Keith’s house, creating a garden  near the tree and Kosmo’s shelter, and a shaded area to make the pond for the koi fish. Shiro had honestly shed a few tears when Keith surprised him on his birthday, Lotor smiling knowingly, happy as well. He had worked hard on that garden for Shiro.

Lotor continued growing so much every day.

True to Meidax’s word, scouts were still sent, being sent in larger numbers which caused Keith great fear.

The Blade had put up a station on Earth, aiding Keith whenever it became too much.

And? Lotor asked if he could join, begin the ways of how to properly yield a weapon, learn how to fight.

And he wanted to, had taken an interest after watching Keith training outside so often.

But here they were, in a time of peace...

The Christmas tree was still up and it looked beautiful. The lights were dancing along the walls, and the candles and fireplace were lit, flooding the room in warmth. Keith walked towards Shiro, sitting in the chair. Keith pressed a finger to the open tip of the bottle in Shiro’s hand, tapping at the neck. “In my house, we appreciate good alcohol. And Budweiser does not classify as that.” Keith joked, moving backwards towards the kitchen, his own Jack Daniels and coke in his hand.

Keith's back hit the kitchen counter, Shiro stalking towards him.

“Budweiser has lived through generations, and got America through the Boston Tea Party. It’s an American classic and a passage of time for any well brought up citizen. Jack,” Shiro said, completely bullshitting as he tapped at Keith’s cold glass. “-is a cheap college kids drink, hoping to get intoxicated quickly.” He smirked, and Keith couldn’t keep his eyes away. He looked happy, genuinely happy and light. It was a good look on Shiro.

Keith grinned as Shiro grew closer.  
  
“You live in America, we have fantastic bourbon; Canada is fairly close, try the rye. Or hell, you have money, use some and buy a good scotch for yourself.” Shiro was so close, his heat closing in on Keith, towering over him. If Keith moved his head just an inch, he could feel Shiro’s stubble against his cheek. “Anything is better than that shit.”

“Why shell out a hundred dollars for a scotch that I may or may not like, when I have a perfectly acceptable, cheap, American whiskey that I know I’ll always enjoy.” Keith smiled, his words soft, scared to disturb the moment. “I have a kid, Shiro, I’d rather spend money on him than myself.”

Keith’s breath stuttered when he felt Shiro’s arms move around him, trapping him against the counter. He dropped his bottle of Bud against the counter, his fingertips brushing against the tips of Keith’s braid.

“Spoken like a true parent,” Shiro breathed. “And you do. You have a beautiful adopted son... who is currently out at a sleepover.”

Keith blinked, eyes moving upwards to finally look at Shiro.

“You’re looking at me.”

“I am.” Shiro whispered, hot, beer breath falling against Keith’s cheek. They hadn’t done this yet. Always on the edge, a tilting precipice that was always growing closer to falling, yet never making the final move. He was so close. If he just moved forward, his lips-

“You couldn’t look at me before.”

Shiro shook his head. He nosed at Keith’s skin, at Keith’s nose, Keith automatically reciprocating.

“It only made me remember. I needed time, Keith.”

“But you’re looking at me now.”

“I am.”

“What do you see?”

“What’s always been there, and what I feel like I can have now.”

“You could always have me.”

“No, Keith, I couldn’t.” There was a lot to unpack there.

“Shiro-”

“Keith.” Shiro pressed their lips together, open mouths and pressing his tongue to Keith’s. Keith made a surprised noise, shutting his eyes shut and dropping his glass. It made have spilled the whiskey, he wasn't sure. But Keith didn’t care. He grabbed at Shiro’s face, forcing him closer as Shiro’s hands tightly gripped at his back, pulling one fully into the other. There was absolutely no spaces left between them.

The kisses were rough, hardened. Years of missing time stuck between the two, grabbing at it for all its worth. Keith could already feel the stubble burn. The weird feeling of Shiro’s cold glasses against his skin. He lost his breath.

“Shiro,” Keith whimpered.

“I’m here.”

He was. Shiro was finally here.

“Stay?”

“Always, Keith. I promise.”


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright folks, shortest chapter yet! We're starting the next arc for this story! I see the entirety of this story to be cut in 3 parts  
> Part 1 - Keith finding Lotor, learning to parent, the team coming back together, along with Sheith  
> Part 2 - this part + fluff  
> Part 3 - spoiler/the ending that'll be a few chapters  
> So enjoy, and I may be going on a short hiatus next week, since besides the very very ending, not much is written/edited and I have been too busy to write. But cross your fingers I get shit done this long weekend :D

_“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.  
_ _"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” -_ JRR Tolkien, Lord of the Rings

It was a few days into Lotor’s second semester of first grade when Keith felt the little hairs rise against his neck, his instincts on fire. He tried to wave them off, thinking they meant nothing.

The protests over Lotor had settled down after the scout attacks began lessening. They still occured, but Keith felt safe bringing Lotor into the public eye once again.   
  
The Holts believed that Zarkon and Honerva were looking elsewhere, in a different universe, possibly. There had just been no one, for almost six months.

It was getting quiet.

And it worried Keith, the morning he woke up, having the feeling of eyes following him as he moved from his bed. Make his morning coffee.

He looked around, searched the house, and came up empty.

Shiro had gone out already for his morning run with Kosmo, having officially moved in the summer prior.

Lotor was stoked.

Though, he did say he wished Shiro had gotten the Mansion from his divorce instead of Shiro’s ‘otha husband.’

Keith sighed at the implication.

He was pouring himself a fresh cup of coffee when he heard a sound. It was someone moving around, shuffling against the floor.

It sounded like it was coming from his room, directly above  Keith’s head.

He rose an eyebrow.

He knew Lotor was still in bed, having just checked on the kid before coming down stairs. Slowly, he grabbed the largest knife he owned, his Blade hidden upstairs underneath the sink.

He tiptoed his way up the stairs, making sure not to make a noise. Years of experience with the Blade kept him on guard, the skills never leaving him as he used the wall as support. When he entered his room, luckily the door had been left opened, he heard shuffling in the bathroom, someone obviously looking for something. Taking a breath, Keith whammed the door open and leapt-

And stopped himself a he tripped over his own feet, crashing against the tub before stabbing Lotor.

“Lotor!? What are you doing!?”

Lotor looked sheepish.

“Lotor.” Keith groaned, knowing his stupid son was up to no good.

“....”

Keith sighed, moving himself into a sitting position. “Lotor, what’s going on?

“... I might have promised to show Mane and Kenzin your dagger?”

“You were going to bring a weapon to school.” He deadpanned. Kenzin was a little boy in Lotor’s class, a real sporty Galra who the PE teachers and coaches all adored. He and Lotor hit it off instantly during the first day of Kindergarten. And Lance’s niece Mane, even if she was a year ahead, quickly became the final friend of the trio.

“I wasn’t going to use it! I swear! But Uncal Lans has been telling Mane about your Blade days, and I said I’ve seen it a bunch of times and it’s super cool and goes ' _brrrsh’_ and turns into a giant sword! But only for you and Nana.”

“Yeah. No. Not happening. The last thing I need is for you to stab Lance’s niece.”

“But I promised I’d show them! And _you_ said don’t _ever_ break your promises!” Lotor argued, pointing his small finger towards Keith.

Keith sighed loudly, pinching his nose. “Well, okay… I did say that… fine, they can come over after school and have a playdate if their parents agree, and _I_ can show them. But none of you are touching it.”

Lotor sighed, shuffling away. His blankie was half over his shoulders, always and forever like a little veil.

Though Lotor was taller now, and it no longer wrapped completely around him, it still brushed against the floor as he walked.

Maybe it was just his royal routes coming to play, Keith laughed in his head.

He still had yet to lose the accent, too. Keith had assumed the kid had been practicing it from watching all those old detective movies, since he noticed that his accent was unique. The little bugger.

Keith figured he just liked being different, grabbing everyone’s attention in a different way.

He’d come so far from the little boy, three years ago, who wouldn’t leave Keith’s side.

Keith smiled, grabbing his dagger and placing it once again along his belt.

Maybe he could briefly show Mane, at least, before class, off school grounds of course. As for Kenzin, he’d have to run it by his parents, but being a Galra who had always had a soft spot for the Blade and the rebellion against Zarkon, Keith doubted there would be much of an issue.

It might be funny.

* * *

  
Keith had packed up Lotor’s lunch and the two were waiting outside when Shiro and Kosmo finally came into view.

Shiro was sweating as he sprinted the last little bit, the little beads of salt running down his bare torso and forehead. Keith smiled, watching the tanned skin coming closer to view.

The two landed at Keith and Lotor’s feet, Lotor rubbing Kosmo’s head and Keith crossing his arms as he leaned against the porch column. “That took you guys a while.” He said as Shiro brushed off the sweat dampening his forehead.

The other stood tall and proud. It had taken years, but he was slowly evening out. He still had episodes and PTSD flashbacks, and Keith had become extremely well accustomed to helping them out.

Some days, during the winter, the survivor’s guilt was overwhelming, and the dark thoughts would creep back.

Keith kept quiet, remaining as a sturdy rock beside Shiro, always there and listening when the other eventually broke.

But right here, right now, Shiro wasn’t better, and he’d never be, but he was okay.

And that, more than anything, is exactly what Keith had always wanted to see.

“Yeah,” Shiro laughed. “Went harder today, I think we both appreciated it.”

Kosmo howled happily, tail wagging.

Keith smirked when Shiro’s arm landed on his waist. An abrupt kiss to the cheek a few seconds later, and suddenly Shiro was surrounding him.

“How’re you?”

Keith shrugged. “You weren’t there when I woke up.” He said pouted.

“Awwh, Babe.”

Shiro. Beautiful, supportive, kind Shiro. Calling Keith something like ‘ _Babe_ ’.

The words always made Keith’s heart stutter, no matter how many times he heard it.

This was his reality now.

“But I’m fine. Good.”

Shiro caught on all too quickly.

So Keith sighed, shoulders dropping as he quickly checked the time. “I think there’s another scout around, for Lotor.” Keith said, lowly. Lotor had been too young to understand the consequences of being adopted, and to know who his parents really were. He barely even understood that they held a vast amount of power, both metaphorically and literally.

Keith wanted to wait until he was older to tell him everything. About Voltron, becoming a Paladin, the story of Allura.

Lotor’s parents in this reality and what had happened to them.

Would he mentioned this realm’s Lotor? When he was older?

Did Lotor even know that he was from another reality? He’d have no reason to….

It was an odd, unheard of thing to think about. But here Keith was, thinking about it.

“I feel like there’s someone out there, watching.” He shook his arms off, the hairs rising. “I can feel them… Like…”

“How we felt the lions.” Shiro grimaced as he helped Keith find his answer.

Keith bit his lips, looking off towards the desert upset.

“But dark, this time. The energy, the eyes. It’s… overwhelming. I don’t like it.”

“Hey,” Shiro whispered, holding his hands against Keith’s jaw, kissing away the nerves.

It helped, it always did.

“We’ll be fine, okay? I’ll let Kolivan know while you drop Lotor off. Hopefully it’s just the sudden quietness, but… We’ll be fine. Keep our eyes open, yeah?”

Keith sighed, tugging at his dagger.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Papa! We have to go!” Lotor yelled, on top of Kosmo and checking his watch. “We’re going to be late again!”

“Alright, alright.” Keith moved away from Shiro, giving each other a quick kiss as Keith ran off.

They all waved as Kosmo transferred them to the school grounds.

Keith never shook the feeling of eyes trailing his every move.

* * *

  
“Has anything off been happening?” He questioned over the communicator. “Kolivan? Mom?”

The two were in front of the communicator’s holograph, Kolivan tired and older, now, sitting, while Krolia stood tall and confident behind him.

It’d been  a few days since Keith felt… whatever it was.

The eyes were only getting stronger, Shiro having to wake Keith up when he tangled himself up from his nightmares.

They always wanted Lotor.

They always wanted to take his son away.

It was night, now, and Shiro was upstairs in their shared abode, typing away.

Lotor was outside on the porch, playing some sort of handheld device before bedtime. Kosmo was beside the kid, protective while curled up at his feet and sleeping.

Having the wolf around, sensing anything off, made Keith feel a little better.

And just a bit crazy.

“Thysala has been going off the charts, unlike anything we’ve ever seen. We haven’t been able to approach the planet at all since a few days ago.”

Keith nodded, asking them to continue on.

“Our communicators and signals all went off line, a while ago. It felt like a power surge, and when they came back on, we noticed on our map that Thysala’s power was growing.” Kolivan explained.

Krolia took a seat next to him, fingers folded over each other.

“We sent in troops, but lost all contact once they reached the area.”

Keith gulped. The last time he was there, he ended up in a different universe, and that was only because of his wolf.

His thrusters broke down, all communication and power had cut off.

“I’m assuming the men...?”

Kolivan nodded. “Missing in action.”

Krolia grabbed onto his hand, squeezing tightly. “We’ve lost too many recently, Keith. And with the outpost on Earth…”

“Take them,” Keith said, suddenly. “If anything happens, I can handle it. You need the troops out there. Not down here.”

“Keith,” Krolia said, shaking her head. “Good intention-” The signal was going static, waves of power interrupting the conversation. Kolivan didn’t seem to notice.

“Guys, hey.” Keith called. He slapped the communicator, hoping that’d help.

“We--- eve this----- be linked--”

“I’m sorry? Guys, you’re breaking up.”

“Keith, I-”

The power ran out and Keith was left in sudden darkness, a bitter cold surrounding him in layers. He felt the cold hands, the iced, elongated fingers grab at the skin of his arms as the power flickered.

A hand wrapped around his mouth just before he could scream.

The power and the energy together stole Keith of his voice.

He couldn’t move, frozen in his spot.

“Papa?!”

There was Lotor, standing at the door, looking so, _so_ scared.

Kosmo was growling, nails tearing at the floor as his fur spasmed liked a cat's tail, ready for a fight.

Keith made a noise, some sort of bodily jerk that whatever held him didn’t seem to like. A surge of emotion and energy swirled through Keith. He wanted to yell at Lotor to run, for Shiro or Kosmo to take him away.

The body loomed over him, whispering against the shell of his ear in cold breaths.

“Vrepit sa.”

Keith blacked out, the body behind knocking him unconscious as a rush of black mist grabbed for his falling body and Lotor.

* * *

  
Shiro was upstairs, humming as he typed up his hopeful final draft.

He sealed the deal a while ago, the publishing company he’d been published by before finally getting him to fork over the story he’s been writing of Voltron. He interviewed everyone on the team, got their own versions of the tale, things he missed out on or were hazy. He left out the majority of Lotor, for the sake of Keith, and because his editor wanted him to cut down the book from over five-hundred pages to three-hundred-fifty. So for that part, he only used his own memories of being in the black lion.

And besides, after Keith finally talked to Lotor, discussed why the protests were happening, a sequel could be made.

It had come together too easily, seamlessly.

It felt like it was meant to be.

He’d been playing music softly as he wrote, just a soft, relaxing playlist on Youtube of orchestrated soundtracks, knowing Keith was taking a private phone call with his parents about the Blades and the possibility of scouts.

So Shiro respected his privacy, leaving him alone for the evening. Keith had been on edge, panicked for a while. And Shiro knew when to step in and when to step away.

Tonight was one of those nights to step away.

It wasn’t until he heard growling and barking that Shiro turned off the music.

“Kosmo?” He called out.

At the sound, it seemed like Kosmo was going nuts below, howling ballistically.

“Keith!? What’s going on with Kosmo?” Shiro tried to call again.

Shiro heard nothing back. It was completely silent.

So Shiro closed his computer and walked downstairs where Kosmo was on the floor, nails embedded and scrapping at the wood panels.

The wolf was keening.

It shocked Shiro to see all the lights were all off, and it seemed like the power had gone out as all the digital clocks were flashing. They weren’t even stalled or blinking, the numbers were just running their course, switching through every combination of four possibilities every second.

All the lights were on upstairs, unaffected.

“What the-” the moment Shiro touched down with his bare feet, he felt a shock of cold rise through him from the floor.

He felt the presence that had just been there, only moments before.

Shiro stopped in his tracks.

“Keith?!” He cried out. “Lotor?!”

Kosmo whined hysterically at the names. He was bouncing on a certain part of the floor, like he was trying to get underneath, burrowing.

Shiro ran, noticing the dropped communicator on the floor, broken bits, still with what looked to be dry ice. Shiro touched it, and he heard her voice. He was thrown between realms momentarily, landing back in the house as her laugh echoed in his ears.

She was back.

Haggar was back.

And she had Lotor and Keith.

Shiro grabbed onto a tuft of Kosmo’s fur, forcing himself into a standing position with gritted teeth.

“C’mon, Kosmo.” Shiro commanded. “To Altea.”

Kosmo stilled, eyes staring into Shiro’s soul. The wolf didn't even question it.

To Altea.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiatus probably happening next week. The next chapters aren't quite finished. Cross your fingers for me please.

_“You are so precious to me,_

_Cute as can be, baby of mine._

_Baby mine, Baby mine.” -_ Dumbo

Keith woke up, for once, not to the smell of antiseptic after being hurt.

He’d much prefer that now, to be quite honest.

He was in a cold, metal cell, with a hard door sealing his fate. Keith moved to get up, but instantly heard the sound of chains rattling. He then noticed how heavy his ankles felt, his body bolted to the wall.

It seemed long enough to walk around, move to the door, they were kind enough to offer him that freedom.

On the door seemed to be a little latch, for food he presumed.

Shuttering, Keith moved himself up, forcing himself to lay against the far wall. Something wasn’t quite right, his body lacking energy, already in obvious pain. Keith could see his breath as he hissed at a sharpness from his neck. Reaching up, he felt a tiny piercing, aggravating his skin.

From a syringe he assumed.

Looking down, he recognized the cloth he wore, untattered. It was the Galran rags, the ones he found Shiro imprisoned in, so many years back.

He checked over his body, and besides his pounding head and cold body, he was otherwise alright.

Which led him to his next major concern.

He was taken, with Lotor.

By Zarkon.

And Haggar.

_Shit._

* * *

  
“Lance! Lance!” Shiro called, slamming open the doorway to Lance’s house. “LANCE!”  
  
He saw a bundle of movement move from the couch, arms swinging as the body fell off and landed fitfully on the floor, the sound of a loud thud shaking the house.  
  
Next he heard the sound of footsteps, running down the stairs, a frazzled Lance standing at the railing.  
  
“What?! What?!! Who died?” He yelled.  
  
“Yeah, man, c’mon!” Hunk said, trying to uncurl his blanket that he was trapped under on the floor. “I was having a beautiful, wonderful, warm dream where I was on _The Universes Top Chef_ and-”  
  
“Hunk, not now.”

The two stared at Shiro, Kosmo behind him, tall and growling.  
  
“Shiro-” Hunk started, Lance’s eyebrows coming together as Pidge trotted down the stairs, yawning and rubbing at her eyes.  
  
“Where’s Keith.”  
  
Shiro moved further into the living space, looking at the old paladins.  
  
“Everyone get dressed, we need to leave immediately.”  
  
“What? Shiro-”

“Lance, get a hold of Coran and Romelle, tell them to meet us at the Garrison. Pidge? Contact Iverson, along with your Parents. Hunk, I need you to get in touch with the Blades, the Olkari, and any other confirmed foreign alliance we know of; tell them to send armies.”  
  
“Shiro, what’s going on?!” Pidge asked, now suddenly awake. She must have been grading papers, if the ink marks on her face were any clue to go by.  
  
“Meet us at the Garrison Coordinations Room, Z-2 in T-15 minutes.”

“Shiro!”

Zarkon and Haggar have returned, and they have Keith and Lotor.”

Everyone gasped, eyes wide and fearful. Breathing in, Shiro turned, grabbing onto Kosmo’s fur, his own eyes angry and furious.

He held himself upright, tension and rage swelling in his bones.  
  
“We’re going to get them back. _Now_ .”

* * *

  
Keith heard the noises down the hall. He heard the heavy footsteps, the feeling of terrifying dark, collapsing magic before he saw them.

Recognizable claws opened the door.

Keith shuffled further into his corner.

He had no weapons. He hadn’t eaten since being taken, having only been given water to weaken him.  
  
Whatever was in the syringe, it was making his mind fuzzy, easy to enter. He could hear voices, faintly, in the distance

They weren’t real, or at least real in the physical sense of the word.

Zarkon entered with a sadistic smile, approaching Keith as a Cheetah would a wounded Antelope. It was too easy.

He stepped forward once a beat, slowly. It made Keith gulp, try to move back even further. Each loud thunk of his metal boots shook his cell.  
  
Keith had never seen that look on his own Zarkon before.

This one was, somehow, farther gone, more mad, more crazed. He seemed to take pleasure in his power, in his abuse, where the other one only wanted to achieve his goal by any means necessary.

This one was more taunting. Cruel. He enjoyed the pleasure of a lengthened death.

Zarkon stood now, tall over Keith. Suddenly and without a sound, he lifted his foot, slamming his foot down onto Keith. He cried out, trying to move out of the way from further pain.

“So this is the pathetic weakling who kidnapped my son during his first training session.”  
  
Keith sneered.

There were druids behind them.

Zarkon smile grew even wider. “We have questions for you.”

Keith eyed the druids, power glowing from their hands. He looked back to Zarkon.  
  
“And usually we play fair, we give you the option. Give up the information easily, or the hard way. You, however, don’t get the option.”

Zarkon loomed in closer, face inches away from Keith. Keith could feel his heated breath.

“There would be no fun in that, you, who yields such treasonous nature against the true heir of the Throne.” Zarkon moved back, arms falling behind his back.

“Have fun. Don’t kill him. Only get the information.” Zarkon moved out of the way, watching as the druids unchained Keith, holding down.

The beaked masks stared down at him, frightening him.

A clawed hand lifted over his head, and Keith was hushed.

“This will only hurt a little.” It promised, too much like a lie.

And Keith tightened his fists, crying as the magic forced itself into his head. The voices from the distance came speeding towards him, yelling, swarming and surrounding him. It felt like massive bodies, holding him down and screaming into his ears.  
  
Memories started to unfold before Keith’s eyes.

Images of Lotor, changing him, unwrapping presents with him, playing with him, Shiro; Lance at the waterfall, Allura smiling; Coran winning the Yelmor championship. He felt pain.

Voltron. Lions. It hurt. His Mom. His Dad.  
  
_His Dad._

The funeral; the tree Keith stared at in the distance the moment they started to ease the bodiless coffin down into the ground. It had been to hard to watch for the eleven year old.

He was alone again. Crying. He was pacing through desert, staring at the sky, screaming for a name who’d long left, was said to be dead.

_Pilot error._

A kiss, placed to his cheek, so young and little Keith didn’t even remember it, only knew it happened. It blurred.

It hurt. They were searching his memories, forcing everything painful and bare to the forefront of his mind. Keith screamed, willing them to stop.

God, please. _Stop!_

His head felt like mush, and Keith felt himself get sick on the floor.

The next thing he knew he was tossed back into his corner, after the druids powers seemed to fall through the cracks, finding nothing. It didn’t work.

Keith barely opened his eyes, saw the powerful Galra soldiers standing over him. It seemed like the physical torture was about to commence.

Keith winced as clawed hands bore down on him.

* * *

  
Shiro stood in the middle of the Garrison meeting room no less than twenty minutes later.   
  
It’d been so long since he stood here, speaking out.

The Paladins sat around, along with the MFE pilots, Iverson, and the Holts.

Anyone important who needed to be here was, otherwise, once the plan was made, they would signal the emergency of another attack on Earth, send messages through the galaxies. They needed to form an army and quickly. Olkari and the Blades had already been sent their messages, and were already flying out.  
Everyone moved quickly the minute they heard the words: Zarkon was back.

“We believe the scouts have abducted Keith and Lotor.” Shiro began, eyes scanning the room. “We need resources, we need numbers, we need power. We need these things as fast as humanly possible in order to save both Keith and Lotor, and to have the Universe ally themselves with us. We need a plan, or else no one will be working with us which is unacceptable under the circumstances.”

“Any idea of who exactly we’re going after, and where?” Veronica called out. She had a notebook in front of her, scribbling away information as Shiro spoke, Acxa beside her with a look of concerned.  
She seemed to already know what Shiro was going to say.

“It’s Zarkon and Honerva. I know that the energy I felt was familiar, back when they were taken in our home, but it’s Zarkon and Honerva from another Universe. They’ve come to take back Lotor.”

James Griffin tensed in his seat. “So the protesters were right all along, there was a reason to fear the union of Keith and the kid.”

“We hadn’t known that at the time.” Sam Holt argued back immediately. “For all intents and purposes, we believed the child was abandoned.”

“And it wasn’t until much later that we realized who the child was.” Shiro said. “We couldn’t take the kid away. It’d be cruel.” He turned to the old paladins, sitting side by side, desperate. “We know how Lotor ended in this realm.”

They shivered, remembering his melted corpse from Honerva’s memories.

“This one has a chance to do something great, live a good, honest, happy life that he never got to experience here. If we let Lotor end up with Zarkon and Honerva, that will only create a further circle of abuse and anger. That little boy we’ve all come to love will _die_. And we all know it.”

Lance visibly gulped, and Hunk stood.

“I’m in.” He said.

Pidge joined too, holding his hand. “I am too.”

Sam smiled, almost sadly, a little afraid.

“I had a feeling you would. Do you folk still have your paladin suits? From the old days? You might need them.”

Lance blinked, joining his team alongside Shiro.

“Why would we need our suits? Where are we even going?!”

Sam pulled up images on the screen, showing data tracking Keith’s old transmissions, his previous investigations of Thysala’s moon.

“The rift in their realm never closed. Allura’s power never reached that far. And when Honerva destroyed all those realities in between, it opened a blank, easily transmissible canvas. When Zarkon and Honerva began using their own power, mirroring our reality, something split, broke up the fabric of the timelines. The rift became a powerful portal between realities once again. The only reason why they haven’t made entrance before this is because Allura’s magic is still incredibly powerful, holding the rift at bay, and they must not have enough quintessence built up to fully pull through yet..”

“But they were able to get through now.” Shiro stated.

“It appears so. My assumption? The Universe is changing, and the Princess’ spell is weakening.”

“Hey!” Lance yelled. “Allura and Honerva’s magic must still be working! There has been peace, no issues since Keith traveled through accidentally the first time! They-” Lance looked around the room in disbelief, eyes large and begging. “They couldn’t have passed for nothing… right?”

Pidge shook her head.

“I don’t think they passed on, Lance.” She said quietly. “You’ve felt them, haven’t you?”

Hunk smiled, tightening his hand against hers, nodding. “The lions.”

“They’re returning.”

Lance heard a roar.

* * *

  
Hours later, chained and beaten and forgetting, Keith was dragged into a cold and crisp throne room, tossed to Zarkon’s feet. He could barely breathe.

Lotor was there, beside the throne, eyes wide and scared. He almost called out for his Papa, but noticed Zarkon’s expression. He was being held by a different nanny from the one Keith had heard about, forcing the child on his knees.

Keith could see the salt underneath, burning the skin.

“You were so difficult to track.” Zarkon commenced, claws gripping against his chair’s arms. His claws scrapped over the metal. They left indents.

Scars.

“Kidnapping the rightful heir of Daibazaal, right from under our nose; our own son. Such treason must be punished.”

Lotro looked inquisitive by the words, understanding their meaning. He watched Keith’s expression, watching the scene unfold. Keith had never told him about his royal beginnings...

“I saved him.” Keith coughed, receiving yet another punch to the face.

Keith assumed he must look fantastic.

“Papa!”

Zarkon snapped his fingers, and Lotor was shoved face first into the ground.

“Say anything else, and _my_ son will take the brunt of it. Understood, Mutt?”

Keith rolled his eyes, considering Lotor was technically a ‘mutt’ too, going by Zarkon’s fucking logic. Keith didn’t speak, something Zarkon seemed to like.

“What I want to know is: _how_ . A Paladin, a Paladin of the Black Lion, from another dimension. Voltron was destroyed with everything else decaphoebes ago.”

Keith stayed quiet, listening intently to the oncoming monologue.

“ _I_ destroyed it decaphoebes ago…” Zarkon turned a sharpened claw towards Keith. “You may speak now, Mutt.”

Keith took a sharp breath. “So, the lions, they’re gone?”

Zarkon nodded. “Burnt, destroyed, ripped and torn apart, tortured and killed in every possible way of the word.”

Keith’s heart stopped, the images of Red’s arms being torn away from her body, of Blue being impaled, again and again and again, her paladin still inside when alien like birds flew down from above, eating at the corpse.

Yellow and Green, found in hiding, thrown into a pit of lava, Zarkon watching as they melted, unable to get away.

And Black-

Their Black, still alive, just barely, only her head remaining. Keith could see through her eyes, down below-

She had held on, just to show Keith their history.

Keith almost became sick, feeling everything they had-

“The great power, as you know as the rift. Or Thysala’s moon. You’ve been investigating it.”

Keith was breathing hard from the income of Black’s memories rushing at him. He cried out, holding onto his temples, grabbing at his hair as he fell to his knees, his elbows.

God, make it stop!

Zarkon stepped closer to Keith, whamming his scythe against Keith’s ribs.

“You’ve been investigating it, have you not?!”

“Yes!” Keith cried out.

“And you got through the opened portal of the rift, the one we first created, on the date you know as November 9th, three years ago, did you not?!”

The rift? The rift had reopened?! In everything that was happening as another round of punches landed on Keith, had he heard that right?

“Is it opened?” He gasped, fingers loosening from his hair.

“You’re surprised. It was never closed.” Zarkon smiled widely. “So you must know, we’ve altered it’s quintessence, were able to make a portal between realities. Destroy and take all the quintessence, live forever, rule for longer. Until reality itself falls apart, just as it should.”

“Taking life as we know it with it.” The witch spoke, voice as cold as ice.

“You may speak now, Mutt.”

Keith spit blood. “But Allura-! She closed the rift. How?!” He coughed again. He realized, slowly, Honerva was sucking out any energy he had through the floor. He watched it flow from him in black streams towards her.

He growled, more blood tainting the floor.

“I’m sure you must understand, Mutt. Two little Alteans cannot completely save every Universe. It doesn’t work that way.There’s always going to be at least one they missed.”

“So the rift has always been open there? It never shut?”

“For as long as I’ve known it to be.” Zarkon purred. He moved from his chair, Haggar following closely behind.

“We could be the greatest thing every Universe has ever seen, taking every power for ourselves.”

“We’d become unstoppable.” Haggar spoke beneath her cloak. “Put the Universe back to what it wishes to be: Nothingness.”

“And how-! How do you know that’s what it wants?!”

“The rift told us, has told us in every reality. Some we remembered, most we didn’t, like yours. Our other selves forgot their true cause.”

“And you,” Zarkon turned to Keith. “Almost stole what was holy pure from us. Created by the power of the rift, what was meant to see our eventuality through!”

“He wasn’t created by power or purity! He was created by two blood-lusted zombies-” Keith was slammed into again, body flying from the hit. Zarkon stalked over to his quivering body, edging the butt of his scythe into his jaw. He cut Keith’s skin.

“You look prettier when you bleed.” He murmured, and Keith shivered, reminded of Meidax’s predatory gaze.

His eyes were too much like Zarkon's, always having enjoyed staring down at Keith.

“Our rift tore apart Universes, seeming to stop at yours. But your world. It had already been stopped before. The Universes knew that. It was obvious, when we tried to go through the timelines, that your Princess’ powers were still intact. It was why, we could only send in one recruit every few months, with our limited supplies and quintessence, until we could find a better source.”

“We had believed Meidax, our best scout, had died going through. We were never able to reach further communication.”

“We later learned otherwise.”

“We Galra believe in life or death. And you’ve taken one of our own.”

“So, now we shall take one of your own.”

They turned to Lotor, Zarkon raising his scythe.

“Dexcriy?” The Galra holding Lotor down raised a fist over his face. “Commence-”

“NO!!!” Keith screamed. “Don’t hurt him! Please! Take me! I beg you, just please!” He was trying to shuffle forward as best he could, his shoulders getting caught on his own hair. “PLEASE! Don’t hurt him!”

Zarkon smiled, and Keith knew he just fell into their trap.

“Very well.” Haggar said, ball of quintessence being formed. “Here’s your punishment.”

“Papa- NO!”

Keith screamed as everything developed around him, breaking into him, rupturing his mind to falling pieces, so fractured Keith could never place them back together. It took everything away, his emotions, his feelings, and he continued to scream, tearing his throat apart until pain was all that he knew.

* * *

  
He heard something, faintly in the distance. He- he could barely put his finger on it, the familiar sound.

They felt so far away.

Keith felt so far away. Yet he still knew his name. That must mean something, surely.

So cold. So completely empty and cold.

He shivered.

He was confused.

“Papa?!” He heard a faint whispering down the hall, little footsteps running about. “Papa?!”

Keith could barely lift open an eye. But he recognized that voice, didn’t he? Or did he not.

But at the sounds of the ‘Papa’, something stirred inside Keith.  
  
“Papa?!” The voice sounded panicked, and instinct fell over keith.

“L-Lotor?” Keith rasped, not knowing how he knew the sounds he made meant. He was blinking his eyes fully awake against his better judgement, and even though it was dark, everything hurt. Still somehow to bright.

He didn’t recognize anything, but he knew that sound, that name. He had blank images of what had once been there, passing through his mind.

Keith didn’t know, but his instincts told him to trust it and go towards the voice.

He’d been sleeping for much too long. And his breaths were harsh, his skin dry and pale. Keith was dying; he realized that now.

“Lotor?!” He was so parched, his throat swollen from yelling, it was painful to talk. Every movement felt like his bones were close to breaking apart.

Perhaps they were.

“Papa!” He heard the child say, closing in on his door.

Lotor knocked, once, twice. “Papa, Papa. Is it really you this time!?” He sounded frantic, like he was crying.

And Keith’s heart stopped, memories slowly coming back in fractured pieces, like a photograph that had been burnt, not coherent or contingent, but almost comprehensible.

God what had they done to him?

To both of them.

“Yeah,” Keith choked out. “It’s me.” He found the will to move from his position, tucked against the furthest corner straight to the door, curling against it. He crawled pathetically over to where the child stood.

“Papa, I got out of my chambers, and I- I can can get you out! We can go home, and I- I just need to find the key, and- and-”

The chains against his foot rattled as he crawled. He felt sick at the movement. But, he needed to see Lotor.

“Papa?”

Laying on the ground, hand holding the metal, Keith pressed his ear against it, struggling to breath.

“Lotor,” He said out loud. “Are you okay.”

“Papa. I- I…”

“It’s going to be okay. We- our friends will save us. I know it.” Keith had hope as he coughed against the door, chains rattling.

“Papa-”

“I’m fine.” Keith said quickly. “I’m fine. Lotor.” His chest was collapsing against itself. Keith held on tightly.

“Lotor you need to go. You can get out of here. I know you-”

“Not without you.” Keith felt Lotor press himself against the door, crying as he banged his little hands against it. “I won’t leave without you… Even if they find me, no matter how much they hurt me! I won’t.”

That brought Keith’s attention. “Lotor- H-hurt you? Have they been hurting you?!”

Lotor sniffled, and finally replied with a chaste, “yeah…”

“Fuck.” Keith gritted out. He pulled his ankles against the chains, pushing himself forward upward... If he just tried a little harder- maybe-

The metal dug into his skin, tearing into it.

Keith felt himself bleed more as he fell forward, landing harshly against the door. It made a noise, and he knew someone would be coming any minute to check it out.

“Lotor, please. You need to go. Please!” Keith was begging, just as much as the day he first found Lotor. Begging the Universe, himself, any higher being who’d listen.

He saw Lotor open the unused food latch, fingertips feeling the metal.

Keith lifted himself upwards, huddling as much as he could against the doorway.

The latch was too high for Lotor, but he tried. Keith caught onto it, forcing his hand out.

Lotor’s gentle fingers immediately latched on.

“Papa!"

Keith couldn’t see him, and instead brought his other hand up too. He held onto the open latch, keeping himself up right as he was able to slide the other hand through more. Only his bicep and not an inch more could be seen on the opposite end.  
  
Keith felt as small hands grabbed onto him, hugging as much as much as the small child could. Lotor’s head nuzzled just under Keith’s bent elbow, perched over the metal latch.

Keith, as awkward as it was, hugged back as much as he could, his face squished into the harsh metal.

This was his son. His flesh and blood.

And Lotor knew it was his Papa.

Keith felt himself breath, the first air of relief invading him. It felt peaceful. The sounds quieted, and the pain seemed to ease.

His son was in his arms, and it felt like Haggar’s energy was no longer attacking him, seemed to be blocked, just by this. Some sort of shield, helping Keith.

Lotor was crying, Keith feeling the little boy shake in his arms. He must be standing on his very tiptoes, Keith thought with a tearful snort. What a sight they made.

They didn’t let the other go, just held on in a sort of hug, Keith swinging Lotor as gently as he could in his hold.  
  
But too much time passed, and Keith became concerned.

“Lotor,” Keith whispered with a faint rasp, his arms growing tired and numb. “You have to go.”

He could feel an energy. Frazzled. Looking for something.

It didn’t feel dark, though, but it left Keith unsure.

Fearful.

“Please. Go.”

Lotor tightened his grip, tensing.

“Okay.” He whispered. Keith let him down, their fingertips holding onto each other until the last second. Keith felt it as Lotor dropped away, the rush of energy coming back.

Keith collapsed fully against the doorway, pain seeping back into his bones.

“Go, Lotor. Please.” Keith begged. His arm remained outwards, and he heard a crash from down the hall. Lotor gasped, and Keith heard him run away.

Keith stayed where he was, with his one arm hanging out. He couldn’t feel it as he sobbed, wishing his son was still in his arms.

The cold latched onto him and Keith screamed out, those long fingers embedding into his skin. Keith hissed as he was tugged upwards through the latch, face smashed against the door once again.

“Where is he?!” She screamed, a terrifying chill running down his back.

“I don’t know!”

And even if he did, did she think he’d actually tell her?!

He felt the hands drop off and suddenly she was behind him, nails digging into his neck.

Keith groaned, his limbs tapping out of all his energy. He was dizzy, the room was spinning, realizing slowly she was draining him of quintessence.

She was stealing his energy.

She moved back, letting him drop down, a dead weight on the floor as he coughed.

He tasted blood.

“You’re a consistent energy source.” She purred. “I drain you, and you recharge. A little slower, but you’ve always regain what you lost. Incredible being.” She hummed.

“How lucky I am, to have had you find my son.”  
  
“He’s not your son.” Keith coughed, trying to move. Trying to sit up. Anything.

He was out of luck.

“He’s more my son than yours.”

“Only by blood!” Keith swore he felt something tear inside himself, Haggar’s magic releasing and punishing him for the outspoken words.  Keith grit his teeth and continued. “He doesn’t see you as his family. He never has and never will!” He watched her form a ball of black energy, seeing the sparks zap at her fingertips.

A brush of power hit him in his face as she released the orb, and Keith was screaming. It felt as though his skin was melting off, his hair falling to bits and break like his bones. He could feel every like skin cell, tearing apart, fracturing. Killing themselves.

It hurt. It hurt so much-

Something rumbled.

The floor, beneath Keith’s hands, it felt like a purr. A call, letting him know that they’d come.

Help.

Help was here.

Keith passed out immediately, just as something slammed into Zarkon’s ship.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate that the lions left, and that Allura- it sickens me, honestly, it’s so sad. Horrible writing. I’d much rather them have sacrificed Voltron than Allura, instead of what we got with them killing Allura off and keeping the Lions only for the Lions to then leave. I-  
> Anyways here’s my redemption arc of THAT storyline.
> 
> *also might be going on another hiatus next week. I havent had a day off in four weeks and im struggling with writing which is obvious here, the writing isn't as good and seems kinda forced or simple, not too happy but i needed to update/its badly editted, I may do a redo of editing once the fic is finished, and I'm getting to the point of this fic that I HAVENT written yet (so chapter count may increase slightly, we shall see)  
> enjoy

“ _Dad? Dad, come on. You gotta get up... Dad, we gotta go home."_ The Lion King

The lions set down on Garrison grounds, everyone and their uncles running out to see them.

The return of the lions would be on all the News channels the next day, spread wide across the Universe in their need to get their lost paladin back.  
  
Hours had past already, too much time had occurred. Every second was a waste of time in Shiro's frantic mind.  
  
The lions landed gracefully, eyes rimmed with light and power.

Black dropped in front of Shiro, Green in front of Pidge, Yellow in front of Hunk, Red to Lance.

Blue landed behind all of them, power imminent. They all felt her pull, the missing person between them all too obvious.

Shiro watched as Lance stared towards to his old lion, where his old heart lied.

His hair was going wild from the wind, obscuring his view and Lance-

Lance wasn’t there anymore, look of torment pressed against his features.

“Guys, c’mon! We have to go save Keith!”

Shiro tugged against Lance’s arm, bringing him back to the present. “Lance.”

Lance stalled, unable to form words.

“It… feels like she’s _here_.” He whispered, and Shiro pulled him in his arms. “I feel her too, but we need to remain focused.”  
  
“But-”

“Lance, _please_. We can’t lose another one of us.”  
  
Lance looked discouraged but pushed himself away, eyes more clear now with a singular goal in mind: save Keith.

Blue roared, and the lions bent down, nudging at their Paladins.   
  
They couldn't leave just yet, there was still too much to figure out.

Shiro moved anyways, staring at Black in confusion as her eyes lit up in recognition.

He wasn’t her Paladin anymore, but so much like Keith all those years ago, the Black Paladin was in danger. And someone needed to fly her after all this time. She wasn’t like Red, she couldn’t travel over a vast distance to retrieve her injured leader.

Shiro could feel her anxiety humming underneath his fingertips as he pressed his hand against the deteriorating metal.

“Welcome home, Black.”

He was about enter her cockpit when Sam Holt came running behind, a smile on his face.

“I think we’d be stronger, Shiro, if we had another helping hand.”

He turned to Sam, a question on the tip of his tongue.  
  
Sam lifted out the old crystal with a smile. “Atlas.”

* * *

 

It took almost a full quintant to round up everyone as an army for Earth. The MFE’s, Galaxy Garrison patrols within the Atlas, Matt’s old rebel crews, an army of Olkari and the uninjured, remaining Blades all came forward. They followed the Paladins without asking, met up on Earth or could meet later at the location of battle.

The lions seemed to know where to go, something calling their attention. It was as powerful as it was worrisome.

The palpable fear everyone held drew throughout the room. It was the only thing Shiro could feel, tension thick in his veins. His mind was reeling, having trouble focusing on guiding Atlas and the Black Lion, both forces trying to become the dominating factor within his mind.  
  
And alongside the two veering robots, the energy coming from Thysala was even more damaging.

The closer the team got to the rift, to Thysala, the more agitated Black became. She was hardly listening to Shiro’s controls, only wanting to get to Keith.

Shiro quickly understood it for what it was.  
  
He moved the thrusters forward, Atlas luckily following along just on his tail. He was moving to speed up when Pidge made an announcement over the comms.

“Guys, I know this is going to sound wrong, but this has to be a trap.”  
  
“And for what?!” Lance exacerbated. “He already has Keith and the kid, what else could he want before they go back to their reality!?”  
  
“Oh, I don’t know, Lance, maybe the lions?! Ever think of that?! Maybe he knows they weren’t destroyed here. Who knows what happened in that other reality. Maybe we weren't successful. Maybe it wasn't even us. Maybe they want to right their past wrongs!”

“Even if it is a trap, we can’t fall back now, or else we risk losing Keith. We have an army, we knew what we were getting into when we left.” Shiro stated, feeling a sweat drop down his forehead.  
  
Black was getting too anxious.  
  
They rounded the corner of Thysala, could see the moon.  
  
Or where the moon once stood.  
  
Now, there was only green and black light in its place, energy expanding and glowing and cracking like lightning. It was long and an obvious opening like a wormhole, but longer in length then height.

It was growing close to the planet, and just in the middle, Zarkon’s ship could be seen, simply waiting.  
  
The rift opened like a jeans seams tearing apart, thread by singular thread. White could be seen behind the moving pieces of black energy. It swirled around the ship, keeping it behind a shallow line of defence.  
  
The ship turned slowly towards them, an alarm sounding across Space, so loud Shiro latched to cover his ears, eyes watering from the ringing.  
  
They had been spotted.

Shiro, pressing his hands against his ears as best he could, opened the communication ways to everyone in their current militia, awaiting orders behind the lions.  
  
“Everyone! They know we’ve arrived. And I know this looks intimidating, but we’ve already defeated two crazed Emperors. We can do it again. These ones are weak, alone without an army; I believed in us last time, and I have faith we can defeat them again. Whatever happens, Voltron and Earth and the Universe thanks you.”  
  
He didn’t know who’d make it out alive.  
  
“Pidge, have you got the Ship’s blueprints yet?”  
  
“Downloading now, and it looks like there are three entrances. One from below, where their hovercrafts are stationed. The entrance, the obvious and most unusable one. And there seems to be a door from a patio like entrance, on the top left side, leading to the housing quarters.”  
  
“And personnel?”  
  
“Not many, Shiro. There’s robots and imperial guards stationed at each entrance, they don’t seem to be moving; the majority seem to be in a middle room.”  
  
“A middle room?”  
  
“Yeah, there’s just a group there. They… look like they’re standing in a circle, above someone who's just lying- Shiro...”  
  
“They know we’re here, so they brought Keith to their highest defence. We need to get to that room.”  
  
Pidge sent him coordinates and the live map, and Shiro could see the bodies through the heatwaves. And she was correct, there were so many, lined up and waiting for them in the throne room.  
  
Shiro then looked at the ship, quickly deciding a plan of attack.  
  
He made quick mental notes, nodding his head before he spoke.  
  
“Atlas, you take over the right quadron. MFE’s, I want you take take the castle from above, and get inside, I have a feeling they’ll start releasing crafts. Olkari and the rebels, stick with the MFE’s, keep the ships at a distance. Blades, once the MFE’s open up the entrance to the housing quarters, get inside.”  
  
“And us, Shiro?” Lance asked.  
  
“We’ll be going in through the bottom entrance. I don’t know what’s there, but Black is desperate to get to it.”  
  
“Maybe it’s Lotor?”  
  
Shiro shook his head. “Somehow I doubt it.”  
  
The rift opened completely, an army slowly filing through.  
  
“They’re coming Shiro! We have to move now!”  
  
‘Everyone, you know your positions. Go, now!”

The armies flew ahead of them, blocking the oncoming ships from attacking the Lions. They kept them safeguarded as the Paladins approached the castle.  
  
“Pidge, do you have a reading on how many ships are coming through?”  
  
“No, I-”  
  
“We’re looking close to 1,000, Shiro.” Matt answered instead, his own craft steadily taking down the enemies just in front of Atlas.  
  
“We have 500 on our side. Think we can take em’, Cap?”

Shiro grinned, eyes turning towards the crystal in his hand, a quickly made little pouch kept it attached to his arm. It didn't work as well not being physically on Shiro's being, it was like there was a wall between communication, but it worked, miraculously, well enough.  
  
“Always.”

He commanded Atlas forward, the crew inside ready and instinctual. She placed herself as a guard to the flying lions as the MFE’s, Olkari and the Blades began to fly above.  
  
Atlas, using only her arms, struck down ship after ship, explosions making it difficult to fly through. But debris was easier to maneuver around than deathly rays from the enemies.  
  
She tooks hits, flew in front of any lions that needed the protection.

Shiro saw a wave of attacks from above Pidge, Atlas rushing from her spot from Hunk to Pidge, her speed comparable to Red’s own.  
  
And before they knew it, they were underneath the large castle ship, Pidge spotting and pointing out the entrance.  
  
“Two minutes until landing.”  
  
“Shiro-” Krolia’s voice rang through in cracks, her communication and the blades specifically weakened from the energy.  
  
“There’s--- ore”  
  
“Shiro! We have trouble up here!”  
  
Activating Atlas, Shiro let her go, the lions now within a controllable space underneath the ship and out of sight of the rift. It’d take minutes for any incoming ships to breach their zone.  
  
“Sam, Iverson. I’m letting Atlas go. I trust you to ensure everyone’s safety while we take hold of the castle.”

There seemed to be a moment of hesitation, of hustling while the Atlas crew reached their stations.  
  
“Be careful, Shiro.” Sam said before they released and took off from above.  
  
Atlas was out of sight within seconds.  
  
“Approaching entry.”  
  
“Shiro, the lions won’t fit!”  
  
Black seemed to purr, the lions all together reassuring their Paladins.  
  
“... What are they doing?”  
  
"Shiro-!"  
  
Shiro felt the vibrations, knew what they meant. His entire being tensed. “Oh no.”  
  
Suddenly all the Paladins were ejected into space, the Lions catapulting them towards the empty entrance way. They flew inside, not even by their own merit. They landed on a heap on the grounded, gravity suddenly kicking in.

It was a harsh landing, Lance groaning loudly as he positioned himself on all fours.  
  
“What are they-?” The four barely had time to look back, see Blue in the middle of the pact. She oversaw their safety before roaring viciously, her power lighting up and blue crystals of space dust flickering from her mechanical joints. She flew away, the lions joining her and all of a sudden  the Paladins were shrouded in darkness, something pressed stiffly against the entrance.  
  
All their communications shut off.

They were alone.  
  
“Did they just leave us?! How’re we supposed to escape?!”

“I don’t-”  
  
“No, they didn’t.” Hunk calmed. “No, Yellow, I can feel him. He’s reassuring us. They’re keeping the entrance way guarded. They’re keeping us safe!”

“Yellow must be the one blocking the entrance if he’s still communicating with you.” Pidge said, getting up. They all saw her activate her holograph computer, looking over the castle’s plans.  
  
For now, the green transparency of the holograph was all the light they could see.  
  
“It’s… odd.” She spoke, her whisper echoing down the darkened, unlit chamber.  
  
“What is?”

“I thought this was the entrance to their cargo, to all their hovercrafts, but…”  
  
The hall seemed empty. If there was wind in space, Shiro would be certain he could hear it passing through the large tunnels.  
  
“The launchbase is above us.”

“What?”

“The lions, they got us in a different entrance.”  
  
“Where are we then?”

They all turned, looking towards the blackness. Their eyes weren’t adjusting. It was an unnatural source or darkness.  
  
They felt a similar vibration on the ground, something celestial calling out.  
  
“I think," Shiro started, moving forward carefully, "whatever Black wanted us to see, it’s in here.”  
  
The vibration only became stronger at the sound of Shiro’s echoing voice.

Together they walked steadily, hand in hand, trying not to trip over the uneven flooring. The walls and ceiling were high, even Shiro could tell that without his ability to see. He could feel the height of the room, the large space it held.  
  
They grew closer to whatever it was that was calling for them, that helped bring them all here.

The floor suddenly stopped and dropped below them, Lance almost falling into a deep pit. 

They grabbed his arms, pulled him back, a rock falling instead of his foot as he cried out, falling backwards onto his ass.  
  
“What the-”  
  
They stepped back, Shiro going to his knees as he felt around the ground. His hands grazed the edge that sunk below, Shiro unable to tell how far the dip went. It seemed to go down at an angle, Shiro noted, as he felt as far as he could before falling; whatever the pit was, it was likened more to a bowl than a wall that shot straight down.  
  
Shiro moved backwards, sitting on his heels.

“Pidge, how much battery do you have left on your holograph?”

“30%.”

“Is that enough to still get us to the top, if we used it’s flashlight?”

“I can also use my blaster, send a shot down below to see where this goes?” Lance said.  
  
“Yeah, mine too!” Hunk agreed.  
  
Shiro was about to say something, felt Pidge's hands on his shoulder as he gathered himself off the floor, when the lacking vibrations started up again.  
  
Whatever it was, it was weak, rumbling as best as it could. It seemed satisfied through whatever connection it held.  
  
White lights flickered from the floor just down the way, and it moved, the floor shaking with it.  
  
A sudden beam of white, bright light struck the paladins in place, blinding them as the being came back to itself.  
  
Shiro, holding his hand in front of his eyes, slowly stepped away from its beam. He shuffled from the side, careful of the pit as he walked along the edge.  
  
Following the wall of light, there, in the middle, was the trapped head of the Black Lion, the other realities version. It was pressed down by chained links of metal, a dark source of power keeping it down.  
  
“Oh my god.” Shiro heard Pidge gasp.  
  
Shiro could feel the energy building towards him; they were familiar in a way none of the other Paladins were.  
  
In another realm, they had stayed each other’s Paladins, a sense of relief from this version of Black flooding through Shiro. At seeing him alive and well.

She knew he wasn’t her own, but seeing him there, it was the sole reason she had stayed fighting; she only stayed alive out of spite, in hopes to see Zarkon fall.  
  
This Black understood Zarkon's madness, had seen first hand when he destroyed all the other lions, including her lover.  
  
And here she was, when she tried to fight back, get away, had had the other version of Shiro with her.

Red had been pulled apart, piece by piece. Shiro’s lover trapped inside, feeling everything when he passed.  
  
This Black knew these Paladins still had a chance at a happy life. They didn’t need to suffer the same fate.  
  
She had seen, through visions from another Lion basked in celestial white, that this day would come. She knew she had to hold on, to help them when it came to pass. She had a mission to take care of.  
  
She sent all her thoughts in fitful waves to Shiro, which were extremely weak ans hard to grasp. She was barely alive and struggling.  
  
She thanked everything she could that after this, she didn’t have to hold on anymore. She could join the others soon, she just… needed to do this.  
  
From her vision, she showed Shiro the pathways, knew the halls of this castle better than anyone. There was no light, but she was the guiding figure.  
  
“She’s showing me where to go.” Shiro gasped, eyes shifting at a powerful rate as she mapped her way around his head.  
  
“She can get us to Keith. She’s been hanging on for this moment, wanted us to stop him.”  
  
“She’s dying?”

“She’s going to join the others soon, yes.”  
  
“What else is she saying?”

Black sent shapes, feelings more than words. There was a man in pain upstairs. They, the druids who killed her lover, the druids who kept her chained here, the witch herself, they kept him in a small room. Chained. He was losing himself.  
  
He was losing hope, and Black was there, always trying to calm him, even from so far away, even if they never had that link between them.  
  
He needed to stay alive, but he was losing the war.  
  
And Black didn’t like that.  
  
“Keith. It’s Keith, he’s in-”  
  
An explosion opened the entrance way, another bang shifting the ship from up top. Either Atlas just made impact, or the Galra were meeting with the rest of the MFE’s.  
  
“We need to leave.”  
  
“Shiro, should we just leave her here?” Pidge asked.  
  
Her eyes flashed twice, offering Shiro words of encouragement. This is where it needed to end for her. Black would be going nowhere.  
  
“She wishes to stay.””  
  
An explosion sounded outside, and Shiro could feel Hunk tense. "Yellow's being attacked. I-I'm losing connection!" He said in the background.  
  
Pidge's fingers only gripped his shoulder tighter. “But Shiro-”  
  
“She’s guiding us; she’s says we need to get upstairs immediately or else. We need to listen.”  
  
A round of Zarkon’s militia began to enter the basement, their heavy footfalls could be heard cracking against the concrete floors, echoing through the tunnels.  
  
Black kept her lights on them, blinding them.  
  
She showed Shiro the shape of a door, down the tunnel and right. It was a secret entrance, an easier passage to a room close enough to the throne room where everyone stood, waiting.  
  
“She’s showing us where to go. Pidge, close the map. Hold my hand, and be quiet.” They nodded, grabbing each others hands as they took off, rounding Black.  
  
They could hear shots being fired, felt when Black forced her mouth open, used her power to send a ray of eviscerating light. There were no more troops. They were alone once again as they ran up the tunnel. Shiro turned right when she called him to. Her soul was already flickering.  
  
Hunk opened the door and ran through. He grabbed a chest that was to the side, and forced it against the metal panels. No one would be getting in. Together, they ran up the circular stairwell, Black continuing to guide Shiro for as long as she could.

* * *

  
Keith choked on air. He could barely focus his vision, everything was moving too slowly and yet too quickly. He couldn’t keep up. He only saw colours; unidentified, shifting shapes swarming around him. Some brought pain. Others did nothing at all.

The ones who only stood, seemingly still, like now, were saying something. Maybe. Keith couldn’t grasp it. He wanted to. He wanted to so badly.

Memories and visions swept by. Keith reached out, trying to grab at flurry of it all, the memories slipping between his fingers.

When he caught them, they melted from his grasp, taking all he was with it.

_... A firemans jackets, hanging over the chair, the smell of ash and burnt skin still covered the fabric; a man, tall and kind, looking at Keith like he could do something great, was already something great; a family sitting together and laughing; there was a dash of red, then black, calling out to him, and he felt comforted; A child with white hair, saying goodnight to the moon. He held that child close, not wanting to forget/ He didn’t want to forget..._

He turned himself away from the world, empty and cold and alone. He curled in on himself, knowing something was lost, an empty space in his arms, around him.

He only knows they’re empty now.

* * *

  
They couldn’t run fast enough. The halls were empty, and if Shiro needed more evidence that Zarkon knew they were coming into their trap, this was it. They were expecting this. With nothing more standing in the way than a mere side door leading to the final battle, Shiro shoved the metal open, the Black Lions eyes going back to their own now that light was available. She slipped away from Shiro's mind, leaving a peaceful reassuring feeling in his tense shoulders, letting him know he'd be okay, that everyone would be okay.

Besides, she had one last thing to do before leaving this world.

The door scraped along the flooring, and near every eye turned to the sudden and new sound.

They were surrounded.

Haggar to one side of the throne, Lotor shoved into the ground on the other. Zarkon, almost in the forefront, was sitting in his chair and remained heavily guarded. He was surrounded protectively by his druids and bots.

Keith was shaking and pale, strewn across the steps.

His eyes were dimmed, no life left behind the once blazing irises. He was drooling, and it looked like he’d bit his tongue or lip, blood falling in increments too as he began to seize.

Shiro almost ran in, guns ahoy when Pidge grabbed his arm, holding him back.

He saw her in his fury shake her head.

They had to be smart here.

“I see you’ve all made it.” Zarkon announced, echoes of his voice flowing through the room.

Lance stepped forward, gun tilted and aim steady.

The druids lifted their hands, magic growing as they readied their defence.

“You planned on this.”

“What do you want, Zarkon?” Hunk called, stepping beside Shiro, holding onto his shoulder to keep him back.

“I wish to make a deal.” Zarkon smiled.

Shiro took a breath. “And what would that be?”

“Hand over the lions.”

“And what do we get, if we hand them over.”

Zarkon jutted his scythe into Keith, the man falling down the rest of the stairs, a sickening crack echoing through the room as he landed.

Keith, unaware, curled in on himself.

Shiro broke out of Pidge and Hunk’s holds. “Keith!”  
  
The two barely had a time to reinforce their grip on him.  
  
“And Lotor?” Pidge asked.

Zarkon smiled. “Lotor will remain here, in the rightful custody of his biological parents.”

Shiro saw as Lotor’s eyes widened, the truth finally dawning on him. He started moving, crying out, trying to get out of the Galra’s hold.

“Papa! Papa!” The child began yelling, watching as Keith was overcome with tremors, spitting up. “Papa, wake up, please!!!”

Zarkon snapped a finger, and a kick landed on the child’s stomach.

Another kick was about to land when Zarkon lifted his hand, to pause. “Give us the lions, and your lover is free to go.”

Never. Shiro knew Keith would never forgive them for handing over the lions, even if they had a good plan.

Haggar chuckled.

“They’re saying no, Sire.”

“Then we’ll take them by force.” Zarkon lifted his scythe, and motioned it downwards.

The Paladins were swarmed by the awaiting militia.

* * *

_  
She came to the call of those that loved her. Awake, always there, all-seeing._

_The voice was in her ear, pained, in panic. Dying._

_It still begged._

_For the life of those it may have never known, for a life that wasn’t its own.  
_ _  
_ _And so she came, curling around it, holding it towards her._

_As it sobbed, still begging, still hoping, still absent, she prayed it knew she was there._

* * *

  
Something exploded above Shiro and the Paladins ran forward, dodging the druid’s magic.

Matt was screaming orders, the MFE’s breaking through the roof and flying downwards, ambushing the robots.

Fire was everywhere, and things were falling apart, the solemn lights flickers. Zarkon, Haggar, and the Galra who held Lotor all remained standing, watching with sadistic smiles from the bloodshed they were causing. It sent Shiro back in time, remembering those exact looks, from millions of Galra during their sick Gladiator matches.

It brought Shiro back to places he never wanted to be, thought he had nearly recovered from.

Keith was eerily silent, calm, stuck in a reverie. His eyes look like they glowed a little, bits of sparkles surrounding his bony cheeks.

Shiro became scared.

As the Blade ran forward, Krolia and Kosmo leading the attack while the MFE’s and Matt’s rebel team remained in the air, Shiro looked for an opening.

“Okay, we need to get to Keith, protect him at all costs. Get Keith, grab him, give him to Kosmo. Then we’ll get Lotor.” Easy commands, bad outcome, Shiro already knew.  Nothing was ever so simple as mere words.

He noticed a second too late as a druid flew down above him, a swarm of navy and purple flying by, killing it with an explosion. Krolia landed in front of Shiro, and nodded. She lifted her Blade, flinging it at the next victim that tried to get too close to Lance.

Kolivan joined in, circling the Paladins, Kosmo to his side. Shiro tapped behind Kosmo’s ear, telling him to stay with their group after this, instead of remaining with the Blades.He was needed by the Paladins now.

Zarkon sneered at the sudden onslaught of attack. Lance’s aim was impeccable and Hunk’s blaster destroying anything in their path to get to Keith.  
  
Lotor was still in a Galra’s clawed hands, Haggar moving in front of him.  
  
Shiro noticed Matt sneak up from behind, flinging what looked to be a some sort of techy boomerang. It landed smack in the middle of the Galra’s back. They let go of Lotor with a shout.

“Lotor, run!” Matt shouted, ducking out of the way of an impending attack from Haggar. He dashed off again, taking cover with one of the MFEs.

Shiro heard Lotor shout out a ‘No!’ watching as the child was dragged upwards by the same overly large Galra, grabbing the child as he tried to sprint too somewhere safe.

Shiro tapped at Kosmo’s fur, gaining the wolfs attention from where he was snarling at closing in intruders. “Kosmo, now!”

Kosmo, ears perking and not needed to be told twice, transported from the Paladins circle, no one noticing in the heap of the commotion as Kosmo bit at Lotor’s shin, using his tail and hind legs to knock the Galra off the child. Shiro heard Haggar scream out as the wolf transported away, and Zarkon looked back, noticing the absence of his son. His eyes widened, and Shiro could feel his blood boiling. They had to hurry. Haggar disappeared, magic growing wild as she searched for her son.

Shiro gritted his teeth, running out of the protected circle they had made. He jumped over an imperial soldier, sliding under another’s legs as he swung up, landing a direct hit into another. Piercing his sword into its metal chest, Shiro pulled it back, decapitating the last two. He jumped, just in time, to slide in front of Keith.

His eyes remained opened, still so white it looked like they were glowing. If it wasn’t for the rasps he called breathing, Shiro would believe he were dead.

He was so pale.

Huffing, Shiro moved from his place on his knee, standing tall, defensive in front of his lover.

He saw the purple curtain of a cape flow forward, brushing against his own feet.

Zarkon had never dabbled in the short department, currently looming over Shiro. The scythe he held in his hand turned into a double edged sword, larger than Shiro’s entire body.

He brought it to Shiro’s throat.

“Move out of the way, Champion. You’ve lost the right to get him back..” Shiro stilled, tensing. He remained in his position shielding Keith.

Zarkon noticed Shiro’s shock.

“You don’t think we knew of you? _Champion_ of the arena, a sight to behold? One of the best fighters the Galra had ever seen.” Zarkon smiled. “We did our research, Takashi Shirogane. And we knew you’d always come back for him.”

_As many times as it takes…_

Shiro could hear the sound of the battle raging on behind them, the shouts, the cries, the blasters, James Griffin’s and Matt’s own voices, directing orders.

There was too much happening. He felt Hunk and Lance take aim at Zarkon, threatening Shiro. The sword was still held sternly against the pale ridge of skin.

“So let us try again: give us the lions and we let your boy go free.”

Shiro sneered, moving backwards. He felt the group of Paladins meet up, shoulder to shoulder to protect their unconscious leader.

“Hmm,” Zarkon muttered, lifting his sword further, “how cute.” He was about to slash when Kosmo landed back on the throne, Lotor jumping off of him.

“Stop!” The child screamed. “I know where the Lions are, I’ll tell you!” The child yelled out to Zarkon. “Just please! Don’t kill them!! Don’t hurt Papa!!”

Zarkon didn’t move, didn’t respond.

He only swung his sword, ignoring his child’s screams as Shiro dodged the hit, using his arm as a shield. Lance fired and Haggar threw a power beam, returning over the throne as she flew by. Lance’s shot hit her orb, bouncing off and straight onto Hunk from the shards of debris.

Hunk flew backwards from the impact, landing hard and too far away from the Paladins now.

Matt called the rebel defences to fall back, the MFE’s joining as they moved away from the throne room. Zarkon’s army was falling back as another round of the sadistic man’s militia was incoming from the main entrance of the castle ship.

The Blades continued fighting around the throne room, their numbers quickly declining.

Lotor jumped off the steps, but Hagger flew by, icy hand grabbing at his chest and throwing the kid backwards, straight into an awaiting Galra. Claws struck him down onto his stomach, keeping him imprisoned.

Kosmo growled at her treatment of the child, jumping at Haggar in Lotor’s defence, but she grabbed his muzzle, tossing him so easily across the room. The wolf yelped in pain when he too landed.

But her focus was off the Paladins as she flew after the wolf.

Zarkon slashed his sword at Shiro as a group of druids swarmed Lance and Pidge from behind.

The group, now separated, were each fighting their own battles.  
  
“There’s too many druids!” Lance shouted, shooting at anything malicious he could see coming his way. “We need to regroup!” Pidge said.  
  
Shiro was steadily drawing farther and farther away from dodging Zarkon’s attacks. He deflected perfectly, but it was obvious he was becoming quickly tired. Zarkon’s attacks were swift and furious and never ending. With this, they weren’t planned nor coordinated, just attacking left and right. It left his defences down, and Shiro rammed the Black Bayard into his side, Zarkon shouting in pain. It didn’t do much, but it gave Shiro enough time to get some distance.

He was lucky he ran in the direction where Hunk just finished taking down two other imperial guards. They joined up, working together as Zarkon aimed his next attack.  
  
Kosmo’s haunches were high, claws out as he sensed the witches presence. She flew invisibly, but her dark magic followed her like a trail of crumbs He used it find her.. He jumped high just in time, fangs landing into a stench of death and decay. He bit into the damned witches shoulder as harshly as he could. No one hurt the child; no one hurt Keith, not under Kosmo’s watch.

She screamed as black liquid dripped from the ripped cloth of her bony shoulder. Her hair was a wreck, and she landed on the floor with a dull thud. She held onto the wound, snarling back at the wolf.  
  
“You-” she lifted her hand, using her magic to hopefully take the damned creature out of this reality, once and for all. It was too persistent.  
  
Just as she was about to let the power loose, an energy swayed in the area, causing Haggar a brief moment of hesitance. It felt familiar, somehow.  
  
Kosmo reacted to it too, ears lifting as they both turned to the doorway.  
  
Something new was here.  
  
Sneering, Haggar stumbled over her feet to stand, presence flickering as she disappeared from the room.  
  
Kosmo’s ears dropped knowing the witch was gone for now. He turned Keith, who was unguarded and shaky, Lance trying to get closer to the man. Otherwise no enemy was close enough to cause harm for the time being; no one had a reason to keep Keith occupied. So the wolf turned to the kid, quickly observing the chaotic area. He was putting up the best fight as he could.

Knowing where he was needed next, Kosmo used his abilities to transport closer.  
  
Lotor kicked at the Galra’s ankles,biting at the uncovered wrist as he finally broke free from his trapped position. He grabbed onto Kosmo who transported them elsewhere once again.

Keith watched with dead, opened eyes when Haggar had cried out, vanishing quickly after that. He seemed to watch when Kosmo rescued the kid a second time, Lance praying they got away.

Lance held onto his sniper, perfectly aiming from his knelt position beside Keith. Pidge watched from Keith’s other side, electrocuting whoever got close.

It was like Keith wasn’t even there.

“Keith! Buddy! You need to stay awake!” Lance screamed as he took another shot. Lance could hear the deafening rasps of Keith as he tried to breath, how his chest seized every other minute.

He was so, so pale, curled in so tightly to himself, holding an empty space against his chest.

“Keith, c’mon- wha!” Lance was knocked away with a blast of power from the druids. They circled Keith in the air, Lance holding onto the wall, Pidge trying to hold her position of the ground.

All to soon she was blown away, Keith left alone, overtaken as the druids drew close, sucking his quintessence away from him.

Lance tried to blast a shot when Keith began to scream, but everything missed due to the tornado like wind.

“Fuck!”

Shiro and Hunk were fighting Zarkon, having no better luck. Shiro on offense, Hunk behind him on defence, either blasting at people running towards them, or at Zarkon himself.

So far, no one got a blow in.

“Shiro!” Lance yelled over the comms. “Keith isn’t doing so hot. We gotta-”

Shiro looked over his head as he heard the explosion from the far wall of the throne room, where the exact door they had come from once stood. It was the one tunnel down to the other realities Black Lion, now gone as debris flew threw the room with torrential power. Lance, in all the wreckage, was flown forward with Keith. The druids were swarming the area until another blast of air came threw the newly developed hole.

Sparkles of pink and white quintessence fluttered to the ground, hovering like snowflakes in the wind.

Shiro lost his breath as Allura walked through.

She said nothing, body almost holographic as she changed her bayard into a lance, aiming it directly at the druids.

She threw it, and it struck through three, perfectly. They exploded into tiny bits of dark magic, leaving this world in dust.

Lance shuffled backwards, eyes wide.

He didn’t know if he was acting like he was seeing a ghost, or if that's exactly what was happening.

“Aa-Allura.”

Allura continued to glow, the power never leaving her body. She looked like she was about to speak when Haggar reappeared, screaming at her, bone chill, deafening sound.

Shiro had to cover his ears.

Haggar flew forward in a blink of an eye, grabbing the Princess around her neck and tossed the two back down the stairs.

Shiro only saw bits of colour as they fought, explosions of quintessence as their battle now took place.

Lance crawled on his legs. “Allura?” He said. His eyes were unbelieving.  
  
“Allura!” He yelled as he returned to his senses, jumping onto his feet and chasing after her in a few long strides, guns high and aiming.

Shiro heard a pained scream, Pidge immediately going after Lance. The remaining swarm of Zarkon’s men chased the witch down the hall, following Lance and Pidge. The room was empty now, save for the last of them.  
  
Hovercrafts now could be heard, flying around the castleship in their own battles, explosions loud and dense as material crashed into the ship.

“Hunk,” Shiro called, spitting onto the ground. Zarkon seemed to be moving backwards, his cloak flowing around him.

“Go help the others."

“But Zarkon-”

“Go. I’ll handle this.”

He’d made a plan with Kosmo. Kosmo was to get Lotor to safety with Coran in Altea and come back to grab Keith.

Get them both safely into hiding.

Figure out a way to stop the new, trans-dimensional rift.

Sounded simple in concept.

Execution always liked to fuck them over.  
  
Because there was Kosmo and Lotor, appearing out of thin air right beside Keith.  
  
And there was Zarkon standing just behind them as Kosmo hurried to bite into Keith’s skin, get them to safety.  
  
The wolf screamed in pain as Zarkon slashed at its hind legs.  
  
“Kosmo!” Shiro yelled out, running as quickly as he could/  
  
Lotor was thrown from the wolf’s back as Kosmo fell in a heap on the ground, eyes shut and mewling in pain.  
  
Lotor slid, grabbing onto Keith, pushing at his Papa and running his hands through the oily strands.  
  
“Papa, wake up. We gotta go, we gotta-”  
  
Kosmo whined again as Zarkon lifted his sword directly above his head, trying to pulling himself to safety.  
  
Shiro threw the bayard, directly hitting the sword and causing Zarkon’s aim to miss just inches away from Kosmo’s body. Shiro slid behind the wolf and directly in front of Keith.  
  
Zarkon smiled, kicking the downed wolf out of the way, the wolf yelping. Kosmo tried to shakily stand, but could only fall.  
  
The wolf was out for now, or so he made it seem.  
  
Zarkon lifted the double edge sword, once again returning to the exact same spot they were when this fight started.  
  
Everything comes full circle.

Shiro stood over Keith, protecting him from Zarkon’s bayard. Shiro gritted his teeth.

Lotor huddled further into Keith, trying to get his Papa awake.

It was obvious Zarkon was done with formalities.

“Move, soldier.”

Shiro held his ground, grip tight on the expanded sword. “No.”

“Then you realize you will be the first to die.”

" _No_.”

Zarkon remained cold and heartless, seemingly uncaring as he lunged at Shiro, Shiro getting ready to pivot when he saw the familiar bits bits of blue.

Zarkon was too bloodthirsty, gone from his own mind.

He was too far into his attack to realize that the wolf had transported twice. Once to Keith, and now directly right behind Zarkon. Kosmo down jumped to Zarkon’s left, swiping his fang over his armour. Zarkon cried out as Kosmo sunk his teeth in, shattering the chain mail. Shiro thought he saw a fang chip from the puncture of it all.

Zarkon punched into the wolf’s head, the wolf digging in harder. He pulled back to throw the wolf off of him when he felt it.

A dagger, stabbed into the middle of his back, directly digging into his spine. The dagger was pulled out, little legs standing on Zarkon’s back as he pulled the blade out, stabbing into Zarkon once and twice more. Zarkon lunged, trying to grab the kid to slam him into the ground as Kosmo bit at Lotor’s hand, transporting them before Zarkon could do any real damage to the boy.

They were gone in the blink of an eye.

Zarkon choked on blood, helmet gone, face devoid of anger. He could feel the blood gushing from his back.

Zarkon glared, knowing he was about to die.

But he wasn’t about to die alone. He thrusted his sword out further, preparing to attack. Shiro went on the defence when Zarkon’s eyes shifted, and the last second, threw his sword straight at Keith.

Shiro lunged, the sword slicing through his metal arm, shattering the Earthen bits.

Shiro screamed in pain as he lost all feeling, vomit rising as he got sick on the ground immediately.

His eyesight turned dizzy, but Keith. Keith would be okay.

“I told you…” Zarkon said, staggering towards them. “You’d die first.” It was a promise. Shiro, with his good hand, grabbed Zarkon’s bayard, shuffling backwards to protect Keith.

Zarkon wasn’t getting his hands on him.

Not anymore.

“I see-” Zarkon spat blood, stumbling over his own feet, cape making him trip. “You don’t listen to reason.”

Zarkon, now directly above Shiro so close his blood fell onto Shiro’s armour, pulled back his arm. He went to punch Shiro directly above the head, a knockout if Shiro didn’t have quick reflexes. He moved to the side, Kosmo reappearing as Lotor stabbed Zarkon’s other arm.

Shiro had repositioned the sword, perfectly against Zarkon’s chest as Lotor made a bullseye to his arm.

Zarkon fell, Shiro killing the man as the metal pierced through his dead, gone heart.

He’d once been a good man, Shiro had to remind himself.

The rift, however, changed people. Turned them into the darkest parts of their own soul for its own gain.

In Shiro’s mind, Zarkon had died long before the Paladins of old, acting as a puppet for the celestial beast.

Zarkon’s body fell to the side. He stared at Shiro as his eyes began to close.

“Vre-pit… Sa-” His body exploded, plumes of black energy swirling, falling to the ground like ash, similar to the druids.

Shiro and Lotor froze as they heard the literal bone chilling scream, a terror of energy running through the castle, frantic.

It was gone before Shiro could place it.

And then all was silent.

Haggar vanished from the ship completely.

Lotor, beaten, bloody and bruised, held onto Kosmo, panting. Shiro was still holding onto the blackened sword, now covered in a sort of soot.

“Papa?” Lotor muttered.

Keith rasped.

“Papa!” He cried out, running to his side. Lotor pushed at Keith’s chest, examining him. “Wake up! Shiro! Why isn’t he waking up!”

“Help!” Lotor screamed to the Paladins down the hall. “P-please, someone! Anyone- He needs help!”

Shiro collapsed to Keith’s side, broken shard of metal digging into the remnants of the skin on his human shoulder. He reached out, holding onto Keith’s extended hand.

Keith’s eyes were watery, the glow having faded, which now left his eyes looking practically all black.  Still open, but barely, his body shaking as he tried to breath. It reminded Shiro of a photograph he once saw, of a dying young girl trapped in the volcanic debris and lahars that ruined her house. It haunted Shiro, the comparison.

Keith’s skin grew more faint, looking wrinkled and soggy as he paled. His torso began shaking.

“He’s seizing!” Shiro heard Pidge yell, running back into the room and falling to her knees beside the rest of the group.

Hunk came directly after her, Lance walking in slowly, Allura’s arms dangling over his shoulder, a deep wound to her side.

She looked to be in bad shape as she continued to glow.

“Allura.” Shiro gasped.

Lance helped her drop to her knees, kneel over them.

“Can you-”

Allura shook her head.

Why wasn’t she speaking? He wanted to ask-

“I think she’s in another realm.” Pidge explained, voice small. “She’s alive. But this isn’t her body, just her spirit.”

She seemed to agree, panting. She made no sounds.

“You came back.” Shiro stuttered on the ground. He was crying now, he knew. “The Black Lion- the other - it died to bring you here.”

She nodded sadly, looking pained. She hissed when she pulled against the wound as she moved around.

“Be careful,” Lance said. She waved him off with a shake of her head.

She shuffled forward, placing her hand on Keith’s shaking frame. Shiro felt the magic rise, but Allura was too weak.

“She’s not actually here. She can’t pull power like she normally could.” Pidge aided.

Allura looked angered by this revelation, sneering. Looking over the room, her eyes grew in recognition, and then fell kind. She reached out for Lotor’s hand, asking for it, impatient.

Desperate, yet she still tried to keep a smile to her face in effort to not scare the child.

Because he did look frightened. He was scared by this sudden glowing, holographic being that held so much power that she destroyed an entire wall of the castleship, of this Lady he recognized from that statue on Altea, near Lance's farm.

He shook his head, holding his arms against his chest. He whimpered.

Allura smiled timidly. She patted Keith gently, showing she meant no harm.

She held out her hand again.

Lance swallowed. “Go ahead, Lotor.” He confirmed. “It’s okay.”

Keith began to seize once again and Lotor cried out, reaching out with both hands to hold onto Allura. She pressed them down onto Keith. She stared at the child’s eyes as she seemed to communicate with him.

Lotor gasped as he felt an unfamiliar surge of energy flow through him, his Altean marks beginning to shroud light. His hair started to become more white, an unsullied energy flowing over him, eyes overtaken with quintessence, glowing like Allura.

With their powers compressing together, they pressed their hands onto Keith.

Kosmo, too, was affected, fur growing and glowing as he howled when Keith sucked a breath back to life. Kosmo’s owns wounds seemed to be healing from the close vicinity.

Without a warning, Kosmo forced everyone back to their own timeline. They all felt sick, gritty and not all there as they landed.

The team fell in a disgraceful heap back on Earth, during the middle of the Garrison meeting it seemed. The Garrison meeting was rallying to send troops to aid Voltron and Atlas’ mission, because they hadn’t yet received the transmission signals sent by Matt or Sam Holt due to being too close to Thysala and its inane energy...

Of course.

Each and every Paladin and wolf and child collapsed, falling unconscious as they fell to the floor, the room beginning to rise panic.

Shiro passed out just as he watched the glow from Allura’s body fade, leaving a tangible, physical form covered in whites, blues and pinks of the Paladin suit in its place.

Shiro smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALLURA BB YOU LIVE. so based on Lance’s character development from this fic, I feel like Lance just going back to Allura would be a digress his character. He’s been learning to move on, y'know? That's been HIS arc in THIS story. Learn that his life isn't focused solely around a ghost of his past. So, from the moment that story arc began for Lance, I had issues, cause I always knew Allura would be coming back.  
> I personally don’t want to write them together, as I believe it would defeat Lance’s arc and moving on and learning about himself from THIS story. (if it had been canon, fuck yeah - get married) They’ll talk about stuff for sure! Necessity. But endgame here? Probs not, depends on outcry, but I don't plan on it even though I like Allurance.


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> srry everyone for the absence, its my first day off in seven weeks, and i've had an unfortunate cold and shoulder injury, and the mental health took a slight toll there for a scary while. So its been fun.  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter of total keith angst mixed with team as family who dotes on him and his safety and health like he deserves  
> (Also updated the tags as ze long awaited and much needed smut is coming sooon)

“ _When you’ve suffered a great deal in life, each additional pain is both unbearable and trifling_.” Yann Martel, Life of Pi.

To be quite honest, Lance didn’t know how to feel. Keith was trapped in his own mind, in a comma after getting out of ICU.  
  
He was so extremely hurt. The doctors all said it would only be a matter of time.

The great Keith Kogane, overcome by the need to protect his child.

Even at the cost of his own life. 

Shiro had barely taken any time for himself to recover after the news had been released. He’d spent every waking moment with Keith, Lotor, or watching over the sleeping Allura.

Allura.

Who was asleep in bed, right here.

Allura, who still looked so beautiful.

Not a day had passed for her.

Lance, on the other hand, looked as though he aged twenty years.

Eight years had past, and here she was.

There, in his reality, tangible, in every sense possible.

Lance couldn’t believe it.

He hadn’t known why he had come.

It wouldn’t work out, now, he knew. Too much time had passed, too much had happened.

Lance felt himself lower the bouquet he’d bought.

He hadn’t yet made a trip to the hospital, feeling overwhelmed and unable to see her.

He was surprised when he had woken up in his own hospital room the week prior, to hear that she was back, alive and well.

As well as she could be anyways, saving the Universe and then Keith had taken most of her remaining energy away.

Everyone expected a quick recovery, the alien princess having dealt with much worse.

Lance moved forward, into the room.

Her hair was a mess, so big and everywhere; he smiled at it, remembering how it had always gotten into his mouth when they cuddled.

His smile fell, and Lance placed the bouquet and the card on the bedside table. He stalled, looking over her.

He reached for her hand, just having to know.

This couldn’t be a dream-

Her skin, warm to the touch, was still under his palm.

Lance moved away, eyes glazing over as he felt the need to run, move away, and leave.

He didn’t deserve this anymore.

He was just out the door when he heard it.

“ _Lance_.” 

He froze, back towards her.

He’d forgotten what her voice sounded like.

“Lance,” she tried again, after a frozen moment.

Lance took a deep breath, sniffing away the water approaching his red rimmed eyes.

“Allura.” He smiled sadly, turning to look towards her. He respected her too much to let his emotions overtake him, leave him rude.

She was the same age she’d been the day she died.

But here was Lance. Taller, bigger, more tired. Closer to thirty now than he was to Allura’s age.

She smiled back, eyes likened to fire, intrinsic, warm, yet piercing. “I’ve been watching you,” she said cryptically. Her voice was weak. And Lance almost had to laugh.

“That sounds a little creepy.” He shuffled on his feet, moving his hands to his back pockets.

She blushed, laughing into the palm of her hand. “Yes, I suppose it does.”

She moved her palm away, watching and only watching Lance, every little hint of his ashamed movements. “But I meant it. I’ve been watching, everything, from elsewhere.” Her eyes grew distant at the memories, having always been too otherworldly for her own good.

“Lance. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done. For Altea, for Romelle, for Coran… For me.”

“Allura, it’s noth-”

"I had to stop eventually, Lance. I say this, because… I’ll always care for you, you know?”

Not love, not now. Lance heard it clearly. His throat jumped.

“But watching you stop your life and never move on has been one of the most heartbreaking challenges I’ve had to face. I love you, Lance, and I hated seeing you kill yourself."

Lance moved to the bedside, falling on the mattress. He grabbed her hand, holding it, feeling the warmth and the heartbeat he had long since ceased to exist.

He gritted his teeth, letting the tears fall.

This wasn’t just some dream.

“Allura, I- I loved you, so much. You meant so much to me.”

“I _know_ that, but-”

“I couldn’t move on. How unfair would that be-”

“I thought I had passed on, Lance, so you could live. So everyone could live… I wanted you to live the way you wanted.”

“But,” he shuffled closer. “I have been. I- I wanted to bring you happiness, more than anything else! You deserved it, having lost everything, again and again.”

She smiled, as best she could.

“But in doing so, you’ve changed from the Lance I cam to love. You’ve pushed him so far away it’s like he’s not even there anymore. You’re like a shell- and that, more than anything, is what I didn’t want.”

“But-”

She brought his hand to her lips, gently pressing a kiss to them. She pulled away, patting the skin.

“They feel the same.” She smiled sadly.

“I-”

“I love you, Lance. I always will. And I know, losing me was the hardest thing you’ve faced. I understand that. But, even though I couldn’t speak, even though I couldn’t be here physically, I was. I was watching over you… All of you.”

Lance sniffled. “Couldn’t keep away, huh?” The once cocky tone he used to always hold came back, momentarily.

Allura smiled. “It appears not.”

Allura looked at the bedside table, eyes glazing over the bouquet. “They’re beautiful, Lance.”

It made Lance blush.

She held onto the card, fingers grazing over the handmade pieces of an origami flower.

Inside was simple: pink, with coloured blue Altean flowers that Lance always harvested during the spring.

The message was brief.

“ _Th_ _ank you, for everything._

 _I’ll always love you_.”

Lance’s name was handwritten messily, quickly.

She closed the card.

“Everything I wanted to say, I wanted to say in person.” He admitted. “It felt wrong, saying anything worth meaning in a card. Kind of cowardly, after all this time.”

“I understand.”

“Can we talk… One day, when you’re better? Allura, there's so much I want to say…” She flushed, hands wringing together.

“I hope to, Lance. And I want to say yes. But-”

Oh…  no.

“.... How long,” he choked. “How long are you back for."

Allura looked sad, having shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I’m needed out there, I think. I think anytime I have on this realm, it’s a gift, from the Universe. But I don’t know how long… Honerva… She’s still working out there, in the Cosmos. We haven't-”

“You haven’t closed all of it off yet…”

“No, and it appears we need to move fast. As Zarkon said, there's going to be at least one reality we don’t get to, and they seemed to have figured that out.”

“But that Zarkon is dead, now!”

Allura nodded her head, a look of concern falling over her features. “Maybe so, but Haggar is still out there. And with Thysala’s rift is still opened, the portal can still be used. We’ll need to close it, I assume. Maybe that's the last step… Hopefully…”  
  
Lance felt his shoulders fall heavy. He may never get his chance to apologize….

“If I remain here, for a little while, I hope to talk, too, Lance. There is much I wish to discuss.”

She smiled cheekily at him with a small wink. “You’ve been planting the Alitia’s wrong.”

Lance sputtered. “What?! But- thats how Coran-?! - is that why they keep dying!?”

She chuckled into her palm. “Yes, you shouldn’t always listen to Coran, Lance. He’s a wise and aging man who believes he knows everything. Deadly combination.”

“Apparently.”

Allura fell back to the pillows. Her mind wandered, the room growing too silent. 

She felt like something was calling for her, needing her.

It wasn’t the Universe, or Honerva.  
  
Something closer, more tangible. 

It was like- 

She suddenly grew stern, body holding itself tightly as her gaze slammed towards Lance.

“How is he?”

Lance’s shoulders fell, having always worn his heart on his sleeve. “He’s… not doing so good, Allura. There was internal bleeding, concussion, surprisingly only has a fractured ankle, bruised collarbone, and punctured rib… But they did something to his mind. His heart rate has been flatlining.”

Allura became extremely concerned, moving forward.

“Shiro asked the hospital to move him to his home, since no progress was being made.  Said… Said that if Keith died, he’d want to do so in the comfort of his own home, not in a hospital.”

“Take me to him.”

“Wha?! Allura, no- You’re-”

“Take me, Lance. You know I’ll find another way otherwise.”

* * *

  
His mind swarmed, like a Universe disintegrating into itself and he was left to carry the burden, feel every inch of pain and sadness that came with it.

He didn’t know how to feel. He knew, one some end, he should feel more.

But it still felt cold, so cold. He didn’t know what heat felt like anymore. 

He only knew of the emptiness of where he stood.  
  
He didn’t know what was keeping him there, in this lonely, dark, dying place.

But every time he tried to leave, it was like something bit down on him, keeping him there for just a little longer.

* * *

  
Shiro was laying beside him, with his oxygen masks and feeding tubes and wires. Wires.

There were so many wires everywhere. He was still breathing, and he hadn’t seized or flatlined since being moved from the Hospital a few days ago. 

Shiro knew it was only a matter of time. He held onto Keith’s thinning wrist, entangled their human fingers together.

They were supposed to have forever; Shiro had imagined, as sad as it was, so many things to experience with Keith. 

He had hoped, with due time, to one day buy a ring, one day bend down on one knee, watch as Keith-

The wedding, he hoped, would be a small affair, so different then his and Curtis’, so different than what he and Adam had once imagined for themselves.

But Shiro was different now, with someone different. The parading around to be something bigger than he was, to prove something to the world, was less intensive.

And Shiro had Keith to thank for that, for allowing Shiro to grow and understand and explode and deal with everything.  
  
He was so perfect, and he had done so much, for everyone.  
  
Shiro loved him.

There was so much time left, Shiro thought, time he didn’t use to have. He wished, hoped and prayed, that Keith could do so as well.

Shiro couldn’t let another die because of him.

Lotor stumbled into the room, holding his blankie and getting up on the bed. The child still hadn’t changed from his pyjamas, too distraught to change from his comfort clothes.  
  
He cuddled behind Shiro, holding onto his shirt.

“How is he today?” He whispered.

“Not doing so well, Kiddo.”

Shiro would never give the nitty gritty details, only let the kid know on a surface level what was going on. Children were smart, there was no need to lie, especially when it came to death.

Yes, his heart was unsteady, but it hadn’t flatlined completely yet. However…

Krolia came in and nodded towards them all, Kolivan right behind her.

“He did always hate the hospital.” She said. The sound of defeat was evident as her voice cracked. It hurt Shiro to hear.

Nothing was worse than losing a child, especially one that was so slow, and so painful.

They were at a loss.

Allura hadn’t awaken, and even if she had, she’d be too weak to do anything, and Shiro didn’t want to rely on her. He felt bad, doing so.

Pidge and Hunk entered then, too, with Coran following.

“Hey, Shiro.” They said sadly. Hunk watched the heart monitor as Pidge moved forward, kissing Keith’s forehead.

“He’s cold.” She noted, and Shiro nodded.

“I think there’s a few more days left, at most…” He admitted. 

Hunk, Pidge, and Coran took in a breath. 

“Thank you... For coming to say goodbye. He’d like it, I know.”

Shiro promised himself he wasn’t going to cry, especially not with Lotor at his side.

“Always, Shiro. We’d never miss this.” Coran promised.

“Lance will be here later. He’s uh-”

Shiro understood, a small grin placing itself on his face. “Finally got up the nerve to visit?”

Pidge let out a wet chuckle, moving to the other side of the bed, beside Krolia and Kolivan.

“Yup. Finally did it.”

Shiro laughed, wishing the Blue Paladin of Old the best.

Hunk sat at the end of the bed.

“He looks so small.” Always the one to voice what they were all thinking so bluntly. “He’s a fighter, though. Always has been, always will be, until his last moments. He’ll hold on until the last possible second.”

Krolia spoke up then. “I think he’s holding on for you and Lotor, Shiro.”

And didn’t that just tear his heart in two? “Yeah, I know.” 

Unfortunately. Sometimes, watching Keith in so much pain, seizing, and not breathing, sometimes he wished he’d just let go.

Save himself a world of suffering.

But he held on, for everyone else.

It was so Keith.

Kosmo whined loudly.

Keith’s heart monitor began faltering, not horrifically, but definitely beyond normal.

“Maybe... Maybe he knows. That almost all of us are here.” Pidge said, and Krolia moved forward, wanting to touch her son. But looked so unsure.

“Maybe that’s all he needs.” Hunk, this time.

Shiro breathed in harshly, listening to the heart monitor.

He kissed Keith’s temple, smelling his scent, and running his new, aching prosthetic hand through his hair.

It was his old one, from Allura.

He’d found the courage to put it back on, with the help of Sam and Matt, of course.

He leaned down to Keith’s ear and began to whisper.

“It’s okay, Keith… You-” He choked on his words. “You can go, baby. We’ll be okay.” He held Lotor tighter. “We’ll all be okay. I promise.”

Keith’s heart still faltered, but didn’t flatline, he was still trying, but it was obvious.

He was losing the war.

He wasn’t even responsive to Shiro’s own voice. 

Lotor’s grip became tight, Shiro noticing how he tensed. He pulled the kid closer.

Lotor hadn’t cried yet.

It worried Shiro.

“There’s still hope,” Lotor whispered into Shiro’s hip, watching Keith’s raucous form. “He’s not gone yet. I still feel him. He’s there.”

Shiro understood. Since meeting Allura, it seemed like Lotor was more sensitive to everything around him, her power opening up his own. It was a lot, for the little boy, to deal with so suddenly.

Shiro had to be the one to explain to Lotor who Zarkon was, and that Lotor was an heir of royalty. That there was a reason why people were angry that Keith had adopted him, even if it had been for the best. There was a reason why there were scouts, other cruel people who wanted to take Lotor away.

Lotor honestly handled the news…. Well…ish. He fell silent and barely talked. Eventually, in his mute silence that lasted far too long, he had come to Shiro, and only asked if this would happen again. That if it did, would they take Shiro this time?  
  
Shiro knew. Lotor was scared that if he lost Keith, that Shiro would be next. 

No child should have to go through that.

Keith had decided, a while back, that he hadn’t wanted to explain that they were the Voltron Paladins, who defeated this realms Lotor, Zarkon, and Honerva. Or what happened to this reality’s Lotor.

He hadn’t wanted that until Lotor was much older, able to understand all of its implications. So Shiro was careful with his words, respecting Keith’s wishes.

“I know, Kiddo.” Shiro said, hugging me with his human arm.

“I know.”

He heard footsteps from down the hall, and Lotor blinked towards them, gasping. 

Lance entered the room, holding Allura around her waist.

She was sweating and panting and alive.

There. In their  room.

Everyone was left in awe.

Lotor shuffled closer, huddling behind Shiro.

“Allura-” Shiro breathed out in shock. “You’re awake.”

She smiled with a nod. 

“I- I had to come,” she explained weakly.

With Lance’s help, Allura sat on the bed on Keith’s other side. 

“He’s not doing so well.”

“How’d, how’d you-”

“The lions.” She stated, still breathing hard. She let herself catch her breath, hand on her chest.

Coran rushed over, running his hands over her shoulders to keep her upright.

“Princess! You should still be in the hospital, Allura-”

“Please, Coran, not now! I have to do this. Keith, he’s… He’s not going to make it.”

Lotor let out a sound.

Shiro looked at her, their eyes meeting. Shiro, so hopeful, knew he was begging. “Can you?” He whispered.

Allura looked unsure, momentarily. Shiro picked up on her hesitation.

“I can try.” She promised. She moved forward, closer to Keith. Lance and Coran followed, trying to keep her weakened body up steady.

“Allura, be careful, you just snuck out of the hospital, you should be resting-”

“I know, Lance. But… Afterwards,” She waved them both off. “He doesn’t have much time.” She turned, eyes piercing into Shiro’s. “I can feel it.” She looked at the little boy, so recognizable from Honerva’s memories. 

She smiled, holding out her hands over Keith’s chest. “Lotor, will you help me with Keith? Once more?”

“Papa.” Lance whispered, and she stilled, blinking as an eyebrow rose. She gathered the new information slowly, Shiro watching as it came together, her eyes running from Lotor back to Keith.

With a gape to her mouth, it was obvious she hadn’t realized that.

“Ahh, Lotor, can you help me? With.. uh- Papa? Like on Zarkon’s ship?”

Lotor flung his hands into Allura’s without hesitation. 

She smiled, reassuring the child as she ran a free hand through his long hair. She then held them together, and pressed against Keith’s heart. Allura settled her hands over Lotor’s, helping him build up power, her eyes closing.

The little boy was so careful, so gentle yet so determined. Nothing could break his concentration. He began to glow, bits of quintessence fading from him in sparkles, dancing around and melting into Keith. He too let his eyes closed, and Shiro noticed how the energy flowed through the room, Lotor’s breath moving in pulses like rings of water.

They could feel every little thing, the life they brought to it as their power rose. Plants shifted, a wind began to howl outside, and every cell and atom felt like a pulse of a heart.

Allura felt her own powers begin to steady, and when she knew Lotor had a good grasp on his own, she moved her hands to Keith’s head.

And like an electric pulse of an EKG, Keith seized.

Lotor looked scared, uncertain. He turned his eyes to Allura.

“Keep holding him down!” 

He did so, pressing harder at his Papa’s thrashing body.

Allura could feel the block, the magic keeping Keith from healing, the magic that was slowly killing him. It pressed against his memories and emotions, leaving him cold and bare.

Allura tugged on it, pulling the magic away.

It was difficult, but she continued threading it away.

There was so much, and she knew she couldn’t let go.  

She felt the presence of the lions then, concerned.

So Allura called them to her aid.

* * *

  
There it was, like a hint of hope. 

He saw it, too far out of reach. He tried, he wanted to go towards it. It was…  possibly beautiful? He didn’t know what that meant anymore.

But he knew, somehow that it was warm, that it was calling out to him.  
  
For him, to return.

If he could, he’d try and go to it.

He wanted to go to it.

He felt a sharp touch then, the same thing that bit down before, keeping him in this land of the lost.

It calmed him this time, kept him from moving onwards.

He kept to himself then, allowing that impeccable warmth come closer to him instead.

When it blanketed him, surrounding him with that kind presence, he sighed.

He knew it, now.

They were home. 

* * *

   
Keith’s eyes shot open with his arms flinging, holding onto the sheets with a harsh grip as his body jerked itself awake. 

He gasped, and Lotor moved back, panting. The little boy collapsed into Shiro’s side.

The glow of Keith’s eyes, the glow of quintessence that swarmed his body left him, falling back into the pillows.

His greasy hair was damp with sweat, and he was trembling.

But his eyes were awake, clear of that cloudiness that Haggar’s power had brought before. The beautiful violet like blue glanced around the room.

He watched them all.

He held onto the sheets tighter.

“You’re… you’re all here.” He croaked, brokenly.

His eyes misted with tears as he looked around the room.

Shiro, Lotor, Kosmo, Pidge, Hunk, Coran, Krolia, Kolivan, Lance, and All-

 _Allura_?!

He tried and was unable to say as much, unsteadly weakly reaching for her hand as Lance came to her side, holding her up.

She was too weak.

Lance sat on the bed, Allura falling into his side, but she still reached back for Keith.

“Allura…” He spoke, and she held his hand. “You’re back.”

Allura, teary eyed too, tightened her grip.

“I am.”

His eyes shifted upwards then, too damaged to turn his neck. And there was Shiro, holding him close, the warmth of his body likened to a rock for Keith. 

Shiro, moving his last free hand, pushed the sweaty bangs out of the way of his tired eyes.

“You saved me… All of you.” Keith was smiling, glancing between his son and lover.

Shiro sniffed. 

Lotor moved closer to Keith, placing his head on the other’s chest gently, careful of the feeding tubes and oxygen masks and wires.

Shiro placed a loving kiss on Keith’s forehead, and hugging him awkwardly. Shiro moved more into his side, letting Keith rest his head on his shoulder and chest, just the way he always liked.

Keith knew their faces, knew their voices.

He still held the memories of all the things he almost lost. Closing his eyes to sleep, and only sleep, he whispered, “Thank you.”


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

“ _Listen. Slide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember._ ” Barbara Kingsolver, The Poisonwood Bible.

Keith getting better went as well as one would expect.

He hated it. He hated the smell of medicine, hated the beeping of the machines, hated that he couldn’t move, couldn’t eat, couldn’t do jackshit for himself.  
  
He hated feeling so dependent on others, it wasn’t something he was ever accustomed to, or had the privilege of ever falling back on previously in his life.

He never really had anyone to take care of him, and it was so different….

Honestly, he just hated it all and he wasn’t even in a freaking hospital. No, thank fuck Shiro put a stop to that.

Shiro, who was constantly by Keith’s side, making sure he was alright, well taken care of.  
  
Like right now, while he ever so patiently spoon fed him broth.

Keith groaned instead, moving his head away from the nauseating source. On one hand, he wanted to make Shiro proud of him, and lessen Shiro’s own stress and just eat the damn food.  
  
On the other hand, Keith really hated getting sick. And he didn’t want to get sick on Shiro.   
  
Again.

“Keith, please. You have to eat.” 

Keith huffed. He hated hearing Shiro sound like that.

He raised a shaky finger, trying to calm the deepening quiver in his gut that told him that if he dare have one more bite, he was absolutely going to throw up. Gulping, he said,  “One more.” 

“Feeling nauseous?”

Keith nodded with closed eyes.

“Alright,” Shiro compromised. “One more, and then you can sleep.”

Keith turned his head back towards Shiro, opening his mouth slightly. He subconsciously moved away from the impending scent that he hated, hadn’t even realized he was doing so.

Shiro loved him.

So he forcefully jabbed the spoon into Keith’s mouth, the other choking as he swallowed it. Keith spluttered with a cough as Shiro took the spoon away.

“I hate that stuff.”

“I know, love. But you need it right now.”

Keith sighed pitifully, relaxing back into the sheets.

“What’d I’d really like is a large chunk of medium rare steak and a Jack… maybe with some green beans.”

Shiro smirked. “And mashed potatoes?”

“Nah, twice baked. Lots of cheese and bacon bits.” Keith smiled with a hopeful glean.

“Is that what you want your first meal to be when you’re better?”

Keith mumbled over a yawn. “Dunno, it might change tomorrow.”

That’s fair. Keith’s first actual meal had already changed about five times in the past week.

Keith was making quick progress for how close to death he’d been. He still wasn’t moving on his own or off of bed rest, and made that well known to all who visited.

It’d been about two weeks since Allura and Lotor revived him. Allura was the one to explain to them, after Keith fell asleep, that Haggar’s magic was blocking his memories, had tried to remove them all to make Keith into a soulless puppet, and kept him from healing for her own sick pleasure. 

Revenge, perhaps, for ‘kidnapping’ her child.

Shiro wasn’t sure where that energy ended up, but he was glad it was gone.

Keith’s eyes began to fall closed, and Shiro… Shiro couldn’t help the feeling of absolute love that washed over him as he watched.

Shiro moved over Keith, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Keith lifted open an eye, groaning.

He pawed at Shiro’s chest, moving him away, and Shiro laughed, pressing more and more quick kisses all over his face.

Keith scrunched up his nose when Shiro reached his lips.

Keith did push him away then, as best as he could.

Valiant effort, but it did nothing. It was like a kitten pawing at a wolf at this point.

“Nnngh, Takashi. Nooo.”

Shiro laughed lowly, watching as Keith eyed him with one scrunched eye. “My breath- it’s so gross-”

“And your lips are cracked too, but I don’t care.”

Keith made a _hmph_ noise as Shiro moved over him once again, pressing a kiss to his lips. It wasn’t deep or anything more, Keith didn’t have the energy for that, just a light press of skin on skin.

But Shiro stayed there, making it long. So Keith knew he was wanted, cared for, well looked after.

Shiro would be here forever if Keith allowed it. 

Eventually Keith sighed, and relaxed into the kiss, Shiro rubbing over his thinning shoulders.

He pulled away, Keith smiling at him. His hair was a mess, and all over his bedsheets and pillows and body.  
  
He was pale, skinny, with large dark circles under his tired eyes. He had various casts and slings and bandages here and there.

Shiro still thought he looked radiant.

Alive was a good look on Keith; always had been.

“I wan’ go for a race, too.”  
  
On the hovercrafts, Shiro knew he meant. “Okay.” He promised. Keith was starting to fall asleep, a smile pressed against his bony cheeks.

“And ice” he yawned loudly. “Cream… wif’ Lo… tor...”

“Cookie dough?”

Keith hummed. “Yah... C’kie.. D’oh..” And Keith was asleep.

Shiro pressed one last kiss to his forehead before exiting the room.

* * *

  
The others were all together downstairs, not really having left the house much since Keith had woken up. They all took turns taking care of him; the Paladins, Krolia, Kosmo, even Lotor to a smaller degree (and Shiro, of course, but that was more of a private, unacknowledged effort).

Right now, they were all playing a game of Mario Kart on Lotor’s machine. Pidge was kicking everyone’s ass, but Allura was holding her own in second place. Lotor didn’t care about what he placed, his sole purpose being to get Lance and Hunk in last.

So far he was succeeding.

“Why you!” Lance shouted as Lotor threw a banana straight back at him, hitting him in the face and causing Lance to spin out.

“Hey, I deserve it. Got a gold star today on my spelling test.” He smiled viciously at Lance. 

Lance just rolled his eyes.

Always and forever a Slytherin, Lance decided, no matter what realm Lotor came from.

Lotor had returned to school the Monday prior, having missed out on a lot. With Pidge’s help, he quickly caught back up on the course material and, as noted, got a gold star for getting a perfect score on his spelling test. Now, Lotor decided, it was time to use that to his advantage.

Shiro grabbed his awaiting green tea on the counter, joining Krolia at the table, with a big Kosmo who was trying to sneak underneath and was sad to find himself too big. Krolia was drinking her own black coffee while reading a report on Thysala.

“How is he?” She asked, noting the still full bowl of broth on the counter.

“Better, today. Talking a lot. Hates the broth, though.”

She nodded with a smirk, sipping at the coffee. “Figures. Still bitching about being on bedrest?”

Shiro smiled. “You know it.”

She looked at him conspicuously. She rolled her eyes, like she was laughing at her own joke.

“What?” He asked, lighthearted.

 “You look like a lovesick puppy, Shiro.”

“Oh,” Shiro flushed, rubbing at the back of his head.

“It’s just... You reminded me of him…” Krolia admitted. “Keith’s Dad, when we first had Keith.”

“ _Oh_ …” Shiro’s smile fell as he watched Krolia. They never really spoke much about the man.  
  
“He knew what he wanted, too. Had that same look plastered all over his face.” Her gaze was forlorn, and Shiro knew she’d always miss him.

Her communicator beeped, and Shiro recognized the ding. Kolivan sent her a message.

Shiro swallowed. “Any more news on Thysala?”

She shook her head.

Allura turned then, having won the game as Lance batted Lotor with a pillow for making him come in last place. Lotor himself somehow ended up in sixth. How he managed remained a secret to everyone involved.

She placed her controller on the table, moving out of the way of the rambunctious parties as they started a new game, Coran taking over for her player.

“Is the rift’s power still increasing?” She asked, hesitantly looking over Krolia’s shoulder at the datapad.

Krolia hummed. “Appears so. And it’s been growing since the other realm’s Zarkon and Haggar came through.”

Allura had a distraught look to her face, one that told Shiro that she believed she had failed.

“And we just don’t have the power to close the interdimensional tear that the other realm has been using as a portal. The Holts have been helpful but-”

“I’ll do it.”

“Allura-” Everyone. Everyone called to her then, having heard a second of the conversation.

“I’ve been doing it for years, I can do this one easily now.” She exclaimed with an exuberantly, tightly squeezed fist, punching it in the air.

“I don’t know…”

“Allura,” it was Coran, moving forward towards his pseudo-niece. “Allura… _Please._ We just got you back.” 

She looked around, shell shocked by the emotion swarming around the room. She’d always been an empathetic creature.

“I-”

Coran stood in front of her, quiet as he spoke. “I can’t lose you again…”

“You knew this must not be permanent, Coran. There is still much I need to do-”

“And I may be selfish, but I had hoped to have you around a little longer, I suppose…”

Allura moved forward, hugging the orange haired man. “I never said goodbye, did I?”

“No one ever does, Princess.”

“And I won’t this time, because I’ll come back. I know it. This isn’t- this isn’t like last time. If I-”

She turned to Lotor and Romelle, could feel the powerful projection of the lions, settled on the Garrison grounds.

“We are all stronger, together.” She exclaimed with confidence.  
  
Lance winced at the words that drove his nightmares.

She turned to the group.

“Everyone, I have a plan.”

* * *

  
With Keith still out of commission, they knew they couldn’t close the rift completely, but they could aid the issue. Shut it for the meantime; it would give them more time against another impending attack.

Like a bandage over a severed limb, it would have to do for now.   
  
It was decided that Krolia would stay behind with Keith, while everyone else moved towards the Galaxy.

If they could aid the rift now, then they’d do so, when the risk of Haggar being around was no longer there.

They used the lions, Black allowing Shiro entrance. 

He figured they were more like co-pilots now, him and Keith, able to transfer back and forth with Black.

It was better this way. And Shiro wondered briefly why this hadn’t been an option before (maybe it was because himself and Keith were so close, now, unlike before).

Manning Black felt right, where he was supposed to be in a way that Atlas never afforded him.

At their call, the lions launched to them, still in command of their old Paladins.

Each and every Paladin felt relief swim through them as they watched the Lions fly towards them, landing in front of Keith’s house. Shiro had asked Krolia to let Keith know they’d be back, definitely, if he were to wake up and they were gone.

Shiro held onto Black’s gears, feeling the normality of the situation. 

He was supposed to be here. Shiro sighed as he pressed his head back into the seat’s headrest.   
  
He had been so unsure this would work, and it had, so easily.   
  
He felt eyes on him, and he turned, looking at the  bedroom window. He saw Keith, barely standing on shaky legs, looking stunned. His hand was pressed against the window.

“Shiro, we must go now.” It was Allura over the comms, and Shiro shut his eyes, communicating through his lion.

He felt Keith’s fear, uncertainty, yet joy of seeing the lions again, but he knew what it looked like.

The Lions were leaving, when they had just saved Keith.

With Black, they sent a wave of reassurance to Keith, hoping it’d aid his fear.

They flew off the ground, Shiro never once looking back.

The sooner they got out there, the sooner they could get back to Keith.

* * *

  
Keith woke up with a gasp, feeling Kosmo alert and at his side. He felt the burn of the IV fluid, still connected to his arms. He felt them, they were all here, that energy that had long since faded was swarming around him. Turning to the window, the lions were awake and powerful standing tall and proud. Right outside his window.

He hadn’t actually seen them since the return. He had known, of course, Shiro had told him, but-  
  
Here they were, on Earth!

Keith fell from the bedding, shuffling forward as best he could. His instincts were pulling him towards the lions.

With his hands longingly on the window, he pressed where Black’s muzzle would be through the reflection of the glass.

Keith smiled, wanted to laugh, wanted to cry, as they pressed off the ground. A flood of emotion ran through him, and Keith’s knees weakened at his sudden confusion.

He didn’t understand, were they leaving already? They had just returned!  
  
He hadn’t been able to say goodbye, not having been able to see them.

He knew, he knew with Allura’s and Lotor’s help, that they were the reason he lived.

On shaking knees, he fell forward, near collapsing. He called for them all to stay, don’t go to Thysala, don't leave him again!  
  
He was screaming, incomprehensible words flowing out of his opened mouth as they flew off Planet.   
  
Keith pressed his forehead against the cold glass pane. He heard his mother enter the bedroom as he threw his fists against the fragile panes while he cried out for his old lion, calling out for them all to come back. Just stay, please!

Reassurance drew as a blanket over his mind and Keith felt himself collapsing completely, Krolia and Kosmo catching him. He couldn’t stop staring.

He knew his family was there with the lions.

* * *

  
They made it to Thysala within the hour, the lions shaving days off the trip.

It just made Shiro further realize how far they’d initially been lost in space without the Castle.

He forgot how it felt to command the celestial beasts. It was more riveting than the spacecraft he flew to Kerberos, the hovercrafts he and Keith liked to race on.

These were on such a separate level.

Coming towards the Planet’s old moon, he could see and feel nothing but the inane bursts of power.

Lotor was riding with him, Allura telling him he’d be essential to help close the opened rift.

He had been birthed from the powerful essence, after all.

Lotor, the tiny six year old, was obviously scared, and Shiro had never wanted to ask the child of something so big. But he hadn’t asked, and Lotor instead hopped inside the Lion all on his own terms.

“Lotor, you don’t have to help, okay?”

Lotor remained at Shiro’s side, watching as they started to enter the rift. His little hands clutched at Shiro more tightly, seeming to recognize the rift in some way.

The rift’s energy tried to overpower the lions, creating a strong turbulence. Shiro remained calm, but Lotor visibly gulped.

“I’m okay.” He whispered, nodding at Shiro. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the rift.

“Lotor?”

The little boy was shaking, trembles falling over his body as his eyes widened. He remained otherwise silent. Shiro could only watch as Lotor’s eyes lit up with quintessence, the marks on his cheeks highlighting his pale skin.

“Allura, what’s happening?!” Shiro called, the thrusters in Black becoming too difficult to steer. They weren’t jamming, thankfully, and Shiro could still move in the right direction.

Straight to the middle of the energy force.  
  
They were encompassed in the energy, the bright white of the area.   
  
It didn’t feel real, a place locked between two realms.   
  
Shiro felt uneven and shaky.

“It knows Lotor. He’s too close to his realm, it’s calling for him.” She answered back. “Shiro we must hurry!”

With that, Shiro powered forward, the group left right behind him.

When they entered the middle, Lotor had collapsed over himself, holding his stomach.

“Papa… I want Papa.” He was whimpering, and Shiro jumped from his seat, holding onto the child.

“Allura, you said this wouldn’t hurt him!”

“I- I didn’t think it would, unless-”

The lions all shook viciously, everyone crying out.  
  
“Allura!”

“It’s not the rift. It’s Haggar. Haggar wants him back. We need to close it, Shiro, or else Lotor will vanish!”

Shiro gasped, holding Lotor more tightly.  
  
They wouldn’t let that happen. 

“We need to hurry- Ahhh!”

Allura cried out, Shiro watching as a bolt of black energy came from somewhere in the far distance, hitting her and her lion.

“Allura!” Lance yelled in panic, hearing her pain.

“It’s… It’s fine. The power. She’s too far away. She’s on the other side.”

Lotor was muttering for his Papa, Shiro holding him tightly. He hadn’t meant- He hadn’t known!

“Shiro, it hurts. She’s hurting me. Make it stop. Make it stop!”

Shiro tried to calm him down. “It’s okay. Remember what Allura taught you to do? With the power?”

He felt Lotor nod. “Good, so when I say ‘Go’, starting doing that, okay?” Lotor nodded again, another spark of energy this time hitting Hunk.

“Guys, we need Voltron. Now!”

Lotor perked up as the Lions began to shift, watching the controls shift and change, accommodating the huge Robot. He gasped, white eyes going large, realizing then, that these were THOSE lions.  
  
These were actually Voltron’s lions! 

But- But Zarkon hadn’t killed them all?!

Shiro sat back down in his seat, holding onto the thrusters. More energy was coming from Haggar’s source, that they could all now see. There it was, a literal tear in the white walls, and she was on the other side. Her elongated fingertips were held high, power energizing between the claw like hands.  
  
She didn’t look impressed.

“If everyone pushes forward, and links there mind together,” Allura began, “Just focus, and I can pull our energy together, and close the rift.”

“But- how!?” It was Pidge, then, having always needed the science behind these events. Needed to know each and every detail and step to figure out what to do.

“Just close your eyes and focus! Picture what you want to happen!” Lance demanded.

Shiro shut his eyes, holding Lotor closer. He felt Haggar's magic trying to breach Voltron’s shields.

“We got this…” He said.   
  
Allura’s power began expanding, the others using their links with Voltron and their lions to aid her. 

When Shiro felt his own quintessence spur, he spoke out loud, “Lotor, now!”

Lotor closed his eyes, hanging onto Shiro tightly. He gave out a pained scream as he focused his energy against the rifts walls. Like Allura had shown him, he focused on the rift, on what he wished to occur.   
  
The rift, knowing Lotor, seem to want to do as he told.  
  
It listened to him, in a strange sense.

Shiro saw through the lions eyes as Haggar got ready to attack, and Lance lifted Voltron’s right arm.

“Ready Allura?”

She breathed steadily, their powers and quintessence fully becoming one.

“Now!” They flew forward, sword out. They were all screaming, power raging, straight towards Haggar.

The witch lashed out one last defence of power, and Voltron slammed into the suddenly built wall, the witch’s quintessence building.

Voltron expended their force, Shiro feeling like he was just punched in the gut at the loss of it all. The glow from themselves dropped over the tear, and Shiro could barely hold on through all the shaking.

He heard Haggar’s bone-chilling scream, her last attempt of getting through the rift, wishing to grab her child.

Lotor gasped, screaming into Shiro’s shirt.

“It’s not enough!” Allura screamed. The tear was so close, so close to closing, but that damned witch was keeping it open, just barely.

Shiro felt Lotor turn in his arm. Watching Haggar, Lotor gripped onto the Black Lion’s controls. Shiro could barely watch, knocked out from all the expended energy, as Lotor called out to them all. He felt the child’s presence, the little half-Altean using any power he had. The rift began shifting underneath them, Voltron working alongside Lotor.

“He’s… he’s closing the rift” Coran exclaimed, and Shiro could feel Allura join him. Shiro fell forward, moving his hands over Lotor’s, being a support, letting the child use all the energy he needed.

He didn’t understand it, but he knew he could help in some way.

“It’s not enough,” Allura explained. “Without Keith, it won’t fully close. But for now-Everyone help!”

Shiro figured it to be moot, had known it to be a bandage over a flesh wound, but it could work for now.

It was only temporary. 

They’d have to return with Keith eventually. 

One day.

The other paladins joined, and they felt the rift shift more quickly, moving like a carpet being pulled from underneath their feet.

Lotor screamed so loudly, and Shiro noticed the white fangs of his teeth appear, the cruel image of what the other’s had once seen, battling in the rift before crossed Shiro’s mind. He gulped.  
  
The rift listened to Lotor, was building itself around the energy he lent it. Like an engineer overseeing his work, or a chemist watched as chemicals created an ionic bond, the rift’s energy built and built itself up.  
  
With one last force of power, Allura screamed.

And suddenly, the rift was clearing the tear. Like stitches to a wound or sewing of torn fabric, the rift’s walls were pulled together.  
  
Haggar was left screaming on the other side, any and all of her power unable to stop it.  
  
The rift itself expanded, leaving the once lived in space that it had overtaken. The moon returned, along with the darkness of space and stars surrounding it.   
Voltron broke apart, the Lions dead in space as they tumbled down the moon below. The energy was still there in little increments, remaining zaps of what was soon to come, but for now.

For now, the rift was closed.

Shiro closed his eyes, hoping they could brace themselves for a crash landing.

The child fell unconscious first, Shiro grabbing him as he fell before falling out of his own seat.

Shiro couldn’t stay awake any longer.

At least they were all alright.

* * *

  
The next time Keith woke up, Kosmo was beside him, big tuft of fur directly over his lips, getting into his mouth. He felt a sturdy, human hand loosely draped over his waist. He turned to notice Shiro, sleeping, propped on his old, floating prosthetic. Lotor was between the two, Shiro careful not to squish them.

Keith turned his head back against his pillow. 

Black was just outside, staring directly through the window. Untouched.

Noticing her awakened pilot, she sent a purr over his mind. 

Keith smiled.

“Thank you, Black.”

* * *

  
Everyone went home to sleep for three days after the battle.

Coran was essentially carried to his room by Romelle, and Allura and Lance walked slowly behind, tiredness seeping through their bones as they limped towards their homes.

“I could sleep for a thousand years.”

“I have slept for thousands of years, and I feel like I could sleep for longer.” she joked playfully. There was still the lightheartedness in her voice, the one Lance used to love listening to.

Maybe... Maybe now, would be best.

“Allura,” he said to her. “Can we talk?”

She turned back, nodding.

“Yes, I suppose this would be a good time to do so.”

They were standing alone in the hallway of the Castle that the Alteans resided in, surrounded only by metal. Lance settled against the wall, staring at the open space.

“I dreamed of seeing you again.”

Allura remained where she stood.

“I hated you, on some level, for a long time.” Allura looked shocked by this. “For leaving us. For leaving me, Coran. For believing you were worth sacrificing yourself on some level.”

Lance looked down to his hands.

“But mostly I hated myself. Every single say I thought of it, hated myself for letting you do it. Killing yourself. Letting you believe you were worth the sacrifice, because in my mind, you weren’t. You were worthy of so much more.”

“But-” Allura began to argue. She was upset and angry, having believed what she done to be right. “It was a sacrifice I was willing to make, Lance, a sacrifice I had to make! Universes depended on me. It’s not- I don’t have a martyr complex like Keith, I wasn’t just looking for an opportunity to die. I didn’t want to die, Lance. I wasn’t self-sacrificial. I just.” She looked around, uncertain. “I just, I knew it was the only way. And I had to be the one to do it.”

“Allura,”

“I know you’re upset with me, with the universe and everyone in it. I know, Lance. I understand. I was so furious after Zarkon killed my Father, after Honerva killed my Mother… Altea. Lance, I wanted to wreak havoc on the Universe, destroy it all and watch it burst into flames for taking away everything I held dear.”

“But you didn’t.”

She shook her head. “In a way I did, didn’t I?” She sounded so self-conscious. “If I hadn’t woken up… Maybe. I don’t know. Things would have been so different.”

“There’d be no Earth if you hadn’t.”

“For a couple hundred years, at least, though I’m sure you’d survived, figure something else out… You humans, with your strange ears, are resilient beings after all.” She tried to joke.  
  
It fell flat.

Lance continued. “Maybe we’d survive, but at the cost of how many other lives?”

“Maybe so. If I hadn’t waken up, maybe so many more would have lived.”

“Allura, you did what you had to-” Lance’s head tilted, staring at her. “Oh… oh…”

“Yeah. _Oh_. Understand, now?”

Lance winced. “Still. Maybe, I don’t know.”

“I did what I had to do, to keep everyone else alive; to keep my family alive. I am sorry, that it was at the cost of your happiness.”

“Don’t regret that, Allura. I’m just little ole’ me. I’ve learned to survive.”

“Survive. Not live.”

“We’re talking in circles, Allura.”

“Can you talk to me, please?” She begged. “I’ve been watching, and I just- I never understood _why_ , Lance. You all… you all separated. It hurt, the most, out of everything. No one was there for each other. I left you as a family, and you became strangers.”

Lance nodded, then. “I can’t speak for the others…”

“Then how about just you, Lance. Explain to me why you couldn’t let yourself live.”

Lance’s eyes shifted from Allura back to the wall. He shuddered, as the old memories and all the old emotions came back to him. Allura seemed to sense it, grabbing onto his hand in support.

“I just, I couldn’t.” Like it was that simple of an explanation. Maybe it was. Lance shrugged. “I hated myself. We never- we never even tried to stop you, after all that ‘ _we’re stronger together_ ’ crap you used to always spit out. And we hadn’t even tried.”

“That’s what’s been causing you the most anguish, am I right?”

Lance nodded. 

“You know I don’t blame you, right?”

Lance tightened his enclosed fists. “How could you not? We didn’t _try_ , Allura, and I loved you. I should have tried to stop you. You gave up so much, lost everything, we should have tried to figure something else out; let you not die, or maybe sacrifice myself so you could continue living… I will never forgive myself for letting you die.”

“I chose to.” She pressed.

“I know.” He whispered.

She sighed, suddenly pulling Lance into a strong hug. She noticed he was bigger, taller, more filled out. The stubble on his chin scratched at her forehead, his arms closing around her arm. 

“I hope you know, I never blamed you. But for what it’s worth, I do forgive you. For any hardship you have placed on yourself, maybe you just need to hear it. I forgive you.. Even though I never blamed you but still, perhaps it’s just the words that are needed to be said.” She laughed at her own rant, losing track of the purpose of her words.

She squeezed him tightly. “Lance, I will always love you. You’ve done so much for myself and my community, learned all that you could, even if some of it had been wrong.” She felt his chest rumble with a small laugh. “But you lost your way, only focused on me instead of your friends and family. But… you’ve started to move on, haven’t you?”

“It’s become less difficult, I guess, without you.” He admitted from above, voice small and contemptuous.

“And you’ve started talking with someone?”

“A therapist, yeah. Keith helped me out there. He’s good, my therapist.”

“I know…”

“We can’t continue where we left off, Allura. As much as my old self wishes, I just know it can’t.”

“Too much has happened.”

“I’m older than you now….”

She chuckled, moving away. “Technically I’m much older than you, by at least ten thousand years.”

Lance shrugged. “Still look like a goddess, even in your old age, I guess.”

“And you know. I’d outlive you, right?”

Lance nodded sadly. “I knew that, had hoped… had dreamed of starting a family, something to pass down, for you to watch grow once I was gone… It’s not a dream I allow myself to have now, even if I want to continue. For myself, I think it’s best if we…” He gulped when he realized he couldn’t say the words.

The one person he had dreamed of nightly, had created this artificial life for, continued to get up and learn and experience for even when the days were dark and the depression settled in too much, was finally back, and- and the world was cruel.

The days, weeks, and early months when he couldn’t even look at his own mirror because it reminded him too much of her, the fucking markings… Lance winced. 

This was what needed to happen. 

“It’s not a good idea, I think.” Allura knew it all too well. “You’ve placed too much hardship on yourself over me, a ghost. I think it’s best now if you finally let yourself move on, Lance. You deserve a good life filled with love.”

He held onto her hand, tightly. 

“Thank you for understanding, Allura.”

She gently touched his jaw, chiseled is what he’d like to think of it as, but knew there was still baby fat there. She leaned up, kissing his forehead.

Moving away, Allura walked down the hall, and Lance stood still, clenching his fist at his side.

He was smiling. “Enough.”

Lance turned and walked away from Allura, relief flooding through him for the first time in years.

He was loved.  
  
He was forgiven.

“Enough now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anticlimatic…. Because… reasons… like a certain witch not being killed ;) nowhere close to the end folks (lol jk, about 7-10 more chapters, which still aren’t written…. ALSO TIME SKIP NEXT CHAPTER!!! get ready for sheith smut too)


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry everyone, havent had a lot of chances to write, been doing alot of doubles and then my physical health took a toll and I had to be sent home after almost collapsing so...  
> editing done quickly by me, let me known if theres a fuck up, im running super late to upload this
> 
> HERE WE ARE BACK AGAIN IVE WRITTEN SO MUCH PLEASE ENJOY IT  
> SPOILER IF YOU FOLLOW MY TWITTER: PROPOSALS HAPPEN

_“And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.”_ Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

Keith woke up to warmth, the familiar quilt replacing the duvet during the hot summer months. There was a sturdy body behind him, Keith’s back pressing against an expanse of naked chest. It only felt more like a furnace, but Keith found himself moving closer, even if his own skin was clammy and damp from the desert’s dry heat.

It was closing in on September of Lotor’s first year of middle school. He’d be turning 11, and had aced all of his entrance exams. The kid was both excited and heavily nervous about it all. Lotor would be entering the Galaxy Garrison’s new program, starting future pilots and Galaxy Garrison personnel at an optional grade 6 if they passed with a high enough grade, instead of the usual Sophomore program that Keith had been apart of, thanks to Shiro. If decided, he could continue Post-Secondary for their University and Trades program.

It was prestigious, and Lotor was thrilled to finally be starting his studies, even if he was lucky enough to have family who could take him off Planet to do first hand research whenever he pleased. (Keith was still saddened he hadn’t had a chance to take Lotor to the moon yet, another time though, hopefully soon).  
  
The Garrison had changed from when Keith was young, but it seemed for the better. 

It was a weird thought that Lotor would even have some of the same teachers as Keith had, since Iverson, Montgomery and Sam Holt would still be teaching.  
  
But they still had a few days of hot summer vacation left as they came into labour day weekend. 

Keith was going to make good use of the free time.  
  
The body behind him stirred, the human arm twisting around Keith to pull him straight against the torso. 

Keith felt hot breaths as a nose pressed against his neck, kissing the skin.

“Morning,” Keith muttered, yawning as he stretched his limbs out, all too much like a cat.

Fingertips ran over Keith’s chest, holding the place over his nipples when another kiss was pressed against his sweaty nape.  
  
Keith was pulled somehow closer with a sigh.   
  
The same fingers twisted his sensitive nipple, ones that Shiro would later take into his mouth and make them red, erect, and raw. But for now those same hands were gentle, kind and teasing.   
  
They brushed from his chest, down his abs where Keith’s skin jerked, ticklish.   
  
They stalled when they reached the trail of dark hair under his abdomen, the teasing line leading down further, to the place where Keith was hoping Shiro would finally reach.   
  
He wanted something to touch him, surround him in that familiar intense heat. “Mmm… someone’s frisky this morning.” Keith said instead. 

Keith could feel Shiro’s grin when the man pressed another heavy, stubbled kiss to his shoulder.  
  
“What can I say?” Shiro said. Voice low and sleep-sodden.  His eyes were still shut. “You got me into a mood last night.”

Keith smiled, shifting at the soreness around his waist. He was excited to see the hand shaped bruises that may be laying there. Shiro was more rough than usual. They had been so rough and quick the first time, Shiro forcing Keith against the doorway the second he arrived home from dropping off Lotor at his sleepover.  
  
He had turned Keith’s chest against the wood, pulled down his shorts and taken him then and there. Afterwards, on the couch, it had been slow and sweet and hours long; the slow embraces and gentle kisses and fingers embracing tight when Shiro finally entered the furl of tight skin once again, Keith left stuttering and begging and eyelids heavy with soft tears.

After that, the final place, in bed, sleepy and tired. They had both come quickly, only jerking each other off with the heat of their palms and whispering sweet nothings into the other’s ears.

The night had been long. The night had been perfect.

He sighed loudly. “Yeah, I did.”

Shiro chuckled as he lifted himself, eyes finally opening. On one elbow, he pressed his palm into his eyelid, rubbing away the sleep.

Keith watched him, this beautiful Adonis of a man, slowly taking everything in. Slowly wake to the brightness of the sun running in streams under the windows breezing curtains.  
  
Shiro stretched, groaning as his joints popped and he fell back down against the pillow.   
  
Keith finally breathed.   
  
Grey eyes met violet and the two came together like the north and south poles of magnets, attraction pulling at them until they were touching.   
  
A kiss, slow, barely there. There was a sound of lips parting as they drew away, and suddenly Shiro moved forward, pressing Keith back against the pillows as he slaughted himself between parting thighs.

Keith remained in a daze, unbelieving. Surely, this was a dream.  
  
They were too busy, barely had time to chat or take their nightly walk together.

Now Shiro leaned down, Keith’s lips parting and hand pressing against the short hair of Shiro’s neck to bring him closer.  
  
This time it was Keith’s hip who popped loudly as he moved to bear Shiro’s weight, his breath leaving his lungs as he struggled to pull in air.   
  
He enjoyed it, like a heavy blanket comforting him.

“Mmm,” Shiro muttered as he pulled back. “What time is it?” He slurred, skin flushed. Keith felt the growing bulge pressing into his hip bone.

“Just past seven am.”

“What time are you picking up Lotor?”

“Ten. Kenzin has a soccer game at eleven out in Chattleville. So I told Sal I’d pick Lotor up at ten.”

“So we have time?” Shiro muttered. He was drawing close to Keith again. There was no resistance.

Keith braced himself for the kiss, arching upwards as he felt his own self throb. “Yeah,” he groaned. “Yeah we have time-”  Keith found his legs wrapping around Shiro’s waist.

They rubbed themselves against one another, Keith unable to stop the little noises that kept falling out of his mouth when their lips parted. Shiro particularly liked when Keith moaned loudly during a kiss.

One of Shiro’s hands slowly ran down the length of Keith’s back, past his waist and against the spot that was still a little loose and puffy from the night before.

Shiro felt the little bit of slick that had built up whenever his part-Galra lover was aroused.

Allegedly, it was normal for Galra to produce slick from the backside, and a copious amount of precum from their enlarged cocks during arousal. Keith, being only part Galra, didn’t the full benefit of this process, but there was some, enough even, for it to be a gain rather than a loss. Keith, too, had been so embarrassed, having not realized it wasn’t normal for human males to be able to do either of those things.

Shiro, however, in contrast to Keith’s anxiousness, had loved it, and continued to always feel a little swell of pride when he felt the little bit wetness when his fingers pressed inside Keith, when he tugged Keith’s dick and more than normal amount of precome dripped down, making it easier to take Shiro some days.

Lube was still needed, always hidden away in both of their drawers beside their bed, but fuck if it didn’t turn Shiro on even more.  
  
It smelled like sweet pheromones, something genuine and sweet and tart yet comforting, pulling Shiro in. It tasted even better too.

Shiro loved having his mouth open and full, pressed against that region right underneath Keith’s lithe abdomen. He loved taking Keith to the hilt, sucking and staying there for hours at a time until they were both shaky and Shiro’s lips were red and puffy and cracked. His jaw would go numb. But today wasn’t for that. Today, after fingering Keith to his near finish, Shiro was going to take him long and slow.

They had time now.

“Ahh- _nngh_ ” Keith groaned. He was still sore from the evening prior.   
  
“Shiro. Lube- we need more lube, please.”

Shiro knew exactly what that meant.  
  
“No, I don’t think we need more lube for what I plan to do to you.”   
  
Keith glared as best he could from his arched, writhing position. “No! Don’t you _dare_! You are not finger fucking me again!”

It was true, besides cockwarming, Shiro realized he took great pleasure in making Keith come from his fingers. Multiple times from his fingers.  
  
Only his fingers.   
  
It was a perfect punishment and exercise of patience for Keith, and a great show for Shiro.   
  
He knew he’d get it back in return eventually, hating it and loving it all the same.

“Ahh!- you _ass-_ why can’t we ever just fuck quickly, like-l- a _h shit there_ \- like last night?!”   
  
He knew Keith wanted to complain more but his fingers were curling, rubbing against that place that made Keith absolutely melt.   
  
Keith liked it, no, loved it, rough and fast and too hard. He liked dirty talk and Shiro slapping his ass. He liked to sometimes be tied up, called a slut, be needed to be put into his place when his skin was too tight and his mind was reeling and wouldn’t shut up. Keith wanted to forget, and to forget could be tension, being strung up and violent and sometimes vicious until he could finally melt and relax in Shiro’s arms. Drift away into somewhere mindless and only float. Sometimes he needed to be slammed against a door or a wall or a table and just be taken with barely any lube, and he’d enjoy the burn it created. And Shiro liked it, he liked having that control over Keith, pushing him and making him just reach his limit until it was just barely too much. Shiro liked having that power.   
  
When it was the other way, though, Shiro liked it slow and lazy. Sometimes he liked being taken care of, Keith seemingly needing to do so for him; to have Keith touch him, lay him out on pillow and blankets and run his hands over his smooth chest and thighs and the swell of his ass, kiss and chart every set of scars like they were a constellation worth studying and remembering; Keith would lose himself in saying as many kind and honest things as he could think of as Shiro was taken apart and crying. Keith liked being like this to Shiro. Nothing was more important than Shiro’s happiness, and when taking him, Keith always stopped, always asked how he was doing, never wanted to push the other too far, always attentive and kind and caring in his own fear of causing the other pain. It made the insert always slow and dramatic.   
  
Sometimes, since they both, in their vulnerable moments, needed and craved such completely seperate things that the other was almost always willing to give, compromises had to be made.

“Shhh, baby,” Shiro whispered. Honest. “I’ll give you what you need.”

“That’s what you said that one time.” Quiet.  
  
There was nothing more beautiful than making Keith lose it, become completely thoughtless from the tips of his fingers. One time, during one of Shiro’s favourite memories late into a romantic evening, Keith had been riding him into oblivion, fast and hard just how Keith liked, that edge of pain grounding them both. But he wasn’t listening, had been a brat needing control, so Shiro picked him up and off his lap when he ground down extra hard, unknowing that it hurt Shiro too, and threw him across his lap. He  held Keith down by his waist and fingered and spanked him until the other man was in tears. Keith whited out after coming, and to see him lying there across his lap, hair tangled and loose and damp, Shiro knew it was a rare and vulnerable sight to behold. It was a treasure in a tangible form.

Keith had put so much faith and trust into him; Shiro would never take advantage of that.

And here he was, moving his body to try and get more leverage, trying to get Shiro to just put something more in him; he needed it, goddammit!   
  
Keith groaned in annoyance when it was painfully obvious that Shiro was enjoying the slow, delicious torture of his current predicament a little too much.

“Please- I have to pick up Lotor soon.”  
  
With those words, Shiro sighed and finally picked up the pace. Glancing at the clock, Shiro realized just how long he’d been at this and gave up his reprieve. Soon they were slaughted together, Shiro pushing in with Keith losing himself to the feeling of Shiro against him, inside him, tired, sweaty and heavy.   
  
It wasn’t even thrusting. Just little ruts, just moving against the other.   
  
And as great as it felt, Keith’s mind was forever three steps ahead, leaving his body on the bed. He always thought, mind reeling. There was always an edge that remained, wary and ready to run and fight in a moments notice.

Concern, panic. Never enough time.  
  
He’d never quite gotten the feeling of eyes leaving him since their fight with Zarkon, when Keith and Lotor had been kidnapped by the witch.   
  
Even if it had been years, and everything was seemingly okay, Keith always felt the tug, a sneering presence looming over him.

It may have just been normal parental fear, a need to keep their child safe, but Keith was never so sure. He was one to trust in his instincts, and listen to them more than his own logical mind.

Sure, Zarkon was killed, his Empire returning to their reality with bandages over their wounds from what Keith had been told. But Haggar was still out there, searching. She hadn’t sent any scouts, there had been nothing. And Keith was enjoying the leisurely time they were given.

He knew it to be a ticking time bomb; there was only so much time until she returned, could see the sand falling down the hourglass-  
  
“You’re thinking too much.”

“Wha-what?” Keith asked, shaking out of his subconscious daze, eyes shooting up on a particularly heavy thrust. Keith couldn’t help but moan loudly as his head tipped back.

“I’m not doing my job properly if you’re thinking, love.”  
  
Shiro grinned moving up and off of Keith, Keith’s body twitching when Shiro left him empty.  
  
“Shiro, wait-”   
  
Shiro crawled backwards, eyes never straying away from Keith’s miserable and desperate form.   
  
“I’m sorry,” Keith tried. Fear rising in his throat.

Shiro shushed him, shaking his head. “No need to apologize, Love. I know.” He understood.  
  
But Shiro was now trying tenfold. He placed his feet at the edge of the bed, grabbing Keith’s waist and pulling him until Keith’s ass was pressed right against Shiro’s thickness at the edge of the mattress.

They sighed as they made the motions of love-making, without actually doing so. Shiro’s dick was dripping with precome, running from Keith’s taint and down the cleft of his ass and back again.

Keith shivered, sensitive. He felt his hole tighten with every brush over the desired area.  
  
Together, they dragged Keith’s parted legs onto Shiro’s shoulders. Shiro squeezed at Keith’s hips tightly for reassurance when the other began to squirm from the cold.

Shiro pressed kisses onto his ankles and held them dearly before he lined himself up.  
  
“Shiro,”   
  
“I don’t want you thinking at all.” And with that, Shiro was back inside with a sharp inhale, holding onto Keith’s legs. He jutted in. He didn’t make it all the way in, was letting Keith adjust to his size in this new position, knew how deep it was for Keith. His thrusts were slow, each and every one going just a little more deep inside, and Keith was left shaking.

Keith was sight.  
  
Keith was sprawled over the mess of covers, hands reaching up to hold onto the undone sheets below. They tightened into white fists, and Shiro couldn’t help but smile. A sweat drop was falling down his neck from his desperation. Shiro held onto his stamina, something he was happy to have gained.   
  
A few years ago, even in the clone’s body, Shiro wasn’t able to go this hard for this long, on either end. It was something his ex-husband hadn’t been the happiest about. And with Adam and his illness, well. 

Their sex life had been great, but short lived more often than not. (But Adam always blamed youth and being too excited and premature, rather than accept the heavy heart of the scenario that it was difficult and painful for Shiro to last for a longer round).  
  
Keith was making beautiful noises, swinging his head from side to side as he couldn’t keep down the sounds. He was loud. Shiro liked it when he was loud.

So many little pleases, and ‘ _ahs_ ’, and ‘ _Shiro’s_ ’, like they were the only words Keith knew as he grunted them out.   
  
“You’re still thinking.” Shiro admonished.   
  
Keith’s dazed eyes opened, violet glint turning to look at Shiro.   
  
“I can feel it, Keith. You’re still thinking.”   
  
“But-”   
  
“Just relax.”   
  
“I’m trying.” Keith whined. Shiro stilled, running his hands over Keith’s hips in reassurance.   
  
“I know. I know, baby. But just let go. You do so much for everyone else.”   
  
“Shiro,”  
  
“Just let me take care of you.”   
  
Keith stopped writhing around, stopped putting on a show he knew Shiro enjoyed watching.   
  
“I can’t-”   
  
“Please try.”   
  
The magic word, and Keith nodded as best he could.  
  
“Okay…” His body relaxed, finally, against the mattress.   
  
And Shiro set off again, this time making intervals between going fast and hard and then using slow and tortuous thrusts. It was driving Keith wild.  
  
It took some time, but eventually, finally, his mind seemed to click off after a particularly harsh slap from Shiro’s prosthetic hand.   
  
“Just feel me, Keith.” He whispered as a lover. A partner.   
  
Someone entirely knowing of Keith and his body.   
  
Shiro was touching him everywhere, filling him perfectly. This was what Keith had needed so desperately, had missed so much. They had been _so busy._   
  
Shiro somehow knew the things left unsaid.   
  
When it got too close, Keith let go of the sheet, running a hand down to himself.   
  
Just as he groaned, pressing tightly around aching member Shiro tsked loudly, slapping Keith’s hand away.   
  
“Oh, no, no. Can’t have that.”   
  
“I’m close, though.” Keith said, eyes squeezing shut.   
  
And Shiro knew. Knew the tell and give of Keith body, what it meant when his whines increased and his lower half began to shake like it a trembling aspen caught in a breeze.   
  
It felt forced, something Keith needed to get done and over with.   
  
“I’ll take you there, just let me do it.” Shiro whispered.   
  
They came to a stand still, neither moving. Gently, Keith let go of his other fist, bringing it to Shiro’s awaiting hand. Smiling, Shiro held onto both of his wrists, pulling at his arms and holding them at his own hips as he began thrusting forward again. It was awkward with Keith’s legs still parted over Shiro’s shoulders, bent like a pretzel.   
  
Shiro slammed in, going for his need, could feel it pooling in his lower abdomen. Shiro too was groaning, making animalistic grunts and huffs himself. Little punched out jabs of, ‘ _oh yeah’_ s, and ‘ _you feel so good, baby.’_

Keith couldn’t move much from his position, hands fisted in their firmly tied position by Shiro’s side, held tightly by Shiro’s palms. His fingertips were like their own forms of a handcuff, keeping  Keith locked in place.  
  
Keith’s ankles were beginning to fall from Shiro’s shoulders from the pounding and sweat, his back sliding more and more backwards towards the edge of the bedding.   
  
His head was slipping off, neck stretched backwards as his hair fell down the side in streams.   
  
Shiro moved forward, lifting a knee to the bed, then the other, then he mounted Keith from over top, pressing his knees to his chest as he slammed inside.   
  
He let go of Keith’s hands, loving how the other immediately ran his arms around Shiro’s neck, nails biting at the skin near Shiro’s shoulder. Keith pulled his head up and pressed his forehead against the skin of Shiro’s neck and collarbone. He was licking and biting wherever he could reach, which left Shiro more disheveled.   
  
Keith was holding on for dear life.   
  
“Oh, ohh god, Shiro- I’m, I’m-!”   
  
“It’s okay, love. Let go.” Shiro pressed a quick kiss to Keith’s temple, which was more hair than skin. Had wanted Keith’s mouth but couldn’t reach. He watched as Keith’s eyes squeezed shut, the other man loudly losing himself. The pleasure of their fucking dripped between them, ran down Shiro’s skin, and Shiro lost himself to it.   
  
Keith fell back, boneless and perfectly mindless. He angled himself to stay on the bed, but was just barely clinging on.   
  
Shiro huffed a breath, sweat glistening all over his body.   
  
He groaned.   
  
“Inside,” Keith tried to whisper, but was too tired to make a sound, practically asleep.   
  
Shiro knew what Keith wanted, and shook his head with an unbalanced smile. “No, not this time.”   
  
Keith would have to leave and pick up his son soon.   
  
Keith moaned in anguish at the thought of moving. He wanted to sleep for another hundred years.   
  
He peaked a bleary eye open when the mattress shifted and felt Shiro pull out, leaving him open and empty.

Shiro moved back to sit on his knees, thrusting his dick into the palm of his hand, mouth open and face red as he brought himself to completion over Keith’s stomach.  
  
Keith groaned again when his knees popped as he moved them from Shiro’s biceps.   
  
He looked at the mess the two made, over themselves and all over the bedding.   
  
Keith suddenly realized he’d be spending the day doing laundry. Great.  
  
Shiro pulled them both back up to the pillows and fell against Keith’s side, eyes closed and tired. They laid together, naked, happy, and warm. Their arms wrapped around each other, pulling each other close. They fell asleep again, so quickly Keith hadn’t even noticed. It felt like a second had passed when Keith groaned into the dark void when their legs touched, and suddenly Keith was being pulled onto his side, face pressed into Shiro’s chest.   
  
“There we go, now I can see you.” Shiro chuckled. Yawning. He ran a lazy finger over Keith’s forehead, from his nose and over his smooth jaw.  
  
Keith sighed, feeling as Shiro’s metal arm began drawing random shapes across his skin. “I love you.” He whispered. “I love you. I love you...”   
  
“I love you, too. I’m happy we finally got to enjoy our time.”   
  
Snorting,  Keith rubbed at his eyes. He shifted, his bottom half numb even more so now, but he was happy Shiro hadn’t listened, hadn’t finished inside. It was just more of a clean-up before having to head out.   
  
“Yeah, but I guess this is what happens when Mr. Big-Shot gets a major book deal, and has to tour around the world.”   
  
“Universe,” Shiro reminded.   
  
“Sorry. Universe.” Keith snipped with an eye roll.   
  
Published author, renewed Captain of the Atlas and, if needed, Co-pilot of the Black Lion. So much, such a high honour and title.   
  
Shiro was adoring his life, albeit being hectic and busy.   
  
All. The. Time.   
  
Damned workaholic. The both of them.   
  
Keith’s chest swelled tightly at the thought of what their lives had brought them.. They hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks, Shiro touring around, Keith and Lotor having to watch him from the early morning talk shows he was on around the Galaxies.   
  
Their life was incredible, happy.   
  
Keith wanted this feeling to last forever.   
  
He felt Shiro shift a few minutes later, neck jutting to the side.   
  
“Ohhh, uhhh, Keith?”

“Mmm?”   
  
“It’s 9:30.”   
  
Keith’s eyes jolted awake as he jumped from the bed and into the shower.   
  
Fuck, the one time he was going to be late!

* * *

  
So here’s the thing about starting at a new middle school: Lotor was going to the Galaxy Garrison. Kenzin, Lotor’s best friend since Kindergarten, and the third of the trio between Lotor and Lance’s niece Mane, was not. His grades didn’t make the cut, and he was to be going to another middle school on the other side of town, closer to his own house. Not that Kenzin was as interested in the Galaxy Garrison as Lotor was, as the young Galra preferred sport, but the change hurt all the same.  
  
They’d be separating this year, for the first time since meeting, and this was the last sleepover they’d have before school started.

Before their new lives started.  
  
The parents had tried to calm the two down, had stated that they’d remain friends, still would get together at soccer practice and the like.   
  
However, to say Lotor was upset was an understatement.   
  
The two kids stood at the door, having a hard time finally separating as they tried to continue talking.   
  
Keith made small talk with Sal as the two young kids hugged each other quickly and awkwardly. It mimicked Keith and Shiro’s hugs, one hand drawn to each other’s chest before the embrace.   
  
Keith cleared his throat from his view, asking Sal how Hunk was doing with his entrepreneurship. They recently released a new cooking show together, one which Sal was a guest host on, where an upcoming chef-to-be, could have the opportunity to become a new sous-chef or line cook for Hunk’s universally famed restaurants. The show was fast-paced and left everyone on the edge of their seats. There was a new secret ingredient used each week from different Galaxies that Hunk explored during his years of Voltron. So while it was a competition, Hunk always gave a lengthy speech about the ingredient, the land it came, the historical knowledge they possessed, and what its use was from a cultural perspective before getting into the nitty gritty of the episode.   
  
Keith found that part to be more of a time filler, wanting to get into who’d win and who’d fuck up that week, but Shiro loved the time Hunk took to explore other’s areas and history through his love of food.  
  
And it was getting solid ratings, which Keith was proud of. 

Sal called over to his son Kenzin, telling him they’d have to leave soon to make it in time for his practice, and he still needed to get changed.  
  
Sniffling but trying to remain put together, the young boys knocked their fists together. Lotor almost in tears, looking like this was the last time they’d ever see each other again.   
  
He was acting like they were moving light years away, and while Keith felt sympathy, knew the hard truth that this is where the life long friends may separate for good, he had to withhold a chuckle.   
  
The town was small, surely they’d still see each other out and about at some point.   
  
Lotor was hiding his sniffles as he loaded his bag into the trunk, Kenzin quickly wiping his own tears while trying to be unseen. They both acted as though they weren’t crying, saying they were totally fine and totally cool with the situation when asked.   
  
Sal rolled his eyes at Keith in goodheartedness while Keith loaded Lotor into the hovercraft. 

They made a final wave before Keith took off down the road.  
  
Kids. They’re so dramatic.   
  
“You’ll see Kenzin again, Lotor.” Keith shifted gears, his backside achy and burning. He stretched his leg as he pressed against the gas, trying to shake it off. “I know that- that things will change for you from here. And I know you know that too, you’re a smart kid. But you’re going to meet so many new people at the Garrison, so many like minded people. You’re going to learn and try and fail but you’ll figure it out, and-”   
  
“Papa?”   
  
“Uh-” Keith stuttered, mid sentenced, Lotor’s voice so low that he barely heard it. “Y-yeah, Lotor?”   
  
“Can you not? Shiro’s better at the feel good lecture stuff anyways, no offence.” Lotor sighed, pressing his forehead against the glass. His eyes were red rimmed and his breath came out shaky.  
  
“Not like you’d understand anyways,” Lotor muttered into himself, and Keith’s mouth closed shut.   
  
Just as asked, he shut up and turned up the dial higher, listening to the radio.   
  
When they reached the fork in the road that would either enter the Garrison, go to the cliffs, or go to their house, Keith took a sudden and surprising right turn. Lotor noticed the change of direction, and perked up.   
  
“Hey, our house is that way.” He muttered, pointing in the direction of their home.   
  
Keith smiled, looking in the rear-view mirror. “I know.”  
  
Lotor humphed again, folding his hands against his head like a pillow. “Whatever.”   
  
Keith still grinned when they reached a flat plain, well out of sight from the Garrison. Keith turned to Lotor, telling him to get out of the vehicle. Lotor looked like he wanted to question it, but followed his Papa’s wishes in silence.   
  
Keith left the door to the driver’s seat open, and went over to the passenger. Lotor stood outside, confusion written on his face.   
  
“What’s going on?” He asked. He looked tired and numb, not wanting to deal with humanity right now.   
  
Keith shrugged. “You can ditch me and go play your video games and read your books in silence later. But right now, drive. Feel something.”   
  
“I don’t know how to drive.” He said.  
  
Keith pressed a button, and the glass surrounding the hovercraft lifted like a convertible. “That’s why I’m going to teach you.”   
  
“I’m eleven.”   
  
Keith shot Lotor a look. “Consider it practice for the Garrison.”   
  
Lotor’s shoulder’s fell as he got into the driver’s seat. “I’ve been asking you all summer for lessons,” he started, hand on the wheel. “Why now?”   
  
“I think you need it more right now.” Lotor rolled his eyes at the lackluster answer.   
  
Keith dove into instructions about the basics of the hovercraft, seat adjusting, mirrors, before starting on about gears. He had Lotor shift each gear once while they were still parked, the kid catching on quickly from years spent on Keith’s hoverbike. But seeing was always different than doing. Soon enough, he had Lotor lift off air, staying in neutral to feel out the controls before shifting into first gear and moving forward very slowly.   
  
“You can’t go very fast on this gear, as well as in second. If you want any speed, you have to build up to it, you can’t just launch zero to a hundred.”   
  
“Must have been difficult for you to learn,” Lotor quipped, and Keith bit his lip, repressing a laugh.   
  
Because yeah, it had been. It had been a pain to learn, because Keith liked to launch straight into things, he didn’t want to wait, he wanted speed and race across the world and to feel the wind on his face. Keith didn’t know jackshit about patience then, that taking it slow at the beginning could create an excitement that was an even better experience than the thing itself.   
  
But as Lotor shifted gears and sped up over the vast landscape, his eyes cleared a little, his cheeks now rosy from a different sort of stimulus. He may cry later, isolate himself and hide his emotions as best as an eleven year old would, but for now his mind was off the fear of losing a friend, of his life changing so drastically. So suddenly.  
  
Lotor was laughing, his lengthy hair wiping around from the harsh wind. Keith whooped and hollered into the far reaching landscape, holding his own hair back as he didn’t have time to do anything with it after his quick shower. 

It was so quiet out here, save for the roaring engine of the craft.  
  
Lotor followed along, steering and hollered.   
  
They came to a stop, Lotor’s heart racing as he jumped out almost an hour later.   
  
His smile was wide and spread across his face, scrunching his eyes.   
  
They met at the front of the craft, leaning against it. Keith crossed his arms, Lotor following in tow as they watched the high sun against the cliffs in the distance.   
  
Keith smiled. “The first time I did this route was with Shiro,” Keith reminisced.   
  
Lotor’s eyes moved to look at Keith, but kept his stance still.   
  
“He came to my school as a Garrison graduate to recruit new pilots. It was along his tour, since he had a few places to visit. And that first day, I stole his vehicle.” Keith chuckled, more to himself than anyone. Lotor made a face that clearly said ‘ _what the fuck_ ’.

Lotor had never heard about this story.  
  
“I stole his vehicle, and he got me out of juvie. ‘Cause he thought he saw talent, and a hurting kid who’d been let down by the world.”   
  
Lotor hummed to himself, half listening now. He hadn’t known his Papa had been sent to juvie.   
  
“I tried. I tried so hard to shake his persistence, prove that I was this bad kid that everyone thought I was. But he knew better. I was a good kid, it was only the behaviour that I expressed that was bad. And it was only ‘cause I never knew any differently. Only cause I had been forced into using that behaviour to protect myself and survive.”   
  
Keith clutched his jacket tighter around himself, looking down to the dirt. Kicking a rock.   
  
“I was a lonely foster kid, who was moved from home to home. The place that kept me the longest was only for a year and a half before they sent back to the home. I made some friends, there was a cat that I loved, but- there was no stability. I was moved from town to town, once even to Idaho before being sent back to the orphanage here, and I hated it. I didn’t understand, why me? Why didn’t anyone want me? Why couldn’t I just stay in one place? What was I doing wrong, when it was Lucas or Mark or Zoey that came after me, put chili peppers into my bed sheets, or gave me a black eye, or when it was Mr. Melborn that was always trying to sneak into my bedroom and I-”

Lotor was watching him in full now, trying to understand where this was going.  
  
“A-and Shiro- he came along, and he saw me, and he trusted me, and he tried his damned hardest to get through. And he did. He made my life better. Without him, I would never have-” Keith lifted a hand and waved it towards the landscape. “Just- All this is thanks to him. But eventually, he left to.”   
  
“Kerberos?” There was a careful tone to the question, like it was something that was supposed to be left unspoken.

Keith side eyed his son, nodding gently. “Yeah.” He whispered. “Kerberos. They said he died, that it was pilot error. And I was left alone again. And again. And again.”  
  
“But Voltron-”   
  
“Yeah, for a short while, but then Shiro died _again_ and left me _again_ and I just sort of lost it. My one constant kept leaving me, and I searched the Universe, literally, to get him back. And you know how that went, they wanted me to lead, which I hate!” Keith whined with exaggeration, which perked Lotor up a bit. “But I knew he wasn’t entirely lost. That he was still out there and hopefully one day he’d come back, just like before And when he did? He was different. I thought he finally saw me for the bratty, undeserving kid I was. Should have known better….”   
  
Lotor turned, not wanting to be entirely present while his Papa was seemingly having a moment. It was tough to watch, this rock of a man, taken apart so easily.   
  
“I was moved around a lot from a young age, never really made too many friends; the ones I did I eventually had to leave. That was my constant. Constant change, and you had to adapt or else, or else you’d just become the victim.”   
  
“Papa, I-”   
  
“When it comes down to it, Lotor, don’t say I don’t understand. Because I do. Too well.”   
  
Keith shifted again. “I understand more than anyone.”   
  
“Papa,” Lotor tried, mouth falling open. “I’m sorry, I just-”   
  
Keith put his hand on Lotor’s shoulders before pulling him into a hug. Lotor couldn’t help as the tears finally came to bay, as they finally fell from his eyes and he cried.

Keith let him know that it would all be okay.  
  
Growing up and changing schools and making new friends was a scary thing, but at least the kid had more than a handful of people who loved him if he ever fell through. He had people who would always be there for him, waiting on the other end to make sure he was okay. 

After Lotor settled down, wiping his tears, Keith lead him back to the car, letting him know his thoughts and fears were justified, but it was going to be okay.

Lotor only really had two friends, anyways. It was hard for that to be a change, the kid always having had a hard time making friends.  


As they left, Keith didn’t notice the sparkles of blue lights, flickering in the distance along the cliffs edge.

* * *

  
Keith knew something was up the moment he entered their home.

They arrived well into the late afternoon, Keith letting Lotor drive a little more before taking over and heading back into town. They got shitty fast food for a late lunch, Keith picking up some stuff for Shiro as well.  
  
They entered the quietness of the house, only the sound of laundry being done pulling Keith from his trance. Lotor was sipping his drink loudly, oblivious, while Kosmo was left whining near the door.   
  
All the lights were shut off, and Keith could only see the dust floating through the streams of light from the enclosed curtains.

There wasn’t any sort of sound.  
  
Keith gulped, anxiety jumping.   
  
“Shiro?” He called.   
  
Lotor, in question, moved into the house, dropping his stuff by the door. Lotor seemed less interested in Shiro’s sudden disappearance, and more interested in getting up to his room and finally sulking in peace. “Maybe he just went out for a bit?”

Keith, scared, arched an eyebrow. “With what vehicle? Kosmo and the hovercraft are still here.”  
  
“Maybe he went for a run.” Lotor said. He dropped his drink and the food on the counter, going back to the door to take off his shoes.   
  
Keith stood still, breath quickening. He checked his communicator, seeing no new messages when he clicked on his and Shiro’s chat.

Lotor noticed the impending anxiety, knew how quick Keith’s mind could race and think of all the horrible things that may have happened while away.

“Hey, Papa, come on. It’s fine-”

“No, Lotor- it’s not, he’s-”

Lotor sighed, remembering their previous conversation. His Papa didn’t do well with this sort of thing, sudden disappearances relating specifically to Shiro and the people his Papa loved.

Lotor, once when he was quite young, hid in his closet when Keith came to wake him up before school, thinking it would be funny and Keith would play along.  
  
Keith, however, freaked and panicked, calling Shiro and almost having all the Paladins to come help him search, yelling that _she_ was back. It had been a few years since that point too, and Lotor was young, really young, had just been wanting to play a fun game. Thought it would be funny. He cried afterwards, along with his Papa, and apologized profusely.   
  
He knew better now, and tried to remember where that anxiety and concern developed from.   
  
“Papa- he’s okay. Alright? Just breathe and-”   
  
Kosmo whined, Keith then noticing a wrinkle of paper against the table. He raced towards it, unfolding the contents.  
  
His heart stopped, barely even reading but only recognizing the horrific curves of Shiro’s handwriting.   
  
‘ _Dear Keith,_ _  
_ _I’m sorry, but I couldn’t wait-’_ _  
_ _  
_ Keith stopped, papers falling from his shaking hands. Lotor may have shouted his name, but Keith couldn’t hear beyond the ringing from his ears.   
  
Unless this was some game being played by that- that fucking witch, which Keith knew not to be true-   
  
His mind raced for an obvious answer, scared when he came to only a single conclusion.

Shiro had been doing better! He’d been doing so much better. Sure, there were bad days, there was always bad days, but this morning! Was it a final goodbye, like that time years ago when Keith finally started talking to Shiro again at Christmas at Lances?! Is this what that was?!  
  
He knew, had talked to his own therapist about the concerns. Knew that when people who were dealing with suicidal thoughts all of a sudden became calm, happy, like they were at peace just after long moments of difficulty- he knew that could be a sign of a plan, a plan that they may actually follow through with and-   
  
Keith tore through the house, running out and leaving the door hanging open as he ran towards the open desert. Kosmo barked after him, following after sharing a quick look with Lotor.   
  
Lotor yelled something frantic behind, tying back up his shoe and tossing on the other one (that he had _just_ tugged off) and raced after his Papa.   
  
All that was running through Keith’s mind was, no.

Not again.  
  
Not Shiro.

* * *

  
Shiro was waiting along the cliffs. Where he once showed off and taught Keith how to dive bomb. It held history here, made it even better in Shiro’s mind.

So many years ago, already.

It was steadily growing more late, the sun beginning to set.

He hoped Keith would see the note in time, but if it were to happen under the stars, than so be it.

It may be more meaningful that way, he reminisced. The start of their journey, the similar goals they shared when they were so young, bringing them together. _Look towards the star_ , Shiro had once said, _we’ll be out there together some day._

So much had been achieved. So much that Shiro had continued to experience everyday.

It wasn’t easy. Everyday there was a new struggle, something with Lotor, something wrong with the notes for his final draft from his publicist, something was happening with the Atlas, the Black Lion, his students at the Garrison, his own mind and body. It never stopped, but such is life. And Shiro liked leading a busy life.

It hadn’t been easy, coming around and accepting his vulnerabilities, leaving himself exposed to everyone he had tried to remain cool and collected in front of for years, as though he had no problems at all. 

It was all so unfamiliar, something he’d worked so hard to never let happen. Save face, that was his mentality.

But he found being open, fully and completing expressing himself to someone was much more rewarding than his own diminished and upsetting goals. 

After everything with his failed marriage and his own mind increasing into something he struggled to bare, with all those uncontrollable negative thoughts, leaving him quite literally on the brink of insanity and ready to jump-

He was glad he had the support of friends and family, who held his hand and led him along the way, that helped him.

He was glad he decided to stay.

Happy, so thrilled that there was someone like Keith who was always there, through every up and down. 

But Keith had always does too much with too little a reward, never recognizing his own follies.

He was wonderful that way, genuine. One who truly just wanted the best for others.

What Shiro said that morning was true; he wanted Keith to let loose, realize he too was loved and cared for, like he had done so well and completely and continually for Shiro.

He was always Shiro’s rock. 

Shiro wanted to let it be known that he could be Keith’s rock too, that it was okay for Keith to also lean on him when needed, since Keith too, like Shiro, always tried to handle his burdens on his own, his childhood forcing him to do so.

And some habits were difficult to change.

But Shiro could always show just how much Keith was loved, if Keith would give him the chance.

Shiro was sitting on the handmade duvet from Christmas years back, with a small basket beside him with wine, cheeses, meats, and crackers, a bouquet of flowers in his prosthetic hand, and the heavy weight of a small box hidden in his back pocket.

He was only worrying they wouldn’t make it, wouldn’t know where to go, get lost under the oncoming stars, when of course, a shout from the distance let Shiro know of their arrival.

A puff of blue faded in from further down the line, Lotor and Kosmo popping into existence. Both looked tired as they panted. 

Keith continued running towards Shiro, but he looked upset, frantic.

He ran straight for Shiro, quite literally throwing himself into the other. Shiro, taking on the sudden weight, dropped the bouquet upon noticing the other’s shaking body.

“Keith,” Shiro said. He wrapped his arms around the long haired man, tightening his hold. “Keith, what happened? What’s wrong?” Shiro was only growing more concerned with time.

“I’m sorry.” Keith whispered into his clothed chest. “I- I promised I’d be there for you, and I- I’m sorry! I didn’t realize, this morning, it was so good, and I didn’t realize, I’ve been so selfish, and-”

Shiro shushed him, holding him still. Keith was steadily growing more distressed. Shiro turned to Lotor in question, who shrugged his shoulders, completely confused by everything that was currently happening. Kosmo’s ears fell back.

“Keith. Baby, please. Breath for me. Just like that.” When Keith calmed down a little from his panic, he moved his head back to watch the other, but Keith held on tighter.

“Please don’t do this! Please, I know I’m not supposed to say this but please don’t leave me- I’m sorry, Shiro! I didn’t notice, I’m sorry-“ he continued his rant, and Shiro grew more confused.

Lotor, hands in his pockets and leading with his shoulders hunched, came closer.

“I think- I think Papa thinks you had an episode.” Lotor spoke as Keith continued to apologize over and over.

Shiro’s heart broke.

He moved back, forcing space between them. He held tight onto Keith’s shoulders, forcing the other to look him in the eyes.

“Keith, is that true? Did you think I was going to-“

“ _Please don’t_!”

Huffing a breath and offering a sad, small smile, Shiro brought his prosthetic up to Keith’s scar, kissing the apple of his cheek gently. “My knight in shining armour.” Shiro whispered. Always concerned for the safety and well being of everyone he loves, of those who he doesn’t even know. “I’m okay.”

Keith shuttered a breath. “W-what?”

“I’m okay, baby. It’s nothing like that.” He spoke gently, realizing Keith flung himself into his own downward spiral in concern and worry.

“You’re- you’re not? This isn’t- You’re not h-having an episode?” He breathed harshly, trying to keep his tears at bay.

Shiro wrapped his other hand around the back of Keith’s neck, holding him steady. Keith reached for Shiro’s prosthetic, holding tightly.

“No. No I’m not. I know more now, when those spirals happen, Keith. And I know when to ask for help.” Keith almost scoffed, because yes, it was still a struggle to ask for help when Shiro’s body felt too heavy and too nauseous to get out of bed, memories laying thick and heavy in his mind, keeping him from feeling happy- normal.

But in recent years he did, eventually, go to Keith for help; Keith knowing it was best to wait for that ask for help, rather than force it out of Shiro.

“Did you read the note?” Shiro questioned quietly, lips smiling softly as he pressed more kisses to Keith’s face.

“I- I did, but- all I saw was ‘ _I’m sorry’_ , and ‘ _couldn’t wait’_ , an-and my mind just started racing, and I thought maybe Haggar was b-back, or- or, this morning was _so_ good, but _so_ different, and I thought maybe I missed something- and then with Lotor-“

As Keith began panicking again, Shiro hugged him tightly.

“This isn’t like that, Keith. I’d let you know if I wasn’t doing well, and I have let you know, haven’t I?” He questioned, lifting Keith’s chin from his chest to look upwards into his eyes.

Keith gave a little jut of his head, offering Shiro his acknowledgement.

“B-but then- why did the note-“

Shiro gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Well- because-“ Now he felt more flustered and ashamed. He knew his boyfriend better than that, and to send him spiraling? He should have put much more thought into it before he rushed out, trying to make it to the cliffs before Keith returned with Lotor.

“Because- because it was true. I was planning on this happening during our anniversary at Christmas. Your Mom knew and the Paladins were all going to help out. Because you deserved it to be special. But I couldn’t wait any longer, I just- I just wanted to ask you, and I wanted to make it personal, between us. Not some fancy, over the top thing with everyone around to watch and record and take pictures…”

Keith’s eyes furrowed. “Shiro, babe, what-“

Shiro stopped him, pushing himself away and taking a deep breath. He reached down for the flowers, and then back up at Keith.

“Keith-“ He’d written a speech. He’d been rehearsing the speech for hours, but all of a sudden, staring into the pale, distraught face of this beautiful man before him, Shiro lost all words.

So he said what he felt.

“Even looking at you now, I feel like the luckiest man in the world.” Shiro admitted. “You’ve saved me, time and time again. Even now, after spending time with your child, you were concerned for me. Me? And that- that means the world to me, Keith. Because before you, I had relationships, but I had goals that I deemed more important. I was going to travel to space because I had been told no for everything all of my life. I was always being taken care of.”

“And here comes you, this powerhouse of a kid that looks like, he just needs to be told yes for once in his life too. And I thought, maybe I can give this kid what I never had, what I had to prove. But in doing so- the same happened to me. You never told me to not go to Kerberos. You never told me to not try and pilot the Black Lion, knowing my condition. You followed me, supported my dreams while knowing my inadequacies, knowing that I could fail, health wise, mentally wise, anytime. You never said no, I said jump and you asked how high and said hold on while I help get you there.”

“You’ve always been selfless when it comes to me, to others you care for. You do what you believe is right, and will fight for it to the death, even if it goes against everyone else’s personal morals. It’s blunt, and purposeful.” Shiro continued, thinking back at when Keith had clutched Pidge’s arm, telling her she needed to stay. That the lives of two people were not more important than the lives of billions of others. “You’re logical to a fault,” Shiro said with a tight laugh, side eyeing the sunset.

He took Keith’s hands into his own, kissing the gloved knuckles.

“You care so much for others, you’re willing to drill yourself into the ground to make sure they’re all right. You’re selfless to a T-“

Keith stuttered, trying to move away from Shiro’s grip. He’d never been good at receiving compliments. They made him embarrassed, feeling as though he were undeserving of such  accolades.

“I’m not-“ He tried to say

“We know about Naxzella, Keith.” And Keith went to a stand still, eyes widening as his mouth parted.

Silent, he turned to Shiro, who nodded. “Matt and Coran.” He explained. “We thought-“ Shiro ran it over in his mind before clarifying, “we hoped you’d come to us. Talk to us about why. But you never did.”

Keith made an embarrassing noise. “You were in trouble… I needed to make sure you got out okay. Your lives were more important and more necessary to survive during that point than mine.

“You were never less important than us, though. Why was your life something to be sacrificed? To try and throw your ship into the barrier so we could get away?”

“It was the blades way. One life over five others. Logically,” Keith spoke, emotionless. “Logically, I was less important. One life over the lives of others, right? It wasn’t- It wasn’t like I was trying to die-“

“But you did it, over and over. You tried to unplug all the bombs at the Kral Zera, because you knew I was there. You forced the others to fall apart, so you could get through the wormhole in time to save me.”

“Shiro-“ Keith whined, needing this truth bomb to stop. It was too much, too sudden  on Keith’s still stuttering heart.

“You tried to face Zarkon alone; you flew the Black Lion after almost careening down the side of cliffs to get to me; you offered yourself up for a suicide mission when you went to meet Thace inside of Zarkon’s ship, and was almost blown up alongside it, without ever telling us how that made you feel; you pushed yourself away from the group, from the few people you love, so I could have a chance at piloting the Black Lion.”

Shiro stalled, holding himself tightly. “You promised to save me as many times as it takes.”

“Shiro-“ Keith questioned, tears starting anew. “Why?”

“You held onto my hand as we fell, Keith.”  Shiro held onto Keith’s hand tighter, the bottom bouquet of the drying flowers crinkling under the trapped pressure.

“You stayed with me through all the times of my own despair, even when I needed time to collect my thoughts by myself, and began to pull away when I went to the Green Lion of the trip home.”

“You were right. This morning was different. Because you care so much about others, that you never take the time to look after yourself, the way you do for us. You deserve a world of love, Keith. A world of devotion, of kindness, and caring. For a world that has been so dark to you, to make you believe that you, a single person, meant less than the five of us in Voltron that you felt the need to sacrifice yourself- I want to change that. I want to make you see that you are worth it. That you are just as important; have always been, and will always be, especially to me. I want to take the time to lose yourself, feel whatever you want and act on it.”

“I know it’ll be just as hard as it has been for me- getting me to open up, ask for help when I need it. It’ll be difficult at times, but I want you to realize your own worth, that you are deserving of all the happiness you should have and more.”

Shiro fell down to one knee, dropping his prosthetic from Keith to the backside of his pocket. He tugged out the small black box, opening the lid to show him.

It wasn’t anything fancy. Not like the rose gold wedding bands with the black ring that Lance had kept suggesting, nor was it the luxite band Krolia kept sending pictures of. Her hints were becoming more prominent and obvious as time went on.

It was simple, resized Red Gold and Sterling Silver, and had been his Father’s Mokume Gane wedding band. Wood ingrained metal.

“I want to be the one to help you realize your worth, continue this amazing journey we’ve been on together. I love you, Keith, and I want to be stuck by your side, forever and always. If you say yes, you’d continue to be my knight in shining armour, always saving me, and I’d be your-“ Shiro wasn’t sure, he didn’t quite fit on the same playing field for a knight in shining armour. “I’d be your…”

With hands enclosed around his opened mouth, Keith said, “husband.”

Shiro looked up, saw the tears running down Keith face.

“If you say yes, we’d make plans. I’d be your fiancée, and yes, eventually be your husband.” Husband, Shiro tasted the words on his mouth. He smiled, the breeze playing with their hair.

“Fiancée.” Keith smiled, lifting his palms he once again through himself into Shiro. Hands wrapped around Shiro’s neck as Keith cried into the crook of his neck.

“You jerk! That stupid note! I thought- you should know better!” His yells were muffled through the material of Shiro’s thick jacket.

Chuckling, Shiro wrapped his hands around Keith’s back, holding him close.

“So,” Shiro whispered into Keith’s ears, feeling the other shiver. “Is that a yes or a no, baby?"

Keith pushed himself away, moving back on his knees as he looked over the ring with fascination.

“Yes.” He smiled. It wasn’t bright, still in shock, but genuine. “It always been a yes for you, Shiro.”

Shiro moved the ring from the box, and slid it over his finger. Lance had been the lucky one to get the correct ring size, having pretended to do manicures with the group to teach Lotor about hand hygiene.

They hugged and kissed, the sun finally setting leaving them in lightened darkness of the beginning of a brilliant night sky.

Lotor smiled from the side. Shiro lifted an arm, silently asking for Lotor to join.

Lotor and Kosmo ran into them, the family hugging each other tightly.

“I’m engaged.” Keith gave a watery chuckle. “Lotor, you’re going to have an official new Dad.”

Lotor shrugged, having had enough of the sappy moments today. He and Kosmo pulled away from the group. He grabbed onto Kosmo’s fur, preparing to depart

“Shiro’s always been like a Dad to me, now it just makes it official.” He smiled before whispering into Kosmo’s ear, and the two disappeared, leaving the lovers alone.

Shiro fell from his knees and onto his butt in shock. “I’ve always been like a Dad to him?” He muttered, both fascinated and amazed by this revelation; Keith laughed lowly, eyes crinkling at the sides as the happiness spread over his whole face.

“Haven’t you noticed? He’s almost called you Dad like fifty times now. I think he was just waiting for it to be official.”

“I’m a Dad.” Shiro whispered.

“Will be officially a Dad down the line, my fiancée.” Keith whispered, staring at the ring. He remained on his knees, holding tightly onto the fabric against his legs.

Familial, nothing big or fancy. It was perfect.

Shiro fell back against the blanket, opening the wine and offering Keith a glass.

Keith could barely drink, still overcome from the emotion of the entire day. He suffered through a few sips for Shiro’s sake, and fell against his chest, holding onto him tightly.

Eyes closing, he whispered. “I’m sorry for overreacting.”

Shiro held him closer after finishing his own glass.

“I’m sorry for not making it more obvious about my intention. I thought I had been so obvious these past few weeks. I’m sorry for concerning you; I was honestly just trying to write it quickly before you arrived home.”

“No, don’t apologize for this. Never apologize for this. This,” Keith motioned to his hand. “Was the most amazing surprise I’ve ever had. And- and I almost ruined it tonight because my own fear got to me.”

Shiro exhaled. “I think we need to talk some more-“

Keith agreed, and let his hand fall to his side. “I didn’t realize you knew about Naxzella… or about the Kral Zera.” Keith said. As quiet as the night breeze, carrying his voice away.

“We- we thought you’d talk to us; but in good old Keith fashion, you kept it to yourself, as though your problems would be a burden to the rest of us, and moved on like a steady soldier.”

Keith shivered at the memories. “I threw up on the way back to the Castleship.” He admitted. “After Naxzella. I- I didn’t want to die- but in that moment, it was either you’d die, or I could die trying to save you. And I couldn’t- I can’t live a life without you in it, Shiro. I know what it’s like, too well,” Shiro flinched

“And it’s not a life worth living.”

“But Keith-“

“I was scared, afterwards. And I noticed I was doing it more and more, becoming more reckless, even Kolivan commented on it at some point. But I had to- because to me, any other person's life was more important than mine, because I was just some worthless, no good, unwanted orphan. I didn’t belong on Earth. And after I pushed myself away from the team, I felt like I didn’t belong in space either. And I noticed, when I wasn’t moving, memories and feelings caught up to me. And I didn’t like it, so I kept moving, kept throwing myself into danger just to not feel… or maybe feel something different.”

“After Naxzella…. I couldn’t sleep, every time I tried, I heard Matt and Coran’s voices. I heard your voice, saying ‘ _good job, Keith_ ’. And I couldn't help but wonder how’d you react if I had been successful. Would you guys mourn me? Would you have worked harder for the cause? Would there be a statue of Allura but for me? Or more likely, would you have cried for a few days, felt bad, but then continued on, because that’s life, and that’s war, and that’s how it was supposed to go. I’m just a nobody who left anyways, so who cares what happened to me.”

“Keith…” Shiro turned them over, pressing Keith into the duvet against the ground. He leaned over top, fingers pressing over Keith’s skin, over the scar.

He noticed too, that their scars matched in a way, that when they kissed, their scars made a continuous line, like they were made to be together.

“I wouldn’t have survived with you.” Shiro said. “If you had died- and not thinking about the clone, and that I literally would have died- but if you were successful? I saw how you reacted about my disappearance from Black. I- I know I wouldn’t be much different. If it had been me-“ Shiro stopped, taking in a breath- “I don’t know if I would have had the will to continue. I mean I would, maybe, I’d see the war finish, but when it came to an end, I think it would have been similar to when I was with Curtis. I would have become lost, alone. A shell of the man I once was. Without you, the world is a dark, sullen place. And I know, I know you would have died to save me, to make it so I continued living despite your sacrifice. But there is no life without you. I love you, Keith, and I mean it.”

Keith whimpered as he pulled Shiro towards himself, lips meeting in the middle. It was just there, two souls allowing the other to know the other is just there. 

Shiro pulled away.

“I’m scared, Shiro.” Keith admitted.”I’m always on edge, always so afraid.” He laughed at himself in the night sky, brushing his bangs out of his face, shaking his head. “I just. I always think that it’s too good, that something is just around the corner, ready to take it all away from me. Because all my life, I’ve slept with one eye open. I’ve never relaxed. It’s always been a battle: with the death of my dad, the foster siblings, or my abusive foster parents; the schoolyard bullies; Voltron; being with the Blade; and now Haggar. I’m so scared for when she comes back, because she will. And I know- I know my life isn’t supposed to be this good. I’m Keith Kogane: orphan, loner, hermit who was destined to be alone for the rest of his life. And I’m scared for when the world catches back up with that destiny.”

“Well,” Shiro said. “Maybe Keith Kogane’s destiny was supposed to be alone, since you’ve decided it to be, but what about Keith Shirogane? Hmm?”  
  
Keith stuttered again.

Shiro smiled kindly, noticing the shock. “I know. I know there’s a lot to be fearful of, I know how and why you’re thinking the way you are. I get it, Keith. But you’re not alone anymore. We’ve been here for years. And life isn’t supposed to last forever, so make the most of it now, and cherish it with brilliant memories. Lean on me and hold my hand and talk to me when you’re feeling like this. Because, like I said, you believe Keith Kogane’s to be fated to be alone forever, just like that scared kid that I once believed in.”

Keith gulped.

“So believe in me, and trust me, to help you make Keith Shirogane’s destiny different; better, just like I know you deserve.”

Keith, playing with the tips of Shiro’s white locks, staring into his eyes as beautiful as the starlit sky above, could only nod.

“Okay.” He whispered. “I- I think- I think I can try and trust you to do that.”

Shiro smiled, kissing Keith again before falling to the side. They both lay on their backs, arm against arm, body against body.

Keith held up his hand to the night sky, eyes peering at the ring.

“Takashi Shirogane, Lotor Shirogane… K-Keith Shirogane..” He smiled brightly, unbelieving to it all. “The Shirogane family. It has a ring to it, doesn’t it?”  
  
Shiro chuckled at the accidental pun, pulling Keith in for a kiss under the night stars.

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: https://twitter.com/elleish2  
> Tumblr: http://turnawaytherose.tumblr.com/
> 
> BEAUTIFUL AND LOVELY FANART THANK YOU SO MUCH THESE MADE MY EFFING YEARS:  
> PraetswART: https://twitter.com/PraetswART/status/1115343951886573568  
> praetsw_art: https://twitter.com/praetsw/status/1118563549456896000  
> https://twitter.com/praetsw/status/1130573931574771712
> 
> HiroAngelLight: https://twitter.com/shirolilya/status/1125474512961564674
> 
> Shiro Lily: https://twitter.com/shirolilya/status/1139487009032957952


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